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Revive - perspective change and reconnection of mind with feelings & emotions

"Das Leben findet einen Weg."

[compounds-of-my-wavefunction]

Revive - perspective change and reconnection of mind with feelings & emotions

"Das Leben findet einen Weg."

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"Behalte stets einen kühlen Kopf und bewahre dir die Wärme in deinem Herzen."

- Rational zu bleiben und gleichzeitig mitfühlend zu handeln ist gesünder als hitzköpfig und kaltherzig zu reagieren.

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I have become a stranger to myself.

Also: I am stranger than ever.

it's all too surreal.

It feels shapeless and I appear vaporized to myself.

-Nonsensical thought loopings.

i am tired. tired of struggling. i want to sleep and not be reminded of past experiences all the time.

I want to feel safe again. I want to go home.

I want to feel at home.

- utterly incoherent splinters of thought.. my memories and perception are like jigsaw puzzles thrown together...

i am tired.

I want a place and time where I can sort the puzzle pieces.

please, give me a space to be and heal.

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Emergence of personality - this is my attempt to depict 'personality' as a sort of dynamical system, offering emergent properties...

What is a personality?

Personality is the 'form of self' - it is a collection of character attributes, to summarize it simply. Furtherly, the form of self is characterized by patterns in perception, thought and feeling.

The form of self goes hand-in-hand with the 'function of self': behavior.

[I think this perspective is similar to Jung's ideas on Triebe/drive. ]

Starting from here I try to translate these concepts into some sort of algorithms.

[Theoretical stuff: ]

[Practical stuff: ]

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(Partiell) sinnloses Zeugs.

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Ich hab grad noch etwas am Algorithmus für Selbstwirksamkeit gearbeitet und eine verallgemeinerte Form hinzugefügt [Kugelschreiber und Textmarker]

(psych ∩ math)

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I drew these in 2012.

Interpretation of the left drawing with the dagger and the ribbon.

The ribbon is hold with chains. It does not symbolize (rigid and freedom-lmitting) imprisonment. It symbolizes a secure hold, like a holding and supporting hand.

The dagger can swing independently in that ribbon construction.

The dagger has two sides: a lighter and smooth/soft one, and a darker one with barbs (Widerhaken). The barbs are aligned in a way that if you insert the dagger into a "pain body", it will hurt extraordinarily. But if you remove the dagger afterwards, the pain will become less. It symbolizes the liberating aspect of confrontation with pain, as old thought patterns got questioned and destroyed (such as "life is meaningless and this is depressing!") towards a perspective/interpretation shift and re-evaluation; such as "Because life has no pre-defined meaning it gives me the opportunity to create meaning myself, and this is fuelng me with hope and motivation." - This is a liberating aspect of a re-valuation that is followed by a phase of confronting with one's own deepest pain and fears.

Interpretation of the rI ight drawing with the turtle shell as jewel

I think it symbolizes the many facets I can have, and that, sometimes, I use certain facets as "turtle shell", say, as a securing mechanism to secure my soft core (like the soft body of the turtle that lies within their hard shell).

The shell is emitting something in the drawing. I think it could symbolize the deep-seated compassion and hope I have inside me, which is still radiating outside myself and not just stays inside (as if I am a radioactive joy ball). It may symbolize that sharing my joy and hope is my attempt to brighten someone else's day - or merely, it might be merely a side-effect.

I share my thoughts as I like to share them. Perhaps some might find something enjoyable in these thoughts.

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Things I did today (yesterday actually, considering it is already after midnight right now) Pt. 5 [Art/crafting/sorting]

I sorted my art series Isles of time (from 2014).

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Things I did today Pt. 4 [Art/crafting]

I sorted and laminated my art series "Cubic extraction of the hyper-spherical plane".

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Things I did today Pt. 2: [Math (calculus)]

Summarizing some stuff about derivative graphs

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Things I did today Pt. 3: [Art, crafting]

I printed some of my poems (Project: Fio ergo sum/imaginativum), then made this booklet and inserted it into my special interests file (Sometimes I refer to that file/folder as my "Datenklumpen" - data nugget. 😅)

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Things I did today Pt. 1 [Psych.-related concepts]

- An Autogenese/Selbstverwirklichung-Konzept [Psych.] weiter gearbeitet

- Selbstwirksamkeit-Algorithmus - Zettel digitalisert (eingescannt)

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Archiving my psychosis stuff...

Keine Ahnung von wann das Zeug ist. Gefunden in einem Stapel Nonsens.

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Grad gefunden in einem Haufen alten Zettelzeug von mir. [Ich sortiere meine Wohnung zur Zeit.]

Ich vermute, dass ich das ca. 2016 gezeichnet habe.

Es ist voll surreal, wie mich diese Worte gerade zu dieser Zeit zum Nachdenken bringen.

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2022/08/11

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Ich schrieb heute (2022/08/11) weiter am Thema "Steno-Denken" , also stenografie-ähnlichem Denken als metakognitive Methode.