leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

I am no white witch I say

I am raw power

I have no persuasions either way

*

I hold a vast capacity

For both evil and good

And a never ending effort

To dispense each as I should

*

You think you’re a monster

Sweet boy

I am a priestess of sin

With wings that shine bright like heaven

*

I am the monster

I feel no remorse

Cold and calculating

Riding a Jet black horse

That smells of pain

*

Once I have decided that a fate is just

I do what I must

Ever balancing the scales in life

My weapons sharp and purposed

Whether deception or knife

*

I once decided that maybe this was not the way

But that ended in brokenness

And I do not see grey

*

Humanity is an evil place

Wearing a most beautiful mask

Justifying each horrible task

*

I tried to trust in the balance

Of the universe

Finding the meaning in each act

Or word.

Did I deserve this pain

Should I react?

*

Perhaps

The illusion of being good

Is the grandest lie of them all

Meant to trick those who fall for it

Into giving away all they have for it

To those who claim to be white witches

*

I am no white witch.

I wear my darkness on display

In long black talons

With leather and lace

*

I am not afraid of the dark

Nor the light

I am proud of my nature

I do not hide

*

And yes I can be kind

But I am not just light

I don’t wear a mask

And I won’t live a lie

*

I am no white witch.

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

When he gave his false apology, I asked why

And he said:

“What I did to you was like picking the wings off of a butterfly.

Not thinking of if they’ll ever grow back”

*

So I said:

“I hope that the next butterfly

You try and dismember

Has razor blades for wings

And leaves you mangled

So you always remember

How beautiful things

Should be handled.”

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

I am despondent

Laid out where you left me

My tears are dried

Tell me why

You lied, you lied, you lied

*

Like a lamb to the slaughter

You led me

Fear coursing through me

And yet ecstasy

Tell me why, why, why?

*

Explain to me the ache

That rises from inside me

And lurches my feet toward ruin

*

Paint for me the heat

Between by thighs

When I’m facing my own demise

*

I howl at the night sky

To reach the goddess

And I

Cry, cry, cry

Goddess why?

*

Teach me about the yearning

Deep inside

My cravings for darkness and lies

And pain

*

I am a collector of thorns

My hands ever bloody

Loving each cut

Eyes ever running

Like a broken sink

*

Open me up while I scream

Tears stream down my face

And my heart starts to race

Please give me more

Pain, pain, pain.

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

I’m drunk and maybe

Too inebriated for poetry

Drowning in my own thoughts

Choking on your memory

*

I keep screaming at her

My questions unanswered

The coldest teacher is she

The universe

*

If the lesson is

How not all beautiful things

Are meant to be

Why do you keep sending them to me?

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

I loved you when I let you go

Your heart in exchange for my soul

Are you happy now

That I’ve given what you asked me for

*

You race through my veins

My blood is infected

I’m poisoned insane

You left me, unprotected

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

My hidden talent is sabatoging anything that has even the slightest potential to be good 🤷‍♀️

[leilahmariewriting]

My brain can’t make sense of love without pain.

Maybe that’s why I can only think your name.

The deeper you cut me

The more I want you to love me.

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

"I am absolutely in love with every single part of you. Your rage and your kindness. You are gentle yet so brutal. That kind of balance should be celebrated. And if by no one else, it is acknowledged and celebrated by me. There is something ancient in your soul. Don’t get rid of it my love. It is an image of the old gods themselves to be capable of such gentleness and such retribution."

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

"I'm scared so please, give me a reason to hate you."

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

"The universe demands balance. And she does not negotiate."

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

"He was my partner in crime. But you never trust a criminal."

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

"We are both pieces of shit” he said. “So let’s just get that straight. But let the record show… I love you. I would kill for you."

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

I can only fall for

The most tortured of souls

Wound up into a tangled mess

Impossible to unfold

*

Something about the darkness

Calls to me

I cannot turn away

Let me help you be free

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

“Flipping through the pages Over each spilled word For you A love you never deserved”

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

You touch me

Like you’re scared you’ll break me

Which is funny

I whisper faintly

Because you already have

*

Broken me into a million fragments

Scattered on the floor

You look at me shocked

Like you’ve never wanted anything more

*

Laying here in pieces

Waiting for you

To pick part of me up

When you’ve got nothing else to do

*

You examine each piece

Admire the art

But won’t put me back together

As if that is going too far

*

But you don’t pick and choose

Each piece

What to take and what to leave

Maybe you appreciate all of me

*

If so

Please put me back together

So I can be whole

*

Or go

Because when I’m alone

I am magnetic

And come back together

My heart just a little bit heavier.

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

How many times, did I watch the sun rise

Because I was afraid to fall asleep

And dream of you.

*

And how many of my days

turned into black nights

And then back again, to a shade of light blue.

*

I am tired but the sound of your absence

Refuses to subside

It’s screaming in my heart

And in the back of my mind

*

I lie awake, trying not to think.

At least you can sleep, because I am restless without you.

*

- @leilahmariewriting

[leilahmariewriting]

I fell for you hard

tripped over my own feet

And the longing hit me right in the face

The butterflies in my stomach

Have come up to play

And are choking me

Anytime you look my way

*

While I was falling I tried to reach

Anything at all

To catch myself

And stop the fall

*

You looked like long sad nights

Walking heart break with blue eyes

The sweetest pain alive

A dangerous pasttime

And I tried oh I tried

*

I tried to pretend that I didn’t melt

Every time you looked at me

I dangled my restraint in front of your face

Lied through my teeth

Like a lion you hunted me, quietly

How satisfying this must be

That I’m yours

*

And when you spoke to me

I fell even further

I’ve stopped trying to catch myself

Why even bother

The way you hold me

And then push me away

It makes me crazy every day

*

It hurts in the worst way

But it’s the kind of pain I long for

You know what to say

To keep me coming back for more

You stole my pride

When you growled at me

Now I’m begging on my knees willingly

*

I haven’t stopped falling yet

I wonder where I’ll land

I don’t even care now

As long as you’ll hold my hand.

*

- @leilahmariewriting