matt-schue

[matt-schue]

Jaknowit! But I get it if you can't go every week because there will be certain days I won't make it out because of work. I highly doubt I'll regret this because it's all about cutting loose and enjoying yourself. Watch you be a natural.

Oh good GOD, are we talking about a weekly thing? What have I gotten myself into?? But no, no, I am a man of my word, I'm still in. You may come to regret this suggestion if it turns out I'm totally shit at improv though, fair warning.

[matt-schue]

Muppet? LIke of the Jim Henson variety?! So far you and a couple people I talk to online.

What about The Great British Bake Off? That looks like it's pretty different from the other shows. I'm tempted to try out for one of those shows. I know how to cook but I'm sooooooooo not on a professional level. I learned during my years at various stations.

The very one.

You wouldn't be a clueless asshole, you muppet. Also, how many people speak in 'British' to you?

I have thought about it, but it's not for me. I like my quiet, slow life. If I do that, I'm apt to have a cooking show out of it and I'd rather not. Thank you though, love. I appreciate the kind words.

I'll pack it up first thing tomorrow so you can pop by whenever you want during the week !

What, like the woman from Game of Thrones?

[matt-schue]

Matt: I have someone at the station that does that now Matt: B Matt: U Matt: T Matt: I like the idea of someone unaffiliated with the station to shoot these videos because you can let me know if I need to tweak the script because I'm using too much firefighter jargon that civies wouldn't know Matt: Good girl Matt: Last thing people need is someone drops a turkey in and then there's a hot-oil shower raining down on everyone. That happened a couple years ago. It was no bueno. Matt: Oooooooo! Which friend is Sam bringing? This a friend friend or a friend friend?

Stacey: If you ever need help with the videos, let me know! I can hold the phone/camera while you guys do what you need. Stacey: SIR YES SIR!!! Stacey: In all seriousness though, I'll make sure if I'm around anyone doing it that they're safe. Stacey: Yeah Lottie said that she's gonna host it and then Sam is gonna pop over and help out - I guess he's bringing a friend too!

[matt-schue]

[Private] It's comfortable there! If it's not there then it's on movies/shows/music. Mostly 80s and 90s. Well now. That highly depends on the kind of meal! If you got an excellent filet mignon or lobster tail, fuck even brisket or ribs, the kind where you want to go the kitchen and make out with the chef and or pitmaster, that's interesting. Because I want to go there!

Your mind is perpetually in the gutter, isn't it? That's not a judgment, by the way, just an observation. And before your curiosity sets off on a wild tangent -- I don't remember, but it probably wasn't nearly as interesting as whatever you're imagining.

[matt-schue]

Matt: It's not my goal to become one buuuuuuut my goal is obtain high view and repost numbers to spread fire safety awareness. I do a funny take on it. Hell, I'm in the process of creating an intentionally cheesy ass 80s style infomercial-esque video about different fire safety products like the fire blankets, Halguard extinguishes (no residue), EZFire Spray (doesn't require pulling out a pin to use) and other various other items. Matt: IF someone decides to, just make sure the bird's completely thawed. Not even a little frozen. COMPLETELY thawed. Don't overfill the pot with oil and lower it slowly. And for the love of God, do this outside away from anything flammable. No garages. Feel free to toss that at anyone who decides they want to deep fry. Matt: Did you get word back about turkey plans??

Stacey: There are a lot of options - you're right. Can you imagine being an influencer these days!?!?!? OOF. Stacey: They're different types!? The ones I watch cut off when fire peeps show up, but no water was used so far! I don't think Lottie wants to deep fry the bird, but that's very kind Matt - thank you!!! I'll bring you a shake as a way to say that you're the bestest. Stacey: That we will!

[matt-schue]

Matt: If anyone comes around trying to police me about Grammar, Fashion, Etiquitte, whathaveyou, I'll tell them to dress the part and slap cuffs on me. Might as well have some roleplay fun while we're at it 😉 Matt: It's not like I'm keeping that elf in there by force! They're free to go! They can live out their life doing elfy stuff. Which...I actually don't know what it is because I don't think it's like a Keebler Elf. Or Legolas...not even Santa's workshop buddies. What the hell does a phone elf do for fun?? Matt: I've got classic middle child syndrome so I know all about being an attention whore. HOW-EV-ER I would never compete with Max. He's too damn precious. Matt: MHMMMMMMMMM

Nick: Hey, anything done with confidence is automatically three times more valid. Who's gonna call you on it, anyway? The grammar police? Protip, make sure they have a warrant.

Nick: The elf in your phone is probably on strike at this point, so maybe you should be open to negotiating a new contract. Reasonable compensation for high stress environment, if I had to guess.

Nick: If it gets him ear scratches and lots of attention, he's probably into it. Max is more of an attention whore than ME, and that's saying something.

Nick: Do you, Matt? Do you REALLY? 🤭

[matt-schue]

Matt: Then you gotta throw in FX for the hell of it! hahaha But that trick about action does help a lot. Now I can go around confidentially using the word like a grammar champ! (watch me still use it wrong. But with confidence! 😂😂) Matt: If there's an elf in this phone then I owe it an apology basket for all the long-winded texts riddled with copious amounts of typos! My bad, lil elf. Will I stop? Nah, but at least I got that apology out. I type too fast on this fucker to fuss around with fixing most of my typos and grammatical errors. THOUGH I've seen Grammarly ads. Matt: AS HE SHOULD BE! I want to get him a Christmas outfit. Is he more an elf, reindeer, Santa, Krampus? Matt: well, well, well. I see you, Nick Hands On Duval. I. See. You. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀😏

Nick: HA. Affect is the Action, if it helps at all. You're on your own with spellcheck though, sometimes the little elf in your phone is just pissed off for no good reason.

Nick: I can't even argue with that, he's clearly good for the attention.

Nick: Whatever heavy lifting you need -- or not-so-heavy lifting, manual dexterity IS one of those talents, most of the time. (Something else for your back pocket, 🤐)

[matt-schue]

Matt: Hmmmmmm Matt: hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Matt: hmmmmmmmaybe we stick with the boring and just call them TikToks. Especially when you've got YouTube, Instagram Stories, Facebook Reels (I think???) and whatever else is out there. THERE'S TOO MANY!!! Matt: Sand works, but that's more for a small grease fire like a pan or pot on a stove. Matt: We use a dry chemical extinguisher (Type B) to tackle those nasty fires. Those are for grease fires. If there's a lid, we smother the rest of the flame by putting it in place. Hope in those vids they were dilgent with the never ever ever ever ever ever ever use water to put out a grease fire. I'm getting you and your family fire extinguishers and fire blankets as a precaution, even if you don't plan to deep fry a turkey. Expect it tomorrow! Matt: The whole station's cooking leading up to Thursday. We're competing to see who makes the best side dish. We already have a place lined up for ham and one of the guys has a smoker so he's on turkey duty. Matt: I know the Evans will have a grand ol' time, too!

Stacey: TokTiks don't have the same ring to it - back the drawing board, Sparky! Stacey: I've seen those videos on youtube at 3am and while they're funny from the other side of the screen, I bet it's scary in person. Do you just toss a bunch of sand on them? RIP sandy bird. Stacey: Just working, but I'm on break from Uni right now which is NOICE. OH and I'm gonna volunteer at this soup kitchen on Thursday, so there's that. You cooking for the guys on Wed? Stacey: That sounds like a blaaaaaaaaaaaaast LOL I wont crash the shue-sib turkey day even if it sounds like fun.

[matt-schue]

hahhahahah lies, Del! You'll guide me with your wisdom. Or at least make it so I'm not a total clueless asshole when someone speaks British to me.

Have you ever considered competing in one of those baking shows? You're beautiful, funny, and make some awesome treats. If you can do all that under strict time constraints and immense pressure from being on camera, you have this in the bag!

Let me know when it's ready to go, and I'll swing by.

GOOD! You should have a shame bell next to the register. Ring it loud.

I'm no Obi Wan, Matt. I most likely will let you down.

Maybe not every week, but once a month I could bring some things by. I do, yeah. Some of it comes pre-frozen, but most of it is handmade. I've got some really amazing colleagues who help keep the machine that is that place running so I can bake to my hearts content.

It is!!! There's a gift wrapped box by the cash register - it's not as full as I'd like, but I'm probably going to put some books in there and expense it.

I did! I can't just banish people, but I can say there's to be absolutely no peppermint oat nog being had at my store.

[matt-schue]

I don't know much about veils, but I know the 5th of November because of Guy Fawkes Day. Wait, aren't veils what makes it easier for the spirits to slip into our world? Trying to remember where I heard that.... OH Behind the veil! That's the expression, but I still don't know where I heard it.

There are rage rooms; there really needs to be a scream room. Though an empty field is helpful. Just have to hope someone doesn't think you're being murdered. That would be super awkward.

Technically, I was counting down til about the 5th, when the veil stopped being as thin. Did not stop the urge to scream and I eventually found someplace where it felt acceptable.

[matt-schue]

Are you saying the world's full of mindless zombies ala John Carpenter's They Live calibre??

How many hours you plug away at that bar?

Because most people only want them when they're looking for them. We exist in a society that doesn't like thinking, Matt.

Work, mostly.

[matt-schue]

Matt: Lottie, what happened to us?! I read some posts about how we, as kids, used to have fresh-out-of-the-box knees when we jumped out of swings. But hell, the same went for playing sports in general. I play football occasionally, and my bruised self is battered in a hot tub to ease the aches. At least my workout hasn't suffered too much; I just don't do it daily like I used to. Matt: Whoaaaaaaaa! I'm not judging! I love me some Lucy. I didn't get into the comedy hour one they had, think she was solo during that show. But the one with Ricky, Fred, and Ethel and all the crazy hijinx they got into? It makes for some swell TV watching. Gilligan's Island is another old one I watched a ton. Matt: Remember that Gushers' commercial where their heads turned to fruit? Or the Quiznos one with whateverthefuckthatthingwas!?!?!? Matt: Jesus. Was it just you taking care of the family around that time? Knowing how Sam and Stacey are I can imagine they pulled their fair weight when needed, once older, right because that's way too much stress for just one kid to deal with. I say kid even though you were a teen at the time but you get what I mean. Matt: Yeah...fuck that guy. What would you do if he tried to resurface in your lives? Matt: Well, since he robbed your childhood, how about we go play laser tag or bowling or even get a bunch of people together and have a giant ass water balloon fight at the park (when it's warmer)? Matt: hahahahah if their was a HP channel they probably would make that happen. Matt: He's excellent in that show but he's great in everything he's in. I love that dude.

Lottie: I feel you. I stood up too fast the other day and both my fucking knees cracked. It was like a Rice Krispies commercial man. It's not fair. My body is betraying me, Matthew!!! Lottie: Those Leo-pointing moments are some of the best moments, so I can't blame you lol. I fell asleep watching old I Love Lucy reruns the other night (don't you dare judge me), and I woke up to "fresh goes better" and instantly just started sleepily going "with mentos fresh and full of life" before I realized what I was doing. Those commercials we couldn't fast forward through or avoid are just engrained in my brain now lol. Lottie: Tbh, I'm glad he's gone. Sorta. Not really. We were fighting a *lot* before he left anyway, and it wasn't helping anything. I was probably 12-13 when I first started working, but it was primarily usual kid stuff. Babysitting, lawn mowing, collecting plastics and stuff. I was 15 I think when I got my first genuine job; they paid me under the table, and I was working a few shifts a week as a waitress. Then he left, and I sort of threw myself into doing whatever I had to in order to put food on the table. I still graduated with top grades, but there were definitely more than a few classes skipped to take extra shifts or extra jobs wherever I could. Lottie: But yes, I feel like his leaving robbed me of a semi-normal childhood. I can't blame him for the accident, but I can sure as hell blame him for abandoning us. We all had to grow up a lot faster because of that. Lottie: Ooh, yes. I will 100% take that. Give me the ability age 1 second in a year; slow aging down that much, and I'll live forever. Ish. Lottie: NGL, I read that as "I watched Only Marauders in the Building" initially, and now I need that sitcom... Lottie: But no, I haven't seen it yet. I've been putting it off a bit, but I've heard good things about it. I didn't know Paul was in it, so now I *have* to check it out. Obviously.

[matt-schue]

I'd still push for the electric bill because that shit ain't cheap! Especially now with the cold weather kicking in. And babies are pretty chill with anything you give them as long as it's not a choking hazard or pokes their eye out. You can even let it play like a cat in an empty cardboard box.

Why is being an adult at Christmastime so weird? My mom asked me what I want the other day and it's like... can you pay my electric bill for a month? And then she still managed to slip in the whole 'well when you have a baby it'll be easier to buy for you.'

[matt-schue]

Get ready @thatschuesterguy and @stellaschue 😁🦃

[matt-schue]

Sure you can. I beleaf in you, Delilah. You're my only hope.

Well, are you sure you want that? We'll keep you busy all the time! Do you bake your own treats for the cafe at your store? Also, is your store taking part in toy donations this year? We're setting up a box at the station, and we can swing by your place on our way to drop off the unwrapped toys for the kids in need.

Did you see what Lenny posted about that monstrosity of nog and peppermint?! Pleeeeeeeeeease tell me your coffee shop will banish anyone who orders that nastiness.

Well now, I can't teach you everything. If I taught you everything, then there'd be no fun left for me!

You're welcome! If you and the rest of the team over there want some sweets, just let me know.

Things are busy, definitely amping up with the Holidays. I like it though! How is it at the station?

[matt-schue]

Who do you picture playing the role other than AE? Don't you hate that? There are these movies you like, and then some actor fucking ruins it. Feel by the time we're old and gray 90% of what we love will be tarnished by shit behavior. Going back to the movie, in what world is it okay for a teacher to lay hands on any student!?! Surprised that the teacher didn't get fired in the remake. The 70s one was a whole other world, and shit was wild back then. Did you know that Travolta was in the original?

Well, I don't remember the original as well because I kind of prefer the remake - you know minus the POS that plays Tommy. I try to imagine a better actor in that role when I watch it, but anyway. I'd say the gym teacher wasn't shitty, I mean the slap in the face was uncalled for, but she wasn't a shit person in general to Carrie. Tommy actually wasn't a bad guy, so RIP to him and Sue had also redeemed herself in the end. Otherwise, yeah the rest of them who got their karma in the end deserved it. Especially that bitch Chris and her dickhead boyfriend Billy.

[matt-schue]

Matt: Dear God, please don't. I like to think I got a handle on affect and effect but it continues to trip me up. Google knows my insecure ass is heading it's way when I gotta make sure I'm using the right one. Same goes for certain word spellings. It's when I butcher a word so hard that spellcheck doesn't know wtf I'm typing. Matt: Of course Max is. When/If I ever get a pooch I hope people spoil it rotten. It's a must. Matt: ha! Good to know. In this case Thanksgiving but I'll keep the latter bit of what you shared in my back pocket for later 😉😏

Nick: I have no teaching experience beyond some student tutoring in college to qualify me for handing out grades, but sure, why not, A for effort. Don't make me quiz you on affect vs. effect though. Or por vs. para.

Nick: My ass sure thinks so. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Nick: Somehow I think Max is still getting the sweet end of this deal, 😂

Nick: For Thanksgiving community service, or in general? Me and my hands are multi-talented, Schuester.