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falckie · 7 months ago

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Damned Man's Dawn

The night is frigid, the sand cold like metal, I finally got the guts to pick myself up and wander away from Goodsprings, into the desert, I picked a random direction and walked.

That was a stupid idea… But ever since I woke up I've been having a lot of stupid ideas… my brain feels like it's buried beneath a thick oppressive fog of white noise. Trying to think feels like sand paper is rubbing between my neurons, my thoughts and memories now lay shattered and splattered in a dried bloody spray back at that cemetery I was dug up from.

I don't know who or what I am… The title of courier doesn't feel right… I feel like I'm someone or something else… If not just a ghost… A shell of who I once was…

And my name… I'm not even sure if it's mine, it's just the first thing that popped into my head…

Luca.

Maybe I thought I'd find answers in the desert, but all I found was some over turned train car and a lone green plastic dinosaur.

I crouch down and pick up the dinosaur curiously, examining it before setting it back down and turning to head back to Goodsprings, a sudden tingling down my spine stops me dead in my tracks followed by a overwhelming dizzy spell and a stabbing pain roaring through every nerve in my body, I fall forward, my body convulsing.

§§§

The sand feels cold… Hollow winds howling… It rattles and whispers… Hounds baying in the hunt… I feel numb… Hues of heat painted into the sky… I lost their echos, their imprints… Hope waning, hunger waxing… I have no reflection… Had I ever a home…?

★★★

A voice rouses me. Are you okay?

I snap my eyes open, staring ahead statically at the plastic green dinosaur, I glance around for the source of the voice.

The voice speaks once more. Oh, can you… Hear me? The voice… It's coming from the plastic dinosaur.

My eyes widen, I stare at the green therapod laying two feet from me in the dust, staring back at me. Slowly, I start to regain my senses and with it the cruel frigid cold of the twilight desert, I smelled blood. I narrow my eyes at the figure, the doubt over if I really did hear a voice settling in.

The voice of the dinosaur interrupts my thoughts. You can hear me, right? Look, if you can, you should really get up, you shouldn't lie here. I stare flatly at the figure, my heart pounding, it continued.

It's cold, it's dark and you're bleeding from your nose. You're going to attract something if you keep laying here like you're dead.

I recover enough from my stupor to respond. "What are you?"

I don't know, I haven't seen my reflection yet. What am I?

"A- A green plastic dinosaur… But… What are you?"

Well, I guess I'm a soul possessing a green plastic dinosaur.

"Oh… L-Like a ghost?"

Sort of... What's your name?

I blink, a cold breeze blowing over the hills causing me to shiver and curl into myself, my muscles tingling painfully. "L-Luca…"

Luca, you need to get up. It's not safe out here…

My throat feels dry, my limbs numb. "I… I can't… My limbs… C-Can't move…"

Luca, you have to try.

I sigh, shivering and coughing dryly. "I-I'm… Cold…"

I know, you should really get up.

"I…I don't think I can…"

Luca, you'll die if you don't get up. You have to get up or you'll freeze to death…

I squeeze my eyes shut, a couple crickets chirped in the grass and a lone coyote howled into the night. I grit my teeth and push myself up with my arms, my muscles tensing painfully, my nerves searing with pain. I gasp sharply, nearly collapsing back into the dust, my body feeling heavy and fatigued, the urge to give in and fall into a deep sleep overwhelming.

That's it's Luca! C'mon! That's it! Keep going!

I manage to move myself into a sitting position and pause to rest, looking towards the dinosaur, panting and shivering.

Scribbled above the figure is some graffiti, worn and faded though still legible: Mr. Cleems.

I look back down towards the dinosaur. "Is that your name?"

Huh?

"The graffiti above you."

What does it say?

"Mr. Cleems. Is it your name?"

The dinosaur is silent for a moment, as if considering something before replying. Yeah. There's a beat of silence before I resume my struggle.

With some minor difficulty I stagger to my feet, my muscles and tendons throbbing and clenching, trembling violently, I glance at the dinosaur.

"Mr. Cleems…"

Yeah?

I debate how to ask this for a few moments before resolving to simply rip the band-aid off. "Can I take you with me?"

Sure, you look like you need a guardian angel.

I smile and with a fatigued voice I cry. "Yippee." I reach over, picking up Mr. Cleems, looking at him with a newfound happiness, I turn to look towards the direction I came from, the faint glow of Goodsprings visible.

★★★

I nearly collapsed back into the dirt on the way back to Goodsprings, just managing to stagger through the door of the Prospector Saloon before my knees buckled.

The saloon was empty, save for Trudy who paused in her cleaning of the bar to investigate the distinct noise of a body hitting the floor. She rounded the corner her eyes widening the moment they locked onto my quivering form.

"Luca! My god, are you okay?" She said, rushing to my side.

Through chattering teeth I speak. "F-Fine… I'm fine…"

Trudy slung my arm around her neck and hoisted me up. "You're freezing! Did you walk out into the desert?"

I nod as she walks me over to a table and sits me down into the booth.

"What were you thinking?!" She sighs and walks to the bar. "Stay right there, I'll get you something warm to drink."

"Otay." I pull Mr. Cleems out of my pocket, examining him. The sudden urge to put him in my mouth strikes me and before I can stop myself I'm biting down on his plastic head.

The hell?! Luca! What are you doing?! Stop!

Trudy placed a mug of coffee in front of me, noticing Mr. Cleems in my mouth her face softened further.

"Are you hungry? Here, lemme get you something."

Before I could protest she was already gone, I remove Mr. Cleems from my mouth and took a sip of the coffee, letting out a strangled cry as my tongue burns.

"Careful, it's hot!" Trudy calls from somewhere within the bar.

The hell did you put me in your mouth for?

I shrug, resting my chin in my hand as I idly trace the stripes on Mr. Cleems, the soft murmuring of the jukebox in the next room over catching my attention when a familiar voice reaches my ears.

I strain my ears to listen…

"Little word has been heard from Nipton, leading to traders thinking the isolated town may be in trouble, in other news, Black Mountain radio…"

Trudy returned with a plate of iguana on a stick. "Here, eat up." I rummage through my pockets for some caps, she stops me. "It's on the house."

"But-"

Trudy raises a hand, cutting me off. "It's the least I can do after you fought off the Powder Gangers with us." With that, she returned to tending the bar, I eat in relative silence, till it's broken when I speak up.

"Hey Trudy, where can I find Nipton?"

★★★

Oh… Gods…

I stand frozen in place, my heart hammering against my chest as the smell of smoke and smoldering flesh and tires fills my lungs. I gag, stumbling back, squeezing Mr. Cleems close to my chest.

A lone flag among a blaze of branches and broken bodies flares angrily in the wind, emblazoned with the image of a yellow bull, I shudder, feeling my stomach drop upon gazing at it, I look back upon the main road, forcing myself to overcome my fawning and move my feet.

WITNESS WITNESS WITNESS

I jolt, flinching violently, the loud booming voice causing my heart to jump into my throat, quickly realizing it came from my Pip-Boy. I stare at it, holding it away from my body in fear, still in a startled state of mind as I tentatively reach a hand over to examine it when movement from the corner of my eye catches my attention, I lift my head and lock eyes with a man wearing a fox pelt. My blood runs cold, a shiver crawling down my spine.

I feel an intense pit of fear resurface within me, swimming within the very bottom of it's depths…

WITNESS WITNESS WITNESS

Rage.

★★★

The sun, blazing on as it set, bathed the sands in shades of rose and red as I left Nipton in a stupor of fear, shock and deep subtle rage, roiling beneath the surface like a mad serpent among reeds.

The words of the fox hooded man echo in the back of my mind, his voice driving me in circles as I feel recollection tugging from beyond the shattered remnants of my mind, yet a deep part of me recoiled at the fruitless attempts to piece together a memory. I feel angry at myself for letting them walk away, though I know full well that trying to fight would have been another stupid, and fatal, idea.

Cresting a hill I pause to survey my surroundings, spotting the sight of sore wounds and split skins, among the colours of dawn, the blood red crimson of the Legion…

Several soldiers sat huddled around a fire. I feel my breath hasten, my heart leaping when I pick up on my presence going unperceived, I drop down into a crouch… Drawing a weapon… My heart hammering in tune with the hammer of my gun as I open fire.

The shock on their faces is sweet, though it's quickly spoiled when their expressions change to fury, they raise their weapons and fire, I feel the bullets ripping into me, the blood pouring out, the pain screaming throughout my nervous system, pleading me to lay down my weapon and run, but I push it away and pursue this rage roiling within, deep down beneath layers and layers of deeply set fear and sadness, like a sea of echos who's origins are lost, the serpent below breaking free, hissing with a newfound venom.

I feel death breathing down my neck, it's a familiar feeling, how she danced with me the night I lost everything.

And I'll keep dancing, I'm not too good at it but I'll learn how to be better so I can be the best damn dancer for death. I'll waltz with broken bones, through burning buildings and into blossoming battlefields, bound to her like atoms in the center of a star.

I stand among the carnage, looking at my now bent and stained machete and back at the corpses around me, the full weight of what I've done hits me like a truck, I feel a sickness in my stomach, though it's only brief as I remember the faction of monsters these people came from, I turn away, averting my eyes, a wave of exhaustion seeping into me, my clothes soaked with blood, my body sore and wounded, I stumble away from the gruesome scene to find a place to rest my weary body.

§§§

Foxes, Dogs, Wolves and Coyotes. Fleeting is the Fox though he is the first, oh what future does he bring with his false face? Foxes, Dogs, Wolves and Coyotes. Dangerous is the dog, how they dig through the dust and drag you into the dark. diving, drowning, dancing… Foxes, Dogs, Wolves and Coyotes. Wailing and wise is the Wolf who learns, their will is strong but wary of wit from the west. Foxes, Dogs, Wolves and Coyotes. Coy you are, Coy You'll be, careful and calculating, come crimson and crows, clean and cold you'll be in clearing and cutting.

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