allsuperherostuff

[allsuperherostuff]

THE SHIT (GOLD) YOU FIND IN THE OCEAN (YOUTUBE COMMENT’S SECTION)

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You know when you surprise your cat while they’re cleaning themselves and they forget to put their tongue away? And you know how Tawky Tawny is just a big ol kitty?

Even the most sophisticated of individuals can be caught off guard!

Poor guy is embarrassed! Billy is going to brag about this to the entire justice league about this for weeks.

The video turned out a little blurry but it’ll take me a while to figure out how to fix that and I already spent five and a half hours on this thing so I don’t wannaaaaa. If the people (a single person) demand it then I shall, but until then you get what you get lol.

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people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

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happy holidays @finnstrying!

happy phandom truce 2024! you had such great prompts, i had a hard time picking just one to do! but, in the end, the image of danny being perfectly capable of evading a kidnapping but goes along anyway just to mess with vlad was too funny for me to resist.

a (very late) seasons greetings to you! hope you had a laugh ^^

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Happy New Year!

Question, what do you think of Hiccup being female and being a witch?

She's used to her enemies blaming magic for their losses. They'd rather believe she's bewitched them than believe she's beaten them with her own skill and intellect.

And maybe there's some truth to that. Hiccup only really intentionally uses her magic to calm the wildest of dragons enough to befriend them. If her magic reacts to vikings acting just as wild as dragons, she can't help that.

When Viggo hears rumors of her magic, Hiccup can see the change in the way he looks at her, as if he's looking for signs of foul play in every twitch of her fingers or glint in her eyes. She wouldn't dare sour their game in such a way, but Viggo doesn't know that. He doesn't know that she'll use his fear and apprehension to her advantage, that she's no longer afraid of getting close to him because she knows no amount of logic will stop his instincts from forcing him to back away from a dangerous creature.

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COLLAB WITH @buf309-art-binder ‼️

(buf did most of the work, that is why it looks so nice hehe 😌)

also trivia!!! buf is the one who gave me my nickname of unso so everyone say thank you buf (thank you buf, love you very much)

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A comprehensive list of animals that Damian Wayne has, at some point or another, attempted to adopt:

A Kraken. Seen while aiding Aquaman on the coast of the Dominic Republic, Damian attempted to feed it seaweed chips and nearly lost his arm as a result, but unsurprisingly made him try harder to take him home. Bruce still refused.

A rat. Came across it digging in a garage bin after Jason pushed him in. He tamed it and managed to get it into the Batmobile. Bruce actually freaked the fuck out. (He’s bougie, he does not like rodents.)

A cat. Saved a cat out of tree, and he wanted to take it back to the Manor, but the little girl he saved it for killed him the balls when he suggested it.

About 2,000 individual shrimp. No comment.

A pair of raccoons. Found them while he was in the gardens and succeeded in domesticating them. He named them Franz and Sisi and they lived in the Manor until Alfred found them in the kitchen and had an aneurysm.

A unicorn. Found it in a magical forest during a mission with Constantine. John thought it was fucking hilarious and sent it back with Damian, where it proceeded to shit everywhere in the Batcave until Bruce finally lost his nerve and made John come pick it up.

There was also a brown bear. And a polar bear. And a koala bear. Bruce had to donate outrageous sums of money to get the Feds off his back.

There’s more. A lot more. Bruce gets a headache the more he thinks about it.

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Lex Luthor hates Superman, Lex Luthor hates the Justice League, bla bla bla… You know who Lex must really hate? Bruce Wayne.

Because he knows that bitch is Batman. He’d worked it through that big brain of his and he’s without a doubt certain that the same idiot who spilled champagne on him last New Year’s Eve moonlights as the Batman.

But he can’t fucking prove it. So he’s resigned to a lifetime of having to make stilted conversation filled with double meaning while Brucie just flutters his eyelashes and pretends to be a ditz. And Lex just has to sit there and take it, because Bruce knows that Lex knows and absolutely uses that knowledge to fuck with Alex at every opportunity—he says the absolute shittest, godawful pickup lines and flirts to his heart’s content, knowing full well that he helped Superman kick Lex’s ass last week and that Lex knows it was him.

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🌲⭐️Merry Christmas⭐️🌲

Merry Christmas/ Happy Holiday @cerealboxlore !

Here's your gift! You asked for the League being nice to Billy, and now you shall receive! I hope you have a wonderful day and an even better year 🤗.

@shazam-secret-santa

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DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die

He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.

And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.

Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.

What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.

So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.

The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.

A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.

That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.

"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"

And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."

"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"

Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.

Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.

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Marvel making familiars for his loved ones

So I was thinking about Tawky Tawny (again). The thing about him is that he got so many different backstories or explanations on what he might be, but a common enough theme that we see is that he is a stuffed toy when he wants to be.

So here me out.

Tawky Tawny is Billy’s familiar and helps him adjust to his magic when he wants to use it in his small form. He was originally a toy given to Billy by his parents and later given life by The Wizard.

It came with more benefits. Tawny would eat his nightmares, be able to teleport to Billy’s location so that he could never get stolen or lost, protect Billy by going into his tiger form and all around be a constant warmth on his life.

So imagine Billy doing the same as The Wizard.

A lot of his friends aren’t magic users and don’t have the same magical protection he does, so maybe he gives them some enchanted clothing or pendants. A semi familiar (because without magic you can’t make a magical familiar pact with a living animal) where he just makes them familiars.

He would create stuffed animals, and weave in some magic to make them sentient. Maybe it would start with younger heroes, but when he realises his coworkers in the JL need the help as well, he absolutely would make some for them. They, like Tawny prefer to stay in stuffed toy mode, but will sometimes would want to stretch their paws and go into animal form once they feel like they are in a suitable environment.

Just picture it.

It all started with Raven, and the constant stress she might feel with having to constantly guard over Trigon. She can’t have a familiar because most creatures would suffer if give a link to her because her magic is not compatible like that. Captain Marvel decided to make her a companion. He makes her a little leopard wearing an elegant pink suit with a little top hat.

Raven: Is that a plush?

Cap: I heard you have trouble sleeping, so I got you a friend. I haven’t given them a name or pronouns, so that’s up to you.

Raven: … why

Cap: Trust me, they are for nightmares! Tawny *holds up his tiger plush* tells me they are fun to hunt and makes quite the sweet treat.

Raven: *holding the handmade gift* thank you 🥺

Cue shenanigans where she thinks he’s just trying to be a great den mother, and is a tad naive thinking stuffed animals actually work. Not that she isn’t holding little Ebony Darkness every night and is getting the best sleep she has in years.

Another thing to add is that insomnia and PTSD is a common sight within the caped community. And of course Billy notices that. So, after seeing more and more positive results of his plushies, he makes more and more. It becomes a trend. Younger heroes receive a small teddy of an animal and proceed to get attached to it almost immediately.

Nightwing almost cried when he got an elephant wearing a bow tie . Cap said that he seemed like the type to like them. Now Dick has given Zitka a little sibling to sleep at night with. But then that plush becomes fond of Zitka and gave the og elephant plush sentience.

Starfire absolutely adores her shrimp plush. Said something about being able to see colours together. Wally doesn’t know what to think about getting a turtle, but quickly gets attached, even putting little designs in the shell.

Jason also likes to put in patterns in his sting-ray, which Roy doesn’t get cause he thinks his jelly fish is perfect just the way she is. Lian gets a smaller jellyfish, which makes her happy because all the Outlaws get a sea animal.

All the members of YJ, even the retired ones, get a reindeer. They suspect he knows.

It gets back to the JL that Caps giving stuffed toys to their protoges.

Flash: Hey, Cap, how come we don’t get any stuffed animals?

Captain, exited his work is wanted: You want one!!!

Flash, can’t say no to that face: … yes I do

He gets all exited and makes plushies for all of his coworkers, that he pours a bit of extra magic in his work.

CM, fidgeting infringe if the door:

Batman: what is it Captain

CM: I made you something but then I realised that you wouldn’t really want it but then it could be cool if you did and I didn’t want to overthink-

Batman, stopping Billy’s rant: go ahead

CM, hands him a plush snake wearing spectacles: I thought you would like them. I haven’t named them so that’s up to you

Batman, not knowing where to go from here: … is the name important

CM, offended: It’s the MOST important

Batman sighs and keeps the snake. Naturally he does a billion different tests but finds it’s a snake plush. One that’s handmade. That must have taken a lot of time and effort. Batman keeps George Snaking. No he will not admit that having the snake wrapped around his shoulders is soothing.

And it just spirals from there. Hal gets a Sparrow in a poncho, Plastic man gets a kangaroo wearing the nicest boots, Wonder Woman gets a duck in a fancy dress, Aquaman gets a penguin in swim shorts, J’onn gets a lion in a toga … Guy gets a clown fish.

It has no rhyme or reason. The only common thread is that it’s an animal with some sort of clothing. Cap just says that of course they have clothing, they are distinguished and perfectly civilised individuals.

It all come to a head when the League faces some threat, and they are weakened, only for their plushies to fucking teleport and turn into massive version of their respective animals and saves the day.

Hawkwoman, starring at her bear: I- Mrs Snuggles?

Mrs Snuggles: *shrugs*

Shayera: … I could have been getting bear hugs this whole time

Guy: *looks down* Flippers?

Flippers: *flops on the floor*

Guy: ….

Guy: how come the others get bigger version of their animals

The League of Superpets aren’t that worried about competition. They tried to recruit the plush’s, but turns out they are just lazy. Like, they will beat a butch if necessary, but won’t actively go looking for crime to solve. They act more of a home défense.

The only ones who knew about the sentient plushies where Ma and Pa Kent (their Octopus is extent helpful around the farm), Alfred Pennyworth (he’s the one who actually requested hamsters to help keep the manor clean and keep an eye on his family) and Damian who’s instinct immediacy told him his fennec fox is alive.

Oracle got a capybara. The Capybara is the most powerful one Billy has made, second to Tawny. I don’t make the rules.

Constantine is the only one who never got one. Billy is still salty about him trying to steal his powers. Plus he would prolly sell it.

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Harley Quinn as Billy’s Mom

Right so Harleen Quinzel goes to college at 18, gets pregnant at 28, gives birth over summer break, puts the baby up for adoption, goes on to graduate later that year, gets a job at Arkham, gets manipulated by Joker, and becomes Harley Quinn at age 30.

She’s now 38 and mostly rehabilitated, living in a little city called Fawcett that Batman sent her to as a type of witness protection from the Joker. It’s pretty effective, since as of a few months ago the city has its own Superman-level hero, and even if the Joker found Harley here he’s not that crazy. Big Red shook off giant robots and laser guns, Joker knows he can’t compete with that.

Then one day, she gets a knock on the door. It’s a young boy named Billy Batson, who’s shows her a taped-together birth certificate and asks if that’s her name on it.

It is.

So. Turns out her one-night-stand kid is now a superhero. Who knew?

Eventually, someone starts spreading the rumor that Captain Marvel is a Kryptonian like Superman. The Justice League, already interested in the powerful man, decide to go talk to him. They arrive to find that the Joker had apparently found out Harley was in Fawcett, took the rumors at face value, and tried to shoot Marvel with kryptonite bullets.

They didn’t work, and the Leaguers arrive at the warehouse just in time to see Marvel smack the guy into a wall, and then while helping Harley Quinn free of the chains she’d been wrapped in, everyone present blue screens when the very powerful not-Kryptonian turns to the ex-criminal and asks:

“Are you okay Mom?”

Emergency Fake Backstory Time: they tell the Leaguers that Harley gave birth earlier, as a teen (False), and gave the baby away (True). Marvel’s adoptive parents died (True), he went into foster care (Sorta True: he ran away at 8), and a few months ago he was able to strong-arm his horrible uncle into giving up his documents (Sorta False: he snuck in and used magic to scare Ebenezer into telling his where the documents were). Saw the name on the birth certificate, used magic to track her down, they reunited, and voilà! Here they are now.

Batman is having a very quiet conniption in the corner because one of his Rogues has an overpowered adult-child superhero and he didn’t know.

For clarity-

• Harley- 38

• Joker- 50

• Batman- 46

• Oracle- 26

• Nightwing- 25

• Red Hood- 22

• Black Bat- 20

• Red Robin- 17

• Spoiler- 17

• Signal- 16

• Robin- 14

• Billy- 10

• Alfred- 70s

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I just had an idea. A wonderful, awful idea. Lex Luthor went to the same university that Jack, Maddie, and Vlad did. He, of course, shared a couple of classes with Jack. And Lex develops an unrequited crush on Jack. Jack is oblivious, and Lex knows that it couldn't go anywhere. It would get in the way of his plans. So he locked that possibility away to not be revisited until he meets Dr. Jack Fenton at a science conference where Jack is a keynote speaker...

I dont want to break up Maddie and Jack, but I think it'd be funny to have two evil billionaires trying to woo either Fenton and getting in each other's way.

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Back on my champions bullshit.

Scott is often drawn as a similar height to Kamala, and I KNOW he’s going to hit a growth spurt eventually.

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Its been over a year since I drew page 8....

(Previously)

(AU Master Post)

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Billy Batson/Shazam/Captain Marvel sketches

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A marvel fam, a partial shazam fam?