goblingrotto - Tumblr blog

[goblingrotto]

what if... masking emote but the person(s) behind it is plural? either illustrated with little people in a brain area or just a plural symbol (like emmengards rings) replacing the face? :3

Great idea!! I didn't do the rings cuz I'm having some problems with motor control today, I hope this will do :3

[goblingrotto]

What is the difference between a “chosen person” and an “equal person”?

The terms chosen person and equal person refer to the special people a pwNPD have in their life. People with Cluster B disorders may have a “special person” in their life that can mark a difference in the way they have relationships with others. So, much like how pwBPD have their favorite person (FP, for short), pwNPD can have an equal person (EP) or a chosen person (CHP).

But what is the difference?

From what I have seen from other people with NPD, as well as my own experiences, both terms can be chalked up to as this:

Equal person is the person that is equally as important to the narcissist. The EP may be on the same level or close to as the narcissist, hence the name. This is a person that the narcissist cares for, who’s emotions and feelings are acknowledged.

Chosen person is the person that the narcissist values above everybody else. In other words, they are someone worthy of the narcissist’s time. Chosen people may be chosen because they hold a trait or have charcteristics that may interest the narcissist.

Why are these special bonds formed for pwNPD?

Simply put, the traits of our personality disorder may cause us to have rocky relationships with other people. It causes us not to care about other people, see them as inferior/useless, and become distant from some.

Empathy is a struggle for pwNPD, we don’t really have much of it. That is why EPs are special—they are a person the narcissist cares about, and sees close to or on their level.

Some pwNPD may not be all about socialization or having close friends. That is why CHPs are special—the narcissist likes this person a lot, and considers them worthy.

A chosen person can be an equal person, and vice versa. But they are not the same thing.

An equal person can just be an equal person. The narcissist may not have any relationship with them, or consider them a CHP. They are just a person the narcissist sees on their or close to their level.

A chosen person can just be a chosen person. The narcissist may not see their CHP as an equal—they are just someone the narcissist picked.

However, from what I’ve heard and my own personal experience, some pwNPD have CHPs or EPs that are also EPs or CHPs! Whatever they decide to use to describe their person, depends on the narcissist. Some use equal person, others chosen person.

I haven’t seen any posts about the topic, so I decided to make a post to spread the word. I hope this might help clear some things up for non-NPD and for my fellow narcissists!

[goblingrotto]

Unfortunately, I think stigmatised disorder (personality disorders, psychotic disorders, etc) culture is realising something you experience has a name and finally feeling seen, but you go to google it for more resources and only find people talking about how horrible and morally evil you are for daring to have that symptom you never chose in the first place.

[goblingrotto]

btw if you think "fakers" in plural communities are a legitimate pressing problem that needs to be fixed and is actively harming plural communities at large, i really think you should step back and find some perspective. coming from a collective with DID that has been fakeclaimed on many occasions for various reasons, we need you to ask yourself these questions:

(A) who are you accusing of being fakers? what characteristics are you looking for to determine if someone is faking? (B) do you know for a fact that they're faking, or are you just assuming they are because they don't act "plural enough" in your eyes? (C) is there anything similar between you and these (apparent, so-called) fakers that others might use against you? (for example, having too many introjects, having introjects of a particular type/source, having too large or too small of a system, having too much or too little communication between your sysmates, having too much or especially too little amnesia/dissociation (especially if you have a CDD), having certain comorbid mental illnesses (personality disorders, schizo-spec disorders, psychosis in general, etc), having or not having certain kinds of trauma (especially if your system is traumagenic in any way), etc) (D) do you think people theoretically faking plurality themselves are leading to people not believing plurality exists or believing its so rare, or do you think it's more likely that the pervasiveness of fakeclaiming others and choosing not to provide benefit of the doubt is what's leading to people dismissing plurality as something fake or too rare for them to ever be concerned with it?

and finally:

(E) do you think people who are actually faking plurality (who are most likely doing it to get attention or find a sense of community/friendship) will suddenly stop faking because you chose to be cruel to them, or could it be possible that it's more likely that they'll be more willing to listen and change if you're kind and respectful and offer compassion to any true struggles they might have?

[goblingrotto]

Shoutout to in-system relationships that aren’t romantic in nature. To your headmates who are your parents, your children, your siblings, your best friends. To your headmates that love you so dearly, as a friend or as family or any other label. <3

[goblingrotto]

hey, if you take any bit of system related advice to heart today, please let it be this: do not tell people the positive or negative triggers of certain alters if you do not absolutely one hundred percent trust them not to misuse that information.

[goblingrotto]

If you're a "neurodivergent safe space" are you normal about people with NPD? Are you normal about systems? People with psychosis?

If you only mean adhd and autism, make yourself clear.

[goblingrotto]

What Narcissism Is:

holding yourself to extremely high standards (if I'm not perfect at it, I'm a failure)

being incredibly sensitive to criticism (becoming suicidal if you think someone thinks you're bad at something)

having a very brittle sense of self-worth that's heavily reliant on what others think of you

What Narcissism is Not:

being uniquely abusive

having no morals

being a bad person

ETA: this is not an exhaustive list of NPD traits! more traits than these are necessary to have NPD! I chose these particular features to emphasize things that aren't often talked about outside of dedicated NPD communities and to highlight the fact that NPD is a disorder based in the internalized fear that you are never good enough.

[goblingrotto]

Having narc friends is great actually, "oh you're insulting MY friend?? The person that is known to be MY friend??? So by extension you attack ME??? You think my taste in people is bad??? How dare you, how dare you even talk about them"

If you ever get into a fight, you can bet we're at the front lines with you.

[goblingrotto]

Hey if you’re schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that you’re a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.

[goblingrotto]

A few more!

Bipolar- the weather is not bipolar. It can be erratic or unpredictable but it cannot have a mental illness. People who use words like this do not make themselves safe people to be around and confide in. It makes people feel like a joke and like you don’t respect them when you use their disorders in such a blatantly wrong way.

Psychotic/Schizo/Schizophrenic/Delusional- it is not okay to joke about things people struggle with every day. You need to find different words to use to describe things. It’s not fair to further shit on marginalized groups just because you’re at a loss for words. People with delusions cannot be helped by making fun of them or by disregarding the things they tell you. That’s not how you should treat anyone actually.

Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath- to my understanding, these are not accurate diagnostic terms. They are instead used to be derogatory towards people with ASPD. People with ASPD or antisocial traits are not evil killers. Most of them live normal lives with friends and loved ones. People with ASPD are not the people you saw on the true crime shows and most of those people on the true crime shows don’t have ASPD. Bad people can be found everywhere but having ASPD doesn’t make someone inherently a bad person.

Mental health is not a joke and using diagnostic terms in an extremely wrong way or using derogatory terms only makes you feel unsafe to be around.

Mental Health words you need to stop using wrong or at all

• Narcissist- describes someone with NPD or Narcissistic traits. Your asshole ex was probably not a narcissist and diagnosing others when you don’t treat them in a clinical setting, is not something you should be doing.

• Narcissistic abuse- this doesn’t exist. Your abuse was valid and we support you speaking up against your abuser but you don’t need to demonize an entire disorder to do that. We are trauma survivors too.

• Antisocial- describes someone with ASPD or antisocial traits. You being introverted or a homebody is not the same as having a lack of prosocial emotions and disregard for social customs.

• OCD- I see this one everywhere. You are not “so OCD” for wanting things to be organized. OCD is a disorder that consists of obsessions and compulsions. It also has intrusive thoughts (talked about next). You can have OCD and be unorganized or messy. Organizing can also be a compulsion but it’s not simply that. Compulsions are something you feel like you HAVE to do or something bad will happen. It is not mild discomfort. It is deeply upsetting and dictates your every thought without proper treatment.

•intrusive thoughts- everyone seems to be mixing up intrusive and impulsive thoughts. Impulsive thoughts are something that you suddenly get the urge to do, typically without regard for the consequences. This is something that you WANT to do. This can be something like dying your hair in the middle of the night, getting a tattoo you might regret later, etc. Intrusive thoughts are not at all that. Intrusive thoughts are things that go completely against your moral code. They are a part of OCD. They are horrifying thoughts to have. Intrusive thoughts can be things like thoughts of hurting those closest to you, thoughts of hurting children, or graphic images that won’t go away. Giving in to impulsive thoughts is usually irresponsible. Giving in to intrusive thoughts could be catastrophic. No one is giving in to intrusive thoughts. The whole point is that they are things you would NEVER DO.

• ADD- this is mostly targeted at my mother. Attention Deficit Disorder no longer exists. ADD is now under the umbrella disorder of ADHD. There are three subtypes of ADHD: inattentive, classic, and combined. Predominantly Inattentive ADHD is when a person presents with the inability to focus, stay on track, and remember things like a neurotypical but doesn’t really present with hyperactivity. Predominantly hyperactive/impulsive is basically the other end of the spectrum. Someone may present with hyperactivity and impulsivity but not so much inattentiveness. Predominantly combined is when a person presents with all of those symptoms.

Feel free to add things I missed in reblogs!

[goblingrotto]

Mental Health words you need to stop using wrong or at all

• Narcissist- describes someone with NPD or Narcissistic traits. Your asshole ex was probably not a narcissist and diagnosing others when you don’t treat them in a clinical setting, is not something you should be doing.

• Narcissistic abuse- this doesn’t exist. Your abuse was valid and we support you speaking up against your abuser but you don’t need to demonize an entire disorder to do that. We are trauma survivors too.

• Antisocial- describes someone with ASPD or antisocial traits. You being introverted or a homebody is not the same as having a lack of prosocial emotions and disregard for social customs.

• OCD- I see this one everywhere. You are not “so OCD” for wanting things to be organized. OCD is a disorder that consists of obsessions and compulsions. It also has intrusive thoughts (talked about next). You can have OCD and be unorganized or messy. Organizing can also be a compulsion but it’s not simply that. Compulsions are something you feel like you HAVE to do or something bad will happen. It is not mild discomfort. It is deeply upsetting and dictates your every thought without proper treatment.

•intrusive thoughts- everyone seems to be mixing up intrusive and impulsive thoughts. Impulsive thoughts are something that you suddenly get the urge to do, typically without regard for the consequences. This is something that you WANT to do. This can be something like dying your hair in the middle of the night, getting a tattoo you might regret later, etc. Intrusive thoughts are not at all that. Intrusive thoughts are things that go completely against your moral code. They are a part of OCD. They are horrifying thoughts to have. Intrusive thoughts can be things like thoughts of hurting those closest to you, thoughts of hurting children, or graphic images that won’t go away. Giving in to impulsive thoughts is usually irresponsible. Giving in to intrusive thoughts could be catastrophic. No one is giving in to intrusive thoughts. The whole point is that they are things you would NEVER DO.

• ADD- this is mostly targeted at my mother. Attention Deficit Disorder no longer exists. ADD is now under the umbrella disorder of ADHD. There are three subtypes of ADHD: inattentive, classic, and combined. Predominantly Inattentive ADHD is when a person presents with the inability to focus, stay on track, and remember things like a neurotypical but doesn’t really present with hyperactivity. Predominantly hyperactive/impulsive is basically the other end of the spectrum. Someone may present with hyperactivity and impulsivity but not so much inattentiveness. Predominantly combined is when a person presents with all of those symptoms.

Feel free to add things I missed in reblogs!

[goblingrotto]

Hey! We’re the goblin grotto, a DID system with NPD, ASD, and OCD. We are also physically disabled and use a cane.

Although we are traumagenic, we will not permit anti-endos on our page. This is a place where people can come as they are and feel respected and appreciated. Syscourse is ruining this community and hurting real people. If you have a problem, kindly leave.

Our content will mostly surround the disorders we have and positivity regarding them. However, feel free to repost if you feel something resonates with you, even if you have something different!

It is important to us that people who come here can get reassurance that they aren’t alone and that they are loved here. For this reason, hate comments will be deleted if reasoning with the commenter is attempted and not possible. We don’t immediately believe people are lost causes so we will attempt to calmly communicate, given we have the spoons.

Us as a system:

• We are a DID system of 20ish headmates. We do not use the words “parts” or “alters” for our system.

• We are 22 years old and have known about our DID (on and off) since 15. We are medically recognized as well.

• We use they/he collectively. We have been on T for nearly 5 years and had top surgery.

•We’re a senior in college for Marine Biology.

DNI

• anti-endo

• homophobes, transphobes, racists, ableists, zionists

• harmful paras who are pro-contact

• Under 16 (I understand that you may need resources but this is not the place for you. We are too old to feel comfortable interacting with you)

• Misgendering anyone on our page

• blatant ignorance (being uneducated is okay but you need to accept new information and do research yourself to change that)

• anti-choice or otherwise conservative

• against good faith identities (I will not argue on this. Bi/pan lesbians, lesboys, etc are welcome here)

• Against self diagnosis with proper research

[goblingrotto]

Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day

[goblingrotto]

I dont mean to be rude and i genuinely dont know how to ask this but i wanna know why do you reject pd abuse

Im not saying its incorrect in any way im just new to this and i desperately need to know

Because the term is not only incorrect, but inherently ableist. Terms like emotional/physical/sexual/domestic/mental/reactive etc. abuse already exist for a reason. There's no reason to use the only few that target groups of people who are also often times victims of abuse. /nm

[goblingrotto]

Actually in all honestly, to my friends that are all very “but DID and endogenic systems need to have separate spaces”, sure- I see some merit in having spaces that are specifically for DID systems, Traumagenic systems, and systems that are traumatized

But you have to recognize that traumatized systems does in fact include many endogenic systems, and any space intended to be for traumatized systems or exclusively for DID systems will have systems that:

- believe they have DID but are actually just endogenic

- believe they are endogenic but actually have DID

- are both endogenic AND have DID

- can't be bothered to label themselves

- are in crisis and don't have time to figure out if they "count" as having DID or not

- are endogenic but desperately need support from a trauma-informed community that knows how to work with their system

The “separation of origin” argument doesn’t really work out imo, and I don’t really like that some people have started to take an “endogenic systems are fine but they should stay out of our spaces” angle- you’re hurting all systems here! (DID systems especially, because I know some people only care about DID systems)

And as a side note, traumagenic and endogenic are *ORIGIN* labels, but DID is a disorder label. We know a number of endogenic systems who went through trauma in their 20s and 30s that now qualify for or have received a DID diagnosis despite not having been formed by trauma. Not to mention, we as a DID system have been most supported by endogenic and mixed communities because they seem actually focused on supporting each other instead of just sniffing out “DID fakers” or something- which is an actual issue we’ve encountered a NUMBER of times in DID spaces.

Even we as a diagnosed DID system will not be “DID enough” for many DID spaces!

[goblingrotto]

What kind of anarchist is pro-psychiatry, not for plural liberation, and denies the expansion of the perspective of the plural experience beyond disorder? don't make me laugh.

Real Punks protect endogenic systems.