madamemcweed-blog

[madamemcweed-blog]

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Time to fill the weekly pill container so I don't miss critical meds. My world is feeling a little upside down right now, so the filming error is appropriate. If you're curious, the meds are as follows. Amitiza taken in the morning and at night as a laxative/intestine stimulator. Buspar for anxiety and because it works on the 5HRT receptors in my stomach and intestines to relax them and reduce my gastric pressure. Peppermint oil with ginger and fennel for my pyloric sphincter (it helps my belches be minty fresh, too 🤣). Salt stick capsules because I cannot consume enough sodium and other electrolytes through traditional oral consumption to makeup for my kidneys wasting electrolytes. Oregano oil as an antibiotic to treat my SIBO. I added it again in the morning because everything is a little screwy from my trip home. I normally only take it at night. The trio of pills at the end is nortryptaline to increase nerve function and help with my gut hypersensitivity. I'm meeting new doctors this month, so we'll see if they add anything. I have another half dozen meds that I take as needed for various symptoms. So many pills. Although I am immensely grateful they keep me alive and help with my symptoms, but it's a very regular reminder that my body will never be able to do most of it's basic bodily functions on its own. That's hard to face everyday. Still learning how to accept that. #pills #medicine #organized #dailyreminder #bornthisway #bentbutnotbroken #stillkicking #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #hypermobilityspectrumdisorder #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

It's been a pretty incredible two weeks of self realizations. One of the hardest ones to deal with has been fully accepting my mortality. It may seem dark and morbid, but it's a big part of dealing with severe chronic illness. I didn't want to die because I didn't know what was next and I'm a very controlling person and that terrified me. But I've been forced to reexamine the basic principles of my life. And that has been fucking terrifying and exhilarating and incredible. Everything makes sense now. At the end of my life, I will die. That will happen. It's completely and utterly immutable. And I have accepted that now. Cause every little thing is gonna be alright. My life will end. It's supposed to end. Realizing that, that this is how life works itself out in the end, means every little thing really is gonna be ok. Because that's how it's supposed to be. It's not up to me to like it or change it. All I get to decide is what to do with the time I have. I can't control my life and eventual death. I can control how I react to it. And the best way todo that is to understand myself and my truth. So I will live my truth until I can't. That is what matters in this life. Live your truth, even if your voice is shaking and your heart is pounding. Live your life so death himself is honored to have you on his ride for the trip home. #life #death #mortality #liveyourtruth #bornthisway #bentbutnotbroken #stillkicking #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #hypermobilityspectrumdisorder #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

September is a busy month. We are moving up to the greater Sacramento area to be closer to my growing team through the UCDavis medical system. Cardiology, podiatry, orthotics, and GI are scheduled for me, and we are still waiting on the pain clinic and neurology and PCP. Hubs has an orthopedist appointment for his knees. Really excited for the new information and potential new treatment options these doctors may recommend. #moving #appointments #allthedoctors #complexpatient #bornthisway #bentbutnotbroken #stillkicking #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #hypermobilityspectrumdisorder #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

"Cause every little thing is gonna be alright" I think you're right. And I know you have enough faith for the both of us. #home #<7 #bobmarley #itwillbewhatitwillbeandthatsok #bornthisway #bentbutnotbroken #stillkicking #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #hypermobilityspectrumdisorder #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh baby, I hate to go. #lessthan7yearsipromise #maine #home #flying #bornthisway #bentbutnotbroken #stillkicking #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #hypermobilityspectrumdisorder #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

Tonight, the monster in the darkness is my own mind. Oh existential crisis, why must thou raise thine head when my defenses are at their weakest. #fear #anxiety #newsymptomsarescary #fearisthemindkiller #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

My parents are using this beautiful plant to hide their gas meter. Much to my father's surprise, it's a perennial. Guess it's gonna keep coming back. #vine #perennials #flower #flowers #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

Good news! It's a suppository. #suppository #futurama #constipation #paralyzedGItract #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

Home. The great waters from whence we came. #ocean #Maine #beach #coast #home #rocks #atlanticocean #atlantic #saltwater #islands #sunset #vacation #vacationland #alwaysandforever #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine

[madamemcweed-blog]

This is why pollution and air quality laws are so critical. I haven't had a systemic reaction to an environment since the last time I was in Alabama. I don't react in Maine or California or Nee Hampshire or Vermont. They have very strict air quality laws. North Carolina and Alabama do not have very strict pollution laws. Alabama actually pays EPA fines everyday instead of controlling their pollution. I am hyper reactive in states like this. I am your canary in a coal mine. We need to work together to protect ourselves and our environment from greed and destruction. I feel terrible. So grateful for a short layover here. #allergy #reaction #flushed #pollution #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

Alice knows I'm leaving, so she's acting like a clingy toddler. Hopefully she will be good for the hubs. #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #anxiety #travel #rescue #kitty #kittycat #love #furbaby #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california

[madamemcweed-blog]

While waiting for the shuttle to my GI Doctor, a lovely British woman gave me this flower. I feel pretty lousy today, so this was a beautiful pick me up. Thank you, kind stranger. #love #hope #flower #stranger #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

At the geneticist's again. She has the results of my whole exome test and I am incredibly nervous. I did not anticipate being this anxious. I've only spent nearly 30 years trying to find the answers she may have in that test. It could also show nothing, which is the terrifying part. For now, we wait. #answers #hope #genetictesting #wholeexome #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

We've been busy this weekend. We made 10 quarts of chicken stock and processed 11 pounds of beef for future meals. We made 6 pounds of ground beef (including 6 burger patties), 2 quarts of yellow beef curry, marinated jacquarded flank steak, trim for a future consommé or stock, lunch, and dinner. Everything was so delicious. Breaking large cuts down into usable portions is really an incredible experience. We freeze most of this and eat it for the next few weeks. Later this week we will break down a 13 pound brisket primal. Really excited for what that's going to turn into. Meal planning for a month is a lot more work when one makes everything from scratch. #homemade #butcher #stock #cooking #food #diy #doityourself #burgers #curry #yellow #meat #masonjar #kitchen #cook #homechef #gourmet #oldschool #french #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california

[madamemcweed-blog]

Now you don't. #orthotic #braces #jeans #podiatry #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

Now you see them. #braces #orthotics #podiatry #new #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity

[madamemcweed-blog]

When you're trying to email your geneticist, but one cat won't stop chasing the other cat. Alice is wearing her "I can't get along with others" shirt. They are both finally resting quietly on opposite sides of the couch. #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #costume #invisibleillness #gastroparesis #dysautonomia #orthostatichypotension #connectivetissuedisorder #hEDS #genetic #disability #chronicillness #medicine #california #prop215 #sb420 #girlswhosmokeweed #weedismedicine #legalize #pot #ganja #ganjagirl #mmj #marijuana #medicalmarijuana #stoner #high #cannabis #cannabiscommunity