matt-schue

[matt-schue]

Matt: well damn. this convo went in a direction I didn't intend.... I blame the copious amounts of rum I mixed into my nog last night Matt: why do you keep calling yourself a disaster? you were hurt by someone you trusted and your reaction to it is how anyone should feel. Matt: Those aren't easy questions to answer. When I moved here, I thought it was a fresh start to stop fucking around and try to actually settle down with someone. The funny thing is that not even a month later, I did wind up in a relationship, and things were going great. Until she moved. I hate that, but after all this time, it still hurts. And it's only because I thought I could have something serious. So, do I want something serious? Yeah, but if it means going through that again, I don't know if I want it. Which sucks because I want kids and a family.

Blaine: I know, which is why you couldn't possibly be on Santa's Naughty List.

Blaine: Believe me, I'm very aware that you've seen firsthand what a disaster I can be, I get it. But that begs the question: do you WANT anything serious, or do you just think you're not built for it? Or like... don't deserve it?

[matt-schue]

Matt: Nick! Matt: watch Gremlins! I just finished that one earlier this morning when I woke up at the ass crack of dawn. My sleep schedule is fucked. Matt: I got another one for you... Batman Returns. Christmas movie? Matt: It's cool! I've spent a lot of late, quiet firehouse nights watching whatever comes on TV.

Nick: Wait, he was arguing that HOME ALONE isn't a Christmas movie? How?? That deserves blocking, tbh. I... haven't actually seen Gremlins, so I'll have to take your word for that.

Nick: I have not, no -- jeez, Schuester, you're making me feel like I'm both uneducated AND uncultured when it comes to holiday movies over here!

[matt-schue]

{ PRIVATE }

😮 I've been busssssssssssssssssssyyyyyyyyyyyy! ALSO!! Been waiting to watch it with you because we talked about it forever ago. I drive to New York early Tuesday afternoon but am free starting Sunday night. A new one will come out this Friday, so we have lots to watch. 😁

private messages 📲 matt & jaz

PRIVATE FROM MATT SCHUESTER:

You + Me and a whole new season of Silo! Whatdoyasay?????

{ PRIVATE }

I say WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKING LONG?! They're already on like episode 5 man!! But also yes. 100% yes. Just tell me when you have a shift off from the station, and I am totally down to binge what's already premiered. And then we can have a weekly watch party for the new episodes.

[matt-schue]

Matt: Okay, this one dude argued that with me! He said it wasn't one, even though the whole fucking movie takes place DURING Christmas! I blocked him. Who has time for that shit? Gremlins got the same treatment because it was supposedly released during the summer, but Phoebe Cates's character talked about how her dad got stuck in the chimney (which I think is an urban legends story I read years ago). Matt: Have you seen Violent Night? I showed that to my parents, who weren't exactly thrilled with the violence, but there's a whole Home Alone sequence in there that's hilariously brutal!

Nick: No one questions if Home Alone is a Christmas movie, and it’s basically all about one kid single handedly outmaneuvering a pair of seasoned criminals through ingenious (if far-fetched) methods. Die Hard is basically Home Alone for grownups, 🤷🏽‍♂️

[matt-schue]

Matt: Kick puppies?! I would NEVER! Matt: hahahah Okay, fine. You got me there. 🎵Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut🎵 you do make me all goofy and I want to spend any chance I can get talking to you. Figured you associate me with a shit time of your life, so I just kept it flirting with you instead of asking you out. However, I also chalk that up to feeling that I'm not meant for anything serious.

Blaine: You’re literally a first responder, Matt, that’s like automatic Nice List unless you actively kick puppies when you’re off duty. And you hit on EVERYONE, I’m pretty sure it’s like breathing at this point, 😋

[matt-schue]

Matt:

Matt: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

Nick: Multiple Christmas carols in its soundtrack. Ergo, Christmas movie.

Nick:

[matt-schue]

Matt: What makes you so sure of that, Blaine? To some people, I'm pretty naughty when I want to be 😏😉😘 Not that you ever let me because you always think I'm not serious whenever I hit on you Matt: Tis the season!

Blaine: Do you need a lesson in being charitable toward your fellow man? Because I’m reasonably sure you’re not the target demo in need of salvation from Santa’s naughty list, so you WOULDN’T be in line for a visit from Ol’ Saint Nick.

Blaine: Oh, of course, absolutely in the spirit of the season, 😜

[matt-schue]

Matt: See, I disagree with that. It's Christmas time for me this month but there's no Santa gallivanting around, no matter how hard I wish David Harbour's Santa will pay me a visit. Matt: I think Carl Winslow's heart did towards the end of the movie when he gunned Karl down!

Blaine: Sprinkled in references do not a central theme make, Schuester. Does John McClane defeat Hans Gruber with the spirit of Christmas? Does anyone’s heart grow three sizes that day?

[matt-schue]

Matt: He brought a gift for his kid, and many Christmas references are sprinkled throughout the movie. Plus, a Christmas party was in full swing when he got to the building. Matt: He did get back with his wife after a brief separation at the end of it. Soooooo, family togetherness!

Blaine: Is Santa a significant character? Is one of the central themes family togetherness, finding joy in traditions, or rediscovering the magic of the season?

[matt-schue]

Matt: IT IS DELILAH!

Delilah: At the risk of losing your friendship - no?

[matt-schue]

Text || Open

Matt: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Matt:

[matt-schue]

Matt, Stella, and Chris ft Will (their dad) as Dave sing this for Open Mic!

(@stellaschue @thatschuesterguy)

[matt-schue]

Hmm...

Since you changed can't to shouldn't now I'm a'wondering if you ever were tempted to step in during another attorney's spiel because you know you've got a better argument than them to help the defendant. The judge wouldn't know what hit 'em if you did that. It's the courtroom version of Never Let Them Know Your Next Move.

My jaw hit the fucking ground. You didn't know who that character?! He's from early Simpsons.

Fuck...I don't know. I would have to grit my teeth and hope I make it out alive. Bread butter got such a laugh out of me just now! Hahahaha, I will bust out a cucumber and tame the devil beast.

How am I not already nice to you???!!?!?!

Something like that, but it's not nearly as impressive as it sounds when you phrase it that way. I cannot -- or, well, I probably shouldn't, let's put it that way. I passed the bar and can practice law and represent clients in court, but that doesn't mean I have the specific expertise for ANY legal case. Like I said, I'm not an expert in criminal law, I'd be useless unless I had a few months to not sleep and study up on case precedent, and I wouldn't expect a client would trust me with limited experience. I had to google Lionel Hutz, and... I can't believe that's a law firm, Matt, *sigh*.

I don't have that problem with legal dramas at least, I just get irrationally angry at them sometimes. Now I'm curious to know what you'd do if a cat you rescued WAS the soul-sucking variety, though. What works for that? Garlic? Silver? Bread butter side up?

Not unless you're REALLY nice to me.

[matt-schue]

Matt: YESSSSSSSS THIS DEBATE! Matt: h o w Matt: ???? Matt: it's white and gold! Matt: the only way I could see blue and black was when I messed around with some image settings. Matt: Have a random Matt!thought... Why is it that a majority of Santa movies have the guy visit one house and then he fucks off to another city or country instead of going next door? I thiiiiiink The Santa Clause might've been the only one where he went next door. Probably because he was a newb. Matt: was everyone shit in that one neighborhood or something? Coal for all! Or he just send Krampus over to take care of the rest.

Olivia: This damn debate. Olivia: I swear you just body slammed me into a time machine lol. Olivia: It's blue and black, man. But feel free to bug me whenever lol.

[matt-schue]

Matt: Last time? hahahaha C'mon, Chris. You'll say it at least another 404040404333330 times before end of year! How about the 3 of us put something together for them? Stells can stand by with wine in hand and eat cheese. Better yet! How you feel about putting a sharuterie board together, Stellers? Matt: What kinda frame are we talking about because we deserve better than some boring ass wooden frame or something you can pick up at some store. Matt: I'll take that pamphlet since Stella doesn't speak for the both of us! Matt: Oh dude.... Matt: when is this happening?? I NEED to record it. I'll wear a disguise so Mads doesn't recognize me. I have mine if you want to borrow them. Matt: BTW Thanks for yesterday! Can't believe I'm finally 22!! Matt: 🤫🤣

Stella: I hosted Thanksgiving, I will graciously allow you to host Mom and Dad for Christmas, Matty. Let me know if you need a hand deep-cleaning the guest bathroom. Also Andre is my favorite nephew, how dare you ask him to share his space??

Stella: All that hard work and you DON’T want to see the look on Mom’s face when she sees those photos? I’m taking video, it’s going viral on the Tik and also Tok.

Stella: …Please give us absolutely ZERO DETAILS Chrissy, I want to be able to look Madeline in the eye without wanting to gouge mine out please and thank you. (But also THE TEA 👀😫)

[matt-schue]

🎂🎈🥳Happy Birthday 🥳🎈🎂

Happy Birthday. little bro. I had no idea what to get you and then I saw this... so TADA!!! Have a great day!

@matt-schue

[matt-schue]

matthew john reginald maleficent russell astrid cornelius the 3rd schuester🥳🎂🎉

Share the wealth, that's what I always say. (I'm a generous person, I know.)

STILL younger and cuter,

~ Stells ⭐

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