beyondallreach-blog

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She's even elegant in her sleep, I don't know how I could ever deserve something so beautiful.

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Lilac:

Heavy are the hands that grow old,

Their digits bend at odd angles,

Unwillingly they remember brushstrokes,

What to do now that the body trembles,

A vision of the youth his body forgot,

To him now life is an afterthought,

Which is the original and which the shadow,

It's almost as if the body hosts an echo,

Still hands that let the tubwater overrun,

The flower will turn away from the sun,

[beyondallreach-blog]

Some song ideas:

V1:

Hold the door for another shadow of a bored man nears it,

One more hour till I'm halfway through the first half of my Monday shift,

V2:

The TV screen it seems is upset sbout the ozone again,

It hasn't not bothered me yet so I forget to stop watching CNN,

C:

I think its time,

We call it quits,

I think I can understand where your coming from kid,

We all once were young and had your same spirit,

A kitchen sink that doesn't hold water anymore full of dirty dishes,

We all come from homes with glass walls that still host our deepest wishes,

V3:

Hold the phone another 4 cord tone entertains me for a few seconds,

A clone of a clone- the tune will haunt me when I try to go to bed,

[beyondallreach-blog]

I am a rusty stop sign nobody ever knew,

A four way people can't help but run through,

I am a trusty nail but somehow I get screwed,

I'll hold you down but you'll bend my grooves,

[beyondallreach-blog]

If there is one concept man will never conquer, it is the passage of time.

The erosion that will chisel away at all things for all of eternity.

Nothing is excluded from this eulogy of fact.

All things will one day will be no more than dust.

The greatest achievements of mankind,

No more than paper obliques that will one day cast no shadow.

The greatest enemy of progression isnt some foe of flesh

Just the passing of each weathering second.

All the progress in all of history in the scale of material exsistance is purely wasted.

We often don't acknowledge this fact. And for what reason?

Even if we could grasp it, it would serve no purpose.

We chose ignorance.

[beyondallreach-blog]

The painter says more than the poet for what its worth,

You're the water mark on my brain that's worth a thousand words,

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Rough draft of Absorber:

V1:

They say time is a human construct,

So what if love is too,

Its in our nature to self destruct,

But who really lights the fuze,

V2:

I'd take all the credit but am I really the maker,

I may have wrote it but who's voices in the paper,

I'm still waiting for the day you finally interprupt,

My dues are in time I've spent only to fuck up,

Pre c:

Of all things not even lights reach is infinite,

I wish I'd find comfort in my insignificance

C:

Oh absorber- I know you're the thing that confines,

Pushed towards a chapter filled with deadlines,

In order for the world to move forward I see,

In bigger picture where I will become obsolete,

V3:

I'm kindling that in time will burn,

Making way for new life to grow,

My ashes will fertilize a new earth,

Name will fade until

[beyondallreach-blog]

For context: recently I found out my girlfriend of 4+ years was cheating on me for months with my best friend before our break up and they are now publicly together. I devastated for a while. I had helped her through an abusive family, her own mental parels, and was essentially devoting my life to her. Now she's just another sadness ill have to live with. But I've found writing lyrics to be my biggest comfort:

First draft in Missery Index:

You're a leach,

Anything that will spoon feed you is enough to keep,

You will taste dirt,

You've chosen to die by your generational curse,

My revenge will be within the paper and pen,

My words will burry you with your transgressions,

A dead end decision fitting for a dead end life,

I wish there was more to the story but you're simply not one of a kind,

Your biggest burden is your own decisions,

So scared of change you chose to relive them,

No one will deliver us from the evil within ourselves,

The only person who can save you is the one that put you in this hell,

You're no longer my burden to bare,

The best thing you ever did for me was leave,

It's hard to love when no heart is there,

Now there is no path left for you to lead,

You are the weakest of sheep,

There will be no sympathy over your grave,

No marks will be made- the stone will bare no name,

Each page you burnt to cover your self interest,

But its hard to hide when you're the author of the misery index,

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First draft of Edenic:

You offer no solace you plant no seed,

You bring nothing to the bigger picture but still want a piece,

Your want bottomless but still you feed,

If you want a cut it will have to be you from the tree,

So sick of hearing you want this to get better,

But not once witnessing you lift a finger,

A self fulfilled cycle- sound familiar- dead ringer,

You want out of the hole but you're the sole digger,

I tossed you a rope but it was no use,

I watched you use it to tie a noose,

A queen of woe,

Dragging others into the cloud that swallows,

Another black widow,

A web that snares the caring soul,

So sick of wasting my last breath,

Being happy must leave you bored to death,

Still searching for a happiness designed by a masochist,

The nihilism only fanticised by a living death wish,

You rather see me on my knees,

What's the matter does the truth hurt?

You had a chance at eden, but chose eve,

Double crossed on the bridge you burnt,

If I had let you- you'd have bled my empathy dry,

I've witnessed your self inflicted sad eyes,

If I had just left you- after all its not my life,

I listened and gifted everything I could to better your life,

But it was all a lie,

A queen of woe,

Dragging others into the cloud that swallows,

Another black widow,

A web that snares the caring young soul,

So sick of wasting my last breath,

Being happy must leave you bored to death,

Still searching for a happiness designed by a masochist,

The nihilism only fanticised by a living death wish,

This is Edenic

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The repetition will make each hour two fold,

My obsession with the discomfort will grow,

In the wake of a split home something will manifest,

The divide will feed the wandering mind into its own recesses,

Speaking in tounges the child will lapse into his own living breathing hell,

Every day a desperate struggle to navigate his way inside himself,

The path I walked of great suffering,

The wrath invoked from a deep nothing,

A howl that forms itself within my soul,

A shadow stained in the walls,

Distain for the lack of a childhood,

The foul play that haunted the ghost,

Its been too long since I stood above the family stone,

The weight here will bend time till the world holds still,

A bitter breeze will consume all emotion in this one moment,

Only for the years of self confiding detriment to spill on the cement,

The gates of gold on your side,

Mirrored by black steal on mine,

When I pass through will I be welcomed,

Do I even wish a greeting when we meet again,

The path I walked of great suffering,

The past that stalked in luming,

A hole that formed itself within a home,

A bloom between pages withering,

Too soon all exclaimed upon a patient passing,

The owl that had a shadow of a wolf,

I will remain discontent,

I've fallen through the world,

22 years already have went,

To the all ending factor,

[beyondallreach-blog]

Its been years but I'm back.

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Mechanical Men

Mechanical men with metal feet, Believing their emotions have become obsolete, Marching by ten towards the sea, Believing the ocean is home underneath, Mechanical men of echoing frames, Hollow heads missing their brains, Heart broken they left their old names, Trading their differences to be one in the same, Mechanical men just covered in rust, Corroded on every single bolt and nut, Their abandoned hearts covered in dust, Living all alone and incapable love,

[beyondallreach-blog]

Dark Wood: A brief tale of horror in the form of a Poem

A presence in every fiber and splinter, With each creak the timber whispers, Approaching steps on the hardwood floor, The floorboards breath as it nears my door,

The suspense is to much I must confess, I feel my heart beat out of my chest,

A wisp hanging in thin air, Swimming in fragile silence, Crisp oxygen thick atmosphere, Mind sinking in steady defiance,

Hinges moan till the doors ajar, Panic gripping every muscle,

Dark presence pouring into the room,

Drifting into a state of disbelief, The sting of fright tearing at nerves,

The world goes black as I am introduced to my doom,

[beyondallreach-blog]

I thought I was doomed to die alone after I had been emotionally abused and left by my old girlfriend. Then the very next day at a bus stop, a girl asked me how to get to another stop if she missed this one. With a brief exchange of smiles I showed her my alternative bus stop. I thought to myself, if I'm worth a strangers smile then maybe I'm worth more to the rest of the world than I was to my ex.

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In Vain Of Vanity

Please feel free to offer criticism, I'm looking to improve this pice and appreciate any and all opinions. V1: Don't try to pull me into orbit, I refuse to see you as my sun, If this is your game then I forfeit, Because you only play for fun, Pre C: Don't write your little X on my heart, Or pluck it's strings like a harp, C: That look in your eyes hits like a tidal wave, I try to fight it knowing I'm the prey, I hate that I can't help but be part of this cliché, I'll step back from this cliff side but fall anyway, Aft C: A harmful harmony that I can't help but sing, With water in my lungs I'll take another drink, V2: That grin you get from watching me squirm, As if you're the bird and I'm the worm, That laugh that grips me like a vice, That stings my psyche but gives me life, Pre C: Don't write your little X on my heart, Or pluck it's strings like a harp, C: That look in your eyes hits like a tidal wave, I try to fight it knowing I'm the prey, I hate that I can't help but be part of this cliché, I'll step back from this cliff side but fall anyway, Aft C: A harmful harmony that I can't help but sing, With water in my lungs I'll take another drink, Brg: But to my surprise you don't aim to deceive, It's not just a game and you play for keeps, C: That look in your eyes hits like a tidal wave, I try to fight it knowing I'm the prey, I hate that I can't help but be part of this cliché, I'll step back from this cliff side but fall anyway,

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Vicious Desperation

Gasping for air in a tight space, Grabbing despair in an embrace, Holding it I stare into it’s face, Hoping to share this mess I’ve made,

Back to wall pressing forward, Lacking control moving toward, Blackening soul withering within, Moving slowly into a descent,

A barren oblivion, What desolate shades, A heart of obsidian, A tasteless faith,

Reaching for wretchedness, But it’s beyond grasp, Feeding my obsessions, Such beings only made of glass,

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Goodbye, I Love You

Yesterday after over a year of battling it's return, my mom lost her fight with cancer. Goodbye mom. Thank you for everything. This was something I wrote a week ago. The sand settles in the hour glass, As the last moments of life pass, Moving forward I take your hand, And grip it as hard as I can, But no matter how hard I squeeze, It won't stop you from getting weak, It won't change the bleak outcome, And it's hard to breathe when I'm undone, I study your face in all its withering beauty, I trace each pore with my eyes tearing ruthlessly, I would erase all 18 years of my life, If it meant you wouldn't leave me tonight, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so far to see that you were the best blessing given to me, Mom I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, And I'm hardly capable of returning or earning all of your unconditional love,