for-glory-and-gore

[for-glory-and-gore]

talking to you is similar to talking to a ghost

or a memory

it’s halfway there

it’s a feeling

not really physical, not really present

afterwards

i’m left with an empty feeling

missing how things were

but liking the right-now more

- all that’s left of our friendship is the memory of one

[for-glory-and-gore]

star - mitski

remember when we met

we acted like two fools

we were so glad

-

so glad to have found it

that love is like a star

it’s gone, we just see it shining

it’s traveled very far, i’ll

keep a leftover light

burning, so you can keep

looking up

isn’t that worth holding on?

-

you know i’d always been alone

‘till you taught me

-

to live for somebody

that love is like a star

it’s gone, we just see it shining

‘cause it’s traveled very far

keep a leftover light

burning, so you can keep

looking up

i am yours no matter 

that love’s gone

we just see it shining

we’ve traveled very far, i’ll 

keep a leftover light

burning, so you can keep

looking up

isn’t that worth holding on?

[for-glory-and-gore]

[for-glory-and-gore]

[for-glory-and-gore]

[for-glory-and-gore]

how was there a world without you?

i want to bring you here.

show you the roads and back alleys that built me.

introduce you to the places that brought me joy

and the ones that didn’t.

touch on every tree and branch and stone that i once touched when i was small.

show you the yard by my school that i conquered capture the flag in.

skate around the ice rink that i lost my favorite toy at when i was four.

bring you to the gelato shop that i celebrated my thirteenth birthday at.

if i could, i’d show you my old bedroom that i spent so many nights drawing and writing and crying and dreaming and maybe replace those nights with that of kisses and love and warmth.

if i could, i’d bring you on the bus ride to the aquarium where i wrote beautiful words with my best friend for a story we were writing.

if i could, i’d bring you to the farm we’d visit every fall where we would ride ponies and paint pumpkins and make angels out of cotton.

if i could, i’d show you the college my mom brought me to whenever she needed to go to class but my head hurt too much to go to school or to stay by myself so i’d sit next to her and doodle on the tests or lecture papers the ta passed out .

i would bring you to all the parks i etched my initials into trees at and we’d carve yours right next to them.

i’d bring you to the botanical gardens my family spent our sunday afternoons at after church and show you the koi fish pond that i was always in awe of.

i want to walk you around in my childhood.

i want to show you my life before you, wonderful you.

[for-glory-and-gore]

i like when you’re quiet.

don’t get me wrong, i love to listen to you,

but it’s a rare and beautiful thing

to watch you think and to watch you listen.

mouth shut, mind open.

i always wonder what you’re thinking about

and if you’ll ever tell me.

i want you to bother me with all your thoughts.

- your mind is a beautiful thing and i wish to live in it

[for-glory-and-gore]

summer rain

i love you like a summer rain

building in a dark, indomitable cloud

until it comes pouring, pouring, pouring

because the cloud cannot stand to hold so much inside.

it hits the ground over and over and over again

like all the kisses i want to plant on your body

drenching you.