findingmyway

[findingmyway]

There’s this little life hack you can do to “audit” each of your living years. At the beginning or end of each year, go through your camera roll starting with January. Notice and reflect on all the things that happened this year and all the good that came out of it. Don’t be so eager to jump into the new year so quickly. You’re rushing too fast through life. You have to be able to enjoy life. It’s not supposed to be ALL pain and suffering.

[findingmyway]

The strongest people are the ones who are still kind after the world tore them apart.

[findingmyway]

I want my keys back..

Never hand over your life for someone else to control. Once you lose your power, once you lose your control, you soon lose your happiness. You are no longer controlling your own life. You’re being controlled to provide happiness to those around you. They’ll start tearing you from your friends first. Soon after, you realize you don’t talk to your family as much. Before you know it...you are ALONE. You no longer wake up to your “best friend” in the morning. You wake up to the person in control of your happiness. Treat them right, keep them happy, care for them, support their crazy dreams. For what? To watch yours slip through your fingers. WE ALL HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE. STOP LIVING YOUR LIFE FOR OTHER PEOPLE. STOP HANDING OVER THE KEYS TO THE KINGDOM LIKE PAMPHLETS AT CHURCH. You have 1 life to get this right. Don’t prolong it. Don’t chance it. Don’t take it for granted. 

[findingmyway]

We live on average about 27,000 days in our lifetime. That’s 27,000 chances to make a difference. Make a change. Make memories. That’s 27,000 days to become the happiest version of yourself and live your best life.

[findingmyway]

Mistakes, I can handle.

Regrets? Now that’s something I can’t live with.

[findingmyway]

dontmakemetalkaboutit

[findingmyway]

Just when you’re on the brink of having your shit together and shattering to pieces.

[findingmyway]

I complain daily of all the things I have to take care of. And the minute my boyfriend asks for more when I know his day was half ass hard as mine; I’m instantly annoyed. The complaining and nagging; truly get you NOWHERE. Now that I’m completely aware that it’s nothing but a waste of time, I stopped. So much energy put into fighting or arguing about things not getting done when it could of been used just doing the job. I don’t know exactly what triggered me, I think It was when he asked me to help more with dishes and laundry. At that point I felt like I was doing so much already. An overwhelming amount. An amount I was proud of. Then to hear I was still not “quite” there I fell apart. It hardened me. Women are strong because men force us to be. Whether you’re happily married or divorced and single. It’s human nature for us to pick up the rocks ourselves and start building our own damn castle. But you don’t know it until you actually HIT that point and I mean you almost physically hit a point. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished and looking back on my old self I wouldn’t of been able to juggle and handle so many different things at once. I feel like right now in this moment I am going through that phase of ‘adulting’. It’s harder than I ever imagined but I see the light. I really do. I feel like the effort and honest energy I put into my work is worth something and that it will help others. I appreciate the smallest things. To serve others and make them happy in turn makes me happy. Becoming a mother has helped that but I also feel the stresses of juggling now him and everyone and everything else. And please tell me how do you do it? I’m without family and really any friends. It’s lonely. It’s not inspiring or uplifting. It’s more rehabish. I know it was good for me but I’m ready to plant roots and slow down a little bit. The fast pace life is making it harder on me health wise and energy wise. I’m drained. I’m exhausted. I’m breaking.

[findingmyway]

I would feel way better if I were sitting on the beach listening to the waves crash against the shore while building sand castles with my son. Right now I feel like the waves are crashing directly into me. It's crushing. I need some sun to bring me back.

A girl trying to find her way

[findingmyway]

One Man

To one man you could be everything and more than they’ve ever wanted. To another you will never be enough. It’s like they set these internal goals FOR you and they expect you to meet every single one of them. And god forbid you don’t. Then all of a sudden it’s like a can of worms are opened and all of your flaws are thrown out onto the table. As if you didn’t already know that you have 1000+ flaws your anxiety reminds you of daily. It’s this heavy feeling while walking on eggshells. To some extent you understand their point of view, but at the end of the day, I am ME. I understand that everyone wants to live their lives and make the most of it because we only have 1. That is a simple statement with about 7.2 billion meanings. That sentence means something different to every single individual on this planet. Family and friends are important, never let someone take that away from you. The trash talk they instill in your brain over time will eventually mind fuck you into believing you don’t need them. Your friends who have been there for you growing up, especially into adulthood are important. A man’s opinion of your friend shouldn’t change the way you look at that person or change the way you treat them either. The man who isn’t happy with you or is constantly expecting more will overlook the little things, that add up to a lot. The holiday gifts, the toilet scrubbing, the side hustles you try to squeeze in just to make that extra $25, it’s the effort and love you give unconditionally. It’s the stress you feel FOR them, when they don’t feel any for themselves. It’s draining. It’s exhausting. It’s anxiety. It’s depression. It’s a running brain. It’s nonstop thoughts or situations. It’s what we do as women. So to the guy who doesn’t think you’re good enough, realize what you have versus what you’d lose while looking your girl in the eyes. That’s important. 

[findingmyway]

I find myself more at peace underwater. Underwater, you can only hear yourself breathing. Nothing else. The whole world fades out and all you can hear is each breath you take. Coming up from under the water you begin to hear your thoughts, anxieties. To simplify it; reality. Find your peace underwater.

[findingmyway]

You Deserve A Person

You deserve a person in life that brings crazy to your calm. One that will throw gasoline on you when your fire is going out, but in a good way. The ying to your yang. The up to your down. That laughs with you at the most inappropriate shit, that understands every irrational thought and who’s always there to remind you who the fuck you are, when you need it the most. 

[findingmyway]

First official post.

Let's see if I can keep this up and stay consistent on these posts. I tend to start a lot of different things and then stop. I am here to basically word vomit my life to you. If you've made it this far, congrats! I promise it only gets better from here. I am a Midwest girl moved to Colorado for my boyfriend. I am a country & water girl at heart (not a huge fan of hiking, snowboarding, or skiing) Nothing makes me happier than a Crash and Bash Derby & beautiful sunsets on the beach with a drink in hand. I am a mom of an almost 2 year old and love my baby more than anything in this world. My journey began as a party girl with a free spirit and no fears. Now, I suffer with severe anxiety and depression. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in on my life. I feel like I've lost control of my life and I've given over the reins to those around me. I am a girl missing her friends, family, and everything she's ever known. And this is my story..

[findingmyway]

Have you ever had to get through a day, smiling at people, talking, as if everything were normal and okay, while all the the time you felt like you were carrying a leaden weight of unhappiness inside you?

Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation (via thebookquotes)

The true feeling of loneliness.