kingovbats - Tumblr blog

[kingovbats]

my poor guy😔 didnt even make it to middle aged😔

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the first thing I thought about after reading 118

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Idk

[kingovbats]

Fyodor: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game... Nikolai, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Fyodor: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

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New chapter got me making Connections

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what if Fyodor and atsushi are related lol wouldn't that be funny

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I just had a random thought/BSD theory

since tripolar singularity looks like a pen and abilities were created by the book I've seen many theories saying that Dazai is the book but hear me out

what if

What if Dazai was the eraser

like his ability cancels other abilities

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saying "who said that" at the end of a sentence is a lot funnier when you're plural. who DID say that

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in our case the host is often ashamed by splitting another introject, especially from their special interest. It sucks ngl. But denial and fear of rejection are often too strong

-P.V.

being a system that has quite a low split tolerance and fictive heavy is quite anxiety inducing when introducing ourselves online... like we started at around 7 and now we are at 48 and it takes WEEKS for a fictive to actually be allowed to show themselves usually because though we will hear things in our head it's just denial denial denial until they become too much to hide anymore.

and why do we do this??? because internet culture criticizes anyone and everyone who claims to have did and god forbid if they are NOT the "norm" of dissociative identity disorder.

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THIS ↑

also I really needed to hear that

We should probably normalize not knowing information about your system like what an alter's role is, total alter count, who is fronting, etc, since that is actually very normal.

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shout out to the systems who would not be alive without it. yes this can be painful and it oftentimes is but it’s also important to note that just as often, if not more for some of us, it can be a wonderful - or even life saving - experience.

-💙

[kingovbats]

I understand where you're coming from, even if I don't agree with everything I think you should've emphasize more to

MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE

It's more important to remain safe and unharmed than expressing yourself freely in public.

Don't get me wrong, cuz I'm progressive and believe there shouldn't be any stigma regarding one's sexuality, race, religion, illness, gender identity etc.

However you should always care for your safety fist and don't put yourself at unnecessary risk.

Remember that you and your life experience matter!!!

Be Openly Scary

Society is scared of a lot of things it shouldn't be. A lot of those things can't be helped, a lot of those things don't hurt anyone, and a lot of those things are not what people even think they truly are.

So you know what?

Talk about your hallucinations, your delusions, your psychotic symptoms. Share things about your gender identity whether it be nonconforming, trans, xenogender or anything else. Scream about your nonhumanity and animal urges. Be open and unwavering about your systems existence, presenting as more-than-one wherever you want. Use and introduce your pronouns, even if people find them weird or offputting. Rock back and forth, pace, twitch and stim in any way you please. Wear things that reflect your identity in public. Get tattoos and body mods to your heart's content. Tell people about your personality disorders.

Don't make yourself small because others can't handle you. Be open where safe. Be you. Be scary.

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sys culture is "I'm a system" (communication completely goes away) "no I'm not" (communication restored but there are new people) "I... Am" (once again comms disappear) "noooo I'm mistaking this for something else" (comms restored and now there are less people and somehow new people) "where the fuck are you all going." Props to kira for staying throughout it all she's a real one

even more complicated by the nontraumagenic suggesting therapist (I am also that anon) who was totally right about everything else and then you're like well..... Like I trust you....... But if no issue why people.

We have the same issue with our communication, and I can't imagine a therapist like that would help with that struggle very much

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Atsushi: You promised me that we would fight to the death after six months. Akutagawa: Yes, and Hitler promised that he would not invade Czechoslovakia. Welcome to the real world, Jinko. People lie. Atsushi: Atsushi: What is a Czechoslovakia?

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When things get a little too stressful, and you start to hear a new voice in the headspace

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autistic system* culture is fakeclaiming yourself for “not having” symptoms you do have, but aren’t thinking about because you’re too focused on the literalness of the wording

*or any other conditions

[kingovbats]

THIS.

sigh. this is so sad. alexa play pk;m new