#there is no shame in being aro but there is when its me yknow

[aromantic-luigi]

hi op!! i hope you dont mind me adding my thoughts, i was typing this in the tags and then realized theyd be a little too long oops

i think you have a great point there. aromanticism and asexuality are seperate identities, although, they still do have many similarities, not only in concept but especially in the way theyre treated by society.

in my opinion, its a bit disrespectful and diatasteful to tag specifically aro posts as ace, especially when the people posting them are asking others not to. i think that the issue is that asexuality has been talked about a lot more in more recent years; not nearly enough as it should be, though its included in a lot of flag displays and pride merch and theres been a good handful of canonically ace/ace coded characters in media. the issue is that aromantcism is hardly talked about or recognized, and aro representation, especially characters who are allosexual and aromantic, are incredibly rare. asexuality is a bit more digestible for people, as the idea that sex is sinful and gross is already deeply rooted in society (not to say that we ace people have it easy - theyre still shamed for it and face oppression, though people are at least a little more accepting of it). Aroaceness is another step from that. People find it weirder, since the idea of not feeling either of those types of attraction is baffling to people, but it still makes somewhat sense, so people are often accepting of that as well. the problem is that people have a very hard time accepting alloaro people, since how on earth can someone feel sexual attraction but not romantic attraction? sex is considered a sin and youre honorable if you never have it, though romance is overglorified and, well... romanticized, lol. society describes it as pure and wholesome and wonderf and neccessary and ideal!! (and of course, this leads to very harmful stereotypes about alloaro people.) asexual flags are common, though i hardly ever see aromantic flags in flag displays, pride merch, or even queer-made pride items.

thats why its frustrating to see specifically aromantic posts tagged as asexual. while many people in the aspec community identify as both, its isolating to the people who dont.

i feel like adding asexual experiences onto aromantic posts is a bit of a gray area. again, youre absolutely right - there are many similarities in aromanticism and asexuality where it makes sense to relate the experiences of the two. but at a certain point, its almost as if all aro posts are now aroace posts. (in contrast, ive seen way more ace-specific posts than aro-specific posts.) its a problem when aromanticism is only ever accepted when coupled with asexuality, while asexuality is frequently talked about often with emphasis on "asexual people can still be romantic, by the way :)!"

so... honestly i cant really say that its right or wrong to add onto aro posts. adding aro experiences onto ace posts? i would argue thats perfectly fine, unless the poster says otherwise, only because asexuality is more represented. of course im not saying anyone is evil or has any bad intentions when adding onto aro posts, i dont believe anyone means any harm when adding ace experiences, but i hope it makes sense why aromantic people are a little frustrated when all of their experiences are always equated to being aroace. its a little disheartening when people cant have their own space even in online spaces theyve tried to make for themselves, yknow? just my two cents :] i am only one person, my opinion is not fact obviously and i hope im not coming off that way!!!

(this is all written by an aroace person, if that means anything. im not here to pick sides - im on both!)

It's so frustrating how aromantic people and asexual people have been divided in the community because we refuse to respect how these identities relate and how they are different. How hard is it to respect a "do not tag with ace" at the bottom of an aro post, but equally not refusing to let aro posts be derailed by an ace viewpoint when that is simply the nature of this website and how posts are made. You guys know we both exist in the same space and we can be respectful of each others boundaries while also not closing each other off completely by acting like there is no correlation in experience at all?

Of course if nothing else is added it's disheartening to see someone tag something unrelated. But also why are people so against someone changing the conversation to something that is related or similar? I don't understand how you people are so against conversations?