weakenedcrab

[weakenedcrab]

there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’l kill you in real life, kevin”

[weakenedcrab]

i am drinking heavy whipping cream rn and this is a valid dessert

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who up cornin they cob

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like a good neighborhood, state farm is thereborhood

[weakenedcrab]

what’s the best creation myth from the italian peninsula?

romulus and remus?

the mario reforms (made landless plebs materially dependent on military commanders after an intensive fear mongering campaign most contemporary scholars agree exaggerated the “bowser” threat)

or was it when alfred spaghetti took a bite out of his arm and spit out a ball of meat and said “this is my flesh, chewed for you”

[weakenedcrab]

putting aside everything else wrong with this i guarantee every american not in florida avoids it like the plague like any sane person. the promise of florida imperialism even moreso than the third reich imagery is the most harrowing part of this

[weakenedcrab]

moiled for her pleasure

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a white polar bear is something i never would have predicted

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sponkbamd is the first biwave style band

[weakenedcrab]

was just sexting at the gym between sets and went to do my overhead presses

halfway through guy right next to me turns around and sees me full mast while my face is red from exertion as i power through the rest of my reps

instantly noticeable too. it sounds exaggerated but it was genuinely like steve carrel in the opening sequence of 40 yr old virgin

he saw it, his face clouded with shock, and he did not look away once

neither was i anywhere near mortified enough to compromise my set. we both kinda just let it happen over the course of 15 to 20 seconds

he won’t forget what transpired tonight anytime soon but i will

[weakenedcrab]

some of you have never known the cold impersonal touch of a machine and it shows

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yo they got stephen hawking on this track

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impetigo waititi

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if anyone was reading over my shoulder while i investigated this twitter beef between sets at the gym i think i’d literally die

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man i love eatin shit out of a spoon

[weakenedcrab]

please, foghat leghat was my father

call me *~horn