nameless5868

[nameless5868]

Bunny

Character inspo:

She's a bunny like her mother, but got one of her fathers monstrous trails that she hides.

He didn't know this about himself but he's into it.

[nameless5868]

My artwork

Creature creations series 18+

Monsters secretary 18+

Call of duty, Nikto x y/n

Monster pegging 18+

Vent art series

Bunny gif

Frog

Usagi character art and description

Heian era lady

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Vent art

The thoughts are back gif

Fuck society collage

Error collage

Its getting bad again gif

[nameless5868]

Exactly

They only notice my anger but never all the times I wasn't

Never notices my kindness, my act of service, my leniency for their stupidity

The amount of times I'm just holding it all in, my heart racing, my blood pressure skyrocketing while I'm standing their silently counting my fingers so I don't say anything just a little harsh, because any tiny bit of harshness and they play the ' your scary card'. And the scay thing was only based of one incident where I was so tired and couldn't hold it in anymore, so I got loud once, they get loud daily and I don't play some cowering pathetic card when they scare me, when their yelling triggers me daily, I don't say shit so give me a break on the rare occasions I can't hold it in.

I'm human, I'm not some monster. It took me years to erase that mindset that others put on me, that I put on me of being a monster, I'm human too.

"they're now afraid of your anger"

well.

the FUCK were they doing when i wasn't?

making me mad, that's what.

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Cleaning is something i usually procrastinate, there are only a few rare cases where I do it unprompted

A random burst of energy to clean things, a bit manic really

Im tired of stepping on shit and it's annoying me and i anger clean

Im numb and no activity brings me an bit of enjoyment so I do the tasks I'm put off

Ex. I've been meaning to wash my makeup brushes for like months but only did it today because I'd rather clear them then sit numb doing nothing.

Scrolling and any distractions not working so I took like an hour and half to wash my brushes and sponges. But that was only an hour and a half taken up and so many more hours in the day to fill.

Its weird any more depressed and I'd just sit in one place all day and not care, just stare at a wall. But the level I'm at now, it's like I'm on a horrible roller-coaster of dipping into the 'stare at a wall' and 'seek serotonin'. But the serotonin seeking keep failing making me dip into the ' stare at a wall' so now I'm just filling time. Usually I don't get much done during the day, I like taking a more relaxed pace but now I'm trying to fill the hours.

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Art vent, sometimes it's easier to get it out in art form than in words

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The thoughts are back

My knives, razors, and lighters I'm glancing at them differently rn.

I wanna reach for them, I wanna use them on myself, I want to so badly.

But if i throw away my clean days, what do I have left, what will I be. Being clean is something I define myself by, can I go back to be an active user again. And that's a very slipper slope for me, I won't stop with a cut or burn I'll go full self destructive until I'm unrecognizable.

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Just opened tumblr, feeling like shit and this is the first thing I saw and it exactly what I'm feeling.

it’s so heartbreaking to realize that i’m not getting better.. it’s just phases of good, then bad, then repeat.. no matter how good i think i’m doing, it always seems to get bad again..

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I need something to do, if i don't have an activity like drawing, Minecraft, crafting ect. I feel depressed and anxious, like something is missing and deeply wrong, like a part of what I need to function is missing.

And the irony is if I do an activity too much, push myself, put too much energy into it, then I kill all energy I have for any activity. Leaving me in the unconformable void, always on edge unable to have the missing peice I need to be complete.

I was doing art, drawing, something I like to do, it should make me feel good, but no. I set too high standards and when what I make doesn't meet that I feel bad and that's caused a loss of interest and energy in all activities.

I hate when I slip into this state, it feels unbearably uncomfortable, something is missing and I can't reach it but I desperately want to and that struggle makes it worse.

There are moments when I forget about my autism, forget how different I work then other people, but this is one of those things that makes the difference clear. Cause trying to explain this to someone they just say oh relax take a break for activities or just pick one. But the thing is I need an activity and I can't just pick.

I just wanna cry and I'm fighting the tears.

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I love that on the outside I look like a sweet Lil librarian with my glass and sweaters but if you could read my mind or see my sketchbook you'd know I'm a feral monster fucker.

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PSA to anyone who gets their holes stuffed, do not use Trojans Bold condoms unless you wanna experience a simulation of having a popsicle made of icy hot inside you.

For your partner the sensation stops shortly after they remove the condom, but for the one getting their holes stuffed the feeling doesn't go away for a while.

If you've ever wanted to get fucked by a snow monster, then maybe this would be right up your alley.

[nameless5868]

Fuck Society

Fuck hypocrisy

Vent below, tw warning sui

Even when your life is unbearable pain, just pure fucking misery, they say suicide is worse, wrong, not an option.

Suicide is a sin. Suicide is imoral. Suicide is wrong. Suicide is illegal.

Well try walking a mile in my fucking shoes man and you'll be wishing for it too.

I'm not adverting or suggesting suicide, I'm just saying it shouldn't be so criticized. When you get to the point where it's your only option you shouldn't have to worry how your death is gonna give the people your connected to this tarnished stain of being connected to someone who committed.

Mental health isn't always based on your environment and surroundings, it's your brain. Trauma and mental illness change the brain, you can put in the work, take the meds,do the therapy and treatments and still be suffering.

You can have good days, good months, and still be suffering, still wish for death, still wish you didn't make it this far. Because mental illness isn't just a dark period it's something your stuck with even when you make progress you can't get ride of it.

We who suffer should have the option, when we have tried so so fucking hard, we should have the option to end our suffering without all the society bullshit.

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The monster inside

Ive always felt there's a monster that lives inside me.It's always ready to fight, to tear someone, anyone down. Even when I was a child, I felt its presence. It used to scare me, and it still does. My body, my mind its not my own, I live in this mortal shell with a monster that hungers for chaos, conflict, and pain.

The monster hurts people that i don't mean to hurt. The smallest thing can trigger it, making it surge forward, taking control of me, and when I come back, I have to deal with the wreckage.

But if it was gone, I'd miss it. It's my weapon, my protector, the card up my sleeve, I can always count on it to be there. It's how I've survived this long.

But all I know is war, conflict, fighting, my monster trained to take someone down with a few swift words, striking their most painful wounds that my monster catologed just waiting for the time to use them to strike.

But now I'm out of the war, but my training is still strong, and I don't know how to be a regular, be around other regulars so I hurt them badly without meaning to. That's the only time I regret my monster, that's the only time it scares me, knowing I could hurt someone I love and barely remember it after.

[nameless5868]

This is my vibe/life/goals inspo

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we usually think of mood as a scale from 1-5, but there's actually a negative scale too, where the frown turns back into a smile, but just a little insane !

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Ummmm,this makes me feel some sort of way.

Just came across this on Pinterest and yeah wanted to share for any fellow monster fuckers who like tentacles

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Just impulsively gave myself the front part of a scene haircut.

Yeah, I've always wanted that, but I did it without thinking, gotta love bpd.

I've kinda gotta this new philosophy on my hair, I want it long so the back I won't touch and let it keep growing but the front bangs area is to experiment and play with. My hairs been growing so fast that it's fine I can keep switching it up.

But damn not a second though just cut it and only now after it's over do i realize what I did. It's kinda scary I can do something and o ly realize afterm