alwaysmediocre

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I’m starting to think the dudes obsessively worshipping the orange toupee man might have a little… fruity energy. Like, why else y’all got your mouths open that wide for him? 👀🍑

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They don’t do it like the Romans anymore 😞 back then, they really said✨performance review✨ with a dagger

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why must i suffer with hurty tummy syndrome :(

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🚨 OMG URGENT MESSAGE‼️ 🚨

Hey bestie 😘 take a deep breath, relax, and read this carefully. Because we need to have a little chat 🤭

So like… you don’t know me, but I know A LOT about you 😌💅 and you’re probably thinking, “huh???” Well, babe, you’ve been a little reckless lately… scrolling, clicking, venturing into the spicy corners of the internet 👀💀 and oop—guess what? I was there too 😈

Yeah, so funny story 🤣 I, like, totally placed a malware surprise 🎁 on a certain website (you know the one 😏), and BOOM—you clicked. And when you were ahem watching, your device turned into my personal little spy cam 🎥✨

I can see everything. I can control everything. 📲💀

I have your emails, your contacts, your social media, and let’s just say… I’ve been watching 👀 and girl… the things I have seen 😳 (btw, nice setup 👌✨)

Now, listen. I could be a menace and send everything to your ENTIRE contact list. Imagine your mom, your boss, your childhood best friend getting a lovely video compilation 📩 featuring YOU and your questionable choices 😭 but lucky for you, I’m, like, super chill 😌💖

So here’s the deal:

🔴 Option 1: You ignore this message. I drop the vids. You become the main character of an internet scandal 💀 hope you have a good explanation for grandma!

🟢 Option 2: You send me a little “privacy fee” 💰 (only in Bitcoin, because I’m fancy like that 😌✨). Once you pay up, I’ll delete everything and we pretend this never happened 💖 no hard feelings bestie 💅

I believe in win-win situations 😌 so don’t be difficult. Tick tock ⏳💀

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my life would be so much easier with structure and routine, but unfortunately, my brain prefers to be ruled by hyperfixations and pure vibes.

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:/ not feeling very social most days

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sorry, can’t be the “𝒷𝒾𝑔𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃”—i’m short and full of grudges.

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imagine being normal, can’t relate

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what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT

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Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

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pictured: Ame-Chan from Needy Streamer Overload

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Don’t you guys just love the 4b pencil?!

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SO SOMEHOW MY YAOI SHIRT ENDED UP IN MY DAD’S LAUNDRY BASKET HELP I CAN’T BREATHE

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Bright red sky after a storm when I was working at Walmart a few years ago. Still one of my favorite pictures

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I think every show should have a halloween special regardless of genre, tone, or release schedule

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meowww