incorrectonceuponatime

[incorrectonceuponatime]

David: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?

Regina: Murder?

David: An accident.

Regina: Oh, that's how I'm going to make it look.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Regina: What's your relationship with David?

Killian: I'm Dave's right-hand-arm-man. I'm Dave's everything; his confidant, his best friend, his silly rabbit.

Regina: Is that what he calls you?

Killian: No :)

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Killian, having just talked to Snow: We just talked for a little bit.

David: And?

Killian: I don't think you need to be concerned about her leaving you for me.

David, sarcastically: I was pretty concerned about that.

Killian: She's definitely leaving you for somebody, so don't be so...

David: Can you leave me alone? I'm trying to be a husband, and your mojo's getting all over me.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Belle: Look, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Snow: Well, that's done. I told my dad he's not walking me down the aisle.

David: How'd he take it?

Snow: He didn't seem to care.

Snow: He just asked me if any of my 'hot friends' would be sitting at his table.

Snow: I wish I had a dad who wanted to be part of my life.

David: Well, if he hooks up with one of your hot friends, he'll be part of your life.

Snow: ....

David, laughing at his own joke: I was trying to make you laugh.

Snow: ....

David:... You don't want to laugh...

[incorrectonceuponatime]

David: All right Dad, what's going on? You're on time, you brought a gift...

David: It's 6 o'clock and you don't smell like tequila.

Robert: What? I can't make a good impression?

James: No. That is why we're confused.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

David: Speaking of school, what are you, a sophomore?

Teenaged Emma: No I dropped out last year so I'm a no-more.

Snow: You dropped out of school?

Emma: What do I need school for?

Emma, holding up her cellphone: The lady inside of this, she knows everything.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Snow: Shh! I told David that Dad was dead.

Regina: Why would you do that?

Snow: Because he's a narcissistic sociopath.

Regina: Then what are you marrying him for?

Snow: I'm talking about Dad.

Regina: Oh. Oh, yeah. He totally is.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Killian: Screw you!

David: Screw YOU!

Rumple: Screw both of you!

Regina: Excuse me... excuse me. I think I need to sit down for a minute.

David: You okay?

Regina, clearly confused: Yeah. It's just everybody's fighting and nobody's mad at me.

Regina: I-I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Snow: So I ate a couple of pot gummies.

Snow: Then I forgot I ate the gummies, so I ate more gummies.

Snow: This is my first gummy beat experience and it's not good.

Snow: Here are my takeaways:

Snow: A) Don't eat 9.

Snow: B) I'm gonna die.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Dr Hopper: Look in my eyes and repeat after me: I am okay.

Emma: You are okay.

Dr Hopper: No, you are okay.

Emma: No, you are okay.

Dr Hopper: I am trying to get you to say 'I am okay.'

Emma: But I am so not okay and I'll never be okay!

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Cora: Don't speak ill of the dead.

Regina: Don't be a piece of shit before you die.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Snow: What have we always said is the most important thing?

Emma: Mac and cheese.

Snow: Friendship.

Emma: Oh, right. Friendship... I thought you meant of the things you eat.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Hook: Emma, I think you need to apologise for the mistake you made.

Emma: What 'mistake' are you talking about?

Hook: You slapped me in the face.

Emma: That was very much intentional.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Emma: Did Elsa just tell me she loves me for the first time?

Ruby: Yeah.

Emma: And did I do finger guns back?

Ruby: Yep.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Emma: Before you say no-

Regina: No.

Emma: I haven't even told you yet-!

Regina: I'm sticking with no.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Hook: No one listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.