i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

Some more head cannons about Simon “Ghost” Riley having missing teeth

When he says certain words it either makes a hissing noise at the end or a whistling noise

It makes him really upset that he can’t eat hard food like meat and apples (Price made the cafeteria start serving softer foods like noodles and mashed potatoes)

Price was the only one for a long while to know that Ghost was missing teeth. Gaz and Soap found out at the same time in a public setting and Soap gasped loudly causing Ghost to snap at the sergeant (it just made Ghost feel really insecure and embarrassed)

When Gaz makes food, he’s very cautious of Ghost’s struggle and tries his hardest to make sure Ghost can eat it w/o pain

Ghost lost his incisor when he was younger due to getting hit in the face with a ball so there are rarely any pictures of Ghost smiling w/o showing his teeth

Soap was the first person to get Ghost to smile with his teeth and bragged about it for months

Since Laswell had a few teeth pulled herself, Ghost and her often times complain about the struggles together and it makes Ghost feel just a little bit better knowing that he’s not alone with some of the things he experiences

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

I 100% believe that Kyle “Gaz” Garrick is a germaphobe

The kicker? He doesn’t know that he is

He grew up with his mom always cleaning, even if it looked spotless because she was convinced that there were germs

So now Gaz keeps those habits he learned from his mom with him

He comes in being outside and immediately wash his hands because “you don’t know what could have hit my hands”

He throws away food that are about to hit their expiration dates because just the thought of food past that date makes him physically ill

Gaz wipes down almost any surface before placing his things down purely because there could be something deadly there

The 141 never found an issue with his until the day that Gaz flipped his lid because Soap grabbed a chip off his plate, without washing his hands, and they all had to convince Kyle not to throw out his food because it was not “contaminated with whatever germs Soap brought inside” (They couldn’t stop him and he threw the plate out anyways)

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

There’s no way Simon “Ghost” Riley has a full set of teeth. He’s been captured and tortured how many times??

He’s missing an incisor, a caine, and at least three molars

The biggest issue that he comes across is the fact that they’re spread out, all of his missing teeth aren’t on the same side of his mouth

Which normally never interferes with his life except when it comes to eating certain hard foods

The whole reason why he hardly ever eats with the rest of the gang is purely because there’s always some type of meat being served that Ghost has trouble chewing because it hurts

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

Just a mentally ill kid smoking some grass after a long day and their cat they found in a dumpster chilling outside

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

So, trains go chugga chugga choo choo but how many chuggas equal one choo? Like, is it four chuggas per choo? Is it two chuggas per choo? What is it? What about realistically?

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

You are so Gay /lh

Pickup lines based on Beatles songs

(Blame @i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person )

Can you give me a ticket to ride(you)?

I’ll help you pick up rice in a church anyday

Will you be the Lucy in my Sky of Diamonds?

I was born to come and get you

I want to hold your hand eight days a week

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

“If every hope abandons you, there’s peace in that you know” is such a wonderfully, beautifully, magnificent, yet soul crushing line to me. Rusty Cage who allowed you to write that??

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

The 141 and their opinions on Cereal

Ghost: loves lucky charms but hates the marshmallows. Absolutely hates the way the marshmallows feels on his teeth, almost lost his shit when he accidentally ate one once

Gaz: will ONLY eat the marshmallows of lucky charms. Will often times eat the marshmallows from Ghost’s bowl. Will also eat fruity/coco pebbles but that’s on occasion.

Price: Frosted shredded wheats and Rice Chex. Prefers Frosted shredded wheats but on a time crunch, eats Rice Chex (he eats it dry). Enjoys Honey Nut Cheerios but not his favorite.

Soap: can NOT stand cereal in the slightest. Absolutely repulsed by it. Hates it with every fiber of his being besides Cookies. He will eat an entire an box of Cookies but that’s just because he claims it’s not actually cereal.

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

I appreciate how people are able to capture Roach’s unhingness at times (like the art of him eating cigarettes) and I wanted to do my own take on it

Roach’s chaotic nature purely depends on how manic is. Some days he’s perfectly fine. He acts like a normal human being would, even able to socialize with the recruits on good days. But then he has days where’s off his rockers, he’s biting people just because he can, he’s peeling the paint off the walls simply because he wants to eat the paint.

His days range completely and no one can ever predict what he will be like. There will be months were Roach seems fine then the next day, Price would find Roach in his office, on top of a filing cabinet chewing on a cigar. Not smoking it, chewing on it like a piece of gum. They’ve tried to work out a schedule but they’re never right.

What’s even more fascinating is how his manic episodes are so vast as well. He’ll either be scaling the walls so he can taste the light bulb or he’ll have the entire base spotless or he’ll be in a pissing match with everyone, mostly Ghost. About anything too. He’ll see Ghost shooting at the range and Roach will do ANYTHING to do better than him. Ghost will be eating and Roach scarfs it down faster than him. Everything and anything becomes a competition in the blink of an eye. Ghost is going to tie his shoe? Roach ties his faster, even if it was tied. He will untie his shoe just to tie faster than Ghost.

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

i will never understand why more people in their 80s don't commit felonies. you reach that age and surely there's something illegal you always wanted to do but didn't bc Consequences

dammit, GO FORTH GRANNIES!!! rob an armored car! hold up that bank! tunnel your way into fort knox! what are they gonna do, sentence you to 20 years? good fuckin luck with that

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

When it comes to spirits, mythological creatures, and ghouls, the 141 is split completely. Gaz and Ghost stand firmly on not believing them — why would they? They’re ruthless killers, surely they’d be haunted by now. Price just shrugs his shoulders and usually says “Who am I to say what’s real and what’s not?” But Soap?

Don’t get Soap started

He was born and raised in Scotland, more importantly, the thick woods, which means Soap knows everything you need to know. Ever since he was just a wee lad, he knew how to be kind to folk. He has books upon books about the different kinds of fae, boxes and boxes and incense and sage — just in case someone brings something back from a mission — and a bunch of pendulums. You name it, he has it. Soap doesn’t fuck around with it when it comes to that type of shit. His Momma taught him better than to try a spirit.

So whenever Soap starts saying something feels off with the base, Gaz decides to fuck with the “spirit” that Soap is claiming must be present. Gaz goes around taunting it, insulting it, and just throwing everything at the “spirit” that he could. There were a few moments of silence as Gaz looked as proud as ever at his taunting before a loud CRASH echoed through the quiet base. When the group expected the noise it just so happened that Gaz’s favorite mugs — the ones that were kept huff from his teammates — were shattered completely on the floor. Soap just stands there with a smug look and announces that he'll be back.

When Soap does return, he’s carrying a box with a bunch of symbols carved along the sides but a big Celtic knot on the center of the lid (one that Ghost recognized as Soap’s family Celtic knot). Soap grabbed several items from the box. Three necklaces (each one having a different pendant and made all of them wear one), incense and a holder, sage, and a lighter with Gaelic engravings on it. Soap starts by lighting the incense and starts asking questions, taking long moments to watch the smoke move before asking more questions (which left Gaz stunned by the way the smoke was constantly changing. ). After the incense burned out, Soap made Ghost walk around with the burning sage, making sure every high corner was touched by the smoke before putting everything back in the box.

“His name’s Brian,” Soap casually stated while waving at the door frame, ignoring the confused looks he got from his teammates. “Price brought him back from France.”

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

TW: mentions weeds

I fully believe Gaz is the type of person to be so considerate when high. For Example,

Gaz stumbled down the hall, still careful to make sure his steps were quiet, as he made his way to the kitchen. The Brit had managed to sneak some weed onto the base, for the first time in a long while, and he had underestimated his tolerance. That’s why Gaz was standing in the kitchen staring intensely at the fridge. After trying to figure out what kind of sandwich to make (he ended up making turkey because they were low on Ham and Soap really likes ham), Gaz was trying to figure out what kind of dressing he wanted. The choice was between honey mustard and Thousand Islands. Normally Gaz wouldn’t bat an eye and would have used the Honey Mustard — the only issue was there wasn’t a lot of honey mustard left and he knew Ghost only eats Honey Mustard on his sandwiches. So after an internal debate, Gaz just gave up and grabbed the Thousand Island despite not liking the dressing.

Gaz ate the sandwich rather quickly and stared at the plate he had used. With a groan, the Brit trudged over to the sink, still careful to be quiet, and washed the plate. The next step was for Gaz to put everything he had gotten out back and he made sure to put it back in the same exact spot but then he noticed the fridge wasn’t organized — something that annoyed Price so Gaz gave a tired and heavy sigh and started to rearrange the fridge the way Price always did. This continued for a good bit, Gaz would find something that usually got on someone else's nerves so he fixed it. The sergeant ended up cleaning the kitchen before he was finally convinced he could leave the kitchen happily and sneak back to his room.

You could imagine the surprise of the team the next morning.

Price was the first to discover the kitchen. He was aware it was going to be dirty — no one had cleaned up from dinner. He was expecting plates piled up and dirty counters. The captain just convinced himself he’d make time to get it cleaned at some point. He went into the kitchen to make himself some coffee but he found himself frozen in the doorway. The sink was spotless, the trash had been taken care of (and there was even a new bag in the bin), and the counters were all wiped down and honestly looked like you could eat directly off of them. Next to be as shell-shocked as Price was Ghost. The lieutenant just wanted some cereal but found himself astonished at how clean and organized the fridge was — only growing more confused when Price didn’t take credit for any of the work. Soap was the last to enter, taking a quick glance around the kitchen before laughing out,

“Gaz must’ve been high again”

[i-cant-exist-as-a-real-person]

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me