#strikethrough is private between them

[matt-schue]

I went ahead and spilled the beans. Didn't mention your name, but if she figures out it's someone here in BC, then she'll put two and two together. Which is cool. I just don't want word to get around because it can seriously fuck with my career.

HOW WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!?!?!?!

I like to think so too, and you mean a lot to me too, Matt. You can tell her, she knows i've done OF, but if you wanna hide that part of your life then by all means - up to you.

Thank you.

[samevans-wmu]

I owe you a birthday gift of your choosing, dirty or otherwise Sammy. <3 Happy birthday.

The same for you! Was gonna offer giving you that private show you mentioned. I think seeing your reaction to it can be your gift to me.

[samevans-wmu]

So I gotta know, tied up or doing the tying? Because I know what I'd pick for you.

Well… I used to be an Eagle Scout some years back so I’m pretty handy with rope.

To answer your question I think I’ll like both? Never tied anyone up and never been tied. So, since I’ve never given it a shot I don’t know which to go with.

Thinking about tying me up for your birthday?

[letteredlettered]

Related to your last post: For me tumblr would work better as a community site if there was a function that would hide reblogs of the same posts. I get overwhelmed if I follow more than ten people in the same fandom because of the repeating posts. With work and everything else, I don't have the hours to find the original things people are saying. Reddit works better sometimes except the subreddits often have very surface level discussions with high amount of newcomers asking the same questions and the topics are quite limited. Maybe I should just try if there is life on Dreamwidth :P

This ask is a response to this post I made about feedback to fic and fandom community.

Anon, I agree 100% regarding the difficulties of tumblr for discussion that builds community. If you're following this discussion, than you may have already seen these follow-ups:

@eleadore added their thoughts about preserving reader spaces in a reblog here

@yiiiiiiiikes25 added thoughts similar to yours re tumblr's poor functionality as a community space here

@thehoneybeet added to the post that sparked my post here, about how to foster the kind of community we're all saying we want.

I'm linking these posts because I want to call attention to them; I think they're great. But I'm linking them in response to you specifically because yes there are multiple vectors to this problem--the web enshittification I described in my post, the splintering of fandom after the death of livejournal, and the difficulty of tumblr as a venue.

But it's that last, the difficulty of tumblr as a venue, that means that even like-minded people who want the community we're discussing can't really have it. Some went to, and are still on, dreamwidth. Frankly, I still find myself deeply irritated that fandom didn't move there, that it accepted AO3 and not DW. But I think a large factor in that particular exodus actually has to do with the fact that AO3 is closer to the direction the enshittified web went than DW ever could be. AO3 has a "like" button and is not built for deep, meaningful interaction. Again, this is because it was meant to be a limb of the fandom community, not replace community entirely. I'm not claiming that AO3 is enshittified but rather that it bears more similarity to current social media sites because it's only one part of a community that was at the time, thriving (yes, in spite of strikethrough and everything that was happening on LJ at the time).

In my opinion, tumblr straddles the divide between that old style of community website and the new one. Like livejournal and DW, you can view tumblr chronologically, without an algorithm feeding you content. You can remain anonymous, and everyone can see anything you post. But like other more modern social media sites, you can reblog and like, which you couldn't do on LJ and DW. The fact that tumblr is sort of both--and that it wasn't sold to the Russians and torn apart, like LJ--is why fandom fled here and why scattered pieces of it remain here, despite so many others moving on.

One thing I wanted to talk about in my original post, but couldn't find a place for, was how so much of the "community" aspects of fandom are now private. I think that's happened partly because tumblr isn't a great place to hold a conversation, so the conversation quickly gets moved elsewhere--but instead of somewhere where everyone is still welcome (ahem, like Dreamwidth), it gets moved to private spaces. Or the conversation never starts and exists only in the kinds of spaces meant for such things.

@thehoneybeet makes great points about this in the post I linked above. They mention "the invite-only server, the private ao3 challenge, groups and experiences that you need to be in-the-know about to even begin to participate in. that, essentially, require an invitation."

@eleadore mentions it at the beginning of their reblog (also linked above), saying, "i feel discussions of this nature have been severely crippled over the yrs, and people prefer to take to private group chats and such instead of engaging [...]" But they go on to mention "private discord book club servers."

To be clear, I'm 100% with @eleadore about the necessity for spaces for readers, and also 100% with them at the idea that there can be spaces authors don't have to touch. Writers don't "deserve" to hear every single thing anyone's ever said about their fic, positive or negative. Earlier this year I in fact made an impassioned post about the fact that I believe that bookmarks are for readers, not writers, and that making them a space purely for an author's comfort limits the functionality of bookmarks for readers, both in terms of finding fic but also in terms of finding friends.

So, yes, I agree that it's okay to have private discord book club servers. But the mention of discord did make me do a double-take, because in my opinion, discord is a huge part of what I perceive as the problem. You can't find a discord for your chosen fandom by searching discord. You have to have the link. Even if the discord isn't invite-only--which many of them are, you can usually only get the link by knowing someone.

There are all kinds of reasons for why discord is so private. Discords are run by mods, who feel responsible for what happens to people in spaces for which they are responsible. And mods who take a laissez-faire "everyone just do what they want" approach often have servers dominated by people who make the environment difficult, sometimes through racism, sometimes through bullying, sometimes by constantly bringing up traumatic or triggering content, sometimes just by making everything about them all the time. It's not like lj or even tumblr, where you can just unfollow. You're kind of stuck, unless you've got a mod who is policing vigorously, which is a huge job and impossible to do in ways that will make everyone happy. It's just easier if you don't have anyone and everyone wandering through.

I hate that. It makes me want to throw things. To me, fandom is about a space that's for anyone and everyone. You shouldn't have to know someone to get to have discussions about the thing you love. That's not why I'm here. In fact, in some ways I'm in fandom to get away from that kind of bullshit, so I don't have to construct some kind of social persona that is palatable enough to be accepted. I'm hear to talk about blorbos and read porn, maybe write a thing or two. A private discord book club made intentionally as a safe space for readers is a great use for discord. But discord as a place for fandom actually makes me feel a little ill.

I don't have a good suggestion of where fandom community should be built. To me, the best place is dreamwidth, and I think that after fifteen years, I really need to give up on the idea that enough people will move there (in this economy????) to really get the numbers you need to be able to find the people with whom you really click and connect. When tumblr tried to ban nudes, a lot of people talked up other possibilities--and some people went, to Mastadon, to pillowfort, even to twitter and IG. But those spaces all have their downsides, and none of them have the critical mass to be a real fandom home. As before, I have no conclusions about this. I just wanted to highlight some other aspects of this problem and describe some other food for thought.

[samevans-wmu]

Thanks for looking after me by the way.

Hey man, that's what buds are for! How's your face holding up? Fist?

That fight looked intense between you guys. This isn't me fishing for details about the reason behind the fight. But...are you okay?

[benjikarofsky]

Continued from here.

I love having a man that’ll cook for me nowadays. So, so sexy.

But no. I need it frozen. Please?

@southsidefranco

[matt-schue]

PAST YOUR PRIME!? Hey!! I'm a year older than you and I don't feel anywhere near past my prime?

Do my knees ache at times? Sure.

If I sneeze wrong does my back want to die? Sometimes....

Can I tell a storm's coming because my right knee throbs a little........?

Okay. Fine. But I don't feel it mentally!

Will love any and all kind of help! You gonna dress up? I WANT to go as Sarah from Hocus Pocus but I'll sweat like a pig underneath that costume.

Exactamundo! Throw a whole bottle in there, and you're set!

See, that's the thing, I really don't. I never did a slip-n-slide as a kid, and I feel like any grace I might've had on one would've been back then, so I'm past my prime by now. That sounds doable, I can even be free to help you set up if you need a hand?

That's what Stanleys were made for, right?

[lokifantasies]

The Trial PART 1

Summary: The long awaited trial against Evan Nichols has started, and the foundation of the case against him has been laid out.

WARNING: GRAPHIC TORTURE AND SEXUAL ABUSE EXPLAINED.

Character(s): Loki, Thor, Jade, & Evan

Read the Mischievous Life series here!

Follow Jade, Loki, and Reader!

Join the Discord here!

Taglist! (click here to join a taglist!)

Strikethrough means I can’t tag you for some reason.

@1marvelnerd3000 @agentkinghorn @angeldarkness95 @arypesanchez @chaotic-neutral-queen @donttouchmylaevateinn @emerald-alone @eyesbluelikethetitanic @fa-me @ferriswheel97 @geeky-politics-46 @holdmytesseract @iris-shihabi @itsybitchylittlewitchy @jeongadelarinia @lokistoriesblog @lougy @melianisnothere @mqrvelbvnch @mm2305 @mortallythoughtfulgurl @nms224 @prettysbliss @shraddhadeveshvikram @xoxoloverb @you-will-find-peace-someday

The trial is here. It's the day that your family has been waiting for since this whole nightmare started. Unfortunately, Loki and Jade are both adamant that you remain on bed rest for the sake of the growing baby, and you ultimately end up losing the argument when you try to force them to let you come. Loki assures you that he'll be by her side for the both of you – supporting her the entire time.

In the back of your mind, you know the stress of hearing and seeing the evidence would be too much for you, and no one wants to see anything happen to your baby. Thankfully, Thor also appears to support his niece and brother – sitting on Jade's right as Loki sits on her left.

"I don't wanna see him," Jade mutters – looking down to the floor when Evan walks into the courtroom with his parents.

The teenager looks like he's injured – his leg has a slight limp, and his eye is swollen and dark. However, the seventeen-year-old has a smug smile on his face – his ego being stroked when he sees the television cameras on him. He takes his seat in between his lawyers, and they group together to discuss something quietly. Loki, Thor, and Jade try their hardest to hear what they're saying, but they're speaking far too quietly.

"I don't understand how he could have a defense," Thor says to you and Loki. "How can anyone deny that he did what he did?"

You shrug. "I don't know, Uncle Thor. I just want this to be over with."

The prosecution begins their opening statement by laying out all the facts of the case and making it clear what Evan Nichols is being tried for. His charges are as follows:

- 1st degree aggravated kidnapping

- 1st degree sexual assault (with forcible penetration)

- 1st degree sodomy

- Conspiracy to commit a kidnapping

- Conspiracy to commit a felony

- Felony stalking

- Harassment

- Attempted murder

- False imprisonment

- Assault with a deadly weapon

The first few witnesses to testify are the first responders who saved Jade from the small space she was being held in.

"Could you please state your name for the court and how you became involved in this case?" the prosecutor, Mr. Jeff Bards, began to question the officer.

"Brian David Wilson. I'm an NYPD SWAT officer who responded to the 911 call to 4892 E Graves Road," the witness explains.

"What happened upon arriving at the address?"

The officer took a deep breath before speaking. "We, the SWAT team, forced our way inside the house, and we started searching. I began to hear some muffled pleas for help, and when I followed them, I came across the fake wall in the home's basement. After removing the fake wall, I discovered that there was a small crawl-space type room."

"Can you confirm what the photo on the screen is?" Mr. Bards asks – a photo of the tiny, dark space where Jade had been held showing up on the screen.

"Yes, that is the crawl-space," he confirms

"And where was Ms. Lokisdottir located?"

"She was located in the back corner of the crawl space. She came out from hiding when she saw me, and I pulled her out of the space," officer Wilson stops to take a deep breath and gather his thoughts – trying to push his feeling aside. "Afterward, I carried her out of the house and to the ambulance that was waiting outside."

There's silence as the officer exits the witness stand – looking towards Jade and Loki as he goes to take his seat in the rows. The other officers testify – stating similar things to what the first one did. Then, everyone hears the fateful words.

"The prosecution calls Jade Pandora Lokisdottir to the stand, please."

Loki and Thor wrap their arms around the shaking sixteen-year-old – remind her that they're right there, and if she needs to, just look at them and they'll help her.

"You can do this, my love," Loki says softly. "Just pretend you're having a conversation."

"Okay," Jade nervously breathes out.

Thor hugs his niece close before she stands up. "You are so strong, Jade...just like your parents. You got this."

Jade exhales and nods – trying to walk up to the witness stand without falling. On the way, she refuses to look at the defense's side of the courtroom – disgusted as to how anyone could defend Evan.

Oh well, everyone has a right to a defense.

For a moment, Jade looks towards Evan. A smirk appears on her face when she sees his injuries – wondering who she needs to thank for the revenge. Before Jade turns her attention away, Evan takes the chance to blow a kiss towards her – excited to watch the goddess relive the nightmare he put her through.

"Could you please state your name for the court?" the prosecutor asks – looking directly at Jade.

"Um," Jade's voice is soft against the microphone. "Jade...Pandora Lokis-Lokisdottir."

"And can you tell the court how you came to know the defendant?"

Jade takes a deep breath and exhales – looking towards Loki and Thor for support. "Ye-yes. Um, we met at the mall when my parents took me shopping before the school year started. That weekend, we went out on a date, and then we started dating."

"Were you and the defendant ever sexual?

"Not...really," Jade answers. "Um, we only ever had oral sex, but that's it. I wa-wasn't comfortable with ever going any further than that."

"So, there was never any consensual sexual intercourse?"

"No."

"How long were you and the defendant dating?"

"Four months."

"During that time, did the defendant act inappropriately towards you in any sort of way?"

Jade exhales. "Yes. The last night we hung out together, he tried to force himself on me, but he ran away and drove off when I yelled for my dad."

"Ms. Lokisdottir, can you walks us through the day of September 3rd?"

Jade shakes her head and exhales nervously – looking towards Loki and Thor for their support. This is the first time she's ever spoken about what happened to her, and hopefully, it'll be the last.

"I was...at school, and Evan told me he wanted to speak with me privately, so I followed him out into the parking lot to smoke marijuana and talk in his car. When we got to his car, though, he locked the doors, and he took off from the parking lot." Jade swallows hard before continuing. "Um...I begged for him to stop and turn around – just let me go back to school, and I wouldn't tell anyone. But he didn't. He kept driving – pulling a knife from under his driver's seat and holding it to my throat. I tried to do as he said – hoping that he'd let me go, but he never calmed down. When we arrived at his house, no one was home. H-he led me into the basement and pulled a dresser away from the wall. It was a secret room behind the wall, and he made me...uh...he made me take all of my clothes off, so I was completely nude. He put a collar around my neck, and he connected it to a bolt in the floor so that I couldn't move much. He left for, I guess a couple hours, and he left me in the dark room. I remember how cold it was. It was freezing...especially since I didn't have any clothes. When he came back, he started to...do things."

"Could you explain what things were done to you by the defendant?"

Jade's eyes begin to tear up – her breathing becoming staggered as she thinks about how to word the horrific abuse she had been put through. The looks of support from Loki and Thor, however, give her a strength that she didn't know she had.

"There was...a metal bar," Jade begins quietly – biting her bottom lip to keep her thoughts going. "He had a long lighter with him, and he started to heat the bar up. He was laughing when he pressed the hot metal to my thigh – smiling at me while I screamed in pain as my skin started to burn. There's still a burn scar on my left thigh. When the bar finally cooled down, he threw it to the side. He grabbed me by the chain leash and forced me down to my knees. With his other hand, he...took his penis out of his pants and pried by mouth open. He grabbed the back of my head and used my mouth to get himself off. No matter how much I cried, and begged, and pleaded, he didn't stop. He found it entertaining. It turned him on." Jade looks out to see Loki and Thor becoming angrier by the second, but they're trying their best to remain calm for Jade's sake – knowing that they need to be her support. "After he was...finished, he uh, forced me to lie on the dirty floor. I tried to keep my legs closed, but he punched me in the face, which caused me to jump. Before I could try to close my legs again, Evan had them spread, and he began to...force his mouth...on me. I felt his teeth bite me, and I knew I was bleeding, but it seemed to turn him on even more. H-h-he reached over and grabbed the metal rod again, and h...I'm sorry...can I just...a moment?"

"Take your time," the prosecutor assures Jade – maintaining a professional composure.

Jade exhales deeply – closing her eyes and trying to gather her courage to continue.

"H-he began to use the metal rod to...assault me. He shoved it inside me – giving me cuts and bruises. I was bleeding, but he continued to thrust it in and out of me until he was satisfied. I thought he would finally be done, and I thought he'd take me home, but then I felt him begin to...insert himself...his...penis...into me. I tried to kick him off, but he held my legs as tight as he could to stop me from moving. It...I'm pretty sure he was trying to cause me pain. Finally, I stopped fighting – wanting him to just hurry up and let me go. I tried to stop crying because I didn't want him to be anymore satisfied with himself, but when I felt his fingers start to go into...the other side, I started fighting again. He pulled me up by the chain, and he forced me to look into his eyes. I remember he said that I was now his slut, and he was going to break me until I learned to love it. After a couple of minutes...he...ejaculated into me, which later resulted in a pregnancy. Evan was still wanting more though, so he turned me over and held my face to the floor as he entered my backside. Again, ignoring my cries and screams for him to stop. I lost track of how many times he did this...I think I may have blacked out or something, or maybe my brain made me forget in order to protect me from the memory, but the next thing I remember was being alone, redressed, and I heard the police officers calling out for me."

"Thank you, Ms. Lokisdottir," the prosecutor says with a proud smile.

[notbecauseofvictories]

oh I'm interested in the tag novel on how fan spaces becoming more meat spacey benefits the producers!! also happy Halloween! 🖤🧡🖤🧡

It’s not a particularly academic argument---I don’t have sources to back this up, I haven’t done research. I’m also wary of painting a picture of “fandom” as anything more than a lot of weasels in a trenchcoat, because that word means a lot of things to a lot of different people, some of whom hate each other. But as long as everybody understands that this is the ethnographical equivalent of drunkenly throwing darts at a copy of the AJS...sure.

[under a cut because it’s long and baseless, and also I had a lot of thoughts and feelings. Sorry.]

My basic premise is that fandom occupies “fanspace.” Fanspace is not solely online, since fanzines and conventions are fanspace too, but since the 90s it has become increasingly and primarily internet based. While some websites are designated fanspace (e.g., AO3, ff.net, stand-alone fansites) fanspace is not necessarily contiguous with a hosting site (e.g., there is fanspace on tumblr, but tumblr is not a fanspace). Fanspace is really just those urls, message boards, threads, blogs, accounts, etc. designated for fandom and/or where fannish activity takes place.

Its deeply-rooted internet presence has allowed fanspace and what I call “meatspace” to operate on different rules. Meatspace has always informed fan spaces, of course---disclaimers on fic to ward off accusations of copyright infringement, for example, or asking readers to attest that they’re over 13 before reading an R-rated fic. But traditionally, fandom has accepted as norm things that don’t apply to meatspace: fake names and anonymous posts, pictures of someone else’s characters, lengthy self-published stories featuring violence, explicit sex, sometimes even gay people. Fanspace is in many ways an artificial carve out from meatspace, where fewer of its rules apply; fanspace supplements these with its own norms.

The division between fanspace and meatspace is not and has never been a clear, settled line, however. Debates on how much meatspace should inform fan spaces have been raging for as long as I’ve been on the internet, and to be fair to meatspace, it has made good points. (I’m not sure if “don’t be racist,” counts as a meatspace rule given...racism, but fandom frequently reacts to it like a meatspace intrusion so I think it should count.)

However, what used to be intra-fandom conversations have become increasingly more public, for a few reasons:

Part of this is just the natural development of the internet---it’s not like fanspace was ever hidden, but there just weren’t as many people online, and stuff was harder to find in a pre-google, pre-algorithmic promotion world.

Part of it is the changing architecture of fanspace---websites shutting down, Strikethrough, and the tumblr porn ban have all, in their own ways, served to alter fanspace and move towards more and more public-facing sites.

But part of it---and this is the biggest factor, I think---is that over the last two decades, we’ve seen content-producers** increasingly willing to engage with fandom. 

On its face, this sounds good! After all, fans like people who make things, people who make things want fans. What could possibly be wrong about both sides recognizing their mutualism?

I think this works when the most interaction you could expect with a creator was showing up a bookstore to ask Tamora Pierce a question, or writing fanmail to Paul Gross. But it falls apart when you consider just how public-facing fanspaces have become, and just how much interest content-producers have taken in cultivating the fannish audience. Content-producers engaging directly with fandom are a thumb on the scales of mutualism, and a heavy one. After all, one side of the relationship is a loosely collected anarchic cult, migrating along a series of websites they mostly don’t control, making do with nothing but ongoing wank and general obsessive tendencies. 

The other side has D*sney, Harper Collins, and Comcast.

That thumb on the scale has paid off, more than I think even the content-producers could have anticipated. Fandom is good at loving what it loves and talking loudly about it, but capitalism is way better at doing what it does---turning everything into profit. So now people pay $100 a pop to go to Harry Potter World. Conventions are well-produced extensions of their parent companies, raking in money and providing a blitz of publicity---directly to the source most likely to take your messaging and amplify it. Make a superhero movie and the minute the trailer drops you conjure up thousands of online fans will be your de facto, unpaid publicists---generating interest via fan art, fic, and controversy with minimal corporate effort.  Of course fic writers who have established online presence are the darlings of the publishing world---what publisher wouldn’t want a built-in hype machine for a new author? 

And, just coincidentally, of course, fanspace and meatspace are drawn closer together, that line further blurred by this new and very, very interested third party.

I’m not saying this is some big conspiracy. No tv exec is out there rubbing their hands together and cackling evilly about how they’re going ruin fandom. But in exchange for meatspace validation and an endless stream of new content, I think fandom has ceded important ground. And I think it’s changing fanspaces, even now:

One of the founding rules of fanspace is that it does not generate money---you risk real copyright infringement that way. (This isn’t to say that money hasn’t been involved in a few massive fandom scandals, but it’s not typical.) Increasingly, however, the grumblings about getting paid for fan art and fic have gotten louder, probably due to meatspace’s general emphasis on the side-hustle, and seeing content-producers churn out more and more fan-like things for a profit.

(It seems unimaginable now, but once upon a time the HP Lexicon was an invaluable resource, a rare unicorn in a pre-wikipedia age. Now, D*sney wouldn’t even think of releasing a tentpole movie without a novelization, a picture dictionary, and a tie-in novel.)

Also, those calls for fan art that “might be featured” by a content-producer are (rightfully) scorned for asking for work pro bono. But the takeaway seems to be “we deserve to be paid for our fan art!” rather than “how dare the content-producer intrude on our fanspace and its activities!”

Fanspaces have never expected or required legal ID, permitting anonymous or pseudonymous activity in order to protect individual privacy. And while there’s still no expectation you link your legal ID with your online/fan ID, the norm has shifted---it’s no longer considered gauche to go by your legal ID, even necessary when turning mutuals and followers into an “audience.” We’re not anonymous fans, engaged in our mutual hobby anymore---some people are doing that, and others are potential content-creators.

I’d argue that even purity wank if an example of this new blurring, classic “don’t like don’t read” arguments taking on new life now that meatspace is so nearby---we wouldn’t want to offend the neighbors!

Even these things benefit the content-producers: the more fan-like stuff they churn out, the less fanspaces will create on their own; the more fanspaces that emphasize linking legal ID to online ID, the less people will be able to engage in fan activities privately; the more meatspace rules assert themselves on fanspaces, the less fanspace we’ll have.

Now, maybe this is just...evolution. As I said before, there is a porous and shifting border between fanspace and meatspace. I remember angry threads about whether m/m fics should be rated higher than a het equivalent; I remember the tagging debates, the incredible resistance to accurately describing what happens in your fic. Maybe in a few years, my longing to return to a more separate fanspace will seem equally as embarrassing, incorrect, and unnecessary. 

But right now, it feels more like an erosion---one fandom is about as willing or able to resist as the tide.

.

** “Content maker” is a term that’s come to mean “anyone who makes something” which is sheer nonsense. There’s a difference between publishers/television producers/movie studios and someone recording a podcast in their bathroom. There’s even a difference between D*sney, a vast undead creative monopoly animated by copyright protections, and someone like James Patterson, who uses a stable of ghostwriters to churn out “his” works. We shouldn’t be scrutinizing all these things them the same way, it’s lazy, and intellectually dishonest.

[matt-schue]

Juni. Juni, Juni, Juni.

Juni.

Juuuuuuuuni

Both! Do both! That will win the people over and chuck their votes in my favor! They're out of style, but I don't think anyone will bat a lash if one pops up and it's centered around me. If anything, Stella will treat you to the biggest mimosa you've ever seen for putting up with me.

Want to hit up a rage room or something? It's a great way to unleash pent-up rage. There's something therapeutic about watching things destroyed by your own sledgehammer. Like I've told you time and again, you're stuck with my ass.

As long as I only have to assemble it and not participate, I'm down. You know my moves aren't like they used to be. Are flash mobs still out of style or have they come back around again? If I do that, will she boot me from the Brunch Bunch??

I know you do and it honestly means the world. I'm trying my damnedest to push it all out of my mind; maybe I'm just not meant for the happy ending bullshit. But it's good to know I'm not alone. Just like when you had my back before with all the mom stuff. Thank you, Matty. Also, please don't ever stop calling it that! I may have gotten us matching t-shirts for tomorrow.

[ayo-cowbelly]

jedi lineage mantras

me and @ghostwriterofthemachine came up with these a while back, and i thought, since i’m using one in a fic maybe other people might want to as well? so i’m sharing them with you all today.

Lineage-specific mantras: While there are dozens of meditation mantras that all Jedi use, there are also ones that are passed down through lineages, often tailored to the kinds of skills and problems that are specific to that line.

A lineage of healers, for instance, may have something like, “I wish to heal the hurt of the universe; may the Force guide my hands,” or something similar.

These are rarely shared with those outside the lineage; while not forbidden to do so, it is widely acknowledged to be something special and private. Learning this mantra is an important coming of age landmark, and considered an important moment in the developing relationship between Master and Padawan.

here are some we came up with, if you use them, feel free to add your own or tweak a bit- just please tag us / give credit!

*names with a strikethrough are those who fell to the dark or left the order

Through the Force we are One, and as One we are the Force” (Tiplar’s master -> Tiplar -> tiplar’s padawan (the first and last can maybe just be OC’s someone makes up))

“I seek to help a heavy universe. The Force will shoulder the weight I cannot” (or just “The Force will shoulder the weight I cannot”)

“The Force is our strength that lifts us when we fall” (Mace -> Depa -> Kanan -> Ezra)

“Our strength is our unity and unity is the Force” 

“The Force is our guide, it is our guardian; it will show us the way” 

“The Force provides peace when peace cannot be found” (Yoda -> Dooku -> Qui-Gon -> Obi-Wan -> Anakin -> Ahsoka)

“Despite the chaos of the moment, I am at peace” 

“The Force is the tool of a Jedi, and a Jedi is a tool of the Force” (This seems like Pong Krell tbh— something that can become very dehumanizing in the wrong state of mind)

“We carry the Force through this world, until it carries us through its own” 

“The Force is the road a Jedi walks; it will lift us when we no longer can”

“I seek to do good; May the Force guide my hands” 

“The Force provides us guidance when we have lost our way” (maybe this one is Luminara / barriss? Since barriss fell and all) 

[benjiclarington]

Benji, what the heck?

...It was supposed to be funny.

I mean, shit, dude. I didn’t know he was gonna cry...

[mack1s]

meet the admin! (basic info masterlist)

hi-hello! so~ i don’t know if people will actually look at this account but just to be sure, i’d better introduce myself don’t you think? well... here goes nothing!

first off, my name’s rye! my pronouns are she/her,, though if you find it more comfortable using they/them when mentioning me, i don’t mind at all! so as long as it’s not he/him /: hhh

eng/한국어/中文 = ok! (i’m most fluent in english, so please do speak to me in eng ♡; i can understand a bit of chinese and i can read korean just fine ... i just can’t really speak fluently in those languages).

byf, byi; prone to swearing A LOT, sometimes texts in all caps, i’m a very private person... so i won’t use any tags to reach more ppl (if u come across my acc and wanna interact, don’t be afraid to tho!), no socials at all except discord !! (my insta and twt are private spams, i REFUSE to ever make a main ever again ... pls message me for my discord code if u wanna chat).

dni, dnf; basic dni-dnf criteria, sexualizing minors, hardcore nsfw acc, hardcore shipping.

p.s. if i use a strikethrough in phrases like this; i love jyuto iruma!!!! - it means im embarassed of what im saying but it needs to be said somehow hhh /srs

— ^_^ ☆ !?

some extra information about me !! (i might just ramble here so you can choose to read or not,,)

my mbti type switches between infj and isfp, though my impression comes off as type infj— i’m an october libra and my type is 5w4 !!

genshin info; na server, uid in blog page description, ar 55, childe main (he’s also my husbando!) ... don’t be afraid to ask for help or ask to play bc i’m a childe main — i’m one of sane ones— i hope.

interests; i’m into mostly anime and butai! atm... the more dominant franchises i’m into are tourabu, messiah project, HYPNOSIS MIC, jujutsu kaisen, the royal tutor, danganronpa, real-fake, gantz, and moriarty the patriot.

side note (butai-related): i just wanna say a HUGE thank you to the butai community on tumblr and on lj ... as i’m more of a freeloader who leeches off everything everyone shares — rest assured, i plan to buy my own stages and other merch soon and i will be more than happy to share with the community as a way of saying thank you! (since i don’t live in jp, it’s quite hard to pay for stuff on dmm ><) but the time will come soon!

— lomls;

highest rank; ICHIGO HITOFURI, JYUTO IRUMA, & SHUUSUKE SHIBA !!!! ♡

tag, takenbyrye; vyn richter, ibara saegusa, sakuma ritsu, luke pearce, ren kisaragi, yamanbagiri kunihiro, ichiro yamada, jyushi aimono, saburo yamada, sasara nurude, yuuri kaito, mamiya seiren, byakuya togami, tartaglia, ruki mukami, subaru sakamaki, reiji sakamaki, horikawa kunihiro, yagen toushirou, joichiro nishi, william james moriarty, rika honjo, teru minamoto, leonhard von grannzreich, toge inumaki, gundham tanaka, kiibo, ryouta mitarai, kurou yatogami, haruka nanase, licht jekylland todoroki, daisuke kambe, soujirou seta, heshikiri hasebe, ikuya kirishima, rod benedikt widdensov.

kins; yamanbagiri kunihiro (tkrb), itadori yuuji (jjk), doppo kannonzaka (hypmic), and bruno von grannzreich (ry).

fav actors, highest rank; ARAMAKI YOSHIHIKO + AKIRA TAKANO !! do hirose daisuke and kyousuke hamao still count ):

fav actors, sub rank; kenta mizue, kitamura ryo, masanari wada, kanata hongo, someya toshiyuki, matsuda ryo, kimura tatsunari, sakurai keito, keisuke higashi, konishi eito (pls don’t attack me jjj these r mostly from the tourabu butai).

seiyuu; nobunaga shimazaki, JUNYA ENOKI (aaa enojun!!).

games; tears of themis, helios rising, obey me, enstars, hypnosis mic, idolish7, a3, genshin impact, touken ranbu, cinderella phenomenon.

— ☆彡

theme and pfp credit!

pfp; @fufefefe (found on tourabu.blog.jp)

theme; @wordbite via theme-hunter.com

*the edit as the media above is made by me ,, it’s rlly poorly made (and masked LMAO) but i’ll make better ones next time <3 remake of insomnish’s edit on yt (using live action nishi!!)

[matt-schue]

LIES! This is for blackmail, and you know it. It's a good thing I don't care. I will even sit out on a big rock and give you my best Blue Steel. Now, if this is for the brochure, I'll wear something better. Think we can get someone to dress like a bear or Big Foot and chase me around?

I hear you about that concern, and it can be jarring when you're placed in those kinds of calls. We don't get anything quite as dire as it was back in New York or even Vegas, so this is a good city to start. Just let me know if you're interested. There's also a part-time volunteer firefighter gig if you want to give it a shot. I can get you set up with the training and everything. No pressure whatsoever! I am curious about what all you do at the parks. Think I can hang with you during a few of your shifts?

Remind me to snap a few photos of that. Not for blackmail purposes or anything, but you never know when the park might need some new pictures for their brochure. Don't forget the pocket travel guide in the front of your Hawaiian print shirt. Promise I wouldn't let that happen, but daylight hours it is.

I swear the devil on my shoulder is your twin. I mean, I do have some of the proper training because forest fires are a thing but I don't know that I'm as brave as you guys.

[simana-x]

Oh yeah, and this is the information page for the BTHB if you’re interested in taking part!

BTHB About Page

Guidelines + Rules

(home ask)

What is this? — Getting Started — How It Works — The Rules — FAQ —

What is this?

This is your motivation to write that fic. Always fun to take prompts when they’re in the form of games you remember from elementary school birthday parties.

You may have seen some bingo cards floating around in the fanfic community. People make a card featuring 24 prompts, and other people will submit a request for one of these prompts to be filled, as well as choosing which character(s) will prominently feature, and occasionally other details as well, depending on the cardholder’s preference. The cardholder then writes the fic and marks it off on the card.

Sounds fun, right? Right.

We all know that some of us are here to get DARK. So, why not make a bingo game focusing on Bad Things?

At this page you will find a list of tropes and scenarios. Currently, there are over four hundred listed. Most are whump-focused, some are more angst, and a few are centered around the ‘comfort’ part of hurt/comfort. Some are fairly general, some are very specific. Some are fairly lighthearted, and some take you right into the heart of Sadism Land.

These are the fics we’ll be writing.

Getting Started

Once you’ve finished reading the rules and FAQ, click on the ‘request a card’ link on the home page or here. This will take you to an application. Let us know the tumblr url you want us to send the card to, and if you want, what fandoms you intend to write for.

Next, you pick your tropes. We’ve got a lot of them, and of course, not everyone would be interested in writing for all of them. Some tropes may not work in the setting you want to write for, some may be difficult to get inspiration for, some may be too dark for you or not dark enough. Go ahead and check off the box next to every trope that you ARE okay with having on your card. You must choose at least 25, so every space on the card has a prompt. (There is no free space; freedom is an illusion.)

There will be a couple of additional questions at the end of the application, then, just submit! Make sure you have your submission box open on your tumblr, with the option to submit a photo, so that we can send you your bingo card. If your submission box is not open, you will not receive a card.

How It Works

When you receive your bingo card, you can start writing! You can write at your own pace and in your own time frame. Go ahead and post your bingo card if you’re making the fics available to your followers, and don’t forget to keep track of which spaces you’ve completed! Doesn’t have to be anything fancy; you can use anything from Photoshop to MS Paint to a text post with strikethroughs to track your progress.

For fic bingos, many people like to take prompts from their followers. Someone will send an ask requesting one of the tropes from your card and a character(s) for the fic to focus on. If you’d like, you can also let your followers prompt other details such as which character you want to have hurt and which one should be the comforter, whether it should be romantic or platonic, an AU to set it in, anything at all. Sky’s the limit. However, prompts are not required; you can select which combinations of tropes and characters you want to write and in what order you want to write them on your own.

Once you’ve written a fic, post it! If in your application you gave us permission to reblog your work, we’ll put it right here on this blog to share with other players and readers. Be sure to tag it with #badthingshappenbingo, or @ us in the post, to ensure we see it. Additionally, please tag the trope featured in the fic, and the fandom you wrote it for.

If you cross-post the fic on AO3, we have a badthingshappenbingo collection, which you can find here! Feel free to add your fic to the collection!

Once you’ve completed five squares in a row horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, you will be added to the Hall of Fame! But don’t feel like you have to stop once you’ve gotten a Bingo; the Hall of Fame will also give special prominence to those of you who get a Blackout - that is, completing every space on your card!

Rules

~ You must have your submissions open in order to receive a card.

~ Although you may request a new Bingo card, you can only have one card in play at a time. We urge you to try to complete your current card before getting a new one if you can.

~ Fics can be NSFW, but they MUST be tagged as such, and all NSFW content MUST be placed under a Read More.

~ There is no word minimum. There is no word maximum.

~ You are allowed to cross-post works you wrote for this event on other platforms, such as AO3, FFN, etc., but we’d like you to also either post the fic on tumblr, or post a link to it, so we can find it.

~ Your entry must be completed before you can mark off its space on your bingo card. The exception is if you are writing a multi-chapter fic, but the chapter featuring the prompt must still be completed.

~ Your entry must be newly written for the bingo, not retroactively tagged or added on to a pre-existing fic.

~ Please indicate somewhere on the post or in the tags which fandom your fic was written for.

~ Feel free to message the blog if we missed reblogging a post you created for this event.

~ Only one prompt per post counts. You can include multiple tropes in a story/chapter, but you can only officially tag/mark off the square for one of them.

~ We love drama in our fics, not on our dash. If a fic is written for a work or a ship that you don’t like, don’t read it. That’s all there is to it. ~ RPF (Real Person Fic) content is not allowed.

~ Although the official Bingo game is a writing-only challenge, you can also participate in this event as an artist. Find the details in this post here!

FAQ

Q: How long does this event last?

A: Forever and ever, I guess. There is no time limit for completing your fics.

Q: How long does it take to receive a card after applying for one?

A: Anywhere from several hours to one week. It depends entirely on how busy the mods are, how frequently applications are coming in, and how long the waiting list is. All of these factors fluctuate wildly from day to day.

Q: Which fandoms can we write for?

A: You can write for any fandom you’d like. This even includes original work, which we like to view as one-person fandoms. The only exception is that we do not allow RPF (real person fic) content. Let’s stick to hurting FICTIONAL people.

Q: I sent in an application, but did not receive a card. Why is that?

A: Most likely, it’s because your submissions were closed. If, however, your submissions are open and you still did not receive a card, it’s probably because either the Google Docs form did not go through, or tumblr ate the submission. Message us off of anon and we’ll get it sorted out.

Q: Can we submit completed fics for this bingo that are also written for other bingos or writing events?

A: As long as the other event also allows it, yes, that’s perfectly fine.

Q: Can we collaborate on fics?

A: When you apply for a card, the username or usernames on the application should always be the author of all prompt fills. If you apply for a card for yourself and another user to share, all works for the card must be a collaboration between the two of you. If you apply for a card for a single user, all works for the card should be written by that single user.

Q: I posted a filled prompt and you didn’t reblog it. Why is that?

A: We aim to reblog all filled prompts. However, due to tumblr being tumblr, occasionally we will miss a filled prompt due to the post not showing up in the tag and/or an @ not making it onto our activity feed. So if you have posted a filled prompt and it has been 48 hours or more without us reblogging, that means we didn’t see it, so you can go ahead and submit or direct message the link to us and we’ll get to it as soon as possible.

Q: Can you add [trope] to the trope list?

A: Probably. As long as it is succinct enough to fit in a space on the bingo card. We would love for the masterlist to be continually expanding. We also want to ensure that all aspects of this event are inclusive to gen writers and to aromantic-asexual characters, due to the fact that they’re so often overlooked or left out of fandom events and activities, so no prompts that inherently require the protagonist/whumpee to be alloromantic and/or allosexual (Unrequited Pining, Cheated On, Left at the Altar, etc.) will ever be included in the masterlist.

Q: Can we make our own cards, or do we have to get them from you?

A: In order to keep track of who’s participating, we ask that you specifically request a card from us. The mods are active, and should be prompt in getting you your card. If you’d like to make your own, feel free - we don’t own these tropes. However, if you make your own, don’t tag the completed fic as #badthingshappenbingo. Only cards made and distributed by us are included in the event proper.

Q: Do we have to post the fics we write for this event?

A: It’s not required. You can request a card for personal/private use if you’d like.

Q: Are there any prizes?

A: Bragging rights, a spot in the Hall of Fame, a sense of accomplishment, and a boost to your grand total fanfic word count. That’s all the reward you need, right?

[antialiasis]

Dave and His Memories Discuss Mia (and Jean)

Back in 2007, when I was writing The Fall of a Leader for NaNo, there was one particular chapter that stuck out. In it, Shadowdart sat down contemplating the roots of his moral system. While I was writing this particular chapter, for whatever reason, I got so intensely into his head that I genuinely felt like I was discovering something legitimately profound and important. By the time I was editing the story in January and got to that part again, it felt pretty unremarkable as a chapter. But the experience of writing it had been something unique. I’d never really felt like that writing before, and never felt it again... until this Saturday, that is.

It's a bit of a long story how that happened. For the past few months I've been participating in the Blacklight RPG on Thousand Roads, as Dave from Morphic, only as a Poochyena (because this is a PMD RP, where any participating humans are turned into Pokémon). Without getting into too much in the way of explanations, the other day on spur of the moment @unrepentantauthor and I started to privately roleplay an imagined interaction between Poochyena Dave and their character's father, a Delphox named Jesse Stranger, where they argue about which of them is less of a terrible father and are both being giant hypocrites going "NO U" at each other and it's great.

Anyway, at a certain point in the argument Jesse the Delphox uses Miracle Eye to mind-probe Dave about whether he's ever had 'violent thoughts' about his kids, and I sat down to write what he'd find. And it happened again! I spent three hours so in his head that I was full-on crying about his feelings and was shaking afterwards and everything. Like thirteen years ago, reading over it again afterwards it's like okay, this is not all that remarkable. But since this stands largely on its own and doesn't require any background knowledge of the RP, here it is anyway, for anyone interested in Morphic extras.

The formatting here is a bit unusual; I originally used Discord spoilers for some of the thoughts in the memories that he refuses to consciously acknowledge, the stuff that wouldn't show up in the narration of his POV of these scenes but is there anyway for a psychic to pick up on. Since Tumblr can't do those, I've replaced them with strikethroughs, which is not quite the same effect, but oh well.

What... what was he doing. Dave's ears flattened back against his head. Miracle Eye? What was that? Was he supposed to have any fucking idea what--

Everything fell in on itself, the Delphox's mind pressing against his own, finding faults, piercing them. He yelled out a panicked string of curses he couldn't hear. Fuck, fuck, what was happening--

--and then, suddenly, a memory. The echoing slam of a door, the unbearable screeching cry of an infant in his arms. she was gone, for good this time, and he knew it, fuck, he fucked it up every time, of course he fucking did Blinking rapidly and standing there and listening to the fucking interminable howls of this freak he never wanted and was somehow stuck with, thanks to these clownish fucking abortion activists. because he'd gotten drunk and fucking bragged about it at a bar, what the fuck was wrong with him A fleeting, angry thought as he looked at the baby, this flailing little bundle: Maybe Jane had the right idea. The mental image of just grabbing her by the ankle and tossing her off the balcony, watching her sail over the trees as the wailing receded into the night, or even just slamming her into the wall, a crack followed by heavenly silence. he didn't want this, he didn't want this, how was he supposed to take care of a fucking baby alone, he couldn't do this, fuck, maybe the police wouldn't even care when the baby wasn't fucking human, or he could just jump after her and get it over with--

His stomach clenched in revulsion, nausea crawling up his throat. What the fuck was this? He barely even remembered that night, hadn't thought of it in fucking years. He wanted to reach out and tear Jean away from this creep, just hold her and keep her safe and make sure nobody could hurt her, ever. Fuck, he just wanted to go home.

--and then a sudden unexpected yank into a series of other memories. Mia, four years old, no idea why she shouldn't hurt people; the abstract realization she was disturbed, weird, but also fascinating. She wasn't a monster; she was just different. Smart. She could figure it out, if he just explained in the right way if he failed that was a problem for later--

--watching the new game Mia and Lucy had invented for the first time a year later, the predatory glint in Mia's eyes as she pounced: it's a game, honestly it's just pretty cute, it's just the same as the little violent impulses they all have this might be more concerning when she has scythes but it's nothing to worry about--

--Mia, seven years old, little scythes beginning to poke out of her arms. Feeling almost giddy analyzing the X-rays: he'd been right, they were growing exactly as he'd predicted. Cheryl taking him aside, asking if she should be worried. No, of course not, she won't do anything, Lucy can stay insubstantial what if -- she won't, she's brilliant, she gets it--

--getting a call from the school, about how Mia, nine, had swiped and cut a girl's hair. Showing up to the principal's office, trying to placate the horrified parents. "She could've killed her!" "Of course she wouldn't have. She knows her own limits. It was just a game, like the games she plays with her sister. We'll talk to her about why she can't do that and that'll be the end of it." the hair's very close to the neck, fuck, Mia, what--

--looking at her in his car one day after one of their weird talks to offer her hotdogs, only to find her staring at him in the sort of way she stared at Lucy during their games, and when he asked what she was thinking she said she was hungry. "Just so we're clear here, when you say 'hungry' you mean 'let's get hotdogs', not 'I want to tear Dave's throat out and eat him', right?" "Both." Fear congealing in his stomach, blood running cold in his veins. She wasn't actually going to, and he knew it -- she was annoyed to even have to explain: "I like talking to you more than I'd like eating you." "That's great, but you can't eat people you don't like either." "I know." "Tell me why." -- but in his mind's eye he saw her lashing out, scythe through his throat, her sharpened fangs tearing at his windpipe, and felt so sick he couldn't breathe. Telling her to please not let him down please before exiting the car, extending his hand towards her and imagining her lunging again and every primal instinct in his brain telling him to get away, but no, she wouldn't, he knew that, and instead holding his hand firm until she took it if she attacked it'd be on him anyway--

--another call. She'd attacked a boy, put a pretty deep cut in his arm. His heart pounding in the office. Mia please don't fucking do this Somehow persuading the principal and the parents that it's a matter of childish impulse control, it's not like she wants to hurt anyone, she knows she shouldn't, they were thinking about making some sheaths for her scythes anyway kind of, maybe, he'd thought about it once and once that happened it wouldn't be a problem. Asking her about it in the car afterwards. Apparently it was this group of kids that kept harassing her about religion, of course it all came down to fucking religion, and she was just defending herself. Like she didn't have that fucking right -- but they talked about it anyway and it'd be fine and they'd make the sheaths Mia please--

--a pang of dread every time he got a call for a while, until at last the third one, when it was clear the principal had already made up his mind when he arrived at the office, and he argued fiercely anyway, they were provoking her, who even does that -- but then she expertly executed a fly on the wall and he couldn't even disagree anymore, she was probably better off homeschooled, and he took her home and they talked about religion on the way and he was glad he'd not have to get any more of these fucking phone calls, and then even fucking Howard was acting like it was all her fucking fault but it wasn't, she wasn't a monster, she was just Mia and she was weird but she was a fucking person and she was his best friend, taking her for hotdogs was like the best part of his week, he couldn't fucking lose her and it wasn't her fault, he'd made her this way and he'd figure it out--

--that horrible day of waking up to all of them gone but Lucy, off on a fucking suicide mission to rescue Gabriel, begging Jean to come home, realizing he'd fucking told them about the trap laid out for them, pacing around the house drinking whatever he could get his hands on trying to imagine they'd all be all right only all he could think was that they were all dying and he should go out there and do something except there was nothing he could do, he'd just be getting himself killed, and fuck, that was fine, fucking bring it, but they'd kill Gabriel too. The utilitarian calculus that rationally they should have just let them kill Gabriel so nobody else would die, they'd all fucking hate him forever but at least they'd be okay, but even then he just fucking couldn't, he was pretty sure Gabriel hated him already but Dave's heart still sank into a bottomless pit at the thought, and all he could do was cling to the fantasy that somehow everyone would be okay and try to drink enough to not remember the rest it'd be his fault, his fucking fault, he told them where to go--

--learning, from Jack's strained recollection of that day, that Mia had died with some kind of psycho fucking grin on her face after slitting somebody's throat, and feeling sick and pressing his lips together as he sat there, but it wasn't her fault, it wasn't her fault, it wasn't her fault, she was fucking unique and he loved her and if they hadn't shot her three times in the head he'd be fucking taking her and driving off, getting her out of the country, he didn't care, they couldn't take Mia he'd made her that way and he hadn't said the right things to her and he'd fucking told them where to go like a fucking idiot--

See, Dave thought, fiercely, in the middle of it, she wasn't a fucking monster, I never thought she was a fucking monster, all I ever wanted was to keep her fucking safe.