crip-writing-shit

[crip-writing-shit]

Dissecting Tomcat Disposables by Will Wood

this is so long and talks about god, Jesus, and major character death, seriously though it’s really long.

Tomcat disposables by will wood is a masterfully done sing about a mouse. The first verse introduces the mouse as a sentient intelligent being. The second verse starts making mouse easy to root for, the listeners get to hear habout mouses hopes and dreams for the future. Mouse is personified and is now more than intelligent but sentient and conscious. Third verse is the bridge, we hear mouse wonder about philosophy and the great beyond. We get a Jesus reference in “wine to water” and then reminded of the inevitable passage of time “life gets short our teeth grow long”. Mouse questions mouses role in the grand scheme of it and decides everything that happens is just nature. Fourth verse is our rootable character facing hardship with grit and determination. We fear for the mouses safety but mouse is determined and strong, in fifth verse mouse lives and all is right in the world. We get the bridge again and it feels very successful and happy. Seventh makes the mouse even more loveable as an optimistic being with dreams and a love of food. Eighth verse fills listeners with dread, fear and sadness as naive and childlike mouse starts feeling the effects of the poisoned food from what mouse thought was a friend. Ninth has mouse trying to live and just doing what feels right, there is not the songs usual energy we are used to, instead it feels slow and certain. Mouse dying feels inevitable but the previous verses leave the listeners with just enough hope that mouses death is truly heartbreaking. The mouse feels mouses death is unfair but comes to accept it as nature. tenth verse is modified bride, mouse again wonders about the world at large but also about if mouses death had meaning. Mouse holds no ill will despite being poisoned. Eleventh is again mouse questioning greater role and twelfth is deciding that there isn't one, it's just nature. All in all this song follows the steps, introduce a character, introduce characters hopes and dreams making character loveable, have character survive hardship to grow listeners attachment, kill character in most heartbreaking way ever. The mouse in this song may have been based on a real mouse but also beautifully encapsulates some struggles of marginales peoples, specifically disabled people who live knowing that they are viewed as lesser than and deserving of death for having a different brain and body.

I have mapped the cupboards and drawers Tracked the least-walked spots on the floor Happy to be home, safe and warm As shadows by their feet, the odd vanishing treat Quietly eating while they sleep Suggests intelligence, unknown motive

So here's where I'll be raising my kids If I can find someone to start a family with We start introducing mouses dreams, humanizing mouse Till then I dream of the day my odds and ends fit mouse is relatable and easy to empathize with I'll wake up, there'll be food on the stove forever This will become relevant later in the song, mouses main dream is comfort and food. And never want for more Mouse is very simple person, wants just food and hopes for love

Is there cheese in the great beyond? Mouse is even more human, thinking about existential things, hints toward themes of death later on. Cheese suggests more that mouse is a mouse Rinds of parmesan, wine to water, night from dawn Bible reference! Life gets shorter, teeth grow long The passage of time gets us all Mind me not and I'll mind my own, and my mind's Mouse just wants to be left alone tbh Not one bite smaller or lesser than yours My brain is different not less than, “bite” goes back to recurring theme of food “on stove” “in great beyond” Do I belong in "right and wrong?" Mouse questions ‘humanity’/ role in world and beyond Nature, I guess Acceptance and almost resignation

One night one flung light through this place The “one” implies one human/ being suggesting mouse is aware of others in house/ not being allowed there So I run for cover, over under, left the rind out on the plate Left food out (again food is big theme for mouse) Little heart racing and praying "something keep me safe Bible ref? Jk just general religion ref, makes mouse seem morally good. “little “ reminds listeners mouse is very small and also a rodent I think it saw my face, okay “It” reminds me of how humans talk about animals (especially those that are unwelcome) One hungry day is nothing, come what may" Grit and determination pt 1

But then winter came inside for three nights Mouse has concept of “inside” suggesting “outside” as well. Mouse knows of “winter” and that it belongs outside. I dont know why winter came in (it got cold) but i think about humans in the home leaving for three nights and turning the heat off ooorrr deliberately trying to kill mouse or get mouse to leave Left me grinding my teeth between my walls and gripping my dreams tight Again we mention dreams to remind listeners that we care for this mouse and mouses future and hopes Curled up kept my head up and put up the fight Grit and detirmination pt 2! Listeners feel relieved that song is suggesting mouse will live! Win for the good guys! I'll make it through again. I have before Mention of previous suffering, makes mouse even easier to root for Come on now, what's one more? Grit! And! Determination! Again referencing previous hardship and the survival of

Is there cheese in the great beyond? Rinds of parmesan, wine to water, night from dawn Life gets shorter, teeth grow long Mind me not and I'll mind my own, and my mind's Not one bite smaller or lesser than yours Do I belong in "right and wrong?" Nature, I guess This second time the bridge feels more determined and successful

Spring bloomed in the kitchen again Concept of “kitchen” and “spring” very smart mouse. So I crawled out of the wall and squinting “Crawled” reminds listeners again of mouses small and rodent like nature being a small rodent. “Squinting” suggest mouses eyes have become unused to the light after what for a mouse is a veryyyy long time. Saw hope on the stovetop just like I'd always imagined it Reference to previous dreams, food again, mouse is hopeful and so are listeners More than I could eat, my dreams were finally reality Dream ref! My struggles had a happy ending, they must want to be friends! Makes seem mouse childlike and cute, naive and optimistic, listeners are either very happy or full of dread. Both can be correct interpretations

My stomach starts to turn, with thirst, why does it hurt? Naivety in not knowing whats wrong “why does it hurt?” mouse thinks its thirst not posion. My just dessert is served again More food ref, “again” further implies previous suffering but can also be heard as “dig in”” suggesting mouses nature as a prey animal existing for others. . Why does the mouse think this is “just”? maybe the nature of mouse being a mouse means mouse deserves suffering. Mouse seems to think so.

And so I stumble back to bed “Stumble” mouse is not walking right, something is wrong. FEAR!!! Something's not quite right. Guess I'll just go rest my head “Something not quite right” Fear!!! Dread!! Mouse goes to rest head, humanizes mouse further. Heart is breaking for mouse Now as I lay me down to sleep “Lay me down to sleep” almost nurturing, mouse is tired and resigned to fate. Where did determination go? I expect no dreams, and no sweet goodbye to me Dream ref again but this time literal asleep dreams, “ no sweet goodbye” because mice are unloved because mice are different than the status quo/ dominant species (humans) Flatline in the morning light. I held on so tight for so long Passing away, mouse singing after death? Reference to mouses grit and how long mouse kept living It's just not right, let a sigh out as I close my eyes It's unfair that mouse worked so hard to live just to die. Mouse sighs and passes away. Resigned to fate Was that all there was to this? Was my life not something bigger? Where is the climax? Where are the dreams? What was all this for? What's for the best? Does my death serve some greater good? Should I not be part of the “greater” just because I'm different? What's up with that???

Is there cheese in the great beyond? Mouse will find out because mouse is dead What's the moon made of? Meet me there after I'm gone Ref to moon being made of cheese, “meet me there” on the moon, suggests non-traditional afterlife beliefs given previous religion mentions. Talking to listener? Human in house? Either way mouse seems to hold no ill-will Life gets shorter, teeth grow long Time passes Mind me not and I'll mind my own and my mind Leave me alone and i'll take care of myself Held the same light as the one in your eyes My life was not lesser than yours, my mind is not lesser than yours, i had a soul and hopes and dreams

Do I belong in "right and wrong?" “What's for the best?” again mouse wonders if mouse is part of the greater good, is mouse just a mouse? Does mouse have a greater purpose? Was mouses death worth something? For the better? One dies alone? And why? Don't know Mouse did not get a family, i don't understand what the “one” is referring to Goodbye. So long To mice in holes Can also be heard as “to mice in homes” or “to my sweet home” the first to being a goodbye to how the wor;d used to be, more friendly towards mice and almost symbiotic, the third interpretation is more specific to mouse and mouses hopes for the future of a home where odds and ends fit as well as mouses comfort in mouses current home and mouses knowledge of it “i have mapped the cupboard and drawers”

Nature, I guess Nature, I guess Nature, I guess Mouse wonders, is mouses death just nature, was it inevitable, or for the greater good? more resigantion from mouse which is heartbreaking after such grit and will to live. Mouse blames no one.

[crip-writing-shit]

wrote an alt ending to the 2025 Dr who xmas special

spoiler!!! Warning!!!! Read more if you are ok with that,

Death!!!!!! And also gagging!!!

The doctor rushes back into the hotel room after critiquing a random lesbian’s sentence structure and finds Joy gagging a bit with a glow in her torso. 

“What have you done” his face falls before she can even answer, he's doomed another one to death, he was supposed to save her. Trev projects from her,

“She's bought us some time but only about 3 seconds, 

“whot?” “Minutes I meant”, “Trev, how do we save her.” 

Joy finally speaks 

“Doctor, I've saved them.”

 “Joy you're going to burn!! You're gonna die!”

 “I knew that doctor! I swallowed a bloody star. Now I've done the hard bit, you just need to get me to a part of space far enough from Earth”

 "No Joy please, I can show you whole universes and species.” 

“Doctor, we only have 2 minutes now and I've swallowed a super bomb  You need to promise me, let this sacrifice save the world. If you don't get me off the planet my death is for nothing, my mother's death would have been for nothing.”

 “Joy I can't lose another one.”

 “She's out sir. Do you have a way to get her away from Earth” 

 “I do suppose it's about time I have a Christmas guest”. He carries Joy and her star through the hallway, to the elevator, through the lobby, and into the tardis. He has to lie her on the floor since he hasn't got any chairs as he flies them to a far corner of space, he disengages the exterior gravity field and tosses his friend into the sky where it is always night, and knowing that she will shine there doesn't make it a bit easier. He lands back on earth, in  Bethlehem 0001 a.c. on  Christmas Eve, and watches the newest, brightest North Star blink into the sky. Joy to the world, the savior’s come. 

[crip-writing-shit]

got to make a zine of my original poetry for a class!!! Will make photocopy’s tomorrow. Might try to upload it as a file to my phone, u did paintings for it as well!! I’m quite proud of most of the poems.

[crip-writing-shit]

driving back home

I watch stars fall

air turns cold and leaves are red

dinner is hot and on the table

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When the clicking of digital dialogue is fast enough it sounds like the squelching of flesh

pixels are so sterile that they rotate back around to being grotesque

I chew on wiring and curse the smell of frying brain cells

I lick the tv screen to feel the static

I overwork my laptop for its burning heat

the capillaries and hardrives

cyboric and wet

I’m gonna eat my phone and transcend you fuckers.

I’m gonna go mad like a teenage girl who got WiFi too soon and a prefrontal cortex too late.

[crip-writing-shit]

my thoughts on the queer relationship between Cripples, sex and society. Heads up for my accounts of street harassment and mentions of abuse. also this is fairly long

I am physically and developmentally disabled but I have low support needs and most people do not read me as developmentally disabled, I am ambulatory with some trouble and very fem presenting. So to a stranger I look like a neurotypical girl using a rollator.

the first time I got catcalled in the city I attend school was when I had injured my tailbone on a hike as well as overworked my knee, at the time I didn’t use any mobility aids but I was wearing a knee brace over my legging. I was limping severely when a car of college age boys stopped beside me at a red light. The called to me saying I dropped somthing and after a minute of me looking behind me and back to them confused as to what I dropped one of them told me to smile, another told me to drop my ass to which the driver (who had been doing most of the talking) said he was sorry. I flipped them off and told him to keep his dog on a shorter leash but I walked home a little more scared. The second time I was catcalled in my city I was walking to the library I volunteer at, I was trying out a new three wheel walker and couldn’t get a steady gait. A man walked down the side walk and paused next to me, he called me beutiful and asked for my number, he walked a few steps with me before going back the way he was headed. In the moment all I could say was thank you because he was inches away from me and I could not run. In society at large there are two main ways disabled people’s sexuality is thought of, one is impossible, disabled people especially mentally disabled people are de sexualized frequently often along with infantilization. On the other hand some disabled people (namely women) are hypersexulized and fetishized. I fear I have figured out that disabled people are seen as having no want or desire for sex AND as being sexual objects for able bodied people (typically men) We cannot be sexual for ourselves but especially when we struggle to move independently we are easy pickings how many disability fetishists just like “helpless” women? How many like the infantilized image of disabled people society projects? How disabled people feel safe on the streets when we are often physically financially and socially trapped in abusive situations.

and all of that happened to a white non visibly queer person. I cannot imagine what it is like for my non white siblings, for my unhoused siblings, for my higher support need siblings. It is scary out here yall.

[crip-writing-shit]

She dies before me  

Body sprawled lifelessly

She lies there

My mildew baby 

The devoted follower 

Of hopeless want 

As she lies there 

I place my hand over hers

And that’s when I know that I belong to her

Wholly and completely 

Holy incompletely

love poem to myself with religious undertones

He lies before me

Arms laid out openly

  Queer crucifixion

He lies there

My king of carbon monoxide poisoning

The patron saint of lifeless love

As he lies there

He places an outstretched hand over mine

And that’s when I know that I belong to him

Wholly and completely incompletely holy

[crip-writing-shit]

you all have my full blessing in fact you have my direct instructions to use these character ideas for your own ocs and add your own ideas to this post. Pretty please, I love crippled characters

disabled non human characters

mermaid with bisected tail has trouble swimming as fast as her peers. She has been offered surgery and when she was younger she wore bands that held her tail halves together but she prefers swimming her way as it feels more natural and she can spin fast!

vampire with food allergies, can only reliably drink goats and cow blood. They always bring food with them because vampire functions never have allergy friendly food. They were made fun of growing up and had to eat at the allergy table

angel or other winged humanoid with one or both wings underdeveloped, he has allot of fatigue while flying and has to go to weekly physical therapy.

I love disabled non human characters who are disabled in their own society not just human society or who’s disability’s do not disable them in human society but do in their own society.

[crip-writing-shit]

I am wax softened by the hellfire that hardened the clay of my peers

[crip-writing-shit]

disabled non human characters

mermaid with bisected tail has trouble swimming as fast as her peers. She has been offered surgery and when she was younger she wore bands that held her tail halves together but she prefers swimming her way as it feels more natural and she can spin fast!

vampire with food allergies, can only reliably drink goats and cow blood. They always bring food with them because vampire functions never have allergy friendly food. They were made fun of growing up and had to eat at the allergy table

angel or other winged humanoid with one or both wings underdeveloped, he has allot of fatigue while flying and has to go to weekly physical therapy.

I love disabled non human characters who are disabled in their own society not just human society or who’s disability’s do not disable them in human society but do in their own society.

[crip-writing-shit]

guess the characters name!

again from the stinky little play im writing, the character is an undead little girl who eats people, is no longer human and is made of roses. Her name is…..

[crip-writing-shit]

I’m gonna talk about my stupid little play some more and no one can stop me

I love being a writer because sometimes I’ll be like ‘uhggg it would be so good if this happened in my play’ and then I remeber, I can write it! But I hate being a writer because everything is a spoiler to me because I am the one writing the ending. And also because I need to pick a name for my stupid play

[crip-writing-shit]

More essay

did you really think I would only over analyze and project onto Doctor who? If so you have been sorely mistaken. Behold my latest creation! Roman Sanders is a surprising good representation of a sibling abuse survivor! Like to ao3 chapter here or continue reading here

head up for non specific talk of child abuse and neglect

I will be trying to write this drawing from cannon only however I have been in the Sander Sides fandom for quite some time and so not all of my characterization will be completely accurate, I am aware that Remus and Roman did not have conventional childhoods with parents as they are only metaphysical but due to the nature of humans dysfunctional sibling relationships occur within a greater family and society with all that said and done let’s get into the meat of it.

A “glass child” is a term used for a sibling of someone with higher needs than themselves and thus the glass child receives very little of the caregivers attention leading to them feeling see through like glass. Glass children most often have medically complex siblings but in cases where a child’s behavior is so dangerous or undesirable that preventing it or limiting damage takes allot of focus and effort from the adults around them the sibling will often end up being neglected, in some cases the glass child will have to assist in caring for their sibling. Roman is very clearly desperate for attention from the other sides, he wants to be praised and looked at and admired. His ego is very fragile perhaps do to his being put aside in order to deal with Remus. When guardians are trying to protect the glass child they may end up keeping things from them because “they are too young to know” or leaving them out of the conversation. We see this in Roman in the beginning of “Dark Side Of Creativity” desperately asking his fellow sides to tell him what is happening and then refusing, he is then knocked out and unconscious for the entire discussion including its resolution, and at least on screen no one thinks to clue him in as to what all happened with his brother.

Sibling abuse is often dismissed and a rivalry or spat but when one sibling has more power over the other out of age, strength or, fear it is known as abuse. Sibling abuse like any other abuse can be Mental, physical, emotional or, sexual in nature and because society doesn’t recognize most cases of sibling abuse the protections in place for abused children let victims of sibling abuse fall through the cracks. Many of sibling abuse cases are what’s called “out of parental control cases” meaning that the parent is not the abuser and cannot stop the abuse easily. These cases are a conundrum because most often putting one or both siblings into foster care would only traumatize them more and so children are forced to remain in unsafe homes, “doesn’t sound like a very fun house” as it was put. Growing up with an abusive sibling we couldn’t discuss what happened during there episodes for fear of the guilt triggering another episode and so I was left out of the loop as Roman is through the episode. Logan wasn’t seriously hurt by Remus while Roman was not only because of belief but because Remus has power over Roman, Roman is cannot be safe from his brother the way the other sides are and with that in mind who do you think Remus takes the frustration of not being able to hurt the others out on? It’s no wonder Roman is so scared of becoming like his brother, is so desperate to rip off anything he has in common with Remus, even though they are family, due to their nature they have more in common with each other than they do other sides and that fact haunts Roman.

Patton prefers Roman. Roman is praised more often in “ The Dark Side of Creativity” more often than most any other episode in the series, but most of those compliments are just because he’s not his brother. “Roman is good!” Unlike Remus “Roman is brave!” Unlike Remus “Roman’s function is important” unlike Remus’ Roman is desperate for praise and yet the strongest praise he gets is when he’s asleep and used to hurt his brother. Roman is the favorite because Remus is the least favorite.

Being abused by a sibling especially one close in age leaves you abandoned by the protections for other abused children, it leaves you isolated from you family while still carrying the burden of being “the good one” it can leave you terrified of becoming like your sibling and sets you up to continue being in abusive relationships.

[crip-writing-shit]

you use my stars to construct your constellations

do my scars spell it out for you?

do my legs read;

brave   

or

weak?

strong

or cowardly?

does my story work for you? 

is it neat and well packaged and clean?

is it messy and gritty like all must-see tv?

what do you see in my calendar? 

the hour long commutes?

the doctor after doctor?

or the time I left open for you?

[crip-writing-shit]

guess the name of a character from my play!

a 20 somthing yr old florist/ herbal medicinist with a family curse!

[crip-writing-shit]

Sometimes being disabled feels like you’re surrounded by people with superpowers, and you’re the only regular human.

Because I don’t really feel like I can do less—I feel normal. I’m so in tune with my own body, my own abilities, my own experience. I’ve lived this way for so long.

But then I look at other people, and see how much more they can do, their stamina, their resiliency, and I’m…baffled. Befuddled. Astonished. They seem downright superhuman compared to me. They seem like goddamn superheroes.

[crip-writing-shit]

he’s the kind of man who takes whatever he wants and never gets what he needs