aliterarywitch

[aliterarywitch]

Don’t abandon your child or put your illegitimate child up for adoption

Don’t reveal it to anyone if you’re secretly the illegitimate child of the heir of an aristocratic family or if you’re pregnant with their illegitimate child.

Definitely do not have any really intense hobbies or join a club with other people who are passionate about that hobby.

Do not be involved in covering up a murder of someone’s child or sibling from over a decade ago with other people from your hobby club.

Do not be the only child of some eccentric people who are hiding a secret about a murder that took place long before your birth.

Do not be an outsider who moves into or visits a very close-knit community for any reason, but especially not to investigate something from the past.

Do not be a cruel and domineering rich person / small business owner / landowner, especially one who abuses their spouse or left his first wife for his younger second wife.

Do not lurk anywhere by yourself or in the dark where you might be mistaken for someone else and murdered by accident

Do not be a country doctor or solicitor who knows too much about people in the village

Don’t be the boyfriend, husband, or stalker of a woman in the village who some lonely creep is obsessed with and secretly has a shrine to

Right Midsomer Murders fans!

You end up in the Midsomer Murders universe, what is your foolproof strategy to make sure you do not get murdered?

[aliterarywitch]

i hope that in 2025 u get to take more walks, read more books, connect with more people whom u love and who love u, achieve ur goals (even if ur goals are having no goals and just living in the moment), exercise fun hobbies, move from a place of self-direction, and weave together a beguiling assortment of beautiful little moments. remember that no feeling lasts forever. love u

[aliterarywitch]

Ignoring the real possibility he intentionally let himself be caught from the little we know so far Luigi Mangione's case is a fascinating combination of astonishing brilliance and confusing stupidity. This young man plans and executes his assassination and escape with such a meticulous care and calmness that it's suspected that he's a professional hitman. He comes up with Riddler-sque moves like writing his manifesto poetically on the bullets and leaving his backpack behind full of Monopoly money. He carefully wears a mask to avoid being identified but removes it because a woman who was checking him into the hostel was flirting with him and wanted to see his smile. He still manages to escape the most surveilled city in the country in the midst of ongoing national manhunt only to get caught in the middle of bumfuck nowhere Pennsylvania while eating at the McDonalds. Because for some reason he had the same clothes and mask as in New York and was carrying the same gun and suppressor. And when the cops detained him he showed them the same fake id he used in New York. And oh yeah he's a frat bro gym rat who has a masters degree in computer science from Penn but reads stupid self-help books about being on the grind and is 'anti-woke' while being bisexual suffering from anxiety and wanting to end oppressive capitalism. Not even god himself could invent a person like this

[aliterarywitch]

Andrea Gibson, Lord of the Butterflies

[aliterarywitch]

Gentle reminder that newspapers can’t call incidents “murders” or “kidnappings” if no trial has taken place. They CAN say “suspected murder” or “possible kidnapping”, but they can’t outright call stuff murder etc. because that’s up to a court to decide. So yeah, they tend to use words like “missing” and “killed” instead. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, this isn’t intentional erasure, this is just honestly in journalism.

[aliterarywitch]

“Parasite-in-chief and her idiot hat” is like the 7 most important words a human has ever spoken thank you christopher eccleston

[aliterarywitch]

so When do you guys think something good is going to happen

[aliterarywitch]

the most depressing part is that it's not even kamala's stance on genocide that is costing her the elections. i wish it were. it's people genuinely shifting for trump. but it's the pro-palestine movement that's going to get the blame for it.

[aliterarywitch]

I feel like when I say ‘relatable’ what I really mean is ‘resonant.’ I don’t want characters who I feel are like me, I want characters who have emotions so strong I can feel them through the page.

[aliterarywitch]

[aliterarywitch]

[aliterarywitch]

dollhouse

[aliterarywitch]

My partner and I don't fuck and we don't kiss, for you see it would take away from the depth and profundity of the special bond we share, instead we merely shake hands and gaze longingly into each other's eyes every night before going to bed in separate rooms where we then lay awake thinking about how any sexual relationship between us would be doomed to fail due to our problematic power dynamic and also we've killed for each other, quite a lot actually.

[aliterarywitch]

ohhh october be kind. on god be kind

[aliterarywitch]

If you could instantly be granted fluency in 5 languages—not taking away your existing language proficiency in any way, solely a gain—what 5 would you choose?

[aliterarywitch]

DOCTOR WHO (2005– ) S05E11: The Lodger

[aliterarywitch]

DOCTOR WHO - 4.03 Planet of the Ood