futurefashion01

[futurefashion01]

I really just need time to collapse in exhaustion and grief alone. I’m always around people and therefore have to be as “put together” as I can manage, which is lessened every day that I’m unable to collapse and recollect.

I understand that I am so lucky to finally have a pretty good job and friends who want to see me and family that wants to talk, but I’m exhausted and have always had a low social battery.

I’m so tired all the time from work and life and family and friends and trying to take care of my (deteriorating) health while also trying to keep up appearances. I’ve barely had more than a few hours truly to myself in the last 4 months at least.

I’m hopeful that I will have recovery time when I get my insurance back and check myself in the psych ward in January, but I have to make it there and make sure everything falls in place or I’m fucked.

I’m just a marionette doll being held up by my last few fraying strings and telling myself the show must go on.

[futurefashion01]

I can’t explain it but it feels special and good when the first snow of the season is on your birthday

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I can’t do this

Except that I can

And I know I can because I will

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!

 I am trying I swear I’m trying God I’m trying so hard please believe me I swear to you I’m trying you’ve got to believe me dear God please believe me I’m trying so hard you have to know that I’m trying see me see me trying I’m trying

[futurefashion01]

Mismag petplay supercut /j

Truly just so that I can send this to my friends who don’t watch mismag so they can understand the kind of shit I’m experiencing

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I think something a lot of people who came in later don't get about misfits season 1 is, it was, generally, a bit of a mess?

It was the first guest DM, first time Brennan was playing, it was the shortest stand alone season to date, first player characters dating. So there was a lot of excitement, and also a lot of messiness. The character arcs were rushed because it was 4 episodes and nobody knew how to pace that yet. People were super excited to see Brennan as a PC. People were excited for PCxPC romance.

Evan absolutely ended up being the Main Character of Season 1, and that doesn't mean the cast is Secretly Racist or Brennan is an attention hog or that the other characters weren't well made or didn't have arcs. It means that a combination of limited time/new pacing constraints, people (particularly Brennan's cast members!) being excited about his character, and his character having an arc that tied in very tightly to the plot meant he ended up with more of the spotlight.

In other seasons, you see how this works out naturally with time as each player/character takes a turn in the spotlight. In misfits 1, they introduced a critical plot point at the start of episode 4. K clearly had a planned arc that had to be kind of accelerated to fit in 4 episodes. It's something that I think might have worked out better with even just 2 more episodes, but I think given the time constraints it worked. It makes sense they didn't want to spend a lot of time on an experiment that much of their base would be split over because of its relationship (however we see it) to a book series a TERF has used to harm people.

Tl;dr looking back, season 1 was a bit of a mess. And honestly I think that's why I was so excited for season 2: better pacing, more comfortable, mostly ditching the contentious roots to really dig into these characters and let Aabria loose with world building that isn't tied to any established media. So people critiquing Season 1 are generally right, but imo you just kinda have to give it a bit more grace and accept its limitations. It was D20 stumbling a bit before it could run.

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[futurefashion01]

Garbage disposal (affectionate)

Rancid bastard (affectionate)

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What the fuck happened To Fergus?!?!!!!

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Being self-aware or generally aware is a curse

I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be stupid I want to be 

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pros of being generally hard to notice: im sneaky >:) cons of being generally hard to notice: They Freakin Forgor Me

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avoidance has saved me from everything it's also killed me a hundred million times

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There’s a really good fanfic with them as a pairing called and An Unalloyed Good by ajayistillblue

I'm just now watching MisMag season 1 and I'm sorry I'm kinda shipping Evan and Jammer? Like their interactions are so fucking good

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"Does Evan Kelmp carry a grenade?"

"I dunno, will you let me?"

Brennan lays his chin on his hands while Aabria loses it

Truly amazing

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Love without Sex

I’m doing a Philosophy paper on Asexuality. Please reblog if you think Love without Sex is possible! I really need the data. Like if you think love has to have sex.

[futurefashion01]

No no you don't understand! I want to watch this show/movie, read this book, listen to this podcast, etc.! But I must be in the right mindset and the exact head space to begin, or I just can't!

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Dissociating to Hamilton to avoid a panic attack at work 🙂

[futurefashion01]

There's nothing like feeling so anxious I'm gonna puke only to turn on a special interest and my brain is like "Oh yeah, existing is pretty okay again." The turn around is exactly 0 seconds