orgxiii

[orgxiii]

you know what. we’re starting fresh. I’m gonna remake

[orgxiii]

jesus fucking christ

[orgxiii]

what the fuck

[orgxiii]

DEARLYBELOVES,  YOZORA​.

yozora pities them;    in a way,    he truly does.    the tilt of his head    &.    the expression that almost borders on──    empathy──    as leor struggles to stand aren’t faked.    the memory is familiar,    /    there was another keyblade wielder in their place once,    one with brown hair    &.    brown eyes    /    &.    he had been scared,    maybe,    but more confused    /    he pushes past the thought,    raises his gun to track their every movement.

“    who are you talking about?    ”    oh,    but he can guess,    when there is a man who speaks like everything is an eventuality,    a man who has done the impossible like it had meant nothing.    “    if you’re looking for that man,    then turn around.    there’s no use entangling yourself in his schemes.    ”    a leash that tightens with every day,    a muzzle that digs deeper into flesh with every move──    yes,    the only thing that leor will find is regret in ever looking for the man in the first place.

there’s no use entangling yourself in his schemes.    it’d feel inappropriate to laugh at that,  especially right now when there is blood in their mouth and an unbearable ache in their ribs,  pressing uncomfortably against their lungs.    ❪    of course,  no child chooses to be caught in this.    the war wasn’t of your own volition    /    myrl’s disappearance and eden’s death wasn’t,  either.    IF YOU COULD SAVE THEM ALL THE HEARTACHE AND TRAUMA,  BEAR IT ALL ON YOUR OWN,  YOU WOULD    ───    ❫    but one sacrifice isn’t enough to appease inevitability.

“    i’ve    ───    been apart of his scheme    ───    ”     but never a piece that mattered    /    never a casualty worth shedding tears for.    they sputter for breath,  diaphragm struggling to stutter upward.    both hands on the keyblade now,  steadying it in their grasp.    leor prowls,  slowly,  always sure to keep their distance    /    always cautious.     “    keyblade war,  unions,  foretellers    ——    any of it sound familiar to you?    ”     they bare their teeth,  disdained.     “    i’d be surprised if it wasn’t.    ”

[orgxiii]

DEARLYBELOVES,  MYRL  AND  RUINEDHEART,  VANITAS.

daybreak town is quiet;    the crunch of grass underneath    &.    the whispers of darkness is all that cuts through.    the gouges in the building    &.    the shattered windows lining them feel too──    wrong,    out of place,    in a town myrl has only known peace in.    “    we were both here the entire time    …    ”    as if drawn together,    by the remnants of their hearts even in the darkness. 

a hand squeezes leor’s,    as if afraid to lose them too.    (    a small field of dandelions.    a checkered old blanket.    an armful of treats.    those are the things i’ll cling to in the dark.    )    “    i guess    …    we should thank ventus,    then.    ”    a pause,    the silence of a graveyard full of the foul stench of metal    &.    hurt overwhelming them.    “    for bringing part of us together again.    ”

@orgxiii,    @ruinedheart.    ♡  *

it’s strange.    there used to be sunlight here    /    there used to be so many fond memories created in these streets,  back when they were all free from the war,  back when ruination felt like a distant worry.    home no longer feels like the fitting term for daybreak town    ───    not when it feels more nightmare than pleasant dream,  not when it feels less sanctuary than tomb.    ❪    your tomb.    ❫

the hum of darkness still sounds the same to them,  just like it was in their years encompassed by endless void.    it’s whispers send chills crawling up their spine,  makes them uneasy at the dull remembrance in those millennia in the depths,  but it’s made easier with myrl at their side.    without a word,  leor holds on a little bit tighter,  reminding themself of their tangibility.    ❪    like if you hold on firmly enough,  they won’t vanish again,  they won’t disappear.    it will never happen again.    ❫

“    y    …    yeah.    ”    they answer,  quietly.    a shiver finds its way in their throat,  adds to the discomfort on their neck.    ❪    something behind your skull murmurs,  satisfied,  at peace here    /    hoping that peace can extend to you once more.    ❫    they do well to ignore its call.    “    i didn’t think we’d get to see this place again.    ”    a pause,  softer this time.    “    ...    part of me wishes we couldn’t.    ”

[orgxiii]

DEARLYBELOVES,  LEA.

it feels stilted,    awkward.    it reminds lea of their days at the castle that never was,    all tension    &    bleak words,    but it’s different.    they’re both different,    even if some days,    lea still feels like axel,    &    even if today,    isa has only just woken up from years of being saïx.    how different are they,    really?    (    what would that girl say,    if she saw what monstrosities they’ve become?    )    it hovers at the doorway of isa’s room,    one hand languidly at its side,    the other    /    balled up into a fist.    “    so.    you’re awake now,    i see,    ”    it says,    &    it sounds just like it did in the castle that never was,    all aloof    &    crackling    &    sarcastic at the edges.    it’s been──    well,    how long has it been, since their battle?    hours.    weeks.    days.    time has passed,    that’s all they know.    “    must have been one hell of a nap.    ”    ♡  *    @orgxiii,    for isa.

it’s like waking up from death   /   it is waking up from death.    there’s a wariness in it’s bones,  an ache he remembers well.    phantom pains from berserk,  the endless marr of a keyblade on it’s flesh   ───   and of course,  the static beneath his skin,  an endless reminder of his disintegration into nothing.    ❪   and oh,  how you wish to be devoured by it once more.   ❫    

he’s been staring at the ceiling for a while now,  bleary-eyed,  hardly realizing that he’s still alive,  free from the cold expanse   /   though still unblinking,  tempted to yield again to lingering sleep.    his fingers twitch,  feeling the material of his shirt,  it’s tangibility.    it takes a moment for the gears to click,  but he realize that that is lea’s voice calling to him from the side,  just like it was when they were people   /   just like it was when ruination hadn’t found them.    their presence makes him sit up immediately,  almost makes it nauseous from how quickly they move.    it meets lea’s gaze with silence before it looks to his wrists,  two fingers feeling for a pulse   /   for the faintest sign of existence.    ❪   not a dream,  not the ghost of a memory that never was.    real.    sickeningly real.   ❫

“   lea?   ”     saïx   ───   saïx?   ───   isa,  finally croaks,  voice hoarse from lack of use.    a hand goes to his throat,  eyes flickering back to it’s silhouette.     “   you  ───   ”     a slight wheeze,  unsure of what to say.     “   …   you brought me back?   ”

[orgxiii]

heartslight​.   *

     it’s endearing, in its own little way! they were both still so new to this; two halves no longer divided by the rupture of who lives and who dies, both standing under the same sky / the same sun. the ocean waves laugh alongside sora as he lets a hand come to smack roxas on the shoulder, unable to really help himself! ❛  if you’re going to go in the water, you definitely need to know how to swim first! or.. i guess we could get you some floaties?  ❜ sora was being too cruel now, enjoying the tease far too much for it to be considered fair to roxas —— but then he thinks about ‘ don’t you just stand on a surf board? ’and he’s doubled over once more, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

     but he shouldn’t spend the entire time laughing at him, it wasn’t roxas’ fault he didn’t know! and what better teacher to have than sora? ❛  you need a lot of balance to surf, and it’s really easy for even the best surfers to fall in the water! you have to know to swim because we’re going to be deep in the water.  ❜ best to abandon the boards for now and focus on the most important tool when it comes to swimming — the body! ❛  c’mon, i’ll show you how to float. once you figure that out, the rest is easy!  ❜ sora doesn’t make any motion in going towards the water, though; he’s not taking any chances with roxas possibly running away!

“   floaties?   ”     he huffs.    what a way to add insult to injury!   /   really,  did sora think him a coward?    (   the more you think about it,  swimming can’t be that bad.    from what you’ve seen,  it’s basically just   ...   kicking your feet in the water and waving your arms in it in order to maintain balance and stability,  right?    sure,  the ocean will be a little rocky and you’re gonna have waves,  but really,  what’s so hard about it?   )    “   i’m not a kid and i’m not a wuss!    i don’t need your pity.   ”    spoken with sarcasm,  hands go to his hips to further solidify his point   /   another thing to cement his determination.    no way he’s gonna make a fool out of himself while trying to learn.    he’s got this swimming thing in the bag.

wait,  why’s he not   ───   ?    oh.    he realizes sora is waiting for him.    (   what,  does he think you don’t have the guts?   )    he smiles,  drops the board to the warm sand below and is more than happy to race to the impending waves.     “   what’re you waiting for?    let’s go!   ”     he yells.     “   i don’t wanna spend all day learning to swim!   ”

[orgxiii]

dearlybeloves​.   *

they laugh a little,    at that.    ventus welcomed them wholeheartedly,    &.    terra has only been so kind,    but──    “    i don’t     …    i don’t think aqua trusts me much.    or riku,    ”    they admit,    voice quiet    &.    eyes averted.    something they haven’t voiced out loud just yet,    &.    it feels horrible to do so,    as much as it is liberating.    (    finally,    someone else who would understand.    )    “    it’s not like i can fault them.    before,    if someone fell to darkness    …    we wouldn’t really speak of them again.    ”

maybe it was grief.    maybe it was part of the foretellers’ plan,    to keep the cycle going,    keep the machine running.    missions    &.    battle    &.    lux collecting    …    how many people had vanished from myrl’s life in the blink of an eye?    how many people had they forgotten?    how many people had they let themself forget?    

(    MAYBE VENTUS WAS RIGHT TO FORGET ABOUT YOU.    )

“    i guess that’s still the same,    after all these years.    it’s always been so black    &.    white.    ”

“   ah.   ”    it can understand that perfectly well.    nobody quite trusts him here,  either.    (   you and lea struggle to rebuild,  refind what you previously had   /   xion looks at you like you’re going to reprise sins past   /   and roxas still stares at you with an anger that far surpassed saïx’s.    you’ve learned to make your peace with the fact that you’ll never be forgiven.   )    “   i can empathize with that.    however,  i’m afraid it’s a different matter of circumstance for me.   ”

“   ───   but things are changing,  though.    while i’m aware aqua and riku’s experiences with darkness have been   ...   relatively negative,  there’s still hope they could come around,  you know.   ”     he earnestly,  earnestly prays they will   /   just for myrl’s sake.     “   even if they never really trust you   ...   you still have your other friend.    leor,  yes?   ”    he looks to them for confirmation,  hopes his words come out right.    he’s still learning how to comfort again.

“   friendships can have their highs and lows,  but,  it’s always important to not lose them.    the people you care for,  the people you love   ───   and especially the ones that love you back   ───   are your supports.    lose them and you begin to lose your foundations.   ”

[orgxiii]

decaysate​.   *

“    so,    ”    oikawa says,    handing leor their water bottle with a glint in his eyes,    “    you got benched during your time in shiratorizawa.    ”    there is no room for argument    /    nothing but the sheer truth    /    because he knows the story already.    seijoh’s new manager already told them all the story,    after all–    it just wants to hear first hand.    “    your friend said that you got into a fight with ushiwaka-chan,    got benched,    &.    then transferred    …    isn’t that big brute just so disagreeable?    ”    its face breaks into an uncomfortably smug smile,    as if finally vindicated after all these years.    “    i commend you for lasting that long under his rule.    ”    ♡  *    @orgxiii​,    for leor.

they really,  really don’t understand why everyone is so stoked about them.    (  not like you had a chance at shiratorizawa,  anyways.    it was a losing battle,  and eventually   /   one way or the other,  you were bound to be kicked out.   )

“   ...  ah,  i’m guessing myrl told you?   ”     they breathe,  taking the water bottle   /   giving a nod of their head in appreciation.    the back of their head hits lightly against the wall,  weary,  but relishing the slight sting in their hand.     “   besides,  i think i would’ve died if i had to endure his rule.    it was either gonna be me trying to lay a hit on that dickhead of a coach or me finally getting tired of ushijima.   ”    they swallow down water,  sighs.    “   frankly?    i’m glad it was me calling ushijima out on his shit.   ”

leor looks to oikawa,  now.    curious.     “   what?   did he also terrorize aoba johsai in the past or something?   ”

[orgxiii]

“   i can’t sleep.  ”     he says.   there’s a certain note in his voice,  admitting it like it’s something shameful or even silly.    (   they’re not even nightmares,  really.   they’re just dreams.   nothing about it should unnerve you and yet  ——  yet they feel like memories you’ve never had and you awake with this sad feeling in your chest every single time.   you don’t get it   /   you can’t understand.   )    xehanort wraps it’s arms around it’s pillow tighter,  presses it more firmly to his chest at the thought.     “   you mind if i crash in here?   ”     a beat of silence.     “   i can sleep on the floor.   ”

@dearlybeloves.

[orgxiii]

@heartslight,  sora:   *

     sora isn’t sure what would be the appropriate reaction to this revelation. a part of him wants to laugh / tilt his head back and let the comedy of it all roll through because the idea that the person who used to be his nobody didn’t even know how to swim was just too good to be true! but then another part of sora wanted to smack roxas upside the head with the board in his hands, absolutely blown away at the fact that despite all the prep and the warm up —— it only just now dawned on roxas that he couldn’t swim? this would’ve been great to know beforehand!

     but sora does neither, opting instead for the maturity of the third option; he lets out a sigh and slaps the front of his face with his free hand. ❛  that definitely throws a wrench in our beach day plans.. but it’s nothing we can’t fix!  ❜ because sora wasn’t about to just throw roxas in the water after learning all of this but he also wasn’t about to let the day go to waste either! ❛  before we learn to surf, we have to learn to swim! so let’s get to it!  ❜

❛   c’mon,  the first time i went to the beach i didn’t even get into the water!   ❜    he only went ankle deep  ——  couldn’t even feel the water through the thick leather of his org boots.    (   and it’s silly,  you know,  something so mundane compared to the views of others,  but you can finally,  really enjoy a day at the beach this time  ——  free from xemnas,  free from the organization’s gaze.   )

the sand is warm and comforting on his feet   /   the breeze soothes his skin and makes the shine of the sun a little bit more bearable.   ❛   besides,  like   ...   maybe once i get into the water it’ll come to me?   i’ve never actually tried it out.   ❜   he raises an eyebrow at the mention of learning to swim before learning to surf,  skeptical.    ❛   also,  what’s the point of that anyway?   don’t you just  ——  stand on a surf board and lay on it when you paddle out?   you can’t surf without knowin’ how to swim?  ❜

[orgxiii]

ruinedheart,  eden​:    *

trouble / trouble / this person was a stranger and eden has already caused them so much trouble, they haven’t uttered a word themself and everyone has already begun to apologize — why had they stared? ( because you were curious, the wayward heart replies. because it’s okay to learn about people and places you have never seen before. ) arms bring chirithy close, keep chirithy near and there’s a dash of bravery / a twinge of desperation to save the remains of this wrecked first encounter.

❛  your.. your spikes!  ❜ is what manages to squeak on by first, but with chirithy’s gentle rubs to their arm, eden finds the proper footing to continue, ❛  i like them.  ❜ tears continue to prick at the edges as a heavy blush starts to form and the embarrassment was enough to suffocate them —— but chirithy was there to help save the day. ❛  your outfit’s real unique, so they were immediately caught by it. eden didn’t mean to be rude, they were just trying to figure out a way to compliment you! we hope you aren’t upset?  ❜

it’s really,  really,  really hard to not laugh.   not to laugh out of malice,  but to laugh in the was-that-really-all? kind of way.   leor brings the back of their palm to their mouth and tries to hide their smile,  terribly.   

❛   ...   i'm not upset at all.   ❜    they say,  brings the back of their palm away from their mouth and fully lets that smile on display,  a rare sight for anyone in the unions.    ❛   lotta people judge me based on how i look.   guess i get defensive whenever somebody is staring at me for too long,  y’know?   ❜

their hands goes to unclasp one of the many bracelets around their wrist  ——  a spiked one,  three-rowed.   leor stares at it for a minute,  as if deciding whether it’s the right one,  and offers it out to eden.   

❛   dunno if it will like   ...   cramp on your swag or somethin’,  but here.   you can have it.   i can make some more for you,  too,  if you really want more.   ❜

[orgxiii]

dearlybeloves,  myrl:·

“    mm.    ”    it all sounds like a story doomed for unhappiness    /    a circle of deceit    &.    pain that keeps on turning    /    they want to laugh at the despair of it all.    myrl doesn’t.    (    it just seems to be the nature of the universe,    they’ve learned.    )    “    i’ve been asleep for──    for a while,    it seems.    ventus got older,    while i was──    ”    they fumble for the words.    “    ──    gone.    ”

left behind again    /    in a way that stings,    because ventus hadn’t recognized them    /    utterly useless,    &.    forgotten.    myrl shrugs,    looks out towards the land of departure.    “    people didn’t come back from the darkness back then,    either.    it was supposed to be the end of your story.    but that’s different now,    too.    ”    &.    not just them.    a cautious look up at saïx solidifies their point.

❛   i suppose,   ❜   is all he says.   quiet,  thinking.   isa feels their eyes on him and he doesn’t return the same when they do.   he understands what they mean.   instead,  it keeps it’s gaze down to his hands   /   a thumb chipping away at already fraying nail polish,  something to distract.   a sigh.   it speaks again.   ❛   it must’ve been difficult,  yes?   being away for so long and staying the same while everything just   ...   changed.   ❜

eyes flicker upward and look to them,  n̲o̲ ̲l̲o̲n̲g̲e̲r̲ ̲a̲m̲b̲e̲r̲.̲   no longer possessed.   and there’s something sad beneath there,  more miserable than he’s since re-completion and carrying an unseen level of empathy.    ❪   you feel sad for them   /   you somehow sympathize with their plight,  somehow comprehend it.   things change and someone always manages to stay impervious to it and when you finally realize it has,  h̲o̲w̲ ̲c̲o̲u̲l̲d̲ ̲y̲o̲u̲ ̲r̲e̲s̲p̲o̲n̲d̲ ̲t̲o̲ ̲i̲t̲?̲   saïx’s answer was cruelty everlasting   /   you pray myrl’s answer is infinitely kinder.   ❫

❛   i know it may be hard but   ...   you will adjust to it.    to this world.    to living again.   ❜   isa pauses,  gives a shrug of his shoulders.   ❛   you appear to be doing fine thus far.    people enjoy having you around.   ❜

[orgxiii]

ruinedheart·:    ♡ *

they really hadn’t meant to. chirithy had warned them time and time again about their wandering eyes but eden really hadn’t meant to be so obvious in their staring! they get caught all the same and now it’s a struggle to get the words out / a squeeze at the chirithy in their arms as they hide their burning features behind the spirit. ❛  so sorry! they’re so sorry! aren’t ya?  ❜ furious nodding is what answers chirithy’s question, the words dying in the center of their throat. 

❛  they didn’t mean to stare, honest! they were just.. um.. curious? but they’re really shy, so it didn’t really translate all that well.  ❜ aah, eden could feel the prickling of tears / could feel the tightness in their chest and the anxiousness form a rock in their mouth — had they messed things up? were they upset with them? was chirithy exasperated?

oh.    well.    now  they  just  feel  bad.    it  doesn’t  take  much  for  leor  to  raise  their  hands  into  a  dismissive  wave   /   smile  apologetically   /   anything  to  make  the  other  feel  better.    ❪   ira  said  something  to  you  about  this  once.    something  about  ...  people  taking  what  you  say  differently  depending  on  how  you  phrase  it  or  how  you  say  it  with  your  voice?   did  you  sound  rude  or  confrontational?    you  don’t  know  ...  maybe  you  were?   ❫

❛   they’re  good!    don’t  feel  bad  about  it  or  anything,  i  was  just,  like  ...  observing?   ❜    wait,  are  those  tears?    oh,  jeez  ——  please  don’t  cry   /   please  don’t  feel  bad.    ❛   i  guess  the  way  i  said  it  didn’t  translate  as  well  either.   seriously,  please  don’t  feel  awful.   ❜    seriously,  it’ll  make  me  feel  like  the  worst  person  on  earth.

[orgxiii]

they’re  ——  they’re  angry   /   it  comprises  their  entire  being,  has  earned  its  right  as  the  foundation  for  every  hateful,  justified  ambition  in  their  body.    ❪   wrath  in  its  rawest  form,  you  distantly  think.    b̲r̲u̲t̲a̲l̲ ̲ ̲a̲n̲d̲ ̲ ̲u̲g̲l̲y̲ ̲ ̲a̲n̲d̲ ̲ ̲r̲a̲g̲i̲n̲g̲.̲    but  it’s  almost  funny,  and  if  it  were  appropriate  for  the  time,  maybe  you’d  find  the  nerve  to  laugh  at  the  irony.    ira  would  be  so  proud.   ❫

❛  WHERE  THE  FUCK  IS  HE?!  ❜    they  taste  blood,  foul  and  vile  on  their  tongue.    scraped  palms  push  themself  off  of  the  pavement,  rises  swift  to  their  feet.    and  with  an  unsteady  hand,  they  raise  their  keyblade  to  point  to  him.    a  threat   /   a  promise.    none  of  it  empty.    ❛  the  master  ——  you  ——  you  work  for  him.    y̲o̲u̲ ̲ ̲k̲n̲o̲w̲ ̲ ̲s̲o̲m̲e̲t̲h̲i̲n̲g̲!̲    I  KNOW  YOU  KNOW  SOMETHING.  ❜    for  @dearlybeloves  ›    ♡ *   WE  R  FUCKING  BRAWLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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❛   ...   ❜    they’re  really,  really  trying  not  to  say  anything   ——   but  it’s  difficult  when  they  can  feel  both  eden  and  their  chirithy’s  eyes  on  them  and  leor  finally  resolves  to  side-eye  the  two.    skeptical,  confused.    ❪   maybe  it’s  the  way  you’re  dressed  ...  ?   ❫

❛   you’re  staring  at  me,   ❜    they  remark,  raises  an  eyebrow.    not  trying  to  be  mean,  or  rude   ——   heaven  forbid  someone  else  in  the  unions  think  you’re  scary.    ❛   somethin’  the  matter?   ❜    for  @ruinedheart   ›    ♡. *

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