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Drool.

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Braud-mance.

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The other day at work I was calling customers to remind them about their late movies and came across this outgoing voicemail message. It made me laugh so I called him back and recorded it. 

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I made a thing. It's been a while.

This is a Markus A. Vurrgh quote. Here's his tumblr. Here's his website. 

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Nail update. (Taken with instagram)

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Manhattan

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Dude's taking it to a whole other level.

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My Japanese pear tree started blooming today. (Taken with instagram)

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I am so attracted this guy and I don't even know his name.

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Santa Cruz (Taken with Instagram at West Cliff Drive)

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Woman: Can I have birth control?

Government: No.

Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?

Government: No.

Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?

Government: No.

Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?

Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.

Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.

Government: Too bad.

Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?

Government: Do you have a penis?

Man: YES, YES I DO!!

Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!

Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.

Woman: But-

Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.

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I really love those braids!

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Wye Oak covering Aaliyah's "Are You That Somebody."

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Wye Oak! (Taken with instagram)