autumnalhappiness

[autumnalhappiness]

Pick a curse I cast upon you

you will have a good day

things will get better

you will get good news today

a random stranger will compliment you

Some sort of project/test/grade/review will come back with high prases

The noise your car is making will go away and everything will be fine

holiday bonus is 2x what you thought it would be

POCKET SAND

Magic glitter (make up your own/show results)

[autumnalhappiness]

Reminder that caregivers of children are, by definition, supposed to provide shelter, food, and clothing. They did not do you a huge favor by providing this. It was the bare minimum of the job description that they voluntarily signed up for. You are not indebted to your caregivers for giving you the very basics.

[autumnalhappiness]

Things I've noticed happen to me once my nervous system started healing ✨️

1. Hair growth

When I was about 11-12, I used to have the most gorgeous, shiny hair, but as I entered my teenage years and then early 20s with my toxic family environment plus scalp psoriasis and constant picking, I started losing it.

Around my temples, my hair just started going away until I had these empty spots which painfully, I got used to.

One day about 3 months ago, I was doing my skincare and I saw this dark spot on one of my temples. I thought I was dirty or something. Imagine my surprise when I saw, after more than 10 years, baby hairs, lots of them, just peacefully growing.

My body finally has time to heal instead of trying to survive and I couldn't be prouder of myself.

2. Healthier nails

I used to have strong, beautiful nails in high-school, but I've been struggling for the past 10 years with brittle, splitting nails and peeling cuticles, and nothing I tried worked.

Fast forward a few months ago, I've noticed my nails kept growing and growing without breaking and my cuticles not peeling anymore.

I've always loved beautiful, manicured nails and not being able to get mine to be healthy again for so long has been very sad for me, so now I couldn't be happier.

Knowing that my body is healing and is getting healthier and healthier feels like a miracle, but I know it's my hard work and perseverance and I'm so damn proud.

___________________________________________

I'll keep adding throughout this week ✨️

.

[autumnalhappiness]

Pooh test.

Fun test! It's interesting how characters in the story symbolise different pathologies. What did you get?

[autumnalhappiness]

@hopehealingarts on ig

[autumnalhappiness]

29 July 2024

There is no man however wise, who has not at some period of his youth said things, or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly, if he could, expunge it from his memory. And yet he ought not entirely to regret it, because he cannot be certain that he has indeed become a wise man—so far as it is possible for any of us to be wise—unless he has passed through all the fatuous or unwholesome incarnations by which that ultimate stage must be preceded. I know that there are young fellows, the sons and grand sons of famous men, whose masters have instilled into them nobility of mind and moral refinement in their schooldays. They have, perhaps, when they look back upon their past lives, nothing to retract; they can, if they choose, publish a signed account of everything they have ever said or done; but they are poor creatures, feeble descendants of doctrinaires, and their wisdom is negative and sterile. We are not provided with wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can take for us, an effort which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world. The lives that you admire, the attitudes that seem noble to you are not the result of training at home, by a father, or by masters at school, they have sprung from beginnings of a very different order, by reaction from the influence of everything evil or commonplace that prevailed round about them. They represent a struggle and a victory. I can see that the picture of what we once were, in early youth, may not be recognisable and cannot, certainly, be pleasing to contemplate in later life. But we must not deny the truth of it, for it is evidence that we have really lived, that it is in accordance with the laws of life and of the mind that we have, from the common elements of life, of the life of studios, of artistic groups—assuming that one is a painter—extracted something that goes beyond them.

― Marcel Proust

[autumnalhappiness]

Thanks for the tag, Suo!

1. How do you spend your free time?

By scrolling social media.

2. What are your hobbies and how did you get into them?

Reading: No specific reason. I've always had this hobby since I was younger. Now the books I read are mostly digital.

Writing: This is a fairly recent hobby. Before getting into this, I used to think up storylines in my head, but I found that it was hard to organise and easy to forget. Putting it in a document is much more efficient, and I get to read past works whenever I get bored.

3. What book or movie left a lasting impression on you?

Off the top of my head, I can remember "A Boy Called Hope" by Lara Williamson, "Little Women" (Louisa May Alcott), "Wonder" (R.J. Palacio), "My Story" (Elizabeth Smart), and "Between Shades of Gray" (Ruta Sepetys).

4. What kind of music do you enjoy?

I'm not a crazy fan of music, but there are some songs I enjoy. Most of my playlists are Chinese songs. As for English, I enjoy catchy tunes like some of Taylor Swift's songs, and meaningful ones like Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez and Moral of the Story by Ashe.

5. Who is your favourite character (atm or all time) and why?

My favourite character currently is Agent Nightfall aka Fiona Frost from Spy x Family. She's an unpopular character, but I relate to her sometimes, as our personalities are very similar.

Tags: @youarereally7 @t11ger1ily-x @growthhubb

I'd love to hear from you :)

tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ

hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:

alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!

• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

i will start first!

my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!

some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!

a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.

i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!

my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.

tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ

@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades

@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii

[autumnalhappiness]

[autumnalhappiness]

this isn’t a ‘real’ poll:

-I just wanted to let you know

-that I love you, and you are loved

-and even if today is not okay, or tomorrow

-even if things are going badly and life is a disaster

-it will look up. and there are things that make it all worthwhile

-and if it makes you feel any better, if you take a blacklight

-and shine it on an australian passport, there’s a fun little surprise on every page

-and you can see animals and thunderstorms and the patterns of the stars

-and sometimes life is like that; that there’s hidden fun surprises everywhere

-that seem so invisible or nonexistent if you aren’t looking for them

-so take out a blacklight, and see what you can find

-I hope you have a great day :>

This is so sweet 🥹

[autumnalhappiness]

burn out

[autumnalhappiness]

So I came across this post which does make some interesting points about how the vocabulary we use to describe things in fandom has been influenced by the impact of capitalism, and how we also tend to treat things in fandom like they're products in a market and we are consumers.

But I also looked at the post linked in that post, and I read through the thing and I'm like. God. Thank fuck I read something like this now and not ten years ago when I made my very first effort to write and publish a fic.

I don't want to tag the person who wrote that, because I might very well be misunderstanding their point, but what I get from their words is "You shouldn't write exclusively for validation and if you find joy in what you're writing you won't be discouraged by people not engaging with your fics". Which, look. I get what they're saying. Spitting out fics like a machine just for the purpose of getting kudos and comments without you actually enjoying the whole process and art of writing is an effect of capitalism. It's overconsumption and degrading your art just for the sake of getting clicks.

But here are two important things: WHO gets to judge when a fic is written as a mass-produced word vomit for the sake of engagement? And are you wording that critique in a way that won't make brand new writers feel like they're falling in that category?

Like, I'm thinking about my experience when I first wanted to post fanfic. To be frank, in retrospect the very first fic I wrote and published was... very bad. Hilariously bad to the point that after a few years I wanted to forget I ever wrote it 😂 Now I am good with it, because it was my first effort and it's okay that it was bad. I got better.

But back then, it got one single review. And it was a negative one. One that practically went like "He wouldn't fucking say that" and to be honest? Yeah, he wouldn't fucking say that. But the review felt so disheartening to me. I tried sticking to my guns, I left the fic up for a while, then seeing that it didn't get any attention, with that single negative review on it, i deleted it. I didn't write a single thing for an entire year after that, and when I did, I felt inadequate. I started with small writing prompts and writing exercises, and my tag for those was "[url at the time] wants to be a writer". I wasn't acknowledging those efforts as genuine writing. I was only thinking of them as my "trial period" until I would be accepted in the fandom as a "good enough writer". It took me two more years to actually post a fic on fanfiction.net and on ao3 and feel like "Yeah. I'm actually doing something".

Which, you know, that all was par of the course. I don't feel like I was cast aside or mistreated by the fandom or anything (at least not in that regard...). It just happened that my very first stupid fic got a negative review. And I don't agree with leaving negative reviews on fics but it was just one comment and they weren't even rude so like, yeah, don't do that, but it wasn't the end of the world.

But if I had seen that stance back then? The whole "If you're getting discouraged by lack of engagement then you're writing for the wrong reasons"? Pals I would have completely given up. Because hey. I wrote a thing, it got a negative review, I deleted the thing and didn't write again for an entire year. I was discouraged by lack of positive attention, therefore I was doing it for attention's sake, therefore I did it for the wrong reasons, therefore I shouldn't write again.

Like, again, I get their point. My problem is with the way it's worded, and that it doesn't take into account that we cannot judge people based on that. If we asked Erika Mitchell if she wrote Master of the Universe for the sake of attention she'd be like "Oh no that's my baby!" and I'd be like "Of course it is, it transformed into Fifty Shades of Grey and made you a millionaire" but look me in the eye and tell me we can judge strangers like that. WHAT sets the line between "fic I love and poured my soul into writing it" and "fic I wrote without care just because I want to see those numbers going up", and WHO gets to set that line?

I mean, we could set a line with "Don't use LLMs like chatgpt to write fanfic" but I was once called ableist for saying that so

My issue is that this stance can make newbie writers who are just now posting their first fic feel like they're part of the problem. I think it's very important to point out that most writers want our things to be seen and loved; if we didn't care about that, we would just be writing them and never posting them, because posting your writing can be very vulnerable. That vulnerability can range from "getting hate from fandom bullies" to "getting doxxed and your coworkers seeing your explicit omegaverse fanfic" (which call me dramatic all you like; but there are careers where people can be fired and never find a job again if they're doxxed as having written a certain type of fanfics. I know certain people offline would make sure I never found a job in my career if they discovered my whump account). So yeah, it's a vulnerable choice that we willingly make because we want to share. Posting is about sharing. Why the FUCK would we post stuff, why would we risk all that vulnerability, if we didn't care about people seeing our creations, and if we didn't care about people telling us they loved them? I have written stuff I don't care about sharing, because I love them as they are and honestly can't bother getting into fixing all their mistakes and formatting them into presentable fanfics. That's what you do when you "write for yourself".

So yeah I don't think we get to judge when someone writes only for the sake of attention, and while I understand where that stance is coming from, it needs to be worded in a way that won't make new writers feel like THEY are the problem because the lack of attention on their fic is getting to them. Like, yeah, write for yourself, share for the world - if you want. It's practically impossible to ask of people to not care about the attention their creations will or won't get.

To be honest this whole conversation also included thoughts about interacting with fics through comments, which I also feel comes in a weird wording because I also used to be someone who thought my comments weren't enough. I wanted to comment but being new in fandom and a non-native English speaker I felt that whatever I said wouldn't be enough. Which is why now I'm saying "leave a keysmash, leave an emoji, leave a comment in a different language I can use a translator", because if that reaches even one person who is like I used to be, then that will be a net positive. My point is not to pressure people to comment, this honestly sounds ridiculous to me, if someone doesn't want to comment they just won't. The alternative of a keysmash or an emoji gives the opportunity for people who don't have the words/energy/time/spoons for a long-ass comment to still show their appreciation.

But then there's the "You can't demand people leave comments on your fics if they don't want to". Cool. I'm not. If they don't want to leave a comment they have the option not to and are not obligated to feel bad for it. BUT THAT IS DIFFERENT THAN SAYING PEOPLE WHO GET DISCOURAGED BY LACK OF ATTENTION ARE WRITING FOR THE WRONG REASON.

Because in the instance specifically mentioned in that post, people did love the fic. They did make conversations about it and they were positively inspired by it. There was attention for the fic. And it's honestly absurd to even imply that the author was selfish because that attention their creation got was hidden from them, or because they got upset that people didn't realize that feedback was important to the author. If we are talking about a community, there's no fucking death of the author here. If we want fanfics to be a part of a community, we can give back to the author, and that's not a fucking capitalist view I'm sorry to say. "Give and take" is a basic human instinct. If we're gonna talk with political wording, "from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs" is communism. People give what they can, and receive what they need. The problem is when they create without a need and demand more than others can give. That's capitalism.

Once again (too many times), I get what the original post is critiquing. But we can do that without going to the other extreme, no?

[autumnalhappiness]

The day I learn to :3 irl is the day the whole world bends to my will

[autumnalhappiness]

Just gonna post this

[autumnalhappiness]

How are you?

Doing well! Recently went on a school trip to Taiwan, and couldn't answer because of the poor connection, haha.

How are you?

[autumnalhappiness]

Taiwan School Trip: Day One!!

4.30 am—Packing!!!

5.30 am—airport :D

Reached Taiwan!!

This is so cool omg :))

[autumnalhappiness]

Thank you, Suo! I love our conversations :D

@t1gerl1l1y-x @growthhubb @youarereally7 @the-original-worthless-lol

positivity train!

if you see this or are tagged in it, tag a couple of your favorite mutuals/blogs and let them know you appreciate seeing them on your dash!

@h0neysugarfree @blueberrylovv @bequiteanddriveeeeeee @cherri-bomb-bomb @eg0mechan1c @fatrexicisback