mars-starr-rantz

[mars-starr-rantz]

I told my best friend that I was struggling with my aromantic feelings and she turned around and said "don't worry one day you'll find love :)".

NO I WON'T

THATS THE ISSUE

I love her but she's very oblivious and very straight and i didn't have the heart to correct her in that moment

Back in the closet I go I guess

[mars-starr-rantz]

TW: Gore :)

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This is related to my last post but here's a book/movie idea:

An aroallo person who's never been taught the terminology of aromantic thinks they're missing something that other people have/believe they literally don't have a heart, but because of the heteronormative society we live in they believe they need romantic love SO they fake charm people into going on dates with them and take them home, only to carve out their heart and eat it believing this gives them the power to feel romantic love and they think its working because they feel sexually attracted to people before they kill them.

Basically aroallo serial killer that believes eating the hearts of their dates will make them "normal"

Obviously the cannibalism is like a metaphor for consuming someone and mistaking it for love because they were never taught that their identity was OK .

It reflects how no one is really taught about specifically the aromantic spectrum, and how romantic attraction is assumed to be the default, and when someone isn't born with that default then they're broken or a monster.

I might write this as a series on my writing blog (starstruck_void if you're interested)

[mars-starr-rantz]

Guys I wanna feel consistent/strong romantic love SO BAD. I want to fall in love, get married, live my life devoted to someone else as they would be to me. I've met the girl of my dreams (lets call her Star), she's perfect, I adore her to the bottom of my soul.

But there's this sinking feeling in my heart. It's like an empty void screaming and consuming me, constantly reminding me that no matter how hard I try and how much I force myself to feel something it will never be right. I will either loose interest or mistake strong platonic feelings or something else and get romance repulsed out of no where and it won't be fair on Star at all. She deserves the world, and she deserves a partner who can feel all those wonderful things.

But still I want to be with her so badly. A selfish part of me wants to keep her all to myself and never let anyone else have her, but that isn't fair. But I am reminded of my ex partners, and how it all felt stiff and awkward and fake to me after a certain amount of time, and how hard I had to force myself to reciprocate any romantic gesture. I wanted them to be happy because I did love them, it was just a different kind of love.

And I don't ever want what I have with Star to be stiff or awkward. She's joyful and bright and so incredibly intelligent, and she lights up my life every time I think about her. The fact that I can't love her the way she deserves is like a knife to my chest.

I hate being aromantic. I hate it so much. I want to shut it out and ignore it and force myself to feel love because I crave love. I want it so bad. I want that happy life but I know in my heart that no one deserves to be stuck with me and I'm just going to die alone.

[mars-starr-rantz]

I'm more of a Neuro Harry Potter fan myself

[mars-starr-rantz]

(pretend that im not late to aro week haha ^_^") i mulled over doing something for aro week this year because i never do anything and was abrubtly hit with the absolute Need to draw out my complicated feelings towards love and how being aro + mentally ill/neurodivergent affect it. ramble under the cut if you wanna read, or not. tw for sensitive topics though

the past year has been a rough one, we had our first irl relationship where we actually lived with said partner. it ended up being toxic/abusive (not on our end) and the whole experience really solidified our identity as aroace, though we didnt realize How Aroace we really were until now. and after figuring out we deal with narcissism..its been a lot. not to mention how our autism affects how we can love people and express that love (which is usually seen as abnormal). even through our entire life we've always felt broken, like we were just "not made right" because of how much we struggle with expressing love

but even after everything, my partner system and other headmates have always been there, not to mention my f/os and comfort objects. i think realizing that we arent cut out for deeply romantic relationships is a huge weight off our shoulders. we will always feel love and yearn for it, but expressing and experiencing the real thing is very difficult for us, so fictional media has been a huge coping mechanism and comfort for us. to anyone else whos struggled with romance or affection..happy aro week! 💚🤍🩶🖤

[mars-starr-rantz]

Guys I need your help like genuinely

I had this dream last night where my family and I were living in this village in a hot country and everything was fine (people had like five eyes and horns and shit but that didnt disturb me) except I was a really heavy smoker? And like it was really good. Now I'm really craving a cigar3tt3 even though I've literally never smoked in my life? What's going on literally I feel kinda distraught and empty rn. Like I woke up and spent 10 minutes searching for my lighter and then I remembered I don't smoke and literally never have. What am I even supposed to do in this situation?!?

Send help

Drink water

[mars-starr-rantz]

OMG HOW DO I FIND IT

The Neath! character dynamic is "the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who is always listening"

[mars-starr-rantz]

She's the fandoms angel and can do no wrong. I really hope we get more Neath!- esque content with Cassie involved although that may not happen lol

The Neath! character dynamic is "the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who is always listening"

[mars-starr-rantz]

She's the fandoms angel and can do no wrong. I really hope we get more Neath!- esque content with Cassie involved although that may not happen lol

The Neath! character dynamic is "the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who is always listening"

[mars-starr-rantz]

10/10 EXQUISITE TASTE. no notes. Cassie is for sure my favourite, although I'm a bit biased as a genderfluid person lol

The Neath! character dynamic is "the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who is always listening"

[mars-starr-rantz]

Honey I adore Neath! With my whole damn heart. I'm so glad we have stumbled upon each other 😭 who's your favourite character?

The Neath! character dynamic is "the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who is always listening"

[mars-starr-rantz]

NEATH! CONTENT NEATH! CONTENT MUST REBLOG

(Also I am the biggest Cassie fan I love my gendafluid bartender femme bbg)

The Neath! character dynamic is "the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who talks + the one who is always listening"

[mars-starr-rantz]

HONESTLY WHO GAVE THEM THEIR AUDACITY. ESPECIALLY DUOLINGO. Like thanks Duo the kidnapping jokes were funny at the start but at the end of the day you are a fake owl and if I really wanted to learn French that I could use in a conversation I would toddle down to my local library and get a French dictionary. Cool your jets dude bro I don't have to be here

sick post i just found online. sorry i couldnt find the source

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Twas emo as fuck. And for that exact reason I've watched it on loop since it came out 😃. The edgy hedgehog was a vibe and I'm tired of pretending it wasn't.

just watched a shadow of myself its emo as fuck

[mars-starr-rantz]

Genuine actual thing said by my brother at dinner today:

"Sorry between Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, The Swedish Chef and the mariachi band I kinda tuned you out"

It made me laugh

[mars-starr-rantz]

Get the cameras OUTTA MY HOUSE

"I am the biggest faggot and such a whore" exclaimed the most virgin aroace teenager to ever be born

[mars-starr-rantz]