bottled-cherry-wine

[bottled-cherry-wine]

hey everyone!! haven't posted here in forever. i wanted to pop in and share something quickly.

i mainly post about the worst parts of healing from parental issues, but for the first time in about 5 years i'm at a place where i'm mostly at peace. not completely, but a lot better for sure. i still have the bad memories but life has grown bigger around it with good people.

i still carry a lot of anger in me, and forgiving my parents almost feels like im betraying myself, but i think it might be something i have to do to truly move forward.

i hope you're all well and i hope you'll get peace and closure someday too.

[bottled-cherry-wine]

to this day i silence my crying at night, as if you were still in the next room.

[bottled-cherry-wine]

when i have exhausted every way to destroy myself and every blade is dull, i will call you again. hearing your voice and having you near hurts more than any stone that has ever been cast on me.

[bottled-cherry-wine]

real

[bottled-cherry-wine]

how monsters are created, and by monsters i mean girls with mommy issues

fyodor doestoevsky / the brothers karamazov // fiona apple // tumblr user nipplering // paul guest / 1987 // blythe baird // if my body could speak

[bottled-cherry-wine]

milf (mother i'd like to forget)

[bottled-cherry-wine]

written by a bad daughter, fall 2022

[bottled-cherry-wine]

your child had to learn to love themself after years of hating themself because of constant criticism, they had to learn to love every part of themself, their “flaws” and who they are. if the only love they ever got was from themself, then maybe you didn’t do such a good job as a mother

[bottled-cherry-wine]

on mothers

Nayyirah Waheed, Salt//Annie Ernaux, I Remain in Darkness//Ella Wilson, Take Care: Mothers, Daughters and Inheriting Self-Hatred//Sam Gordon, A Mother's Hate//Karl Brjullov, The Last Day of Pompeii//wych elm, Susan Smith//Lady Bird (2017)//@bitterl//Pheobe Bridgers, Kyoto//@filmnoirsbian,the killing grounds//Acacia, mommy//John Green, Turtles All the Way Down//?

[bottled-cherry-wine]

it's so funny how not being loved by my mother gave me a murderous rage whilst not being loved by my father gave me a clingy ass and an amazing sense of humor

[bottled-cherry-wine]

toxic parents will traumatize you and act surprised when you act like you've been traumatized

[bottled-cherry-wine]

learning to be my mother

What We Become, Hailey Noecker / Mirror Traps, Hera Lindsey Bird / unknown / On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong / legitimately fucking dean winchester from supernatural / Elektra, Sophokles / When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities, Chen Chen / The White Dress, Nathalie Leger / Sharp Objects, Gillian Flynn

[bottled-cherry-wine]

[bottled-cherry-wine]

I used to miss my mother everyday. I often thought about messaging or calling her, no matter if we would talk about the past or not. I would've let her off the hook again just to have a mom in my life. Some nights I would miss her so much I cried until I threw up.

Once the grieving period was over, the feeling that replaced it wasn't calm or content. All I have left of her is rage. So much anger I don't know where to put it. Part of me still wants to call her, but not out of sadness or hope. I want to yell at her until my throat hurts and I'm gasping for air. I want her to feel at least a fraction of the pain she put me through.

[bottled-cherry-wine]

There's quite no hate like a mother's love.

[bottled-cherry-wine]

(mother)

original artwork by ladyoftheburg

[bottled-cherry-wine]

all i have is lizzo. everyone else talks about diets and surgery and working out to "look snatched" and its so fucking tiring like why can't you just be. why can't i just be. there's no rest.

if one more female artist that makes songs about self love loses weight im sticking my head in a meat grinder im so serious