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EVAN BUCKLEY | 9-1-1 s5ep5 “Peer Pressure”

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the same slow turn, by the way. if you even care

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Henren hs!au, science nerd Karen and sporty Hen for @/nessadingle as a prompt for @911actions

I was imagining a kind of "to all the boys i've loved before" kind of set up haha-- but any romcom would fit them tbh!

Prompts are now closed for this event, but still consider sending an e-sim or donating funds today! 🔗gazaesims.com 🔗https://chuffed.org/project/crips-for-esims-for-gaza

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2.02 // Eddie just walking

Define "Perfect Profile"

(+) Close-up

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911 gif meme: [3/6] Characters ☆ Josh Russo "There's a pre-Glee world and a post-Glee world, and you, my friend, were lucky enough to have your sеxual awakening in the post-Glee world."

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#just cancel season 8 already 😭

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Buck + Eddie through 5B

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does absolutely baffle me when people are like. buck's an adult!!! why would he not be sure of his own feelings!!!! first of all, super infantilising towards people with mental health issues and who struggle with recognising and naming their emotions. but i already made that post. so SECOND OF ALL. like, did you—did you watch the show? at all. because this is an issue clearly born from trauma that we saw on our screens. in front of our eyes. hello??????? you can trace it right back to his childhood. when his feelings were consistently dismissed. when he was made to feel like his feelings were wrong and imagined. and you can follow it right into adulthood too. buck spent so much of his life feeling abandoned, neglected, like nothing he did was ever right or good enough. all the while his parents were acting like nothing was wrong. buck was feeling all of these very real, horrible things. but he was made to feel like they weren't real. that they weren't valid. like it was all imagined. like he couldn't trust his own emotions. he was lied to for years and years. he second-guesses his feelings and misinterprets or misplaces them because he was consistently made to believe he could not trust his own feelings. so well. OF COURSE he's not sure. of course he struggles to recognise his own feelings. and even when he DOES. he can’t trust them. gets it all mixed up. needs someone else to tell him what he's feeling. to confirm or deny it. (and sometimes those people are. bad at it.) because how does he know??? how is he supposed to know when he has no blueprint??? how is he supposed to trust his own feelings when they've been so often dismissed???

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s1 moments that make me scream 15/?

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s1 moments that make me scream 5/?

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The continuous game of tag between happiness and I - Original

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concurrently, my predictions for the following three seasons are this: buck's s6 arc is about finding meaning in his life. now that he didn't find it in a romantic relationship, he begins by thinking maybe he needs to be thinking about professional advancement. or maybe he needs to provide help to an old friend so that he may have a baby with his wife, maybe that's the meaning he's searching for. and then he dies and gets brought back - brings himself back - and there has to be a meaning to it, he has to give his death and the fact he survived anyway some meaning, has to make it count- maybe he needs to settle down in a romantic relationship. wounds are opened even as he pretends they aren't.

buck's s7 arc is about his own uneasiness with himself and his feelings, and how realising he's attracted to men as well as women not only opens him up to learn more about himself and understand himself but also makes him so happy. it settles him; he's been searching for something, and now he’s found something. there are things he doesn't know, that he's unaware of, but that he then finds out about and dives head first into dealing with- his bisexuality and his desire to pursue something with tommy, but also eddie's breakdown. and the confidence garnered by accepting his own sexuality is what allows him to start dealing with everything else when it comes out.

in s8, so far, it seems, that confidence lasts because even as the rest of his life is steeped in uncertainty- gerrard as their boss, accidentally hurting him, all the while chris is still gone -he has no doubts about his romantic relationship. this comes back to bite him when tommy breaks up with him, which is what finally throws him off-kilter, because he thought he’d at least had this part figured out. and the feeling is only worsened when eddie announces he’s gonna be following suit. even as buck has changed and grown and matured so much, he's being confronted with the fact that he'll still always end up here, reeling from watching another person decide to leave. and now maddie is being kidnapped again too. nothing changes.

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okay my thoughts right now, watching through the show the first time and having just finished season 5:

buck's arc in season 1 was about maturation. learning important lessons about his job as a firefighter. growing from 'buck 1.0' to 'buck 2.0', learning how to be in an actual adult relationship, to be there for people he loves, be that chimney, bobby, abby.

buck's arc in season 2 is one of steps forward and setbacks. he gets his sister back in his life and they rebuild their relationship, he forges a strong friendship with eddie and even bonds with his son, he moves out of abby's apartment and starts dating again- and just as everything is on track he almost gets killed on the job, and he ends the season with no girlfriend, no job, no 118.

buck's arc in s3 is about his fear of loneliness and being left, and becoming more secure in the connections that he does have. the entire lawsuit and his motivations for that, and the resolutions he finds in making up with eddie and bobby. throughout the season he fears he'll lose bobby, or maddie, or eddie, but he doesn't have to go through losing any of them. red's life and death, and maddie's reassurances, and finally getting closure for abby.

buck's arc in s4 is about his worth and his place in the world. this is the season in which he starts and then presumably stops going to therapy. it's about going back to the root of buck's identity, when his parents come to visit and the truth about daniel's illness and his birth comes out, when he nearly dies but his team comes to his aid, when he says he doesn't know what 'being buck' even means- and it's resolved in the final two episodes when buck wishes he was shot instead of eddie but is assured he's wrong to think like that. he has a place, and it's time he starts recognising it.

buck's arc in s5 is about his relationships. two of the people he loves most leave, he doesn't see them or his niece for months, then eddie says he's leaving too and all buck can do is cling to who is still there. buck feels responsibility and he wants to fix all this, but he's unsure how he can provide help- to chimney, to maddie, to taylor, to eddie, but he does figure it out eventually- he supports them and ends the season in one of the most stable places we have ever seen him- having finally learnt how to break off a relationship, and none of the people around him in major crisis anymore. ready to go forward.

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don't think about Maddie watching Buck get hurt over childhood and she knew why he was doing it but she was doing it in her own way too so what do you even say. she tried to find herself by leaving her parents, into a relationship with someone who promised her care and space away from them, but he hurt her over and over. she had a Jeep, one thing of her own, and she tossed the keys to her brother who would never find himself at their parents' home. she thought she lost their chance to be free together by sending him away alone. and then he kept writing to her because when you're raised by Maddie, how do you not learn to try? when you're her brother, how do you stop loving her? she didn't stop either, did she? so he writes and she reads and they both stumble on and on till there's Los Angeles. till she chose herself and found him. and he lost his first love but found his sister again. it was always them, always gonna be them, a united front even when they were apart.

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@summerofbuddie week one — mixed media ↳ some of my favorite buck/eddie pining songs [insp]

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Pleas don’t skip 🛑 We are now being drowned. This is the beginning of our New Year. We are now dying from the cold. My little girl froze. There is no clothes or cover. Save us from the death of the cold and the death of bombing. Please share and donate. Stand for us. We need you.🙏

We are now being drowned. This is the beginning of our New Year. We are now dying from the cold. My little girl froze. There is no clothes or cover. Save us from the death of the cold and the death of bombing. Please share and donate. Stand for us. We need you.🙏

gofund.me/bec64b33 plz pst