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Sometimes an author takes too long to describe a character's physical characteristics. So I've already created an image of them in my head and I simply will not be dissuaded at that point.

Why do you keep describing her with a blonde bob? She has long, somewhat unkempt, black hair with Irish curls.

Pale? Oh, because he's a vampire? So his skin isn't flushed, due to lack of feeding. Maybe that's what you mean. Because that is melanated man. He has warm, dark skin. And you keep calling him pale but I think you're simply looking for the word "undead".

His "thin frame"? I'm sorry, that gentleman is stout. He is a delightful little teapot of a man. Stop slandering. The tragic Russian novel demon with COPD and the Bog King love interest can be all kinds of bony. But the lover of all things cozy and home-y? His body will be well taken care of and plump.

ANOTHER BLONDE??? Why do you keep thinking these people are blonde??? How many blondes have you met????

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If a story does its job, it doesn’t ever end. Not really. But it can change. This is the nature of folktales. They shift to fit each teller. Take whatever form suits the bearer best. What begins as a story of sorrow can be acknowledged, held like a sweetheart to the chest, rocked and sung to. And then, it can be set down to sleep. It can become an offering. A lantern. An ember to lead you through the dark.

GennaRose Nethercott, Thistlefoot

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Sherlock Holmes Canon Content Analysis

My Holmie @cinny13 and I ran a content analysis on the Sherlock Holmes Canon, running through each "suspicious" description Watson gives of Holmes's hands. So this means "Holmes clapped his hands" does not apply, however "long thin hands", absolutely does. After gathering all the relevant passages (thanks to the author's personal annotated edition of the Canon), we have quantified the qualitative data.

That Watson may have an obsession with Holmes's hands is obvious. In future when I run over the Canon again I think it would be relevant to compare all of the hand descriptions, with all the rest concerning Holmes's body (e.g. "sinewy neck" or "gaunt limbs").

Anyway, I advocate for using science on the Sherlock Holmes Canon. Never stop being insane because this is what the world truly needs at the end of the day.

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Sherlock Holmes modern adaptation but the main characters (Sherlock, Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Irene Adler, and maybe even Lestrade) are all vampires and they’ve just been doing their thing since the time period of the original books

Irene gets to be from New Jersey like she is in canon and she’ll occasionally show up and help Sherlock with a case but they don’t ever date or hook up or anything

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WISH 9th level conjuration "Wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast...you can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with your desires...finally, there is a 33 percent chance that you are unable to cast Wish ever again..."

cue the walk of shame back to the cottage cuz astarion forgot his gloves

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I am forever guiding those who are lost.

And to be clear, I do NOT mean this in a profound way at all. I mean this in a DEEPLY literal sense.

Lost people gravitate to me. I can be walking down a busy thoroughfare where streams of people pass the Lost person and they grab *me*. I will be out with friends or co-workers, but it's always me that they stop. I've helped people find bus stops, restaurants, graveyards, parks, the library, their car, a better spot to busk, free places to shelter from the elements, good photo ops, etc. this happens at least once a week. Whether it was 4:00 a.m. like last night or the middle of the day. Lost people come to me. The last time I was out with a friend to get coffee, I got stopped FOUR separate times. We were only out for a couple of hours.

And I'm always delighted to do it. I love my city and I know a lot about its history. I cannot tell you how many times folks have asked if I'm a tour guide. No, I just love to steward this town. And I've spent a lot of time in it so I know where to get good food or peak into the mundane divinity of the space.

What makes this even more uncanny to me is the way that it sometimes feels like some ancestral legacy. Again, like some deeply mundane force of magic. Because people would do the same thing to my bastard father. We traveled all the time and without fail, lost people would flock to him, even when he had never been in that place before. And he was usually able to guide them regardless. It was the same with his father. Not the Chosen One like you're going to fight a dragon, but the Chosen One to receive the little uncanny gift of helping someone stressed and displaced find a lovely spot by the water.

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I love when Sherlock Holmes ejaculates.

And by that,

I mean that for some reason, "ejaculate" is one of Dr Watson's favorite verbs to describe when Sherlock Holmes is shouting in surprise and delight.

... Which is coincidentally also what Sherlock Holmes does when Doc Watson gets the detective's *Scotland Yard* Scotland hard. 🍆💦

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Awesome piece of animation art 🤯 Reels by alindraws

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I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

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I know they're British.

But reading the classic Sherlock Holmes stories, it is still hilarious how often the subjects get themselves into a ✨Situation ✨ because they felt compelled to take a tea break.

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having thoughts about gotham my beloved wretched city again. i think robin shrines would be a thing

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Autonomous by Annalee Newitz = All These Things That I Have Done by The Killers

The romances in White Trash Warlock by David R. Slayton = Hide by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

The romance in Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots = Vampire Empire by Big Thief

Feel free to message and geek out about these books if you know them ❤️ Book fandoms are tiny but my love for them is immense.

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Sometimes a family is:

You (a literal monster)

Your (tastefully cannibalistic, performance artist) mom

Her gay doctor best friend that she gets together with in their forties

Your old money dad (Mom's ex-husband)

His husband (gentrifier)

Your parents dead son (whose memories You kind of have? And who's lung you grew from after being fed chicken broth?)

Grandma

Grandma's cleaning lady (They might be fucking)

Uncle Joe (doesn't talk but VERY supportive of you being a monster)

The many, many dead neighborhood pets you've eaten (actually, that might not be part of the family. That might just be snacks)

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Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova is a Frankenstein story if Victor have been horrified and disgusted by the monster but still chose to love it. Still chose to protect and parent it.

It's Frankenstein but the queerness isn't subtext. It's integral, explicit, and kinky.

It's Frankenstein but the horror isn't being haunted by what you've abandoned. It's being haunted by what you are devoted to. What that devotion hath wrought.

It's Frankenstein except Frankenstein's monster isn't being hunted by the village. The monster has its own village that loves it. And they draw blood too. That monster is their baby.

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Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro = O Superman by Laurie Anderson 😥💔

The romances in White Trash Warlock by David R. Slayton = Hide by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

The romance in Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots = Vampire Empire by Big Thief

Feel free to message and geek out about these books if you know them ❤️ Book fandoms are tiny but my love for them is immense.

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i know we’re both just messing around pretending to be whole but look at me. if the train was coming would you move. if the ground was falling from under your feet would you even notice or would it just be another tuesday for you. if somebody stabbed you could it hurt worse than you already do. what i’m saying is that i love you but i think we both drive over the speed limit when it’s raining. what i’m saying is that i want to hold your hand and i understand about how you sometimes have to sit down in the shower. what i’m saying is that i’m here for you and if the train comes please move.