#writing funny

[leave-her-a-tome]

[willowiswriting]

[16woodsequ]

[daddiesdrarryy]

Me writing

[sleepywriter00]

I just wanna write but my brain won't let meee!!!

[6vaguebook]

Me, a writer, and my google search history:

[caitylove]

2 am plot revelations are the most dangerous and wonderful in the writing process. That WIP better look out, it’s about to get fucked up.

[panpanicatmha]

what people think writing is like: how quickly does it take for someone to bleed out? fatal wound areas. common methods of body deposition. what writing is actually like: what is sleep. what is the word for when the ocean oceans. how to talk about eggs.

[torchbluelegacy]

Me after looking at notes for a new chapter I’m writing..:

[blueparadis]

me opening my laptop, then google docs, then discord, then tumblr and then talk to my moots about our blorbos endlessly and then shutting down my laptop.

my wips ::

[willowiswriting]

[16woodsequ]

Me: *introduces a new element into the story that ~ surprisingly ~ hasn’t been mentioned at all before now*

Character: How??? Did I??? Not noticed this??? Before????

Me, the author, who hadn’t thought of it until now: *sweating* Yeah..... so weird how you didn’t notice it..... before......

[daddiesdrarryy]

Me when I finish writing something:

[sleepywriter00]

Just finished writing the chapter I've been looking forward to writing!!!!!

A criminal is caught and a secret is revealed! Now I get to delve into the love interests past!!!

[6vaguebook]

Excerpts from a random Greek myth retelling I've had in mind for a few months. There's only the thinnest vial of a plot so far, but I wrote a couple scenarios I thought would be funny or interesting (half of them will probably have to go) but it is so unhinged I couldn't not share

Note: these are all from Ares's POV

“ ‘As the protector of young boys, I hereby declare Hermes a young boy, which makes it my duty to protect him!’, Apollo yelled. ‘Hey!’, Hermes protested, but Apollo was already slinging him over his shoulder and heading for the exits. Good riddance. Ares was getting tired of having the spikes on his sword stolen.”

"Athens should have picked Poseidon. Except they were currently in the process of fighting Poseidon, in the ocean, so forget he said anything, actually."

“You know what? Forget the war. He would move to the south pole and become the god of penguins.”

“But if he knew his mother at all, which he did, he knew she was definitely not above doing something so despicable. She’d thrown Hephaestus off mount Olympus when he was born because he was lame and ugly, and yes, his brother was in fact terribly ugly, and Ares had definitely contemplated throwing him off a cliff before, the guy was mega annoying at the best of times, but still. Not Cool, mom.”

“Well, Hera, he was tempted to say, if you didn’t keep ruining their mothers’ lives, maybe they’d be nicer to you. Not being suicidal, he held his tongue.”

“He was tempted to throw the horseshoe in his face, but he doubted the gesture would be appreciated.”

“Hestia was everyone’s favourite aunt. Unfortunately, he would have to drop Poseidon in her hearth, which was an unforgivable insult to her pride above all else. He felt no remorse for throwing Poseidon in a giant fire place, though. The guy’d been getting on his nerves all week.”

“Thanatos was a workaholic. Why couldn’t the guy take a vacation for like, a month or two? He said this out of concern for the guy, of course, but he wouldn’t argue it would be nice if his soldiers didn’t keep dying.”

“Athena threw her shield in his face and bolted for the door. How was she the smart one again? The shield broke in half on Zeus’s forehead, and he roared in anger. Ares darted after her.”

“Persephone threw the bouquet in Hermes’s face. Hermes screamed, which, valid. Persephone throwing anything was scary.”

[tired-twili]

A friendship between a Fluff writer and an angst writer is the funniest thing.

Fluff: "yeah person A and B have been through a lot, but they were constantly there for eachother and they eventually get a happy ending!"

Angst: " yeah but what if A died..."

Fluff: ...0-0

Angst:..."what if B killed them👀"