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"Doesn't the white man know that, if he destroys the forest, there will be no more rain? And that, if there's no more rain, there'll be nothing to drink, or to eat?" –Davi Kopenawa, Yanomami

The speaker, a Brazilian Portuguese scientist, later asked him how the Yanomami already knew this when it has taken him 20 years with a super computer and thousands of scientists and they're just now starting to see this. To which, he responded:

"The spirit of the forest told us."

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Channeling openly

So... last night my ex wife and I got into a heated discussion about whether or not she believed me as to my own experiences with homeopathy and my own observations. It was raw and unexpected and when things got to a head, I started channeling openly for her -- as in, a voice came out while I was still fully present and fully conscious: simultaneous co-conscious channeling. The voice introduced herself as not me and was using a calm tone.

My ex has enough experience in the realm of spirituality and consciousness that this was not going to freak her out the way it did my ex-partner, but it was a weird new experience for me. The voice who was coming through talking to her seemed to calm her down. I haven’t checked in with my ex yet to see how she’s doing. 

So this was weird. A weird new experience. 

I wish all the terrible and adversarial voices and entities and experiences would go away. But I can’t help but hope that this is a turn in a more solidly positive direction. 

Stuck dealing with incessant co-consciousness and semi-possession for nearly 2.5 years now, every day, every waking moment, sometimes infiltrating my dreams. I would so like to have the good things back in my life. My intuition, my reiki, my ability to journey into the Otherworld.  

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In which, Andrés explains that Mother Earth has arteries beneath her skin. He speaks more scientifically than this but the sense is the same. This river is sacred and Ruzo seems to be respecting that, in accordance to the river’s shaman. If only more scientists could be equally respectful of protector shaman’s decrees.

Also, what is it with snake deities? I’m so curious about that!

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there’s no such thing as a stupid reason not to kill yourself.

your school sells cookies on thursdays? your favorite band is coming out with a new album? you’re still saving up for that tattoo? there’s still five sodas in your fridge and it’d be a shame to let them go to waste? you want to see the season finale of that show you love? keep living.

your reasons don’t have to be big, if they mean anything to you then they’re good reasons.

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Him: Do you like looking like a pumpkin? Me: I like *being* a pumpkin. Her: *smiles and laughs with my face; it's not me* Him: ... I think that my nonsensical responses tend to curtail further criticisms... Plus, I enjoy the surreal and the non-sequiturs.

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Are You a Shaman?

Your calling happens when the spirits choose you. Now STOP! This doesn’t mean you can say “Oh, the spirits chose me! I feel them around me!” Because that is not how it works! The spirits choice is indicated through an absolutely horrible experience called “shamanic illness” which you can read about in this link. A shamanic illness is an extremely severe, horribly painful experience that will continue for a very long time, often years. It is so severe that people have died from it. In addition to the previous example, one of my ongodtengertei (with spirits, which is to say: future shaman) friends is often crippled and unable to walk when she has an episode. Another friend who is now a shaman described her as like being constantly stabbed with knives. Almost every shaman and ongodtengertei person I know has contemplated suicide as a way to solve the pain of this illness. That includes me.

Doctors cannot diagnose it, priests cannot cure it

I like this article and it annoys the shit out of me, too. The title of the article needs to be “Are You A Mongolian Shaman?” rather than “Are You A Shaman?” Because the author is solely talking about Mongolian Shamanism, which in an of itself is an umbrella term that encompasses several peoples and traditions, which may or may not overlap entirely. One could point to the fact that the word “shaman” comes from that area of the world and was then generalized to all indigenous medicine peoples, but the author is STILL generalizing, because if the author wants to remain specific, then the author needs to stick with ONE people -- the Tungus people from which we get the word “shaman” (”saman”). The author manages to negate Korean shamans, Sami shamans, Hungarian shamans (Taltos), Sei∂r from the Norse tradition, and there’s a basic thread in the comments and throughout a lot of communities that state that if you’re white or of European descent, then you cannot be a shaman, which is patently false. So: 

STOP! IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY!

Why? Because Spirit chooses and you don’t get to say who can or cannot become a shaman by your own definition, dear author.

The part I quoted here is the salient part. This is what distinguishes the Shaman/Medicine Person from the Shamanic Practitioner. I can call myself a Shamanic Practitioner because I’ve been through Michael Harner’s Shamanic Basics Weekend Workshop back in May. But I’m also eyeball deep in my own shamanic crisis/shamanic illness, which yes, has made me suicidal at times.

I spent this past weekend at a ceremony led by an actual Siberian shaman and when I told her what I was going through and when she saw me in the state I was in this weekend, it solidified for her that I really WAS going through something special -- it cannot be exorcised or extracted, I cannot be cleared. I’ve tried over 5 times to get this off me and to free me from its grasp so that I can move forward.

The spirits are calling on white people because we need white people to transform themselves and their culture from one of despondent complacency to one of conscious action. Spirits are working on white people as much or more than on people of colour because we white people have lost our way. We’ve been colonized by the Church. We’ve been colonized by Rationalism. We’ve been colonized by the same poisonous thoughts that tell us we’re not able to be connected to the Land, and the Land needs All People of All Colours.

My Shamanic Crisis is Psychosis and this past weekend marks my 2 year anniversary of when the voices came to me and never left, even though they’d visited me before and I’ve been in this crisis for three and a half years now. I channel spirits, which I’ve partly done in this post. I do not lose consciousness when I channel -- it’s a co-conscious collaboration. This is how we work together, and this is how we will continue to work together until something else changes because it wasn’t always like this.

The shaman this weekend told me that shamans heal themselves and that the lineages are there in order to help give guidance and a framework for helping the shaman through their crisis -- they’re not there to heal the shaman. They’re not there to protect the shaman from what they must endure. The shaman has to survive it and then shamanize when it’s time to do so -- that is, when spirit tells them to.

It is the spirits who pick the shaman, rather than the person deciding to become a shaman themselves. If the spirits don’t work with you, then you got nothing. If you’re not broken down in some way in order to know what it feels like to BE broken down in some way, how can you possibly know or understand what that process is like for your clients? for your people? the people who will come to you for guidance and insight? You can’t. Simply put, you cannot. And this is what the spirits are doing to me -- have been doing to me. 

The Shamanic Crisis is an ordeal to test a would-be shaman’s mettle. Becoming a shaman -- becoming a healer for your people -- is no small task, no small chore. It is vital for the community, vital for the Land, and vital for the people of the Earth. Earth wants people to wake up to what they’ve done to her body. She wants people to know that it’s time to stop abusing their Mother and to work again towards honouring Her and all she does for us. We are here by Her graces, we are sustained by Her body and her grace, we live within Her field of grace and the more conscious we become of that, the more connected to Her we will become and the more harmonious our own lives will become. 

The Shaman works as an intermediary between the world of spirit and the world of consensual human reality, between the world of Nature and the human world. The Shaman is a walker between worlds and it is spirit in concert with the shaman’s own higher self, who facilitates that process rather than by the conscious act of the shaman. Honestly, if more people really truly understood what it meant to be a shaman and to go through a shamanic crisis/shamanic illness, they’d run like the wind in the opposite direction. This is not anything undertaken lightly. The spirit will knock the ego right out of you and spin you into delusion where you will be trapped indeterminately if you are not able to get your shit together enough to realize how you need to walk in this world. And people will be able to tell whether you’re wrapped up in your own masturbatory need to rescue others and be some “powerful” jackass. This isn’t shamanism. A shaman is humble and has presence, carrying herself through this world with grace.

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Things that are spiritually abusive

Telling people that if God isn’t answering they’re prayers it’s because they aren’t praying properly

Forcing people to conform to gender roles for their eternal benefit

Saying that one living person has all the answers to spiritual/religious questions and must be obeyed

Telling people that God will eternally punish them if they don’t do/believe what you tell them to

Telling people that God will eternally punish other people and that you are responsible for that if you don’t evangelize to them

Hell in general, really, but those two forms are the most toxic

Expecting people to fast to the point where it threatens their lives

Teaching people that they must reject science in order to believe in God

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I no longer know what is me and what is not me the lines have been sufficiently blurred between me and Other that I can’t figure it out anymore.

What I do know is that feeling tentacled tendrils of astral creatures wrapped around my body, attached to my arms, legs, mouth wrapping around my lips into my mouth feeling them there, Portuguese man’o’war tendrils feeling their way into my mouth and into my tongue so they can move me like a puppet mould my face to their own expression talking to me with my own voice is getting to be far more than I can handle

If I thought it would help I’d claw my face off starting with my mouth I’d remove my lips

But then they’d just attach to my exposed teeth it wouldn’t at all release me from their grip more would come to feed off my pain

(this is how some schizophrenics end up trying such self-destructive things -- they sense too much and want escape: it rarely works)

“they” leave when it’s time for them to leave never when I’ve had enough of them

I’m too exhausted to take care of myself energetically: no more saltwater baths inconsistent flower essences no more red thread around my waist, wrists, ankles (I’m sure I’ll be victim-blamed for this at some point)

None of that seemed to help enough anyway none of the clearings, exorcisms, or extractions worked and here I am still stuck here in this invisible hell that nearly no one understands

It’s better than it was easier less dark but still not good enough I’m still not free

I need to eat and I’ve lost my appetite.

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Psychic Attack as Initiation – My Story

By Marguerite Rigoglioso

...I sensed (& had confirmed by seers) that this was coming from interdimensional forces that wanted to suppress me, and it was frightening not knowing just where all of this would end.

This is certainly not what I’d expected from following my bliss. I began to question whether I wanted to be here. The spiritual work was just too hard.

Enough of the Bullshit

I had to get busy & educate myself. The first thing I needed to do was move deeper into my own healing. Because I learned that negative energies can only hook you where your own wounds, weaknesses & shadow proliferate. Often that is why they visit you to begin with – you’ve got something to resolve.

At the same time, I worked with practitioners who had varying protection technologies, and I tried them out, things like making offerings to appease certain spirits, conducting rituals, calling on protective forces, creating visualizations & filters in & around my space, and so forth.

I also learned the power of the love energy in dispelling negative energies through being at a vibration uninhabitable to them.

One of the main paradigm shifts I experienced during that time was the understanding that humans are peers with interdimensional beings, no matter how powerful they seem. That means we can say no. So I learned how to formally assert sovereignty in my space.

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Let’s Protect Mentally Ill Women From Abuse

A 2014 research by UCL and Kings’s College London gave astounding revelations;[ii]

40% of women surveyed with severe mental illness had suffered rape or attempted rape in adulthood

53% had attempted suicide as a result

69% of women in the group also reported adulthood domestic violence from family members, compared with 35% of the general population.

The study proves there is a strong correlation between mental illness and sexual and domestic violence. Women with severe mental illness are up to five times more likely to suffer from sexual violence and twice as likely to suffer domestic violence.

To eradicate violence against women, we certainly have to fight against abuse of women who are mentally ill. The category of women ought to be protected as a high risk target of gender-based violence. They are vulnerable because of both their gender and mental condition.

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Sculptor Turns Rain, Ice And Trees Into 'Ephemeral Works'

On "rain shadows"

These are outdoor works. So when it rains, I lay down or I find a surface quickly that I think will produce a good rain shadow, and I lay there, and when it's wet enough, I get up and there is left me — my imprint, my shadow. That sounds really quite simple, but it is beautifully complex. ... Sometimes it stops raining when I'm half-way through. Sometimes I can lie there for an hour waiting for the rain. And other times it's over in four or five seconds. Often I do them on video, so you have the whole film of laying down and then me getting up and leaving the shadow. ...

I just concentrate on the rain. I've learned so much about rain — the different kinds of rains, the rhythms of rains. And people will say, "Oh, why don't you just use a hose pipe?" That would be totally pointless. The point is not just to make the shadow, it's to understand the rain that falls and the relationship with rain and the different rhythms of different rainfalls. [my emphasis]

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Archangel Ancient Tree Archive

The mission of Archangel Ancient Tree Archive is to:

Propagate the world’s most important old growth trees before they are gone.

Archive the genetics of ancient trees in living libraries around the world for the future.

Reforest the Earth with the offspring of these trees to provide the myriad of beneficial ecosystem services essential for all life forms to thrive including releasing oxygen, sequestering carbon dioxide, providing beneficial aerosols and medicines: essentially a global warming solution.

The planet is large and its needs are great. The team at Archangel Ancient Tree Archive is small and we are not fully funded. We urgently need your help now to allow us to carry out our mission. Only together can we mount an effort to preserve a livable future for our children and our grandchildren. Please give today.

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Could Depression Be Caused By An Infection?

The idea that there could be a relationship between the immune system and brain disease isn't new. Autoantibodies were reported in schizophrenia patients in the 1930s. Subsequent work has detected antibodies to various neurotransmitter receptors in the brains of psychiatric patients, while a number of brain disorders, including multiple sclerosis, are known to involve abnormal immune system activity. Researchers at the University of Virginia recently identified a previously undiscovered network of vessels directly connecting the brain with the immune system; the authors concluded that an interplay between the two could significantly contribute to certain neurological and psychiatric conditions.

Both infection and autoimmune activity result in inflammation, our body's response to harmful stimuli, which in part involves a surge in immune system activity. And it's thought by many in the psychiatric research community that inflammation is somehow involved in depression and perhaps other mental illnesses.

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I Lost a Decade to Schizophrenia: Alice’s Story

Published as part of Schizophrenia Awareness Week in the U.K.

Just because you have a mental health problem doesn’t mean you can’t function at a high level. After four years out of work I made 500 job applications and got just one interview, which was really frustrating. I decided to go it alone, and today I work as a freelance photographer and film maker, as well as studying for a Ph.D. and teaching art at two colleges. The support of Rethink Mental Illness and my local mental health services mean I can maintain that. I also use the Rethink Mental Illness phone line Advice Service which gave advice that felt tailored to me. I asked them about setting up my own business and they did everything they could to get me the right information – on employment, on benefits, everything.

I still struggle with my illness, and I had three episodes when I was unwell last year. Sometimes I can have short-term memory problems related to my schizoaffective disorder, and so I have to overcompensate for that and plan ahead. But over the years I have got to know myself and notice patterns in my mental health.

I lost a whole decade to mental illness, and it is incredibly important to me that people who have a mental health condition are treated with dignity and respect.

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In their bid to revive aboriginal trees, St Ledger and Cook gather seeds from the final vestiges of virgin Irish forest. “We prefer seeds to grafting,” says St Ledger. “Myself and Ted have grown trees from acorns from the Brian Boru, but older trees don’t always produce viable seed.”

Scattered in tiny pockets around the country are the remnants of the post- glacial wild wood that covered much of Ireland for 9,000 years. Due to repeated clear-felling following the Norman invasions, this unique resource now covers just 0.02 per cent of the country. From these wooded remnants, the Woodland League hope to gather a seed bank. Together with their scientific adviser, botanist Diana Beresford-Kroeger, they are preparing a next year to urge communities to collect native tree seeds across Ireland, for future planting. “These are trees that have evolved to deal with the consequences of climate change in a way that non-native species cannot do,” says St Ledger. “Having been in the one place for 1,000 years, they have remarkable DNA, adapted to this biozone. Each native tree has developed unique relationships with insects, mammals, plants and fungi.”

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4 Reasons My Mental Illness Is Not A Halloween Costume

It’s these racist costumes that inspired the Not a Costume campaign. In 2011, Ohio students created the movement to start a dialogue about how cultures and ethnicities are not source material for Halloween costumes. Each year, the campaign has grown to include different ethnicities and other marginalized groups. Now, with the growing popularity of mental patient costumes being sold, mental health advocates have joined the movement. Advocates have begun speaking out against costumes like the “cell block psycho,” “adult skitzo costume,” the “sexy straight jacket costume,” and “psychotic nymph.” [links in original article -- they don’t need more press!]

As someone who has a bipolar disorder, here are four reasons my mental illness is not a costume:

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