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wincheskka · 11 months ago

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Familiar (part 2)

Pairing : Troy Otto x Fem!Reader x Negan Smith

part 1

Warning : angst, death mention, TWD & FTWD SPOILERS (If there are any other warnings let me know)

A/N : I'm really sorry to post the second part three months after the first part. I had to wait until the end of FTWD, to finally write/finish it.

English is not my native language, so i'm sorry if there are (i'm sure there are) spelling mistakes.

"He really looks like me" a voice says, this voice is familiar to you, so familiar, your heart starts racing.

You slowly turn your eyes where the voice comes from and you see a familiar person in the doorway to the dining room, your eyes fill with tears :

"Troy ?!"

Your voice shakes as you say his name in shock. You slowly get up from the couch and walk towards him, he smiles at you.

“Hi Y/N” He says when you are in front of him, with your teary eyes you look him in his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes that you thought you would never see again “I missed you”

This time the tears escape your eyes, the man you have never stopped loving is in front of you. The tears run down your cheeks but Troy's hands come to your cheeks and wipe them away, you close your eyes to this action.

“Hey I'm here now it's okay” He comforts you, you open your eyes and see him looking at you with so much love. He leans down and places his lips on yours, you close your eyes again and kiss him back, the kiss is so sweet, you think you're in a dream.

A few seconds later he pulls away from the kiss, you open your eyes and see him smiling at you once again. You can't believe he's back, that he's with you.

Suddenly you hear the front door open, you feel him quickly remove his hands from your cheeks, you turn away from Troy to look at the door. You see Negan enter the living room with a smile on his face but when he sees you, his smile disappears and he frowns in worry, he quickly walks towards you.

"Why are you crying ?" Negan asks, he places his hands on your cheeks and wipes your wet cheeks, it makes you frown because Troy did it a few seconds ago, tears must have flowed down your cheeks again without you realizing it.

You smile at Negan and gently remove his hands from your cheeks, you want him to meet Troy.

“Let me introduce you” You say, you see him frown but you turn to meet Troy's gaze but instead of blue eyes you meet a white wall, you frown.

“Introduce who ?” Negan asks in confusion, he takes your hand in his so you can look at him, you turn your eyes on him not understanding why Troy isn't there.

You walk into the kitchen dining room what makes Negan let go of your hand. You look to see if maybe Troy was hiding there but no sign of him.

You go back to the living room, you look around you with incomprehension and panic. Negan puts his hand on your arm to make you look at him, and you do.

“Calm down and tell me what’s going on” Negan tells you in a comforting tone, he starts to worry even more. Tears form again in your eyes, not understanding yourself what's going on.

Where is Troy ?

“You didn't see him ?” You ask him, Negan frowns at your question.

"Who are you talking about ?" He asks still with so much confusion.

“Troy” You answer him, looking around you once again. You start to breathe faster as the panic grows more and more.

“Troy is dead” Negan says, you look at him and shake your head knowing that you saw Troy alive in front of you, that he touched you, that he kissed you “You talked to me about his death"

“Yeah I know, I know but he was there” You exclaim, pointing to where Troy was a few minutes ago, a tear runs down your cheek “He was there you have to believe me Negan”

Negan's gaze softens and confusion turns to understanding, he sighs and moves closer to you. He places his hands on your cheeks :

“Sweetheart I think you had a hallucination” He tells you in a calm tone so you don’t panic even more.

“No, it wasn't, it was real, he touched me and he even kissed me” You exclaim, not thinking that you could have had a hallucination of Troy.

“It wasn't real Y/N” Negan still says in a calm and reassuring tone. Another tear falls down your cheek, he immediately wipes it away with his thumb.

Suddenly, your eyes is drawn to the living room entrance behind Negan, you look and you see Troy again, you let out a little gasp.

“He’s here” You tell Negan for him to look, he turns to where your eyes are looking. Negan's gaze returns to you and you look away from Troy to look at Negan, he rubs his thumb on your cheeks to soothe you.

“You don’t see him ?” You ask but you already know the answer just by seeing the expression on his face "Tell me you see him please" your voice breaks at the end of your sentence.

“It's a hallucination Y/N, he's not real” He answers, it wasn't the answer you wanted to hear, tears accumulate in your eyes, sobs also want to escape from you mouth.

Your teary eyes return to Troy and look him up and down and you realize something, his clothes, they are the same as the day he died, this time you let out a sob. The Troy you see is not real, you hallucinate him, it hurts you so much.

"Hey it's okay, I'm here for you" Negan comforts you, your eyes fall to the floor, just like the tears from your eyes fall on your cheeks.

You can no longer hold back all the sobs, so you let them escape with pain and sadness, Negan removes his hands from your cheeks to bring your head closer to his chest. You cry into his chest, he gently places his hand on the back of your head being careful not to hurt your injury.

You cry for several minutes, until your cries become sniffles, Negan slowly pulls away to look at you. You stare into space, lost in your thoughts, your eyes are red and swollen from crying. You can't believe you hallucinated Troy, why after all these years of suffering because of his loss, you have to suffer again ?

"C'mon, you need some rest" Negan says wrapping an arm around you, he walks to the stairs with you, he helps you all the way up the stairs. Arriving at your room he moves the blanket and helps you sit on your bed, then he closes the curtains and comes back to you.

You have a headache, you don't even know if it's because of the concussion or because of your crying. All you want right now is to sleep, Negan kneels down and takes off your shoes, you want to tell him he doesn't have to but you don't even have the strength to speak so you let him do it.

After he takes off your shoes, you lie down and he puts the blanket on you. He runs his hand through your hair and moves it away from your face, he leans down and kisses your forehead, you close your eyes at this action.

“I’m here for you, don’t forget it” He whispers on your forehead, you let out an exhale at his words. He moves away from you and walks towards the bedroom door but before leaving, he turns around to look at you "If you need me, scream I'm downstairs" You nod a bit, he smiles then goes out and closes the door behind him, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

"I'm here for you too" The familiar voice from your hallucination is heard, you turn your head to the other side of the bed and see him lying next to you with a comforting smile.

His smile doesn't comfort you at all, tears come back to your eyes. You just want him to leave you alone, you don't want to suffer anymore. You turn away from him and close your eyes so you can rest from everything that happened, from all the pain.

Two days have passed, two days of rest, two days of having hallucinations of the man you love. It hurts so much to know it's not Troy because your Troy has been dead for years. Negan helped you a lot during this two days, just to do simple things or to cry in his arms, you are very grateful that he's there for you.

Today James comes home, your injury on the back of your head still hurts a little but you know you can handle it, you just want to see your son again.

Aaron had said he would bring James back in the morning, unfortunately you slept most of the morning. You look in his room to see if he's there but don't see any sign of him, he must be downstairs with Negan.

You slowly walk down the stairs and look into the living room but you still see no sign of your son, there aren't even his shoes at the entrance, you frown, because he has the habit of leaving them at the entrance when he comes home. You walk into the kitchen dining room where you see Negan making breakfast but still no sign of James, what's starting to worry you. You approach the kitchen island and Negan looks up.

“Well, hello sunshine” Negan smiles at you.

"Hello Negan" You respond, smiling back at him, but you're still worried about where your son is "uh…where is James ?"

“At Aaron’s” He answers and your smile disappears, you look at him confused.

“But I thought Aaron was supposed to bring him back this morning” You remind him, maybe he forgot.

“Yes, but I told him to keep James for a few more days” He answers, your eyebrows furrow even more in confusion but also in surprise.

“Why ?” You ask wanting to understand why he did that.

“You still need some rest” Negan answers, looking at you seriously.

"Negan that's not your decision to make" You say severe but not angry "I'm his mom so if I want to see my son, I will" You turn away from Negan and leave the kitchen dining room, to get your son back.

Negan’s hand takes your arm, stopping you in the living room before you can go any further. You look at him confused by his gesture.

“Where are you going ?” He asks but you know he already knows the answer.

“I’m going to get my son” You answer wanting him to let go of you but he still holds you. “Negan let me go”

"I will let you go and let you get your son if you tell me that you no longer have hallucinations of Troy" He says waiting for your answer, you look at him for a few seconds, then your eyes are drawn behind him and of course you see Troy leaning against the wall. Negan notices your eyes going behind him “Y/N this is not good for you”

“Yeah I know that, thank you” You respond scarstically, your eyes return to Negan. You know it's not good for you but there's nothing you can do about it, you can just wait for it to pass, hope it passes even if it hurts.

“It's not good for James either” He adds, you look at him with incomprehension, not good for James ?

"What do you mean ?" You ask, starting to feel the annoyance rising.

“Do you think it's good for him that his mom sees his dead father” His words hurt you, your eyes change with pain in them, you know he didn't mean to hurt you but he did.

“You can’t tell me that !” Your tone rise against him, how can he say that to you !? “I can't control it, okay ? I would like but I can't !” He looks at you with pity, it annoys you even more, you don't want him to look at you like that anymore.

“I just want what's good for you and for James” Negan's voice are soft, but that doesn't change your annoyance.

"Negan you're not my boyfriend and you're definitely not James' father" Your words hurt him, you can see it in his eyes but you don't care he hurt you too with his words.

"I know I'm not but I'm your friend, I care about you and-"

“Get out of my house” You interrupt him, your words surprise him, you manage to free yourself from his grip.

“No, I have to be there for you” He retorts without raising his voice.

“You don't have to be here anymore, I feel much better” You look at him seriously “So now you can go home and leave me alone”

“Don't be like that, sweetheart” His words and eyes are soft, he doesn’t want you two to argue.

“Like what ?” You ask tilting your head to the side, your eyes are not at all soft like his.

“Like I did something wrong” He gets a little closer to you but you step back, it hurts him a little more.

“And you think you haven’t ?” You ask, raising your eyebrows.

“Oh c’mon Y/N ! I just did something that I thought was good for you it's not like I shit at your front door !” He exclaims, he didn't think you would react like that "I just wanted to help you"

His last words make you feel guilty for having reacted this way, what happened to you ?

Your eyes soften this time, they are filled with guilt, you feel bad. He's been there for you these past few days and just for one thing he did that you don't like, you get mad at him, you're truly the worst friend for him.

Negan sees your eyes filled with guilt, he takes one of your hands in his and you let him do it. You look away from him, look at Negan's hand hold yours. You both stay in silence for a few seconds.

“You should go” You break the silence, not meeting Negan’s eyes.

“Are you kidding me ?” Negan asks surprised, he thought you had changed your mind. You finally raise your eyes to his, your gaze is serious and Negan understands that you are not joking "Look Y/N, I get it that you're mad at-"

"No, no it's not that" You interrupt him in his sentence, you squeeze his hand and look at him gently "I mean I'm a bit angry yeah, but you're right, bringing James back here while I'm still seeing Troy isn't a good idea. If he sees me talking to someone he can't see, it would be hard to explain to him that I'm seeing his father" Your eyes go behind him and look at your son's father, he smiles at you with eyes filled with love and yours filled with sadness "It would hurt me even more"

Negan looks at you, he sees your sad eyes looking at the hallucination of the man you loved and knows you still love. Negan's eyes on you are so soft, he wishes he could take away all the pain that you feel and that you have felt in the past, you are his friend, his best friend, he only wants your happiness, he cares about you so much.

“I just need to be alone” You let out a deep exhale at the end of your sentence, your eyes return to Negan, who immediately shakes his head.

“No way” Negan looks at you seriously, he doesn’t want to leave you alone.

“Let me handle this alone please” You try to persuade him to leave you, he could do much more interesting things than being with you. Negan still doesn't like what you're saying to him, doesn't like the idea of you being alone, you can see it on his face, you squeeze his hand to try to reassure him. "Like I told you, I feel much better and it's because of you, but there's nothing you can do about the hallucination, I just have to do this alone"

“It's not true you don't have to this alone” He says and he knows he's right, you smile at him, he's right, he can be with you.

“I want and I need to do this alone” You admit, you like having Negan with you but not for that. Negan looks you in the eyes, he would like to insist even more but if you say that's what you need, he won't insist anymore.

He nods his head to let you understand that he has given in and will not push anymore and you are so grateful. He approaches you, you understand that he wants to hug you so you place your head against his chest and he wraps one arm around you and the other places his hand on the back of your head delicately. You feel his lips kiss the top of the head, you smile loving this action.

"Don't hesitate if you need me" He says caressing your back, you nod against his chest. You both stay like that for a few more minutes in silence. You finally move away from the hug. “I made you breakfast, you better eat it” you laugh a little and nod your head again.

“I'll make you a pie to thank you” Not just thank him for breakfast but thank him for being there and to let you handle it alone. He smiles happy to learn that he will be able to eat a pie.

“Yeah but this time it's me who's going to get the blueberries” You couldn’t agree more with him. He keeps his eyes on you for a little while longer, then he sighs and walks away from you, your eyes following Negan leaving your house.

“Finally only you and me” The voice of the hallucination speaks, making you look at him, he moves closer to you, you don't step back, you let him move closer to you. “You know I’m here for you, you don’t need him”

“He's my best friend” You just say, Troy shakes his head, he cups your face with one hand, you can feel the warmth of his hand as if it were real.

"And I'm your boyfriend" He says, caressing your cheek with his thumb, you smile sadly and you place your hand on his hand that is on your cheek, you feel the skin of his hand under your palm, it seems so real.

"But you're not real" You let your hand fall then you move away from him to go into the kitchen to eat the breakfast that Negan made for you, leaving the hallucination behind you and trying not to think about it anymore, it's going to be hard, but it really needs to go away, for your own good.

You knock on the door in front of you and wait for someone to open it, you pull your jacket tighter around you to try to protect yourself from the morning cold. You woke up an hour ago and all you want is to see your son. Yesterday was a long day, Troy kept appearing and talking to you, it tired you even more mentally, so you really needed to do something else today and get out for a bit. You look around hoping Negan doesn't notice you, because you know that even though he told you he would leave you alone, if he sees you now, he'll just want to take you home.

The sound of the door opening takes you out of your thoughts, you turn your eyes towards the person who opened the door, Aaron's face is surprised to see you.

“Morning Aaron” You smile and raise your hand to greet him.

"Hi, I wasn't expecting to see you today" he says, still slightly surprised.

“Well I was going to go crazy if I didn’t go out” You laugh and Aaron gives an amused smile and then his eyes move around looking for someone, you know who he’s looking for. “Negan is not here” You add, it makes him feel better to not having to confront him. He moves away from the door and asks you to come in, and you do.

"We're having breakfast" He says closing the door behind you "You can join us, I think it would do your son good"

“And to me too” You add, it was hard to be without him for those few days. Aaron walks past you and you follow him until you arrive at the dining room where you immediately see your son sitting at the table with Gracie eating, you smile happy to see him again.

Your son's head turns towards Aaron and you when he hears footsteps and as soon as he sees you his eyes light up, you smile even more when you notice that.

“Mom ?!” He asks surprised, like he's not sure if you're really there. You approach the table at the same time your son gets up and wraps his arms around you, you also wrap your arms around him.

“Hi James” You say leaning down a little and kissing your son's hair, James is the first to pull away from the hug much to your dismay, he looks at you with a small frown.

“You finally healed ?” He asks with hope in his voice and eyes, it breaks your heart a little, you can see he just wants to go home but you know that won't be possible not while you still see Troy. You haven't seen him yet this morning, so maybe he's gone, but you have to be sure.

“I’m a little better but I still need some rest” You admit without telling him the real reason. The hope in your son's eyes immediately disappears, it hurts you to see. “I’m sorry honey”

“It’s okay, I just want you to get better” James smiles at you, your heart warms at his words, finding it adorable. You lean down again and kiss the top of his head. You pull away and look at Aaron.

“Would you like to keep him a bit longer ?” You ask Aaron, you don't want to bother him too much since he has a lot of things to do in Alexandria.

“Yes of course” He answers with a smile, that reassures you a little. You nod to thank him “Come join us for breakfast” He sits next to his daughter and looks at the empty chair for you to sit down.

“But I thought you needed some rest” Your son points out, you look at him and see confusion, you comb his hair with your fingers.

“I need it but I also need a breakfast with my son” You respond smiling which makes him smile too, he walks away, sits on the chair he was sitting on a few seconds ago. You take off your jacket and place it on the back of the chair next to your son then sit.

Around the table, the four of you eat breakfast, talking about what James did during these few days at Aaron's. James laughs and smiles, you miss hearing his laugh and seeing his happy smile, you need it because these days haven't been very happy for you, so just that, cheers you up.

You smile at your son and look him talk about how much he can't wait to see a movie. Aaron said that the Commonwealth is going to show the first Ghostbusters next week in their theater, you were surprised to hear that, it's been so long since you've seen a movie. James immediately asked you if you could go and of course you couldn't refuse, especially because of the way he looked at you with puppy eyes.

You're so happy to see him so excited to watch a movie, your eyes are suddenly drawn to what's next to him. Your eyes fall on Troy's familiar form, your smile falling at the sight of him. He looks at your son with a smile, the same smile you did, admiration in Troy's eyes is present and it hurts you so much.

Why does it have to appear now ?

Why when you are with your son ?

Why when you feel happy ?

This is the first time you see him with James and you hoped you'd never see him with him, because you know very well it would hurt you and that's exactly the case right now. It’s everything you ever wanted Troy to be there for your… his son. Seeing him next to James gives you hope but he's not real, Troy looks up at you, you keep your eyes on him but tears form.

“Can Negan come with us ?” Your son's voice asks but you don't even hear it. When you don't answer your son turns his head towards you, he's a bit confused "Mom ?" he shakes your arm to make you look at him and you do, you blink a few times so the tears don't escape your eyes.

“What is it ?” You ask your son, raising your eyebrows and trying not to show him that something is wrong, you don't want to worry him.

“Can Negan come with us to watch the movie ?” He repeats, not really paying attention to why you didn’t answer him the first time.

"Um…we'll h-have to ask him" You stutter while answering, James gives you a big smile at your answer, then he goes back to talking with Aaron and Gracie.

“I could come, I'm his father, not Negan” Troy's words, make your heart clench painfully. His words are true but Troy is dead and James needs a father figure, Negan is the only one you trust the most to be one.

“I have to go” You announce getting up from the chair, you take your jacket and put it on. You notice James' sad eyes looking at you, he wants you to stay and you want the same too but if you stay you might very well burst into tears because of Troy and you don't want that, not in front of your son. “Thanks Aaron for the breakfast and thanks again to keep James.” Aaron nods at you in response.

“Don't go, I want to be with my son” You try not to pay attention to what Troy is saying and you lean over the back of your son's chair and kiss the top of his head.

“I love you” You whisper into his brown hair, you pull away and he tilts his head back and smiles at you, it makes you smile a little.

You say goodbye to everyone and leave Aaron's house, followed by Troy who walks next to you, you put your hands in the pockets of your jacket and don't even glance at the hallucination.

"I don't understand why he can't come home with us" Troy says, you close your eyes for a few seconds and let out an exhale then you continue on your way without paying attention to him. "He should be with his mother and his father"

You walk faster now, just wanting to go home and sleep, without having to hear him again. Arriving in front of your house you quickly climb the porch steps then open the door at the same speed, the hallucination of Troy ready to enter but before, you close the door. You let out a sigh and place your back against the door, and close your eyes. You thought he was gone but no he came back when you didn't want.

“Are you ignoring me now ?”You hear the voice of the hallucination asking, you open your eyes and see him in front of you, looking at you with raised eyebrows, tears forming once again. You walk away from the door and enter the living room, you take off your jacket and throw it on the couch.

You turn to go into the kitchen but Troy appears and blocks your way, he raises his hand to take yours but you take a step back.

“Leave me alone” You beg, your eyes closing and your fists clenching.

“No” You hear him say, you open your teary eyes.

"Why? Why don't you want to leave me ?!" You ask, you are angry but above all very sad. He smiles at you sadly.

“Because you don't want me to leave you…again” The truth of his words make you step back once again, you shake your head “You like me being here”

“No I hate it !” You exclaim with a tear rolling down your cheek,he gets a little closer but you step back again and that makes him stop.

“And at the same time you like it, you can lie to anyone but not to me” he says the truth and you know it, your lips tremble ready to burst into tears.

"But you're not real" You repeat the same words to him as yesterday, another tear escapes from your eye "You're dead and seeing you hurts me, it hurts me even more when I see you with James"

Troy doesn't say anything, he just walks towards you, you don't step back this time, you're just tired of all the pain. His blue eyes look at you with so much love it was the same look he gave you after the first kiss you shared so many years ago. You smile sadly at this memory and Troy does the same thing like he remembers it too.

“Please, please leave me alone” Your voice breaks at the end of your sentence and you burst into tears, your knees give way and you fall on the living room floor, you can no longer control yourself, sobs escape from your mouth.

Arms surround you, you know it's Troy and you let him do it, right now you don't care that he's not real. You lay your head on his chest, closing your eyes and sobbing into it. He strokes your hair with one hand to comfort you.

“Do you really want me to go ?” Even with your loud sobs you hear him ask, you nod against his chest. You don't really want it, but you know it's what's best for everyone "All right"

You feel his lips on the top of your head, he gives you a simple kiss then suddenly, you feel like Troy's arms aren't there anymore, not even his body, just a coldness covers you instead of his arms. You open your eyes, you don't see his chest just the walls and furniture of your living room. You are confused your eyes red from tears, look around the room.

Where is he ?

You finally understand when you don't see him anywhere in the room, he's gone, he's finally leave you.

That he's no longer there didn't help, it's quite the opposite. The tears fall again, you put your head on the floor and sob even more, so much that the tears fall on the floor.

He was right you didn't want to lose him again, but that's what just happened, you lost him a second time even if it wasn't real. The fact that he's no longer here hurts you even more than when you saw him.

“Goodbye Troy, goodbye my love” You speak in a broken voice. You say goodbye to the hallucination but also to your Troy who died several years ago, you finally let him go, you were never able to do it before but now that you were able to see him one last time you can do it. You will miss him every day but now maybe you will finally be able to move on.

You place the pie in the oven, close the door then turn it on so the pie can bake. You look at the pie lit by the oven lights with a smile on your face.

“So, happy you finally made it ?” The voice behind you asks, you turn to the person still smiling. Your eyes meet Negan who also smiles.

"Yeah, I am" You answer and Negan's smile widens when he sees how happy you look.

"You seem to feel much better" Negan points out, he's right and you feel it too.

It's been five days now since you last saw a hallucination of Troy. You still waited two days to be sure and when you were, your son was finally able to come home to his great joy. It was still hard to no longer see him, no longer hear his voice, that's why on the evening of the second day, you went to see Negan to tell him and he immediately comforted you and that really helped you.

Now you're happy, you really are, you should feel bad for it but you're not, it's been several years now since Troy died, you have the right to move on and not feel guilty about it. You will never forget Troy, he will always be the person you loved the most, he will always be in your heart.

“I’m much better” Your smile gets bigger, you’re also happy because he’s here.

“You deserve it sweetheart” His words warm your heart but also what he called you, you feel your cheeks warm up like the first time he called you like that, now every time he does it, you have this reaction, you don't really know why. You move your eyes away from him and place them on the kitchen island in front of you, you have to clean it, you take a cloth and start to do it. “Thanks again for the blueberries”

“Well I told you last time I would go get them, I just kept my word no need to thank me” You hear him say, you look up at him and see him getting up from the stool, he approaches you, you frown but when you see him take the dishes you used and put them in the sink, you understand what he is doing.

“You don’t have to” You say but he turns on the tap and starts washing the dishes.

“I'm so used to helping you” He turns his head towards you and winks, you roll your eyes in amusement at that.

“I should hire you as a cleaning man then” You continue to clean the island, you can hear a snicker coming from Negan.

“I accept if I can have the sexy outfit” He turns his head again and gives you a smirk, you look at him and giggle imagining him in a sexy outfit.

“Deal” You say with a smirk on your face too, he raises his eyebrows you look at each other for a few seconds then you burst out laughing. You calm down and continue doing what you were both doing.

When you have finished cleaning, you stand next to Negan, leaning on the worktop behind you. You stare into space listening to the sound of the water for a few seconds then remember something you need to ask Negan.

“Oh before I forget, in two days the Commonwealth is showing the movie Ghostbusters in their cinema” You began and look at Negan, he turns his gaze towards you, with his eyebrows raised for you to continue “I'm taking James to see it and he asked me if you could come with us, so you wanna come ?”

"Ghostbusters ? You believe in ghosts ?" He asks amusedly without answering your question.

“Oh yeah sure, I put salt all over my house” You answer with a smilie on your face. “You should do it”

“Who says I don’t already do it ?” He gives you a mysterious look then turns his gaze to the dishes in the sink, you roll your eyes in amusement.

“So are you coming with us ?” You ask again.

“Do you really think I’m going to say no ?” He chuckles, it's true that you were a bit afraid that he wouldn't come but that reassures you now. He finishes washing a dish then puts it in the drainer to let it dry, he wipes his hands on a cloth, then he turns his body towards you. "Yes I will come"

“Great, James will be happy” You say, running your hand through your hair.

“Only James ?” Negan asks, you look at him with confusion in your eyes, he moves a little closer to you. “Aren’t you happy that I’m coming ?” a smirk forms on his lips, you roll your eyes in amusement once again, realizing what he's doing.

“Are you flirting with me Mr. Smith ?” You ask, raising your eyebrows and biting your lower lip.

“I wouldn’t dare Miss L/N” He anwsers, still with his smirk, you both look at each other for a few seconds.

You notice Negan's eyes looking at your lips, you lower your eyes from his to look at his lips. You raise your eyes to his, he does the same thing. Your lips part and your breathing quickens, Negan moves even closer to you. You two are so close, Negan leans his head towards you and you don't move away, you feel his breath on you getting closer and closer. There is almost nothing separating the two of you, you half close your eyes ready for what is going to happen.

A knock on the front door immediately makes you open your eyes wide and move away from him, you blink several times suddenly feeling very embarrassed by what almost happened between Negan and you, there is another louder knock on your door.

“I-I'm going t-to see who it is” You stutter and quickly move away from Negan so you can open the door. Arriving at the door you sigh to calm your nerves then open it, it's Gabriel, you smile at him "Gabriel what can I do for you ?"

“There’s a new group that just arrived” He announces to you, you hear footsteps behind you, you don’t need to turn around to know that it’s Negan. You frown well you didn't expect that but also you wonder why he came just to tell you that, Gabriel must understand what you're thinking "They said they knew Morgan" your eyes widen at what he said.

Could it be them ?

You look at Negan behind you, he is quite confused but when he meets your eyes he understands, your eyes return to Gabriel.

"Where are they ?" You ask pressed by his response.

"At the gate with Aaron" He answers quickly, you don't waste any more time and pass next to him and run towards the gate.

So many questions are popping up in your head and you're only a few steps away from having the answers. You finally arrive at the gate you approach a little closer with a smile but suddenly your smile immediately fades when you lay your eyes on the first person you notice.

You thought you would never see this person again

You thought this person was dead.

You wish this person would stay dead.

This person is none other than the person you hate the most in this world.

The person who killed the man you loved, the father of your child.

Madison Clark.

She is in front of you but she hasn't noticed you yet. The anger immediately rises, you see a cart full of weapons on it, certainly the weapons of each person in the group. You take a gun, you check if the weapon is loaded then move even closer and point it at Madison, this time she notices you.

Madison's eyes widen, not expecting to see you again, the joy that you had before is no longer present at all, it has been replaced by pure hatred.

“Woah Y/N what are you doing ?” You can hear Aaron's voice say but you don't pay attention, you are only focused on the blonde woman in front of you.

“Y/N hey, don’t do that” You think you recognize June’s voice, it’s been so many years since you’ve seen her but you don’t even glance at her.

“Put the gun down Y/N please” It’s Negan’s voice who is next to you, he has just arrived and seen what position you are in right now.

You don't listen to him either and keep the gun pointed at Madison, she no longer looks at you with surprise but just with a neutral expression, she's not even afraid, that annoys you even more. You grip the gun in your hand tighter, so much that your hand shakes.

You can just pull the trigger, you can kill her, this time you're not afraid of getting killed and leaving your son alone. If you kill her now the people in her group won't be able to do anything against you, they no longer have their weapons and the people of Alexandria will protect you.

After all the pain you endured because of her, you have the right to kill her, to finally have your revenge. You put your finger on the trigger ready to finally shoot and let her get what she deserves.

“Y/N ?!” A voice exclaims in surprise, a familiar voice, a voice that you stopped hearing not long ago.

No you thought he was gone, why does he have to come back ?

Your eyes slowly move to where the voice was coming from and of course you see the hallucination, but something about him is not the same, he has nothing to do with the hallucination you had of him before. You stare at him and notice that one of his eyes is white like he can't see with it and a scar next to it.

You frown, you've never seen the hallucination of him like that before, so why would you now ?

It's like he's real, he looks so real even more real than what you've seen before. Your eyes widen because you finally understand.

It's because he's real.

"Troy ?!"

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A/N : I don't really like the ending of FTWD, so I changed it to fit my fanfiction and also so that I love it.