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Rereading your guys' stuff and I swear I get chills every time I read "We're no longer on a first-name basis, Morality." Keep it up!! <3

You caught us in the middle of brainstorming!

Here have our reactions:

:D thank you for rereading! It means a lot to us!

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Oh, no!! It's okay! I assumed that my ask was eaten, but forgot to resend it! By the way!! I got an account (finally) :3

*gasp* HIIIIIIIIIIIII

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OH my goodness!! I can't believe I missed an update!!!! (I was at summer camp) Ann, Nugget, this is amazing!! The scene between Janus and Virgil, the play on words with the title, the way Virgil was winning Janus's game, OR the way Logan called their anger illogical (in his mind, but still oh my god)!!! AMAZING WORK!!! Keep it up. Love, Fanon :3

We're glad those parts stood out like we wanted them to!! They were really fun to write. Ann loved when Nugget wrote that line about Logan not thinking the Umbra Sides had any logical reason, and Nugget got super excited when Ann pointed out it was Janus's game Virgil was winning. Thanks for reading! Love, Ann and Nugget! <3

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GOD this is amazing!

Aaaaaaa, thank you! Cannot words because nice but thank you!

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Chapter Four: They’re Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies

Virgil was tearing apart his room. Where was his copy of the Divine Comedy? It wasn’t on his shelf or in his bed, or anywhere else it should be. In fact, the last place he remembered seeing it was…

“Shit,” Roman looked up from his phone, watching with a raised brow as Virgil ran a hand through his hair. “I think I left it in the Light Commons.” 

“Oh, that sucks. Do you want me to go with you to get it?” asked Roman.

“Yes, please,” said Virgil.

The two Sides sank out into the Light Sides’ living room, where they saw Patton and Logan sitting on the couch. Virgil immediately knew finding his book was not worth this.

"What are you two doing here?” Patton asked. “Are... are you coming back, and not being Umbra Sides anymore?" 

Roman froze. Virgil did too for a second, and then he said, "Yeah, no. I left my copy of the Divine Comedy here, and once I get it we're getting out of your space again." 

Patton deflated and said "Oh..." really disappointedly.

Virgil checked that Roman was doing okay. He knew how it felt. He knew that it was awful for others to perceive you as bad. To hear the disappointment in their voices, or to see them give up on you. Worse, he knew how it felt for others to feel disgusted by your presence. To be unwanted and hated. Luckily for Roman, Patton just seemed confused and a little sad. So far, at least. And if Virgil had a say in it, Roman would never be hated. Roman would never feel that way.

Thankfully, he only sensed nervousness from his friend, nothing more intense. So he continued, "If you don't mind, I'm fairly sure my book is somewhere around here, so..."

"Yeah, go ahead," Patton said dejectedly.

Virgil and Roman began looking around. After a few minutes, Virgil pulled a beat up book out from under the couch. "Found it."

Patton looked at them sadly, and Virgil fought back the guilt he hadn't felt in a long time. This was good. This was what they deserved. 

Logan watched the so-called "Umbra" Sides leave, frustrated that he was left with more questions than answers. There was only one way to get those; Thomas needed to call a meeting.

"Wait," Patton called out, interrupting Logan's thoughts. The two Sides stopped.

"What?" Roman asked shortly.

"Roman—"

"You may call me Creativity or the General," interrupted Roman.

Patton blinked, confused. "The— the General? Wait, why can't I call you Roman?"

"We're no longer on a first-name basis, Morality."

"I'm confused," said Logan. "You and Virgil—"

"Why would we let you guys use my name when we aren't letting you use the General's?"

"But why?" Patton repeated.

"I gave you my name because I trusted you," said Virgil. "I don't anymore. The General and I are leaving now. Goodbye." 

They sank into their Commons, and Virgil almost instantly collapsed onto the couch, letting out a sigh. “God, that was nerve-wracking.” He ran a hand through his hair, staring at his book. 

“Really?” said Roman. “I mean, it was, but… you didn’t seem worried at all.”

“Oh, good. I wasn’t sure if I was pulling that off.”

Roman blinked. “Pulling it off? Even I didn’t know you were worried, and you’re Paranoia.” 

Virgil considered that for a moment, trying his best to stop thinking about how badly acting unconcerned had gone before. Honestly, he'd always been surprised they didn't pick up on the facade. He'd always thought he was pretty bad keeping one up. At least, he’d often seen better. “I guess I just… didn’t want them to know they startled me.”

“Huh. Well, it worked,” said Roman. “You’re… a little bit concerningly good at that.”

“I used to be worse,” said Virgil. “Jan— um. I used to be worse at it.”

Roman pretended not to notice that Virgil was leaving something unsaid and, though Virgil didn’t mention it, he seemed to be grateful for this. Virgil was entitled to his secrets. Still, being Creativity, Roman had to wonder. What wasn’t Virgil saying? But he decided to put that thought to one side, instead of putting it to the other Side. 

Meanwhile, Logan rose up in the real world, quickly followed by Patton. Not one to mince words, Logan said, “Thomas. Call a meeting immediately.”

“Manners, Logan,” Patton reminded him.

Logan sighed. “Thomas. Call a meeting immediately, please.”

Thomas gave them both a confused look, but did so anyway. Logan, in most cases at least, knew what he was doing. He was a bit startled that Roman rose up the same time Virgil appeared, almost as if they’d planned it. Janus had yet to show, but he’d been there eventually. Which was rather unfortunate in the Umbra Sides’ minds.

Quickly dismissing the surprise, Thomas said, “Hi, Roman! Hi, Virgil!”

“Oh, um— actually, they—” Patton began.

“No, wait,” said Virgil.

“We can make exceptions,” Roman said.

“Exceptions?” asked Thomas, confused. “Exceptions to what?”

Logan adjusted his glasses, wondering how to begin. “I suppose Patton and I are no longer allowed to use their names. I believe it was because, according to them, they no longer trust us.” He was a bit frustrated by that. He couldn’t think of any logical reason they’d be upset.

“But don’t worry, you’re good, Thomas,” said Roman.

Thomas took a moment to process. “Um, okay. So, uh, Logan, why did you want me to call a meeting?”

“This reason precisely, Thomas.” Logan gestured to the two self-claimed “Umbra” sides, noticing for the first time they were standing closer together than usual, “If Creativity and Anxiety-” 

“Wrong,” Virgil interrupted him, sounding apathetic.

Logan looked almost offended. “Wrong? What, precisely, is that supposed to mean?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “It means you’re wrong. I’m not Anxiety. Not anymore.”

That was when Janus showed up.

At a glance, nothing had changed in the room. Thomas, Patton, Roman, and Virgil were still in their original spots. Except, now that Janus looked a bit longer, Virgil and Roman were closer together, and judging by their outfits, something had definitely changed. Janus would have liked to ask what was happening, but Logan was already talking. “What is the point of lying about that? I don’t understand.”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t hear anyone lie.”

Logan, along with Patton and Thomas, blinked in confusion. Janus scanned the faces in the room, realizing in a start where he recognized Virgil’s outfit. He rolled his eyes, “Please, Paranoia, I thought you threw that thing out ages ago.” 

Patton cleared his throat, “You mean Anxiety?”

“Nope,” said Virgil.

“No?” said Janus, a hint of surprise leaking into his voice against his will.

“Wait, wait, wait,” said Thomas.  “You’re going by Paranoia now? I thought you hated being called that.”

Though Virgil spoke to Thomas, he was looking at Janus as he responded, as if daring him to do something— no one could tell what. “I am Paranoia now, Thomas.”

Janus could feel the way the mood in the room had shifted. He knew Virgil expected something from Janus. A fight, perhaps, or even a grin. Both of their faces stayed blank until Janus spoke. 

“Going by Paranoia again? That’s a Dark name. Then again,” Janus grinned, “We both know I’ve always believed Light Sides and Dark Sides could get along.”

Virgil’s expression shifted immediately. Now he was tilting his head with a wide, unsettling grin, and the eyes he locked onto Janus’s were twinkling with an emotion the rest of the Sides were too afraid to identify. “Oh?” he said. “Really, Janus, tell me more about what we both know you’ve always believed.” 

No one was entirely sure what was happening, perhaps not even Janus knew. But Virgil did. It was obvious by the broken smile plastered across his face, the hatred in his gaze, and the way Janus faltered, uncomfortable. 

But, he was nothing if not Deceit. He put up a mask of calm, a casual smile painted on his face. “Oh, come now, Paranoia. Did you ever believe I felt otherwise?”

Virgil’s grin widened. In a terrifying voice, he said, “I did what I did in spite of you, and you are not in control here. Do not try that.”

Thomas looked back and forth between the two Sides. He didn’t know what they were talking about, but he could tell two things. One, they were playing a game of lies and hidden meanings and facades, exactly Janus’s forte. And two, Virgil was right: Janus wasn’t the one in control. Virgil was.

Everyone felt a chill go down their spine as Virgil laughed, mirthless and hysterical. “Then, again! That’s what you do, don’t you? Control everyone!” He stopped for a moment, then shouted. “Watch out!” Thomas and Patton flinched, “I think I broke my leash!” 

Three Sides and a human stared, worried about what might happen next. Not what Janus would do; that was barely a concern, if at all. But how would Virgil react? What on earth was going on with him?

“Calm down, Virgil,” said Janus (sounding ever so slightly… nervous? The Sides had never seen him nervous before), “if you don’t want to—”

“Don’t want to what?” Virgil interrupted, his voice harsh and grating. “Lose control, like you?” He let out another bark of laughter. Then his voice smoothed. “But don’t worry, I’m perfectly calm.” 

Janus’s facade faltered for a moment, Deceit losing at his own game. He managed, though, despite the shock at Virgil’s words, his actions. “Why, Paranoia, I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.”

“You never do,” Virgil said, tilting his head. “You think you do, but you don’t.” There was a moment of silence as they all waited for Virgil to continue. Then Virgil smiled, an almost normal and friendly smile, and said “Why would I give up an advantage like that? You used to understand, back when I didn’t have to fight you. But luckily for me, both of those changed at the same time.”

Thomas hesitantly spoke up. “Sorry, guys, uh… what’s going on? This is… a lot of emotions, and I don’t even know why.” 

Janus finally took his eyes off of Virgil, they all did, and turned to look at Thomas. He tried to explain something he couldn’t. It was a secret too big, and it was one that didn’t belong to him alone. Janus turned back to Virgil, they needed to talk about this, but Virgil had already grabbed Roman’s arm and sunk out. Janus tried his best not to think about the last time Virgil sunk out after an argument with him. 

In the Umbra Sides’ commons, Virgil finally dropped the false expression and broke down into sobs that shook his body. Roman quickly guided him to the floor before he had the chance to just let his knees give out. “Breathe, Virge. Come on, Noia, you don’t have to do anything else, just breathe.”

“It— he— I— and we— he never— Roman!” Virgil gasped out. 

Roman soothed him the best he can, “Hey, hey, I’m here. Listen to me, Virgil. It’s okay, you’re okay. It’s okay.” 

Virgil shook his head, managing to get a sentence out, “H-how could he?”

Roman just held him close, whispering the familiar comforts over and over. It’s okay. Just breathe. I’m here. Roman was there for Virgil, and Virgil was certain that Roman was the only one he could trust anymore. So he stayed in Roman’s arms as he cried and cried and cried. Roman hoped this wouldn’t be as frequent as it’d been so far. But if it was, he’d just do what he could. The Umbra Sides stayed there for a long time. Virgil slowly got quieter, to Roman’s relief. After what felt like at least an hour, Virgil was silent. Roman squeezed his hand gently. Virgil didn’t squeeze back, he just stayed limp. After a few moments, Roman realized: Virgil was asleep.  

Roman smiled slightly, picking up Virgil to set him in a more comfortable spot on the couch. He summoned a weighted blanket, draping it across Virgil. Virgil had promised to always be there, and Roman was going to return the favor. Besides, for all the struggling Roman was feeling from switching sides, he couldn’t imagine what Virgil was going through. 

To switch sides for a second time? To be considered a villain by those you’re trying to protect, and then not being listened to by the ones you love? And to deal with the past being dredged up by that scheming sinister snake. 

So he really couldn’t blame Virgil for breaking down. But he could blame the others for trying to call Paranoia. Why did they expect him to come and talk right after what had just happened? They called for him again. Roman scowled and checked to make sure Virgil hadn’t been disturbed, then sank out. “Leave him alone,” he said.

“Ro— General, we need to talk,” said Patton. “There’s clearly a lot going on right now. We need Paranoia to come.”

“Not now. Leave him alone,” Roman repeated. 

Logan opened his mouth to argue, but Roman was gone. 

Janus sighed, “This… is not good.”

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Ask for Ann only!! What's it like working with Nugget? Be honest! -Fanon

Really fun! They have lots of ideas, they’re easy to cooperate with, they can do plot (which I am very much not good at), and they’re great overall. They’re not online much, but that’s not really their fault, and I always get really excited when they are online! So, yeah, they’re really fun to work with!

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Ask for Nugget only!! What's it like working with Ann? Be honest! -Fanon

AMAZING!!!!!!!!! I LOVE ANN SO MUCH!!! Ann is super nice and understand!! When I have to leave, Ann is always super cool with it and just.... FEELINGS FANON I HAVE POSITIVE PLATONIC FEELINGS!!! Nice! Understanding! Amazing! Screams with me about glitter and song lyrics!!! 100000/10 One of the BEst People I Know!! 💖💖💖💖💖

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Oh my gosh!! The new chapter is SO good! I'm loving the Roman-Virgil angst. Question that doesn't really have anything to do with the au (sorry!): How did you two meet? I'm curious! -Fanon

*drinks loving Fanon juice*

It all started during October, the month of Halloween, on this post. We screamed in chaotic unison and have been screaming together ever since. Your question incited yet more screaming, so thank you.

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Chapter Three: Rarities and Commons

Thomas stared blankly at Logan. “I don’t understand.”

Logan sighed and began explaining again, for what had to be the third time. The mindscape was ever-shifting. It changed often to accommodate the sides, and was a very fluid place. But if there was one thing that usually stayed the same- except for when Virgil had been accepted- it was the hallway.

Usually, the doors went in the order from Patton, Roman, and Logan which were in the lightest part of the hallway, then Virgil’s, which was in a slightly grayer portion of the hall, and then Janus and Remus’s doors.

But, as Logan had noticed around twenty minutes ago, the doors had shifted for the first time he could remember since Virgil had joined the lights. First was Patton’s as usual, then his and then Janus’s were in the light. Roman’s and Virgil’s doors were next, and they seemed darker than usual. Then Remus, down at the end.

But the change in the doors wasn’t the most concerning event. No, the thing that had made them call in Thomas was the new commons, which neither of them could access.

Thomas's brow furrowed in confusion. “And you think... that I can access it?”

“It’s your mind; you can access anything as long as you know about it,” said Logan. “That’s why we needed you to get us to Virgil’s room that first time.”

“We just want you to go and see what’s in there,” said Patton. “And if you can, find out why it’s there.”

Thomas nodded, still unsure. If Virgil were here, he’d probably disagree with this. Actually- where was Virgil? A mystery commons seemed like the type of danger he usually felt uneasy about.  “Riiight... I pop down into this random locked commons and- wait, how do I get there?”

“You just rise up, like when you go to any other part of the mindscape,” said Patton.

“What if I can’t get in?” asked Thomas.

“You should be able to, but if it doesn’t let you through, we’ll figure something out,” said Logan.

Thomas nodded, closing his eyes and trying to access the new addition to the mindscape. It shouldn’t be too hard right?

It wasn’t, actually. It was incredibly easy, and when he opened his eyes he had to wonder how it had been hard for the others. And then he saw something... odd. There were two Sides sitting in the commons. They were wearing outfits that Thomas had never seen before, but they seemed oddly familiar.

Then one of them casually said “Oh, hello, Thomas,” and the other gave a two-fingered salute, and Thomas was hit with recognition. Roman and Virgil.

Thomas said, “What’s going on? Why are you dressed like that? And how are you here? No one else can get in.”

“Of course they can’t get in. We don’t want them to.”

“But... do you mean this is your commons? How does that even work?”

It was then that Virgil spoke up. “This is the Umbra Sides’ commons.”

“Umbra...?”

“Umbra. Not dark and not light,” said Roman.

“Dim shadows, pale ghosts,” Virgil added.

“Us,” they said in unison.

“Okay, that was creepy...”

“Thanks,” said Virgil.

“You’re welcome," said Thomas. "Um, why are you doing this?”

 Roman spoke up first, “Because we... We deserve better. We need to be...”

“Listened to,” Virgil cut in. “And even if you try to listen, the others don’t.”

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea you felt that way,” said Thomas.

“It’s mostly not your fault,” said Virgil.

Roman nodded, and Thomas looked around. “So- uh- the others asked me to see what was up. What should I tell them?”

“Well, it’s not like it’s a secret or anything,” said Roman.

“It’s not?” Thomas asked.

“Logan saw my outfit yesterday. We’ve been avoiding them. They offended us. It should be pretty obvious we're upset,” Virgil responded.

“They don’t have any idea what’s going on with you two, actually,” said Thomas. “They’re worried.”

“Well, that’s not really any of their business,” said Virgil.

“It’s nice to talk to you, Thomas, but I’m kind of done with this conversation,” said Roman.

Thomas left, more confused than ever. The others tried to talk to him, but he didn’t say much. He was still processing. After a few questions, it became clear that the Sides weren’t going to get satisfactory answers yet, and they backed off.

Back in the umbra commons, Virgil said to Roman, “That conversation upset you a bit, didn’t it?”

“Yeah,” said Roman.

“I’m sorry about that,” said Virgil.

“It’s alright... I just- They don’t even know what they did wrong!” He sighed, “They should know they hurt us.”

“Yeah, they should,” said Virgil, “and it sucks that they don’t. I don’t really want to do anything to them, though.”

“I don’t know how you ever dealt with us when we were being this big of idiots,” Roman said, thinking back. Back then even Thomas didn’t understand Virgil.

Virgil smiled faintly. “Passive-aggressiveness and rude poems, mostly.”

Roman laughed slightly. “I was right! You totally write angsty sonnets.”

Virgil smirked. “Are you trying to tell me that you’ve never written angsty sonnets?”

“That’s a secret!” Roman answered, smiling. “Bet yours were angstier though.”

“Oh, yeah, you could never top them,” said Virgil.

“I’m sure.” He laughed, sighing softly afterwords.

“Something wrong?” Virgil asked.

“Just thinking,” he replied. “We make a good team, Virgil.”

“Yeah... yeah, we do.” Virgil grinned. “Even if all we do is watch Disney and have sleepovers.”

“We’ll start doing more stuff soon,” said Roman. “We’re adjusting right now.”

“Yeah, I guess we are,” said Virgil.

“Plus, if Thomas told the others, they know we’re umbra now,” said Roman.

“Oh, you’re right,” said Virgil. “That’s progress.”

Roman nodded, moving to sit on the floor, and Virgil sat on the coffee table nearby.

“We should...” Roman started, looking around the room. “We should make this place our own. We have the fairy lights and the softer carpet, but we should change it up some. To show it’s ours.”

“Yeah, we should,” agreed Virgil. “Where do we start? Purple and red?”

“That’s a good place to start. The pillows on the couch maybe? Oh! And Nightmare Before Christmas posters!”

“Now you’ve got my attention, General. Nightmare Before Christmas posters.” He laughed slightly.

“Disney posters in general,” said Roman. “Oh! And, you like spiderwebs, yeah?”

“Yeah,” said Virgil, eager to know where this is going.

“We can put fairy lights in spiderwebs!”

Virgil gasped. “Yes.”

Roman clapped his hands together, thinking.  “What else?”

Virgil considered. “Any and all mirrors have those mirror lights like you see in the movies.”

“Corkboard! With photos and sketches and daily reminders!”

“Ohhh! And in the kitchen we should have plastic cups and stuff. I always worry I’m gonna break the glass ones."

The two Sides threw ideas back and forth, excitement building, their voices rising. Every change to their commons was thrilling. Every word held both of them captivated. When they finally stepped back to admire their work, Virgil couldn't help his awed expression. He’d never really been able to summon or create things as well as the others. But it looked so... perfect.

He grinned over at Roman. “This. Is. Amazing.”

Roman smiled. “And it’s ours. Just yours and mine, with no one to tell us to change it. It’s perfect.”

Virgil smiled, looking around before sighing in content. “Well, General, I think we make the perfect team.”

“I’d say I agree, Noia,” said Roman.

“You know... I've been thinking. The others... they don’t deserve our names anymore. I gave my name because I trusted them. I don’t trust them anymore.” He looks at Roman, “Whether they deserve your name is up to you.”

“No... no, they don’t,” said Roman. “They chose to replace us with that reptilian rapscallion, that was their decision. They got one name, now they lose two.”

Virgil nodded with finality. If they wanted to be taken seriously, they’d have to show how serious they were.

“So it’s decided. Do we go tell them?” Roman asked. “Or do we just stop them next time they try using our names?”

“We’ll just stop them from using our names. I don’t tend to actively reach out to people who hurt me and the ones I care for,” Virgil replied.

“Yeah... yeah, that’s fair,” Roman said. “I’m... it feels weird, to be avoiding them and pushing them away. It feels weird to feel like this towards them.”

“Look, Ro," Virgil said softly, “if you don’t wanna do this, that’s alright. But we shouldn’t have to hide our feelings from them. We shouldn’t- We don’t have to forgive them just because they think we’re supposed to.”

“No, I do! I want to do this!” said Roman. “They wronged us, and I’m mad at them for it, and I don’t want to go back. It’s just... were you friends with the Dark Sides, before you left them?”

Virgil froze at that, glancing away. He hesitated a moment, biting his lip and choosing his words carefully. Finally he nodded and mumbled, “Something like that, yeah...”

“And then they betrayed you, or made you really angry, or made you feel unwelcome, or did something horrible, and so you felt like you couldn’t stay with them anymore. Did it feel a little bit wrong to leave the people who had always been your friends, even though you had a good reason and you really did want to do it? Did it feel discordant to hate them, in the beginning?”

Virgil sighed softly. He had left for many reasons, all of which he'd rather keep to himself, but it was true that he had left on bad terms with the others. He nodded. “Yes. It feels wrong to hate someone after lo- caring for them for so long.”

“That’s how I’m feeling right now,” said Roman. He paused. “...But at least I’ve got you.”

Virgil nodded. Being alone was scary. Back when he’d first left, neither the lights or darks had been very happy with him, and he'd had to go through everything... alone. He made a silent vow that Roman wouldn't have to do the same.

He inhaled. “I don't really do affection, but... do you want a hug?”

Roman smiled at him and nodded, hugging Virgil. Virgil hugged back, the protective instinct that came with being anxiety in full force.  Roman found that it was very different from the hugs when he had been comforting Virgil. This was secure and reassuring, and he wondered if Virgil had shapeshifted a little, because he seemed bigger somehow. Something about it gave Roman the impression of Virgil being scary in the way that a mama bear defending her cub is, except Roman was the cub. It felt fiercely loving.

Virgil’s protective instincts were practically smothering him. It was his job to protect Thomas and all of his Sides. Protecting his best friend, the General? That was high up on that list. And so he didn’t let go for quite a while. Not until Roman said, “Thank you, Virgil. I feel so much better. You’ve never hugged me like that before.”

Virgil gave a little smile as he took a step back. “Yeah, well,” he gestures to himself, “Protector, right?”

Roman smiled back. “Oh yeah. I definitely feel protected. I'm really glad you’re with me.”

“And I’m glad you’re on my side. Your fiery passion is exactly what we need.” Virgil grinned. He knew they’d both go to the ends of the earth to help the other and that two were harder to ignore than one.

As for ignoring, Logan and Patton decided they’d probably waited long enough, and they went to talk to Thomas again.

 “Thomas?” said Logan. “Would you mind telling us more now about the new commons, aside from ‘there’s no threat to the mindscape’?”

“Yeah... uh, Logan, how many Light Sides are there?” Thomas asked, wondering what kind of reaction he was about to get.

Logan stared at him, confused. “Including Janus, five.”

Thomas shifted slightly. “Um... not- Not anymore. Virgil and Roman are... uh- Umbra sides.”

The two Sides just blinked at him. “But... Umbra Sides aren’t a thing,” said Patton.

Thomas winced. “Yeah... they are now.”

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Hello, hello!! I just want to say that I love, love, love this au so much!! I'm kinda getting into writing, and it's fun! But I was wondering, since there are two of you, what your writing process was like? Do you each write a chapter or...? -Fanon

Hey, Fanon!! Fun fact, we discussed this a while ago! Yeah, mainly we scream about each others ideas and sparkles. To answer your question, we both write the scenes together, over messages! Like, Ann will write a little and then I’ll write a little. Then we copy paste into a draft and start the very long editing process. It was super great to hear from you again!! We love you Fanon!!

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Hi Nugget and Ann! I love your au! It's such an interesting take on everything, AND it's got angst!! I also love the friendship between Roman and Virgil. Keep up the great work you two! I was also wondering if there were going to be any ships in this? Love you guys!! -Fanon

Hi, Fanon! First of all, we’re so freaking excited to get an ask, you have no idea, it’s amazing. And the content of the ask! Thank you so much, you’re so nice! Second, we basically just immediately panicked when you asked if there were ships, lol. We have no idea yet (not even just about ships, we have pretty much no clue where we’re going with this fic), so I guess we’ll see. Oh, and we love your name!

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Chapter Two: I Held You Close As You Shook

Logan’s day started perfectly normally. Nothing was at all unusual until he walked downstairs to the mindscape commons. There, he was startled by the sight of a Side who he was pretty sure was Virgil, but he was dressed oddly. He cleared his throat, and Virgil turned around. If Logan had been holding anything, he would have dropped it when he caught sight of Virgil’s eyeshadow. It was deeper, darker, and more... sharp than ever before.

Significantly concerned now, Logan asked, “Is there a, um, reason for your outfit change? Are you... okay?”

"Am I okay? Am I okay? Am I OKAY?" Virgil laughed a horrible, distorted, mirthless laugh. "Simply put, no."

Logan flinched back at the Tempest Tongue, the chilling laugh was.... unsettling. Terrifying even. It was highly upsetting, and he opened his mouth to speak. He found himself speechless instead. 

Virgil, on the other hand, walked away before Logan had time to question it or him, just chuckling to himself like it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard. He retreated into his room and once he was there, safely out of sight, he immediately started crying.

A few minutes passed before Virgil heard a knock at the door. “Virgil? It’s Roman.”

Wiping his nose on his sleeve, Virgil said, “Come in.”

Roman opened the door and his jaw dropped at the sight of Virgil. He rushed over and hugged him tightly. “Virgil, Virgil, Virgil,” he said. He pulled back to gently wipe away a few tears trailing down Virgil’s face. Virgil’s eyeshadow streaked with them, and they were quickly replaced by more. He hugged Virgil again. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I was downstairs,” said Virgil, “and Logan saw me.”

“And then what?” Roman asked.

"He asked if I was," Virgil laughed again, sobs breaking through this time, "okay."

“Oh, Virgil." Roman pulled Virgil closer to him. "So I don't need to stab anyone, then?"

This startled a real laugh out of the crying Side. "You wouldn't actually stab someone, would you?"

Roman huffed, "Do you doubt me Virgil?"

Virgil smirked at Roman through his tears. "Uh, yeah, I kinda do."

"Rest assured," said Roman, "if someone ever did something truly awful to one of us-- which I thought they had, you don't cry often-- I wouldn't hesitate to stab them. The wound would be imaginary anyway."

Virgil smiled slightly at that, leaning close to Roman. "Good to know the General's fighting on my side.”

"Always, Paranoia. We've got each other's backs, even if no one else does." Roman didn’t mind that Virgil’s eyeshadow was getting his outfit. It was black now, so it didn’t matter anyway.

Virgil nodded. "This, this is what we are now." He pressed his face into Roman's shoulder. His words came out muffled as he said, "That would sound better if I could stop crying like a pathetic idiot."

Roman let out a small chuckle at that, "You're not pathetic. It's just... really overwhelming, huh? And you're anxi-- paranoia, so that's making it worse." He held Virgil a little closer, "It's all right, Virgil."

"I'm really not okay," Virgil said.

"Do you promise?" Roman asked.

Virgil laughed a little. "Yeah... I think I just need to wait a while for my tear ducts to get bored."

"I'll hold you until you're done crying," Roman promised.

Virgil paused for a moment. "God, I bet my eyeshadow is a MESS right now."

Roman laughed at that, "Doesn't matter, mine looks better anyhow."

"Mine looks cooler," Virgil said.

"Yours looks emo," said Roman.

“Yeah, what did you think the point of wearing it was?”

"Mm, fair point." Roman tapped his fingers for a second. "You think the others are completely and totally lost without us?" 

"Of course they are," Virgil said.

They both smiled. It was a nice lie. They knew that the liar-with-a-capital-L himself had replaced them both, but they could tell themselves he hadn't. If there was one thing Janus couldn't take away, it was each other. They both knew by now neither of them would ever consider leaving the other behind for something better.

They fell into a silence as they sat there, simply absorbing each other's company and body heat. Finally, Virgil lifted his head. His eyes were red, but his tears had stopped. "You know, I think I scared Logan," he said.

"Oh well." Roman snapped his fingers, getting some makeup wipes. "He should've known you wouldn't have been okay. They shouldn’t have assumed you’d be a-okay with Janus. And Logan shouldn’t have assumed leaving you alone for a day would make it fine." Roman couldn’t believe he was the only one to reach out to Virgil, to help him. Hadn't they all agreed, in Accepting Anxiety, that they would all be more understanding of Virgil? But Roman was the only one actually making good on that promise now.

Virgil reached for the wipes, but Roman said, "No, let me. Your hands are shaking a bit."

"Oh," said Virgil. "I didn't notice."

"Just breathe," said Roman. "You can take over when you've completely calmed down." Virgil allowed this, going through his breathing techniques. Roman wiped off Virgil's ruined makeup and watched him carefully. He had a question on his mind. He took a breath, "Why don't your shadows affect you anymore?”

“...I think I've impressed them," said Virgil. "Like they didn't think I'd be brave enough to switch sides twice, and now they're not sure how much power I have."

Roman thought about that for a while. "I think you're the bravest side I've ever met."

Virgil smiled at that, laughing softly. “I don't know about that. I barely managed to leave my room and risk facing everyone else this morning, and I only stayed out there for a few minutes. Besides, you're much braver than I am."

"Virgil, you are so much braver than you think. You have all of these worries and doubts and you don't let them get in the way of protecting the people you love. You switched sides twice-- even though you didn't want to!-- to protect Thomas." He looked at Virgil, "You are so much braver than you think."

Virgil ducked his head. "Yeah, yeah, okay." He summoned some black eyeshadow and began applying it.

"Don't you need a mirror?" asked Roman. 

"No," said Virgil. "I mean, I'll check it when I'm done, but I can do it pretty well by feel. My mirror and I don't exactly have a good history, so I've had a lot of practice without it."

"Your... mirror and you?" he asked. "You know, what, nevermind. I think I get it." He looked over at the mirror in the room. It hadn't insulted him but that was to be expected, he supposed.

"Yeah... it's gotten quieter, though," said Virgil. "Like the shadows. It feels a bit weird not to have them whispering in the background so constantly anymore. I've had to use my headphones to replace them instead of blocking them out."

"Huh." Roman thought about that. "Well, I'm proud of you Virgil! Plus your eyeshadow is on point!" 

"Thanks," said Virgil. "I'm slightly less of a mess now."

Roman looked his friend up and down. "A mess" was a pretty accurate description. "Disney marathon?" he suggested, and Virgil rolled his eyes.

"So, are we ever going to do something as the Umbra Sides or just watch Disney and have sleepovers?" 

"Hey!" Roman countered, "Just because we're not light doesn't mean we don't practice self-care! If a Disney marathon and sleepover is what we need, than that's what we get.”

"They don't even know we're Umbra Sides now yet, though," said Virgil. 

"I know," said Roman. "But we can tell them later. You don't really want to go talk to them right now."

 Virgil sighed. "No, I don't. Disney it is.” 

"Knew that one would win!" Roman said, summoning a box full of Disney movies. "It always does."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "You know, we need our own hangout that is not my room."

"Yeah, we really do," said Roman. "But the lights will be in the commons. I guess we could go to my room if you want?"

"Yeah, all right." Virgil liked Roman's room. The carpet was soft, the Disney posters were welcoming. The only downside was the bright lights, but if they were watching a movie that wouldn't matter. The two Sides sank out to Roman's room. Virgil sat down on the floor and Roman started playing The Black Cauldron. Virgil was surprised that Roman had remembered. 

Roman snapped his fingers, dimming the lights and sitting next to Virgil. "Here's your spooky movie, emo nightmare."

"Thanks," said Virgil. He leaned against Roman.

 "What, you still want more cuddles?" said Roman. 

"Sorry, it's fine," Virgil said, pulling away. 

"No, no, I was joking. Come back." Roman wrapped an arm around Virgil.  

Virgil glanced at him, ready to give a snappy remark, but the movie started and all thoughts were replaced by it. He leaned against Roman, and the Umbra sides were okay in that moment, forgetting everything except the show in front of them.

Downstairs, outside of the two Sides’ little world of Disney and each other, Logan asked, "Patton, have you seen Virgil or Roman around?"

Pat looked up from his baking, thinking, "No... Have you not seen them?" 

"Not since earlier when I asked Virgil if he was okay." 

"Was he?" 

Logan hesitated, recalling the frightening, distorted laughter. "No, Patton. I don't think he was."

[wherelightanddarkmerge]

Chapter One: Dim The Lights

Virgil blinked, shocked at what Thomas had done, at what he was letting Janus do. "But- but I already protect you..?" he said, hoping he had somehow misunderstood, that they weren’t really calling Janus “Self-Preservation” now.

Thomas began, "Well yeah but-"

Nope. Not a misunderstanding, then. "But he does it better. I get it." And then Virgil sank out.

Logan, Patton and Thomas all shouted "NO!", but they were too late.

The room went silent. Patton whispered, "Quack?" in concern.

Thomas said, "We have to go after him."

Janus said, "Maybe not me."

Logan said they should let him cool down first.

Roman only appeared in the video briefly, but he showed up when Virgil wasn't there. When he mentioned the Anxious side, the others looked away and muttered something about Virgil needing to calm down. Roman gritted his teeth; all he could think about was how the new 'hero' was just letting Virgil suffer. After only a few minutes, he left in anger and went to paint Virgil’s nails.

Virgil quietly told him, "They don't want me anymore."

Roman said, "They don't want me either, but I'm not gonna leave just for them. I, for one, am staying, and they can't do anything about it.”

Virgil stared at the nail polish on his hands. "If it's Dark Sides they want..." He took a deep breath, his eye-shadow blackening, "It's Dark Sides they'll get."

Roman quickly interjected. "No! No, that's not what I meant! We need to show them that we're still the good guys."

Virgil looked up and asked with a hitch in his voice, "Did they ever really think I was a good guy?"

"I did." Roman whispered, unsure if that was enough. It wasn't.

"You'd be the first. Even I know I'm the bad guy, Roman. If Janus can be accepted, and Remus can be... tolerated, but I can't, what does that mean? They never trusted me." 

Roman searched his memory desperately for something to reassure Virgil with. "What about that whole Hogwarts houses thing? That was specifically to help you feel more part of the group."

"That was to make me shut up about the hair," Virgil contradicted.

Maybe it was due to Virgil’s room, or maybe because Virgil was speaking with such rare sureness, or maybe deep down Roman believed it too, but it became harder to not believe Virgil's words. "Surely, you can't- can't believe that, Virgil."

"How many times do I have to tell you Roman?" He stared away, dejected, "Villains get two things. The best song," Virgil's theme started playing softly, Roman's own theme mixed in subtly, "And the worst backstories." He stared off again, "The only way to get them to listen is to be scary.. Even afterwards ‘accepting’ me, that's how it is. Remember Patton's room?"

"What about it?" Roman asked. "A lot happened. We made a bunch of Guys and Dolls references, we talked about Thomas's ex, you helped us figure out why Thomas was having trouble moving on--"

"And I had to scream at Thomas  before anyone noticed I was panicking and Logan decided to," He waved a hand wildly, "Just, leave!"

"Oh," said Roman. "That-- that was pretty bad..."

At perhaps the worst possible moment, Patton knocked on the door. "Hey, kiddo? I know you're upset right now. Do you want to talk?"

Virgil’s eye-shadow turned the darkest of pitch black, the color growing to surround his eyes. He tried to talk, his tempest tongue breaking through, "Not right-" He took a deep breath, "Not right now Pat.."

"O-okay," said Patton, caught off guard by Virgil's voice, though he knew he shouldn't be. "I'll leave you alone. Let me know if you change your mind."

Virgil collapsed back on his bed, taking deep gasping breaths. "I'm telling you Ro, you have to be the bad guy-" His voice went back again and he faltered slightly, "You have to be, if you want anyone to listen."

“But haven't we been specifically working on not listening to the bad guys?" asked Roman. He was grasping at straws at this point, looking for a way to prove that Virgil wasn't right, that he could still be the hero, and Virgil could still be the dark and stormy knight.

"If they aren't listening to bad guys, Janus wouldn't be out there right now! Remus would still be unknown to Thomas!" He glanced over at Roman, "Sounds like it's me and you getting ignored."

"Is... is it really the only way?" Roman asked mournfully.

"I hate it as much as you do," said Virgil. "I wouldn't be saying it if there was another option. We have to do this."

Roman stared at the ground for a few seconds, and when he looked up, there were tears in his eyes as he said, "All right, Virgil. I'm with you."

Virgil took a deep breath, unsure for a moment if he could go back. Back to being hated and everyone insulting him and not understanding that he's trying to help. When he opened his eyes, he was back in his old hoodie, but it was different now. There was deep purple running down the seams, like a sick reminder of who he could have been. His eye shadow was darker than ever, and it looked like cracks running down his face, highlighted by startling bright purple. When he spoke, it was still the slow, hesitant voice as always, but his tempest tongue was more... prominent. "Roman... meet.. ah- You probably remember Paranoia." 

"And what do I do?" Roman asked.

"I think..." Virgil paused. "We don't want you looking like Remus or the King. You should probably be gold, shiny, but dark too. So..." Virgil motioned towards Roman, and now he was in a black uniform with twisting, curling gold thread spreading from the place directly over his heart, extending up to his neck and halfway across and down his chest. A gold sheath hanging from a black sword belt was at his hip. There were hints of red everywhere-- shadowing the golden curls, lurking at the seams. "What do you say to abandoning the pretty boy prince and replacing him with the General?"

Roman looked over his outfit in Virgil's- or, Paranoia's mirror, which wasn't doing its usual chants of pointing out insecurities. It was silent, Virgil had shut it up with a wave of his hand. Roman glanced at himself in it, and instead of being horrified, he drew himself up. They had to listen to someone like this, "I'd say I agree. But it needs one more thing.. To show we're on the same side." Eye shadow appeared on his eyes, not under like Virgil's, but on and above, like normal. It was a dark, deep, red, and Virgil grinned.

"You know, Roman, we're not quite 'Dark Sides', are we?" he said.

"No, we aren't," Roman agreed. "We want nothing to do with Remus and Janus. We're something new."

"We're Umbra Sides." Virgil said this with an odd finality in his voice. "We're Umbra."

"Umbra," Roman whispered, grinning. "I like that. It means shadows and stuff right?" Virgil's room shifted to accommodate to the changes. It was mostly the same, but the shelf where he kept keepsakes from the others was hidden, only Roman's gifts- sweaters and Disney posters, allowed now. It seemed darker now too, and the shadows that usually tormented Virgil seemed... frightened of him. Like he was their merciless ruler. Or perhaps they weren’t used to him acting so confident. Who knew, they were shadows.

"Exactly," said Virgil. "And-- and we're together now, we've got each other's backs, right?"

"We'll never be alone again, Virgil." He held out a pinky. Yeah, it was childish, but it was pure, something neither of them would dare to ruin. "Pinky Promise."

Virgil smiled and linked his finger with Roman's. "Pinky promise." After a few moments of hesitation, he asked, "Would you stay here with me tonight? You seem to be doing all right in my room now."

"Yes, I noticed that. Any idea why?" He summoned a sleeping bag, as Virgil snapped his fingers. Little fairy lights turned on, blinking different colors. Despite everything, Roman and Virgil were still Roman and Virgil.

"Maybe because last time, I was Dark and you were Light. It clashed. But now we're the same. Does that make sense?"

"We're the same," Roman repeated.

Virgil smiled. He'd never been the same as anyone before. He wasn't like the dark sides. And he wasn't like the light. He waved his hand and soft Disney lullabies played, lights dimming. "Good Night, General Roman."

"Good night, Paranoia," said Roman.

From outside the room where the Umbra Sides lay, Patton cast a regretful glance at Virgil's door, then paused. No, he was sure that he was only imagining it. The door hadn't darkened.