bbemii - Tumblr blog

[bbemii]

[bbemii]

house x chase: “i love you, it’s ruining my life” ???

[bbemii]

question for those with npd

so i actually have bpd and im a psych major and im wanting to learn about other pds and basically my question is for those with npd:

how do you feel about people using the term “narcissistic abuse” or “spreading awareness of narcissistic people?” to my understanding, npd and narcissism are 2 different things (one being a pd the other being a trait)

[bbemii]

you’ll forever have the impression of someone i used to be. you’ll never know who i am now

i’ll forever perceive you as the person i knew during a phase in the past, i’ll never know who you’ll become

but, you’re a monster, and i dont know if you’ll ever recover.

[bbemii]

trauma is a unique and weird thing to think about. like, how can this one event change the trajectory of my life and set it off its original path? are we meant to follow a certain path, that's ultimately tainted and changed by trauma, or are we meant to become tainted?

it's interesting to me how trauma changes the brain which results in us changing how we view and live life. it changes our perspective, behavior, emotions, thoughts, how we process things.

i always wonder of the person who i was meant to be, but im just this trauma

[bbemii]

blue

[bbemii]

blue

[bbemii]

i never knew love like i knew you

i never knew love could be so calculating, callous, and cold

i never knew how meticulous someone could be while loving another

unfinished.

[bbemii]

bi king bob!

[bbemii]

everyone i have ever loved, left.

[bbemii]

tonight, i miss everyone i have ever loved

[bbemii]

letting go is hard.

letting go of someone or something is hard, because we all get attached to them. but whats the point in getting attached to something we know we have to let go? is it human nature? the want to not be alone?

unfinished.

[bbemii]

i wish youd understood how much i internalize these things

[bbemii]

“grief is love in disguise”

for me, grief is hatred, anger, distaste, madness, fear

grief is thinking of you twenty four / seven wondering why you had to leave me

grief is wondering if you’ll ever come back to me

grief is hoping youd apologize, and maybe change

god, i want you to change. i want you to be the person i deserved

grief is a sign of love, why did you not grieve us?

you are the death of me

[bbemii]

i’ll never experience a summer like 2023 again and it is gut wrenching

i’ll never experience falling in love again and it is gut wrenching

i’ll never experience you again and it is gut. wrenching.

[bbemii]

unfinished poem.

the white lines painted

on the footsteps of my grave

your cold fingers touched my soul

in ways i cannot fathom

decoding your every move

wondering how did we get here

i used to know you

inside and out

but i know you

i know you wont forget

[bbemii]

written by me about a heartache i wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy, him.

you couldve saved me from the heartache and pain that you brought upon me. the tugs of my heartstrings manipulated by your evil fingers is something ill never forget. the tears i cried could have filled an ocean manipulated by the moon. you were my moon. and i was your sun, now the sky is a dull color filled with the clouds you filled in my mind. i never felt love like this like i never felt heartache like this. how could you? what human hurts another in this way? when you told me you didnt love me my entire world collapsed into the pieces my heart was left in. i used to know you so well but what do i know? what do i know.