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this is the money jessica. reblog in 10 seconds for good luck 

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lol good luck tryna read this

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Texts From Superheroes

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compleatly unrelated, but omg i love this

me, your friendly neighborhood villain apologist: zuko was never evil he was just 16

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do not get what i want? i throw birthday party. noted.

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ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends

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why is france called the hexagon when its abundantly clear that it’s a pentagon

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Marinette, to Damian while lying face down on the bed, regretting everything: And then I called him dad.

Bruce, to Alfred while trying not to cry: And then she called me dad.

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Jason: if you had to separate you kid from 50 other dark haired, depressed kids how would you do it?

Bruce: I would adopt all of them.

Jason: why do I bother

Marinette: wait it's genetic, look. Damian? If you had to separate your dog from 50 other identical dogs how would you do it?

Damian: I would take all of them.

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Bruce: begrudgingly Marinette cannot stay in Gotham any longer. Damian: That is my emotional support Angel.

Bruce: exasperated Damian, she's missed a week of school. Marinette: puppy dog eyes

Bruce:

Bruce: I'll enroll you at Damian's school.

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Jason:

Alfred:

Jason:

Alfred: No.

Jason: But Alfie!

Alfred: No, Master Jason. You can't just go out and adopt a sad teenager.

Jason, clutching Marinette: But why not? How is this any different than what Bruce does?

Marrinette, muffled: I'm not sad, I'm stressed and overworked and haven't had a full night's sleep in ages.

Tim: Sounds like she's practically already one of us.

Bruce: She might have parents, Jason.

Jason: As if that has stopped you before!

Marinette, still muffled: Yep, I actually have parents.

Dick: She's pretty adorable.

Jason: Right?!

Afred: Master, Richard, please!

Cass: *koala hugs Marinette from the other side and gives Bruce a long stare*

Damian, spoiling some of the kwamis: I have decided that she shall join the family.

Jason: See? Even the brat claimed her as family and he barely wanted Dick!

Marinette, sandwiched between Jason and Cass and trying to speak louder: Actually I'm only here because I really think we might need help against our Parisian villain.

Bruce: You're fighting a villain? I assume you're a sidekick? Who's your mentor?

Alfred, dangerously low: Master Bruce.

Marinette: Not a sidekick. Since our Mentor lost his memories and our temporary heroes got exposed it's just my partner and I.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: So-

Alfred: OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

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Marinette: *calls Bruce Wayne “sir”*

Bruce: Just call me Bruce

Marinette: Sorry, sir I mean, Bruce...sir

Bruce: Bruce

Marinette: Mr. Bruce

Bruce: No, just Bruce

Marinette: B-Bruce

Bruce: yes

Marinette:

Bruce:

Marinette: sir

Bruce: oH MY GOD

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Bruce: I do not think of Marinette as my daughter!

*phone falls onto the ground, with Marinette as the lock screen*

Bruce: I was hacked

*Adpotion papers fall out of his pockets*

Bruce: *picking them up* These aren’t mine

*contact shows he’s listed Marinette as ‘Marinette-my daughter’*

Bruce: *shoving papers into a briefcase* I have to go

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[Damian is 10 y.o.] Damian: Do you want a cookie?

Dick: What?

Damian: A cookie. Like an Oreo. Do you want one?

Dick: No.

Damian: How can you not want a cookie?

Dick: I just don't.

Damian: Okay, fine, let's say you did want a cookie. Let's say you were dying for a cookie, and there were cookies in the cupboard. What would you do?

Dick: I'd eat a cookie?

Damian: Exactly. That's all I'm saying.

Dick: What are you saying?

Damian: That if people want cookies, they should get a cookie. It's what people do.

Dick: Let me guess. Bruce won't let you have a cookie?

Damian: No. Even though I'm practically starving to death, he won't even consider it. He says I have to have a sandwich first.

Dick: And you don't think that's fair.

Damian: You just said you'd get a cookie if you wanted one. So why can't I? I'm not a little kid. I can make my own decisions.

Dick: Hmm. I can see why this bothers you so much.

Damian: It's not fair. If he wants a cookie, he can have one. If you want a cookie, you can have one. But if I want a cookie, the rules don't count. Like you said, it's not fair.

Dick: So what are you going to do?

Damian [sighs in defeat]: I'm going to eat a sandwich. Because I have to. Because the world isn't fair to ten-year-olds.

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Bruce: When I said you two should try being friendlier, this isn't what I meant

Marinette, string tea aggressively: Oh, so now we're too friendly?

Damian: There is no pleasing you, is there?

Burglar that broke in two hours ago: Two sugars please?

Damian: Coming right up

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Marinette cheerfully: if you want to kill them, kill them with kindness!

Jason smiling indulgently: That's cute sunshine but-

Damian just waiting sceptically looking at Marinette. Wait for it, wait for it.

Marinette still smiling: it's easy! You buy a sword, name it kindness and kill them with kindness.

Damian nods: yep, there it is.