nukcarer

[nukcarer]

‼��

I don't really post about this kinda stuff anymore but

coming from a system who was harassed off their old account by endos due to us using plural tags.

YOU HAVE FULL RIGHT TO USE ANY TAGS TO DESCRIBE YOUR DISORDER.

yes plural, yes plurality, yes collective, yes multiple. Anything at all

If you get hate from endos who are breaking your boundaries and dni, block them

I tried to educate and inform, even simply telling them to not contact me, but they are harmful.

please just block them.

We can take the term plurality back from ableists

WE ARE SYSPUNK AND WE WILL RECLAIM OUR TERMS

I will very likely get harassed by their "safe" and "welcoming" community again. This time I will simply block them and ignore their hateful behavior. I advise you to do the same.

reassurance and advice under the cut:

Somthing a lot of endos claimed I was doing was being "hateful" for venting on my account about the ableism and misinformation from endos

You are not hateful for being upset about people faking, watering down, and spreading harmful misinformation about your DISORDER.

You didn't ask for this, none of us did

If an ableist (endo) calls you ableist, remember:

they "identify" as a non disordered system

you proving facts proved by psychology and the science of the development of a child's brain is NOT ableism, in fact, it can't be. They don't "identity" as having OSDDDID, they just identify with being a system. You proving them wrong is not and will never be ableist.

You are not in the wrong here. Your disorder is being appropriated and being treated horribly.

Endos support the idea of telling singlets to "become systems", even creating posts like "build an alter". Theres "syshopping" and "selling alters" which they've created. Making people take our disorder so much less seriously. Its horrible and extremely dangerous towards the young and impressionable minds on the internet.

FOR THE RECORD:

I do not support the idea of misusing tags that are genuinely for endos to stir up an argument (such as #endogenic #endos #pro endo)

It can be incredibly dangerous for your mental health and is being hateful, I know they're ableist, and it isn't fair, but we have to be the bigger person. We cannot stoop down to their level.

Yes, they will break your and my DNI's, they are harmful, this is a fact. But we must not break theirs,

we will be better than them.

[nukcarer]

dad surprising his kiddos with a trip to the aquarium . Packing a diaper bag for them making sure he has everything his two babies could possibly need . He helped them get dressed and made sure they had a comfort stuffie with them . “ alright kids let’s head to the car okay ? “

Helping them into the car and buckling them both in their car seats making sure they were safe and secure . He hands them their stuffies lightly ruffling boys hair , and gently pinching his tiny girls cheek . “ let’s get on the road hm ? “

After some time both kiddos eyes widen and their faces light up with such sweet and excited smiles . “ dada fischy ? “ mister mister see da fischies ? “ you smile nodding . “ yes , we’re gonna get to see all the fishies ! “ they turn to eachother and squeal hugging eachother “ eee “

You head into the aquarium , diaper bag on your back incase you should need it for anything . You pay your entry fee . And boy holds onto one hand while your tiny girl holds onto the other . Both bursting with excitement . They start to take off but you gotta gently remind them to stay close to dad . “ I know you both are very excited but you gotta stay close to dad okay ? Dad doesn’t want either of you to get lost okay ? “ they both nod “ yes dada , we’ll hold your hand the whole time “

And you all were off . Making sure to look at everything . Boy got so excited seeing the clownfish , he was bouncing and stimming just oh so happy . Clownfish were his favorite in the whole world after all . Your little girl spots the shark exhibit and taps her bubba on the shoulder “ bubba bubba , look look Theres whole bunch of sharks “ boy turns around and gasps loudly . They both grab hands and pull at my shirt

“ dad dad can we go look at the sharks now ? Please please pleaseeee “ you smile laughing softly . “ of course kids let’s go shall we ? “ they pull me towards the sharks and stand on their tip toes trying to see everything . “ here this may help “ you lift up boy to let him get a good look at the sharks , seeing him smile and point out a whale shark and seeing him so happy made you feel so warm inside . “ woahh das my favorite one dada ! m love dat one so much “ alright bubba let’s give your sis a turn okay ? “ he nods . Content with just getting to see them swim all around .

“ alright sweetheart , come here “ you gently lift her up and let her get a good view of the sharks . She smiles clapping her hands spotting some of her favorites . “ look mister it’s a goblin shark , das so cool “ you smile “ yes they are sweet girl “ once they’ve gotten a good long while seeing the sharks we were off again.

We spend some time at the octopus

Exhibit . Seeing the little dumbo octopus and blue ringed octopus . Both of them so tickled . We look at the tide pools and stingrays . We also make sure to go to the jellyfish room , dim soft lighting and all the beautiful jellyfish swimming around with one another . Your kids so excited . Barley able to stay still .

“ would you guys like to play on the indoor play place ? “ they shake their heads no . “ Hmm , let dad see , how about the gift shop ? You can each pick out a new stuffie friend to commemorate this trip ? “ they smile immediately nodding their heads . We head over to the gift shop and let them look around to see if they find something they like . “ boy picks out a pocket sized clownfish friend and a manta ray plush . Your little girl picks out a shark stuffie and a jellyfish charm keychain that glows in the dark .

“ is that what you each settled on ? “ they nod happily . We head up to the register and get everything paid for . And head back home . Both kids fast asleep in their car seats . New and old stuffie friends tucked under their arms . A day they’ll be sure to remember 🤍

[nukcarer]

caregiver ( dad ) bag essentials !

. Toys ( stim toys , small plush toys , rattles , crinkle toys )

. Pacifier or two and a pacifier clip

. Pacifier wipes

. A teether or two

. Sippy cup or bottle

. Snacks ( puffs , applesauce or yogurt squeeze pouches , fruits cut up , small crackers like peanut butter or cheese Rits bites , etc )

. Dips & pull-ups , baby powder , changing mat and wipes ( if your tiny needs them )

. A change of clothes

. A bib to avoid messes or staining fav clothes

. Sensory aids and mobility aids ( should they need them ! noise cancelling headphones , foldable cane or forearm crutches )

. Any meds they may need if they need them

. Always make sure they have a comfort stuffie friend or two

. A blankie ( ideal for when they are cold or fall asleep on a car ride )

. Communication cards and their sunflower lanyard ( if they have one )

. Inhaler

. Cold packs , salt , liquid ivs ( if they’re a chronically ill baby with pots )

[nukcarer]

one thing i hate personally is being permanently stuck at like. 14 mentally.

the body is almost 20. but i haven't changed a bit. it's jarring and uncomfortable to be an adult who doesn't know how to be one.

out of every headmate we know we're either still stuck in our teens in headspace or entirely ageless for vibes.

[nukcarer]

if you've ever purposefully tried to deny your system/"turn it off" and it still keeps happening, your system can't be fake.

you can't subconsciously fake something while fighting against it.

[nukcarer]

Host: Wow our memory is getting so much worse...

New alter: *slowly cat walks into the headspace*

Host: OH COME ON!

[nukcarer]

I despise seeing folks posting things implicitly fakeclaiming other systems.

Especially for things we experience.

So, have some positivity.

Systems with only members in the single digits, we get you. I know it feels difficult to exist here when there's seemingly no one else like you.

Systems who hear no voices, we get you. That doesn't make you any less of a system, that doesn't make your sysfolk any less real.

Systems with high split tolerance or systems who don't split anymore, we get you. We don't think we've split in years. That, or our last one was the first in years.

Systems who mask nearly perfectly, we get you. Often that's exactly how a system is built to function. It doesn't mean it's any less difficult or real for you.

Systems who have no roles, we get you. I'm the only sysfolk in ours that has really claimed any role.

Systems who use the term "core," we get you. We only stopped for fear of being derided, but no one should police how you label yourself. If core feels right to you, then it feels right to you.

Systems who have confusing insys relationships, we get you. I'm in one, despite not having a headspace. It's hard to describe and I'm alright with that. It doesn't make mine or yours any less real.

Systems with sysfolk that fit stereotypes, we get you. I fit the "evil alter" stereotype when I'm not wearing my mask. I'm tired of folks claiming having one is villainizing systems. Sometimes it's simply how the world made us.

Traumagenic systems who don't know their trauma and/or don't care to know it, we get you. Ours is only vague feelings of what happened. Some of us don't care to know and some of us need to.

Systems who use "odd" language for themselves, we get you. Hell, we use sysfolk. We're certainly not in any place to judge.

Systems, keep trucking along. You're doing good. Sometimes doing good is thriving. Sometimes doing good is simply surviving. And hey, you're here. You're surviving.

[nukcarer]

Do people forget muscle memory exists

"Why do you and all your alters write basically the same way?"

Perchance because our hand has been writing that way since we learned how to write. Just a thought though

[nukcarer]

Remember to take a shower.

Even if you dont use soap, even if its only for a few seconds, even if you decide you want a bath, even if you dont wash your hair, get in the shower. you'll feel so much better, trust me.

[nukcarer]

Reminder that your trauma WAS and IS enough.

There isn't a scale dictating who had it worse and who has it the best.

If you're experiencing trauma responses, it was, in fact. Bad Enough. It was, in fact. Traumatizing Enough. You aren't faking. It is not all in your head. What happened to you was real, and you're allowed to feel however you want about that.

You're allowed to be angry.

You're allowed to be sad.

You're allowed to wish for things to be different.

You're allowed to be bitter about what happened - and in general, really.

PRO ENDOS & ENDOGENIC "SYSTEMS" DNI - THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU!

[nukcarer]

low headcount? COOL

high headcount? COOL

lots of fictives and introjects? COOL

lots of nonhuman alters? COOL

none? COOL

ur still a system ur still allowed to exist ur existence is not invalidated by how ur system presents

[nukcarer]

it’s okay for headmates to change. headmates don’t have to always stay the same no matter what. your likes and dislikes can change, your role in your system can change, your gender and sexuality can change, your relationship to personhood and humanity can change, your status as an introject, fictive, or factive can change, nearly anything about yourself is subject to change, and that’s okay.

we headmates are people too. our identities are not set in stone. we are allowed to grow, develop, and become someone new. and those of us who do change are still just as deserving of kindness, love, and respect.

if you no longer identify in ways that you used to, we love you. we love you as you were and as you are now. change can be scary, but it’s often a good thing. it’s okay to celebrate and revel in your changes. you’re learning and growing, and we are so proud of you.

[nukcarer]

sysculture is realizing that you don't actually split out of nowhere and new alters don't just "spawn," you're just constantly under so much stress that it feels normal but your brain is on the verge of splitting at any moment, which is why when things start to seem scary you actually notice a recent split

.

[nukcarer]

sometimes the thought of "you're just faking this because it's something people consider 'cool" pops into my head a lot.

however i have to sit back and ask myself why i'd be faking something like this when i'm by myself, not around anyone at all and not visible to others.

because i think if i was faking anything, it wouldn't be causing me genuine distress, things wouldn't happen when no one else is around.

[nukcarer]

it is kinda fascinating how DID/OSDD is the biggest mental illness with people actively wanting to have it/ actively trying to demedicalize a mental disability...like. I would rather deal with someone who thinks DID doesn't exist than an endo system try to explain to me how trauma doesn't apply to systems...Endos who are actively attacking and trying to manipulate the medical definitions/data and care for systems are a bigger threat to systems than any fake claimers.

[nukcarer]

sometimes DID is "haha people in brain"

but most of the time its:

"fuck wait when did it become [time] why am i on my phone didnt i need to make dinner? oh no who am i whats going on"

*constant vague flashbacks as people float in and out of front*

"oh god when did i get here where am i?"

*deep dissociation*

*being unable to care for myself due to dissociation*

"i do this all the time why cant *i* do this why can i not remember?"

*forgetting important or even just every day things*

*can never think clearly*

*too many voices and thoughts that arent mine*

[nukcarer]

'Having D.I.D isn't just about silly alters!'

Thats correct it can also be;

Scattered amnesia that makes you question your own existence.

Alters moving objects when you thought you were in control and then freaking out cause it wasn't YOU.

Clothes hoarding to the point its a problem cause you feel like theres someone in the system who will wear it/ get upset if you throw it away.

Having a alter talk to you in the mind and keep you from having a panic attack.

Hearing a persecutor threaten you in the middle of a mental breakdown about something else.

Having alters/persecutors who hold trauma so bad that you can't look at them. Or having alters/persecutors who hold trauma so bad that they continue to act on.