happinessinavacuum

[happinessinavacuum]

Tower

On Samhain I did a simple Tarot pull. Among others, I pulled the Tower. I’ve pulled it before, right before the pandemic. I had a job that I loved that ALSO paid the bills. I was saving money and traveling. I was in a new relationship and this was finally feeling like my life. It was almost four years after my divorce. The Tower, depending on the style of your deck, usually appears as a sturdy…

[happinessinavacuum]

Closing

Yesterday, during my supervision session, I found out that the company where I’ve been working for about 18 months is closing. They gave us exactly sixteen days notice. I found out when my supervisor asked me if I had read my email and then gave me some time to do that. yes I had a panic attack I couldn’t even speak. I held up my finger and turned off my microphone and camera so I could slide…

[happinessinavacuum]

fever dream

It’s been a while since I’ve had a dream I remember that was even worth writing down. My “dreams” journal used to be full of bizarre ideas. Then, I started writing these ideas as stories, the characters started developing, and the plots started twisting. The first story I wrote down came out of a series of nightmares I was having about my ex. In them, I would repeatedly visit specific places from…

[happinessinavacuum]

"tells"

In the game of poker, there is a strategy of watching for other player’s “tells;” or involuntary and subtle reactions to the cards in one’s hand. This is why you see poker players hiding most of their faces behind beards, hoodies, glasses, etc. Over the years, I got to know my ex’s tells. I became an expert at reading his behavior. I had to be, as it was unpredictable, and I had made myself…

[happinessinavacuum]

I promised fiction

For this story so far, I have various characters in different degrees of development, and vague idea of how they all came together, but not much in the way of plot (yet). I needed to answer some questions about the characters’ relationships, so I wrote out this scene which introduces a backstory for the villain. “I met Serena when we were in high school. She was one of the popular kids, I was…

[happinessinavacuum]

By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.

Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.

This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):

Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):

Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.

But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:

Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.

Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation

Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.

Meditation

Martial arts

Sports in general

Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)

Woodworking

Cooking

If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers

Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.

[happinessinavacuum]

Writing

Writing isn't easy. Sometimes I don't love it. I also feel "Called" to it, like I have to share the stories that are inside me. That doesn't make the actual task of it any easier.

Even before I could read or write, I was telling stories. Often, these were retellings of the stories from movies or books I had heard. My first original story was written in first grade. My grandma loved the story so much, she kept it for years. I found it among her things after she passed. It was a story about an apple, who was perfectly happy with mom and dad on the “family tree,” and was…

[happinessinavacuum]

genderless

Once upon a time, there was a little boy. He lived with his mom and dad; dad was just the best. He told the best bedtime stories, they would go on for weeks at a time, each installment building on the world introduced in the last one. The boy used to stand on a stool at the bathroom mirror when dad would shave and use a toy razor to carefully scrape the fluffy foam slathered all over his cheeks…

[happinessinavacuum]

Fail Forward

I grew up with a problem solving mindset. If something didn’t work the first time, I’d figure out a way to make it work. Once I identified the problem, my focus shifted to finding a solution. If the problem couldn’t be solved, I will have learned something from the experience, so no loss there, either. I knew there were often many wrong answers before I could find any right answers. I enjoyed the…

[happinessinavacuum]

Writer

For the past eight years, I’ve been jotting down ideas: waking up from dreams and recording them in my journal, scribbling on post-its, recording voice notes. Recently, I decided it was time to start writing in earnest. I searched all my digital and analog files to find everything (I still haven’t actually got all the way through, but I have enough to get started). So I am getting organized. For…

[happinessinavacuum]

Calling America

1980s Nostalgia.

There is a song on the Pink Floyd “The Wall” album where someone is trying to make an international call connection. I was going to cite the song, but I had a quick look through the lyrics sheet and that gave me no joy. So unless I listen to the entire album again, I can’t remember which specific song, Apologies. The gag in the song is the singer is trying to place an international call while on…

[happinessinavacuum]

100 words

Hi! When I think of the punchline first, I like to write a 100 word story to get the point across. Try it!

Shandy sheathed her sword and entered the sanctuary; but palmed her stealthy boot knife just in case. She had made it to the “final boss.” Her journey had finally ended. This AI had taken control of the country. She wasn’t sure how, it was long before her time, but apparently it hadn’t broken any laws. She had fought her way here to shut it down. She had so many questions, but knew there wasn’t…