deathbyrecognition

[deathbyrecognition]

Fuck this shit im putting this here with no tags

I donr know what the fuck is going on for me but. Therez something wrong. In my head. Because like. Ive been having a fucked up ass while, i fucking relapsed it got so bad. I also get into ranfren and like ???

I am. Nyon?? I like. Not just kinning (non spiritual) and im. I dont have psycosis or schizophrenia so it. It cant be a d/a but also. That is the closest thing i have to what i feel like im experiencing??

Cause i know. I know im not /actually/ nyon. I know im like. A normal (severely autistic) teenager. But also i am nyon. I ordered a yellow sweater and im making it into his sweater. I. I. I am him??? I cant find any other ways to describe it its just this deep intense feeling that he is me and i am him.

I hated my hair dyed blue, but i cant stop thinking about dying my hair blue so i can be more like him, i dontr know if i maybe just want to be him???? I want to dye my hair green but. But then i wouldnt. Be nyon. And i am nyon. But. But i know im not.

This has to be some from of delusional attachment, like to a degree. I dont know. The only things that keep me like. Grounded is being trans and wearing my fingerless gloves. Because if i dont have my gloves on then its like. My hands are nyons??? I dont know. I need help. Im not going to get help. Fuck me.

I want to relapse to try and take myself out of this but. Nyon doesnt cut himself so i cant either. Plus then luther would probably be disappointed.

Fuck am I delusional??? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Maybe i just need to go smoke. Maybe thatd help.

Nyon smokes.

Fuck.

[deathbyrecognition]

Period sex with Gamzee. Let's be honest, he would because of the specific type of freak he is.

You didn't even think to bring it up since most people won't want to do it. Maybe it started when he was just horny or maybe you'd mentioned getting off helps with cramps. To say he doesn't mind is an understatement. He loves it. He loves the messiness and he loves being covered in your pretty blood. (To a degree that you might find it weird. Especially if you've never seen how he acts around your blood before.) He might have the temptation to bite you, just to see a bit more of that fresh candy blood. He loves seeing the colors mix together. He thinks about how this is what it'd be like if you had slurry like a troll and that gets him worked up too.

[deathbyrecognition]

i have very grabbable hips and no ones grabbing them :/

[deathbyrecognition]

if you're wearing shorts or a tiny skirt on a hot, summer day, and a drop of soda or ice cream falls onto your thigh, I'm morally and legally obligated to lean over and lick it off. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules. if you start purposely letting drips leak onto your legs, I will suck it all off, sighing into your skin and kissing each wet, sticky spot. and if you spread your legs wider, I promise to tug your clothing down, and eat you out until you're drenched in sweat from something other than the heat.

[deathbyrecognition]

Having a size kink is so disgusting. You like being towered over? Feeling small? Getting pinned up against a wall? This Friday night? My place?

[deathbyrecognition]

imagine me as some eldrich deity fucking you. you in my lap, my dick pounding into you, while my hand is around your head, pulling your hair while eldrich runes circle around it, your eyes rolling back in pleasure and madness

[deathbyrecognition]

When they find out you have a Tumblr and what you use it for so they make you lie in bed next to them while they go through all your dirty posts and likes. Of course, you won’t be allowed to justify or explain yourself so they gag you and tie your hands behind your back. All you can do is lie there completely humiliated as they make sure you can’t see exactly what they’re looking at and say things like “Oh that’s the sort of thing you’re into?” “Fuck you’re such a disgusting little slut” and “Maybe I’ll have to give that one a try later” Every once in a while reaching over with one hand to play with your chest to keep themself entertained with your little muffled moans and gasps.

[deathbyrecognition]

rough sex? hell yeah. soft sex? soft sex where the touches are sweet, but still firm. where they slowly slide in and out of you, making you feel every inch of them and beg for more. but they take their time with you, savoring every bit of you before filling you up. calling you sweet pet names and telling you how pretty and good you are for them. <33

[deathbyrecognition]

Being forced to beg is so hot. "Beg for me. Beg for me to fuck you. You've been teasing me all night, you think I'm gonna fuck your slutty little cunt this easy? Huh? Beg for me like the slut you are. Say please."

[deathbyrecognition]

why is teaching/corruption such a turn on for me?? its probably one of my favorite kinks. teach me how to position my body, teach me how to touch myself for you, teach me how to touch you, how to lick you, how to ride you, teach me how to be good for you... please i wanna be good, no, i wanna be perfect for you 🥺

[deathbyrecognition]

Once again thinking about John doe’s dick

I wanna nuzzle my face against his bulge through his sweat pants, let him feel my hot breath on it before sliding them down. I needddd to suck on his tip through his boxers, feel the cotton soak under my tongue, taste his gross precum. Nibble his shaft through the fabric, lick up it. He’s so gross it has to smell bad but I want it in my mouth. Wanna kiss his tip after I pull down the last bit of clothing, kiss just under the head, tongue his slit, whine and suck his shaft. Want him to push my head down when I finally take him in my mouth, make my nose brush his gross greasy pubes until I can’t breathe.

Mmmnmnmnnnnn n nmmnmnnmnmnmnn….. fuck

[deathbyrecognition]

a cute soft subby boy who looks so innocent and blushes so easily when he's turned on, but when you pull down his pants he's got a a gaping, fucked out mess of a cunt, always desperate to be used and abused hard. behind closed doors he sweetly begs to get his holes fucked, always needing more, always craving the feeling of being impaled on something much too big for his poor aching pussy.

[deathbyrecognition]

i love indulging oral fixations, teasing at my sub's lips and chuckling as they open their mouth, silent yet begging. placing my fingers gently onto their tongue, tracing the inside of their mouth as if it's sacred. watching as their lips close around my fingers, warmth surrounding them, and seeing their pupils blown wide from such a simple action. all needy just from my fingers in their mouth.

[deathbyrecognition]

bestie i saw you touching yourself, and like, if you want some help, ya know… like i could suck on your nipples while you fuck yourself, or maybe i could even use your dildo on you!

or i could like, i dunno, pin you down and breed you like a bitch in heat…

[deathbyrecognition]

godddd the idea of playfighting with someone cute and you get a little too rough and they let out a moan without realising it,,,, and you both stop as they immediately go red and won't look you in the eye and suddenly your heart is pounding in your chest and you go 'do that again' and start running your hands over them again, slower this time until their breathing gets heavier and turns to whimpering and they lose control completely

[deathbyrecognition]

the idea of someone strong enough to actually physically lift me up and down on their cock makes my brain shut down

[deathbyrecognition]

Actually sexual and platonic relationships can coexist a lot of u have just been convinced that the final result of all sexual relationships is a romantic one. Sometimes u can just fuck ur friends and it’s fine. Hope this helps