yakayla-withay

[yakayla-withay]

Fuck the pictures.

No one wants to be seen with me anyway.

[yakayla-withay]

I think I am just tired of life.

All of it.

[yakayla-withay]

Wow haven't been here in a hot minute

Still don't have a job but it is what it is.

I am not sure what i am supposed to do.

[yakayla-withay]

I am having fun all by myself for the start of my birthday, surprisingly

I did call my girlfriend but her beautiful ass is sleeping for work tomorrow but we have been watching the office and I think imma finish it for my birthday

I wanna end this cycle of being afraid something is going to end because all things come to an end, movies, series, life; so why not go for it

I’ve been personally watching Planet of the Apes and if there’s not a black person on whichever Caesar’s side next movie then I think it’s just a plant to keep black people down

But anyways

I’m drunk and high and thinking but I love the series so far. I wish that some of my friends would come back but I also love the ones that never left and they only matter now 🖕🏾

Yeah I think imma love life dead ass for real

P.S. I posted exactly on my birthday because I really love me

[yakayla-withay]

I just don't think I could ever be friends with someone that prayed on my downfall while we weren't friends just because I was acting my age with a little bit more spice

[yakayla-withay]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[yakayla-withay]

but as i complained about all of that. i do like doing our everyday thing with you. i just wish i didn't feel like shit and like our relationship is actually progressing in the rate that it should and people can actually could see it too /:

[yakayla-withay]

i am tired of feel like the only reason why you won't think or do anything special of your own is because I currently do not or can't and my money not coming in is the only reason why you aren't wasting anything too too big on me

[yakayla-withay]

anyways!

i think i am very mental ill and emotionally damaged from just wanting someone to really want to be seen with

to act like they really like and love me in public

but i would have to show them instead of being surprised and thought of and put more actionable work into

i am not worth that much work to you

you are already too tired for this relationship

you already put in too much of whatever of yourself is here

and yet when we are together in front of people, it feels like me vs everyone including you in the room

you sink into everyone else in the room, you are less mine and more of just whatever the room feels like to you

[yakayla-withay]

just how.

i feel like I would still have to find time and space for you and try to make something up even if i worked 5 days a week, more than you.

that is unfair to try to uphold the fun, comfort, and security of this relationship with actual actions when all i can get is "i was thinking about it"

and honestly, i probably won't be spending as much money as i say that i want to

my money isn't for play. my money isn't just to throw around.

if you aren't willing to do that for or to me now, i just don't see how i can when i get to this money

[yakayla-withay]

I refuse to be used by myself.

I refuse to put more energy into making something feel special than someone does.

and honestly, i probably won't be spending as much money as i say that i want to

my money isn't for play. my money isn't just to throw around.

if you aren't willing to do that for or to me now, i just don't see how i can when i get to this money

[yakayla-withay]

and honestly, i probably won't be spending as much money as i say that i want to

my money isn't for play. my money isn't just to throw around.

if you aren't willing to do that for or to me now, i just don't see how i can when i get to this money

[yakayla-withay]

anyways, i'm probably not going to get any sleep

i think i am extremely depressed right now

from trying to search for a new job opportunity to feeling inadequate just simply being around others

maybe i am the problem.

maybe i am the person that needs to disappear.

[yakayla-withay]

but i mean i can't ask that of someone who's thoughts are based upon the thoughts of others outside of this relationship

I wish that I could feel love

Like that love where I don't have to tell you to surprise me something, surprise me with something to do, something to see

that I or someone else didn't come up with and you just do

i just wish that it didn't feel like i have to do all the important shit, all the important milestones and then you do them

[yakayla-withay]

I wish that I could feel love

Like that love where I don't have to tell you to surprise me something, surprise me with something to do, something to see

that I or someone else didn't come up with and you just do

i just wish that it didn't feel like i have to do all the important shit, all the important milestones and then you do them

[yakayla-withay]

Lol I wish that you cared enough to actually talk to me and be with me more than you do

but i am always the back burner friend or person

the person that people get their important shit done with but never actually want to be seen or out with me

that's okay, i have learned

i will continue to learn

maybe relationships aren't for a person so damaged as i

oh well, at least i tried

[yakayla-withay]

She must be thinking about bills, education, food

(Source)