corpsephage

[corpsephage]

There's been a recent spate of AI-produced Studio Ghibli mock-ups, so I figured I'd make one of my own. According to my sources (hearsay on Twitter) the studio's head honcho himself thinks of AI as "an insult to life itself". Well, take this, life! How'd you like that? Not so high and mighty now! I've already gotten AI to draw you as the Soyjak and me as the Chad! Now why don't you pick up a pencil and sit on it?!

Alright, I'm gonna get serious here - happy April Fools' Day, by the way - I can't pretend to be fond of this whole AI craze. Now look; I'm not completely innocent when it comes to AI. A few years ago, I was actually working on an AI-based video for YouTube, but I pulled the plug on it when I started hearing how voice actors were worried that AI would put them out of work - and this was back in the early days, when you could easily tell something was AI.

I think it's a real shame websites like DeviantArt seem to be prioritizing this AI stuff over the integrity of artists. It's like "artists" are no longer needed around here, which is definitely the way I've seen a lot of people take this. It's like your creative work is just a "product" to be "consumed", not an "entertainment" to be "enjoyed".

With this in mind, I've built my own AI chatbot (in my head) to try and explain what my problems are with AI drawing. If you have any pro-AI arguments of your own in mind, let me hear them. I sure would like to be wrong about this:

“What have you got against AI art?”

It’s taking people’s jobs. That’s really it. If it wasn’t taking people’s jobs, I’d have no problem with it.

“It isn’t going to take artists’ jobs! There’s always going to be a demand for them.”

Alas, I wish that were so. But given the choice between paying thirty dollars minimum for an artist to take weeks drawing one picture, and a robot that will cook up hundreds of images in the hour, all for free, it’s really a no-brainer. The big corporations are going to be gung-ho for AI because, while it’s bad for the creative’s business, it’s good for their business.

“Well, then, you should probably just get a real job and just do art as a free hobby.”

People are going to try and get jobs doing what they love - and more importantly, what they're good at. If someone spends all their time creating, what other job are they going to have? If it's a job their heart's just not into, they're going to half-ass it and likely be fired anyway.

“Now wait just a dadgum second. I’ve seen your YouTube account. You’ve got all that computer-made music on there. None of those are real instruments! Couldn’t you hire actual musicians?”

All those virtual instruments are made by real musicians who willingly put up those samples on the market. Look, if an artist or voice actor willingly submits their art or voice to an AI generator for others to remix, I wouldn’t have so much of a problem. But the big websites don't wait to ask permission.

“You used a computer to make this art right here! You used things like smoothing tools and the undo button instead of an eraser! Why’s it OK for you to use tools to make your drawing easier, but others can’t?!”

I would’ve hoped AI tools would be there to help make the drawing process easier, but I didn’t want it to replace the drawing process itself. It’s like, if you’re struggling with walking, you might get yourself a wheelchair to make moving around easier – AI is like building a robot to go out there and do all the moving around for you. Sure, it’s convenient, but… wouldn’t you rather have some fresh air?

"But AI democratizes creativity! It's no longer just for the chosen, talented few. With AI, everyone can be an artist!"

I think with imagination, everyone can already be an artist. Take it from someone who knows - if there is a "chosen, talented few", I am certainly not part of them. It's not like I'm following some kind of special calling. In fact, I think I'm below-average when compared to most people doing this... so I don't know what anyone else's excuse is.

"Look... you want the truth? I can't draw, alright? And I'm... jealous of all the artists. They're all so cool being able to bring their imagination to life. I wish I was that creative."

Can I let you in on something? Pseudo-artist to pseudo-artist. If I'm anything like the other guys on here... none of us can draw. Let me show you how I made this picture you see here:

Tell me, does that first sketch look like good art to you? And yet this whole picture is nothing more than me tracing over that crappy picture several times, straightening out the lines as I go. The whole thing couldn't have taken any more than three hours. My point is, the "art" that I make doesn't take any talent, and it barely takes skill. It's really nothing more than just knowing how the magic trick is done. The biggest lie I was ever told was that drawing isn't fun.

So, no, I don't need any AI to make my art, thanks. I'm quite capable of being a talentless hack without it.

(By the way, the weird Photoshopped face comes from that all-AI ad Coca-Cola did last year. See, I credit my sources, unlike the AI scrapers.)

[corpsephage]

I just got back from watching the Sonic the Hedgehog 3 movie, which gives me a good excuse to upload something I should've done for Sonic X Shadow Generations.

As to the movie, I thought it was quite good. Definitely the best of the three. Gutted they didn't go to Halloween land like they did in the game, though.

[corpsephage]

Santa Claus is Your Dad

Santa Claus is just your dad I'm sorry to burst your bubble It's better that you know right now And save yourself the trouble

Santa Claus is just your dad And every Christmas Eve He wraps up all the toys he's bought And puts them under the tree

Santa Claus is just your dad In hindsight, this is clear It's not hard to see the resemblance With his weight and stubby beard

Santa Claus is just your dad I'm telling you it's true I'm sure you've noticed how he's given To wearing bright red suits

Santa Claus is just your dad It's all just as you feared Notice how he only works One night of every year

Santa Claus is just your dad I don't mean to be hurtful He couldn't take you to the game He was in the Arctic circle

Santa Claus is just your dad The truth's as plain as day The reindeer droppings on the lawn Are a dead giveaway

Santa Claus is just your dad You must feel quite dismayed He swears a lot when his car stalls Because he's used to sleighs

Santa Claus is just your dad Come on, open your eyes How come all his work colleagues Are only three feet high?

Santa Claus is just your dad He's big and getting bigger It's all the milk and cookies Giving him that snowball figure

Santa Claus is just your dad And do you know what's funny? Your mother's not just Mrs. Claus But she's also the Easter Bunny

Santa Claus is just your dad And all your folks are quirky Your brother's name is Cupid And your grandfather's a turkey

Santa Claus is just your dad And he'll want, I'm sorry to say You to join the family business And you'll get Arbor Day

[corpsephage]

Surge: "Word has grabbed my tenrec ear... have a chilli dog... that you think bad guys oughta come around to bein' good guys."

Sonic: "Yeah, well, y'know... it beats being a jerk."

Surge: "Right... and your old buddy Surge - remember me? - can fix it for you. Have two chilli dogs! You wanna make a deal?"

Sonic: "Lemme guess - you 'fixing' it for me is gonna involve - "

Surge: "Rubbing you out? Ha! I'm past that! In fact, I'll lay it on the line for ya..."

Now, I'm the queen of the villains, oh

The bad guy VIP

I reached the top and had to stop

And that's what's botherin' me

I wanna be a good guy, hedgehog

And stroll right into town

And be just like the other guys

Rollin' around at the speed of sound

Oobie-doo; I wanna be like you

I wanna walk like you, talk like you too

You'll see it's true, a tenrec like me

Can learn to be a hero too

Sonic: "Well, great way of starting your hero thing off... tying me up like this."

Surge: "Now here's your part of the deal, cuz... lay the secret on me of these magic gems..."

Sonic: "The Chaos Emeralds? …I dunno if you should be using - ?"

Now, don't try to kid me, rodent

I made a deal with you

What I desire is Chaos fire

To make my dream come true

Now gimmie the secret, hedgehog

C'mon, clue me what to do

Teach me to gather the Emeralds' power

So I can be like you

*Knuckles comes in and creates a distraction; scatting ad nauseam*

----------------------

I have not been kind to the IDW Sonic comics in the past - if you ask me, I think Sonic is a concept that kind of only works as a video game. But at least they seem to finally be doing something interesting with Surge. I like the idea of her wanting to replace Sonic as a hero, trying to ape Sonic's heroism but drastically missing the point... maybe she'll start painting herself blue. It reminded me of a Disney song, and I imagined her singing it to him.

Realistically, neither Surge nor any Sonic villain would be singing anything to him, but my brain is so rotted I can't imagine a villain capturing the hero and monologuing without them breaking into song.

What I'm saying is, whatever you think of the quality of IDW Sonic's writing... just be thankful I'm not writing it.

God, their eyes are huge.

[corpsephage]

The blowback everyone's having towards Joker: Folie à Deux feels to me like a Pyrrhic victory. It's like I've won, yet I'm not happy...

You know, for arguably the world's number one villain, and certainly the world's number one evil clown... I really don't dig the modern Joker. Nowadays he's either written as an overly-edgy mass murderer or a nihilistic sad clown, but he's rarely ever... you know... funny.

Look, the Joker's quite a simple character - an eccentric supervillain with a circus theme - it practically writes itself. I think the earlier portrayals of him did that concept very well - your Jack Nicholsons, your Mark Hamills. But nowadays I feel like they're taking him too seriously. Joaquin Phoenix and Jared Leto aren't gonna be using gadgets like electric joy buzzers or poison laughing gas while someone walks behind them with a boombox playing their theme... and I feel like we've lost something as a result. Now he's less like a creative supervillain clown and more like Charles Manson in greasepaint.

What brings this on is that the Joker's become such a meme as of late, which is doubly-funny for me because the whole "tragic innocent turned to irredeemable monster" schtick is what puts me off the Joker. I'm sure Joaquin Phoenix does a great portrayal of a mentally-ill loner going down the path of violence calling himself "Joker", but I just can't see that as the comic-book Joker. And apparently the director agrees with me, because the new sequel goes out of its way to show that this guy isn't the comic-book Joker!

I don't know... I don't think my problem really is with the Joker himself. I think superhero stories in general have gotten a bit more "realistic" than they need to be. Then again, the genre's changing all the time. That's why they call it the modern mythology; different people can write it in different ways and it can all technically be "right". So Joaquin Phoenix and Jared Leto's Jokers are both no less "right" than my own interpretation of the Joker (basically a cross between the Postal Dude and Beetlejuice).

Anyway, never let me draw semi-realistically proportioned people again.

[corpsephage]

“I… I was nice today… nice to all those insipid little monkeys and their stupid restoration…

Restoration… what a joke… restoration of what? Of his world. Like the world was designed to be his playground… He’s a fool! A poor, silly little fool…

He could end it all if he wanted… with his hands… those DIRTY hands…!

They think he’s a god… but he’s as mortal as we, I know… Just one… quick… WISP…!”

A recreation of this image based on this semi-official fan comic. Though I'm not sure I'm supposed to interpret Lanolin as homicidal...

[corpsephage]

Alright, fellow weirdoes, it's September 1st. Ten-month vacation's over. Back to the grind.

[corpsephage]

(TW: drugs)

In honor of Angel Dust's hilariously-timed birthday, here's my own Hazbin OC: Angel's cousin Sherm Stick, who died attempting to shove a watermelon up his nose.

[corpsephage]

Is this you? Then here's a tutorial I made about narrative structure that'll leave you even more confused:

[corpsephage]

Now the cat's out of the bag, I'm pleased to announce my first "professional" gig as an "official" character designer for Grand Theft Auto VI (except not really, it was a scam request)!

Don't believe me? Well, here's the (obviously fake) DM I got to prove it!

Alright, seriously, I am not working on GTA 6 and haven't been approached by Rockstar to do so. I needed an excuse to draw something, and when GTA 6 got prematurely announced I thought it would be funny to dredge up this old message.

That said, I am willing to do some character commissions for anyone who wants them. My prices and further information can be found here:

[corpsephage]

You know, that Sonic Dream Team looks like just the kind of direction I was hoping they'd take in the wake of Sonic Frontiers… how come it's only an Apple exclusive?

[corpsephage]

Happy Halloween! Here's something I did for the Monster Mash competition they were having on DeviantArt.

I made my first almost-speedpaint out of this one - I say it's almost a speedpaint because the picture took 3 hours and 45 minutes to do start-to-finish (1 hour and 15 for the coloring). Have you tried fitting all that into a 3-minute song?

Music: Creature Feature - Every Day is Halloween

Made in Paint Tool SAI, last-minute oh-crap-I-gotta-fix-this alterations in Photoshop.

[corpsephage]

Anyone else catch that Nightmare Before Christmas reference in Sonic Frontiers? You know, where Sage asks Sonic what he's going to do, and Sonic says he's going to do the best he can? Then he tries shoving her in a cooking pot and Amy cuts off her leg...?

[corpsephage]

Here's me bluffing my way through making a pixelart tileset in Photoshop to use in Godot.

[corpsephage]

Here's me trying to navigate Blender enough to make a simple character model. You know, for all the smack-talk I give video game franchises... it's not like I could do any better.

[corpsephage]

It begins!

I love how clandestine the whole idea of Halloween season is. For the rest of the world it's just World Vegetarian Day, but for us, everything is haunted and we've all turned into monsters.

[corpsephage]

Sonic Frontiers Post-DLC-Three Whinefest Redux (Final Horizon Review)

After feeling left out in the cold with my divergent opinion on vanilla Frontiers, it feels good to finally share an opinion with the rest of the fanbase again. Spoilers below, but the skinny is that it's just like normal Frontiers except a lot more difficult.

I forgot to mention one thing that put me off Frontiers in my pre-DLC review: I just couldn’t handle the controls very well. I think this is just a skill issue, because I did eventually get used to them. It took my ten attempts to beat the first boss, but only one attempt to beat the last one.

So, when I fell right off the first platform of the first trial tower for the seventieth time, after spending time maxing out all of Sonic’s capabilities no less, I assumed that the problem was with me, and the game just did not cater to my ability or taste. But when I checked out Twitter – everyone else was talking about how hard it was! They were going so far as to compare it to Dark Souls. It made me feel so relieved. And a little bit of schadenfreude.

At this point I was about to turn it off and just watch a playthrough of it on YouTube to see how it ended. I’ve only rage-quitted a game like that once before with Drawn to Life: Two Realms, which is a whole other story.

But friends, thank God for easy mode. I switched the difficulty and it was smooth sailing. I don’t think there’s any shame in playing easy mode – you bought the game, play it how you want – but I had it on normal mode from when I first got Frontiers up until this stupid tower. It makes me wonder if I’d have been nicer about Frontiers as a whole if I played easy mode from the beginning.

But yes, going through the rest of the game on easy mode was a lot more manageable, except for that one part where you have to defeat those shell enemies in a certain amount of time with nothing but the cyloop. If there's a way of doing it, I don't know what it is, and I only got past it when the game took pity on me and offered to lower the trial's difficulty to something easier than easy.

But other than that, no major complaints. All my problems with the empty open world and weird plot still stand, but gameplay-wise everything was just fine. Then this prick shows up:

- and makes you fight all three non-final bosses from the base game in a row with only 400 rings to spare between them, bearing in mind your rings are constantly draining while you're fighting them, can't be restored, and if you run out it's an instant loss. Also, parries don't work unless they're bang-on perfect.

And I really struggled with the first boss in the base game! And yes, most of that was my fault, because I didn't bother to parry his attacks, and parrying is like the main mechanic that all the bosses are centered around. But I was also cocky: I thought that if Sonic ran out of rings by timeout, his super form would go away and he'd fall back to the ground along with the emeralds, and you'd have to run around the arena to pick them up again quickly before Giganto had time to heal or something. So when I ran out of rings and Giganto straight-up ate Sonic I was surprised. And I admit I got quite frustrated having to start over from the beginning every time until I slowly figured out what the boss wanted me to do.

So I beat Giganto again in this rematch, and I thought at first that was the end of it and I'd just have to fight the one boss, which was a natural step up from the other koco's challenges. But then Wyvern showed up, and it suddenly dawned on me that not only would I have to fight all of them, and my rings didn't refill between fights so I had only like seventy left, but also that if I lost, the game wouldn't start me over from the boss I was on, it would kick me back to Giganto and make me do it all again.

Obviously, there was no way I was beating Wyvern with only seventy rings, and I don't think I was quick enough to even parry it once. So I made a deal with the game and said “If I die here and the next thing I see when I respawn is Giganto, I’m turning the game off.” You can’t say I didn’t warn it.

So, yes, I actually did end up rage-quitting Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon, and I just watched how it all ends online. I didn't stick around to see if the game would make itself easier if you failed the bosses enough times. Maybe I would've been able to pass it if I kept trying, but since I wasn't wild on the whole game to begin with I didn't feel like it.

Turns out if you somehow finish the boss rush, the endgame comes straight after. And I wasn’t really missing much, by the look of it – first half of the final boss is the same as in the original game. It’s Giganto, except he’s got a gun. The second half is a bit different – it’s Giganto, except he’s got a big brain-drainer/puppet-string coming out of his head and several arms coming out his back. The big purple rock is hovering in the sky, but rather than QTE-ing it, Eggman fires Super Sonic clean through it after Giganto is beaten the second (third? Fourth? However freaking much) time. It’s got a lot of visual flair, but I really wish you could play as the other characters as well, so that the final fight feels more fully absorbed.

The ending sequence is the same too, except Sage doesn't sacrifice herself this time, and she and Eggman get their happy ending instead of a post-credits sequel hook. But while it might make Sage fans sleep a little easier, I think SEGA might have written themselves into a corner with her. The whole thrust of her character was a mopey AI that just wanted to be loved, and now she has it... what are SEGA going to do with her if they bring her back?

If she comes back evil, and joins Eggman in raining merry hell on Sonic and his friends, won't that contradict the canon of Frontiers, where Sonic taught her hope and heroism? And if she comes back good and on Sonic's side, won't that also contradict Frontiers and her loyalty to her father?

Would she go join all the other Sonic antiheroes on Team Dark? But even they have their motivations - Shadow started off a villain but realized he was being a jerk and tries to uphold world order. And while Rouge is a master criminal, she's not mean-spirited - she might rob you or cheat you out of money, but she'd never want to hurt you. What's Sage's motivation? She doesn't really get to develop a personality of her own by the end of Frontiers.

Imagine after the final boss, Sage comes up to Sonic and says she’s been thinking about her place in the world. Sonic asks her what she wants out of life, only for Sage to suddenly flash him the most deliciously evil grin an AI can muster and tell him what she wants most is to use his skin as a fur coat. Eggman comes up behind on his egg-mobile, gleeful that his daughter has finally come round, and the post-final boss is a blow-off match between Sage and Sonic, plus the other playable characters joining in on the fun. And behind the keyboard, I stand up and applaud. Maybe that would clash with Frontier's tone, but then at least Sage would come into her own and indicate her appearance in future games.

So, yeah - The Final Horizon - really didn't dig it. If the original Frontiers didn't interest you, this won't change your mind. However, there is one good thing I want to bring up that I hope Sega explores in the future: the other playable characters.

I really enjoyed playing as Tails, Amy and Knuckles. Each of them has Sonic's basic moveset, but also their own powers and abilities on top of that. Knuckles has the most familiar of movement, with his gliding, wall-climbing and seven different ways of punching people. His gliding controls take some getting used to, since it's more like wingsuit-gliding with wind resistance blowing you about the place than the simple jump-and-go Spyro-style gliding from the Adventure games.

Amy's moveset is centered around a deck of tarot cards she was mentioned to have been using in, like... one very early manual for Sonic CD. But still, I think the idea of her using magic cards has a lot of potential. Maybe different cards do different things in battle? Kill the enemy by changing their very future? Maybe it could be something like Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, where the cards are all shuffled up and you have to pick which card to play at which time. There's a whole unique aspect of gameplay available to her there. Sadly, Final Horizon sticks to standard things like throwing them at people or slapping them, and doesn't take advantage of their clairvoyant or paranormal themes. Ah, well, maybe next game.

But Tails deserves special mention, because he has the most varied abilities that make use of his wacky inventions. He can launch a laser cannon at his enemies, or failing that hurl an endless supply of wrenches at them. But you know what my favourite was? His airplane. One of Tails’ abilities he can access at any time is to just hop on his plane and go off into the blue yonder. The speed and simplicity with which he could do this at the press of a button is intoxicating. I was furiously humming Ride of the Valkyries as I cruised around Uranus Island wishing it was a livelier open world. If these are the abilities we can expect from Sonic's friends, the next game could be very exciting if the level design matches up with it.

If vanilla Frontiers showed me that Sonic can work in an open world, Final Horizon showed me that his friends can too. And it's something I really hope SEGA picks up on in the future, because they really do have the bones of a great Sonic game in here, it just needs more time to cook (and a saner difficulty level).