vhoorlpool

[vhoorlpool]

do you dare ask him out... and risk him eating your heart 🫣

[vhoorlpool]

@goldfishmio WTFFFF COME HERE SO WE CAN MAKE OUT????????????

[vhoorlpool]

something something going to the city, getting a fancy hotel, and doing a bar crawl with your best girls for the weekend, except at bar #2 you pick up followers. there's a table of four guys, all broad-shouldered military dudes, who buy you a few drinks, shoot the shit, and generally are a good hang. there's two johns (one of them just goes by 'soap'), kyle, and... the other one. he doesn't offer his name, doesn't really speak, just sits with his arms crossed over his chest next to a bourbon he doesn't touch. if the rest of his friends weren't so damn charming and companionable, there's no way you or any of your girlfriends would go anywhere near him.

when your group is ready to move to the next bar, soap suggests following along, expanding your group and making it a real party. it's a good time, all told. the guys have some fascinating stories, pay for the occasional rounds of drinks, and aren't bad on the eyes, either.

as the night wears on and the tabs rack up, members of your newly-extended group start slinking off into the night together. soap's the first to disappear with your best friend since childhood, and then the other john leaves half an hour later with your cousin. when you come back from the bar with a fresh pitcher of beer, you see the nameless man in the mask sitting alone at your table right as kyle leaves out the front door with two of your friends in tow, one on each arm.

"oh." is all you can think to say as you set the pitcher down. dark eyes impassively stare at you from under a hoodie as you sit down next to him, feeling more than just a little bit embarrassed. you're the odd one out, the fat friend left out in the cold while the rest of the group hooks up with stone-cold hotties. you push the pitcher towards the masked soldier.

"you can have that, i think i'm just gonna go back to the hotel-"

"you'll be locked out of your room for a while, i'm pretty sure that's where your friends are takin' kyle." the man says, nodding towards the door. ah. yeah, he's got a point- the only thing worse than being left at a bar by your friends is being made to sit in a hotel hallway, listening to the sounds of a threesome while you wait for them to finish so you can brush your teeth, take a shower, and call it a night.

"guess we're the leftovers." you joke awkwardly, pouring yourself a glass of beer.

"no." says the masked man, right before he stretches out his arm across the back of your chair. you blink at him, dumbfounded.

"oh, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to imply-" you blurt out, trying to make amends for your thoughtless insult. a single gloved finger is briefly pressed against your lips, cutting you off and shutting you up before he retracts it.

"what i mean is- you aren't a leftover, i called dibs at the first bar. you were reserved." he says, leaning in so close that you're certain if he was unmasked you'd feel his breath on your face. "now you just finish up 'ere, i'll pay the tab, and then we'll go to mine so i can finally find out if you taste as good as you look."

he gets up without another word, and you'd have had no idea your mouth is hanging wide open in shock if not for the way he shuts it for you with another press of his finger and a low, rumbling chuckle before he leaves to pay the bill and fulfill his promises.

[vhoorlpool]

when u just tryna kiss your boyfriend but he’s got a large ol mouth full of sharp teeth and his tongue is BIG N WIGGLY. Worth it

[vhoorlpool]

Fhiehqjshsujs (sounds of me diving deep) (I've been told I make awkward noises when I'm diving so I had to add that)

I just wanted to know what your favorite monster was!!! Or top list lmao, just cuz I'm curious! Have a nice day!!!

THIS MADE ME GIGGLE SO HARD HELP 😭😭 omgggg omg HI CUTIE!!! ٩(^‿^)۶ WAHH!!! GOOD MORNING/AFTERNOON (???)

honestly, if I had to pick just one, I’d have to go with cthulhu. (surprising, right? 🙄) ever since I was little, I always thought it was fascinating how this giant beast originally came from space, and not the ocean, despite how aquatic he looks. not to mention he’s just sexy as fuck… he can haunt my dreams any day—

like… you’re telling me, a giant god older than time itself, in all his glory is so utterly, bewilderingly confusing to the human mind that it makes them manic can pick ME??? CHOOSE ME???? LOVE ME????? HIII SIGN ME UP!!!! 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

all jokes aside though, what about you? (o^^o) if that’s okay to ask.

[vhoorlpool]

Genuinely can't believe I gotta remind y'all but just because I'm pro-kink and pro-ship doesn't mean I'm pro-pedophile.

The abuse of children is a real problem that is perpetrated by members of society up to the highest level of authority and should be treated like the disease that it is.

A fake situation where a man is called "dad" in a kink context by two consenting adults is not.

[vhoorlpool]

YOU GET ME MOOTIE. YOU FUCKING GET ME.

Your father, the King, had been pushing for you to join more diplomatic meetings. You needed the experience, of course, and what better way to get some than to accompany your Royal General to various meetings and discussions?

You dressed your best, of course. A light, silky skirt that barely covered the top of your thighs. Formal upper clothing without sleeves and a bottom cut that exposed your left hip and midriff. Your long flowing blond hair was freshly combed, adorned with a tiny rose sculpted from ruby. You were ready to receive this important dignitary and help lead the talks that would secure further peace between your kingdoms. Though as you had little taste for the initial boring pleasantries that go around every single staff member and noble at the very beginning, you were encouraged to wait a bit before entering the room. As your presence is announced by the door guard, you eye the General and make your way towards him, who was conversing with who you assume was the foreign dignitary… holy shit, he’s attractive? You can hear the general introduce you to him, the Formal Diplomat of the Western Kingdom, but his fanciful words sorta get lost on you as your eyes eat up his features.

God, his rippling muscles, his beautiful coat of fur, he was just… handsome. The neighboring kingdom could have scarcely found someone more attractive. You close in and gently touch his biceps and chest, gazing up at him in awe and lust. Oh god, he towered over you even more in person. Holy fuck. “Are all the wolves in the West as handsome as you?” you coo, biting your lip. You bring your knee up his thigh to subtly gauge his size by feel… oh, god, hes packing. He smirks at your comment, and he flexes for you, letting you feel just how ripped he was under all that fur. Oh my… You wanted him to devour you.

"Ahem, my lord, I know you wish to extend formalities in full,” your general interrupted, “but we have some serious business we need to discuss.” In the corner of your eye, you could spy the general adopting a stone face you’ve become all-too-familiar with when he gets irritated. Maybe he should get laid sometime, too. You’ve offered him some pussy in the past, you knew girls who would love a chance to bed a powerful warrior like himself. But he always droned something about duty and professionalism. What a bore.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all,” the diplomat replied, enthusiasm dripping in his deep voice. You start murmuring an apology but he cuts you off by tipping your chin up, gazing deep into your eyes with a roaring hunger. You salivate at his gaze, silently begging for his undivided attention. Please please please fuck me.

“I’m sure we could discuss this policy while paying my respects to His Highness.” His powerful hands grip your hips, swinging you around to face the war room table, and sets you firmly against it. You squeal in excitement, thighs trembling, as you spread your legs apart for him. God, you loved diplomacy. “Eager, are you?” he chuckles, pulling up your skirt to cup your cheeks and play with them, as the head of his cock slowly pushes against your quivering hole. You glance back at him with, happy groans escaping your lips as you beg for more. “Mmm… please…”

“Yes, please enjoy our hospitality.” His curt unfun words slice through the air, but its getting dulled by the electrifying current of pleasure sweeping through your clouded mind. “Now, you carry a proposal from the West?”

The diplomat doesn’t even skip a beat in his speech as he rhythmatically pounds into your bussy, his words getting huffy and labored as he struggles to keep his volume above your pathetic moaning with each plap. Your slender hands struggle to hold onto the table, your flowing locks knocking over some wood pieces representing some distant army. It was all distant, really. You couldn’t really hear the conversation anymore, you couldn’t focus on any part of the map on the table, you couldn’t even put two thoughts together about this whole affair. All you could do is let him slam into your hole and moan like a good boy. Let your drool pool out onto the map, let him raise you high enough your feet don’t reach the ground anymore and you’re solely leaning forward and pound you harder. Let your little cock throb and cum between your belly and the table, then just leak again and again as the waves of pleasure overwhelm you. Let him push as deep inside you as he wants and fill you up with his own cum, before pushing you further forward and letting you lay there, legs dangling off the edge with cum dripping out. You were in Euphoria.

“...And what does the prince think of this action?”

Wait… what? How long were you laying there basking in the afterglow? When did the werewolf quit fucking you? How long were they talking? There’s no way they finished their talks and were ready for royal approval. Was he really that good? Fuuuck…. You’d agree to anything just to feel him fuck your brains out again. Maybe you’ll invite him to your chambers immediately after this.

"Uh… yeah…” came your words, slurred and disjointed, as you struggled to lean your head up to gaze at the circled group of men in the room. “Sounds… good…. Someone gimme a… pen…”

One of your knights picked you up with ease, and set your toes down on the floor so you could prop yourself with your hands. You couldn’t bear to sit, anyway, not after what undignified things that foreign dignitary did to your ass… mmm, fuck… where is he? Somewhere behind you? Niice… You poke out your ass absent-mindedly and wiggle it at him teasingly.

“Your highness? The signature.” The curt words of your general snap you out of it, and realize the document had been sitting in front of you for some time. Everyone was watching you expectantly. The general in particular had that impatient look of mild disdain whenever he asked you for your permission. You got the feeling he didn’t like you much.

“Oh… sorry…” With a few strokes of your pen handed to you, the document is signed with the sloppy handwriting of a boy who still was suffering from a good dicking. Not your best handiwork, but it’s a document, not a work of art. You barely finish the last stroke before document and pen are snatched away, and the general shoots a hurried final greeting to the dignitary before exiting the room with his staff.

You can feel the weight of the dignitary press against your back, his hands reach forward on top of yours, and his muzzle presses against your ear. “You made an excellent decision this day,” he whispers, and his tongue suddenly drags up your earlobe to the pointy end. “I was hoping perhaps we could discuss more… private matters in your chambers? For the good of our kingdoms, of course.”

As you were being bridal carried by him all the back back to your bed, you kept thinking about just how much you were making your father proud. Just wait till he hears how important you were to governing favorable terms with the Western Kingdom. Or how well you're cultivating new relationships with them.

[vhoorlpool]

Tags: NSFW, alien x reader, alien boyfriends, fem reader, established relationship, double penetration, ovulation, laying eggs, mentions of labor and delivery

Word count: 877

~*~*~

Imagine having two alien boyfriends who can’t resist you. They love ravishing your holes every chance they get. Thankfully, you have two of them so they don’t have to fight over one, although you wouldn’t be entirely opposed to that.

They always open you up so carefully so they don’t hurt you, their long, nimble fingers exploring your insides as easily and with as much curiosity as they explore the farthest reaches of the galaxy.

One of them sits down on the comfy couch in your quarters, his aching cock emerging from his genital slit with an obscenely wet sound, glistening with mucus. It makes it so easy for you to slide down onto him. You approach him, your hole having been thoroughly stretched out on the bed, turn with your back to him, and sit on his cock, gasping at how far this position forces him inside you. How far your tight little hole stretches around him.

You sit there for a moment while your body adjusts, luxuriating in feeling him so deep inside your guts. He runs his soft yet textured hands all over your back and hips. Worshiping you.

Your other alien boyfriend watches from the foot of the bed, playing with his own genital slit to coax his cock out. It doesn’t take much, as desperate as he is for you. He crosses the room in two long, smooth strides and pushes your legs apart, kneeling on the floor between them. No matter how many times they’ve seen you naked, they always marvel over your anatomy. Your delicate, pink folds; your sensitive clit, your two holes that they think are absolutely beautiful, the way you get so wet for them at the slightest touch.

He doesn’t push inside you right way, but instead circles your clit with his fingers, the texture of them sending shivers through your body. It makes you clench around the cock in your ass. The one whose lap you’re sitting in nuzzles into the side of your neck and holds your legs apart while the other one continues exploring you.

He slips two fingers inside you, tracing the outline of the other’s cock through your wall. That right there almost makes you come. You love the way they coo over you, their sweet little human, always making sure you feel good, making sure each of your holes receives the amount of attention it deserves.

You’re right on the cusp of begging for it when the one kneeling between your legs finally pushes inside you. A cry rips its way out of you as you’re filled to the brim with dripping wet alien cock. They immediately start fucking you, one of them pulling back while the other surges forward in perfectly coordinated movements. You’re so glad the walls of the ship are soundproof, otherwise every single one of your crewmates would be able to hear you screaming, crying, begging them to fuck you harder.

It doesn’t take long before you’re trembling between them, completely at their mercy, but knowing that you’re completely safe with them. They would never dream of harming their precious human.

You come long and hard, arching your back and clenching so hard around their cocks, you think you might pass out. Maybe you did pass out there for just a moment because the next thing you know, the one in front of you is stroking your face while the other one draws soothing circles on the backs of your thighs with his fingertips. You become dimly aware of something latching on inside you, your cervix being dilated, and a moment later, he begins depositing eggs inside your womb. He is ovulating, so he gets to fuck your pussy. Those are the rules.

You sigh and relax and let them take care of you. They let you know what a good job you’re doing receiving his eggs, what a good vessel you will be for them. You preen under the attention. You’ve done this enough times that it doesn’t even hurt anymore as egg after egg pops inside you. By the time he is finished, your belly curves outward slightly. He’s laid a big clutch inside you this time. He kisses you on the forehead as he seals up your cervix so none of his eggs escape.

Laying eggs always takes a lot out of him, so he stretches out on the bed while the other one eases his cock out of your ass and carries you to the bathroom, where he draws you a nice, hot bath. He gently cleans between your legs with a washcloth; their mucus can really make a mess sometimes, but you stopped caring a long time ago.

You run your hand over your slightly protruding belly while he tends to you, thinking about the labor and delivery you will go through in a few months. The eggs have to be delivered under water; their shells will crack if they are exposed to air too suddenly. The medical wing has several tubs for this specific purpose, but if no complications arise, you plan on delivering them right here in your own quarters, where you’re the most comfortable, and your two alien boyfriends will be there for you every step of the way.

[vhoorlpool]

once more why am i a pussy when it comes to messaging moots

[vhoorlpool]

Doing some butterfly taxidermy type shit to fairies. Pinning, mounting, etc

[vhoorlpool]

need to fuck an old (sentient, or at least consent giving) computer so bad. need to reach deep inside them and stroke their wiring, flick at their glass vacuum tubes and pinch their electron guns. go so slow and be so attentive to each high pitched beep and drawn out whirr that it makes their circuits grow hot and their fans kick on. need to run my tongue along their cords so languidly, suck on it so harshly they bluescreen and I’m left to just stand and laugh at them as they kick back on, screen warm with embarrassment and arousal <3

[vhoorlpool]

I am so desperate to be railed by a dude so much bigger than me. I need to see my pathetic little tdick next to someone’s massive cock. I want someones huge fingers to destroy my insides. And then and then and thennnn they hold both my wrists in one hand, pound me til i cry, call me a good boy and fill me with cum :3

[vhoorlpool]

do it anyway and if they have problems whip out your giant longsword you forged

how do I get into blacksmithing without making my neighbors want to murder me

[vhoorlpool]

ok well i'm gonna go jerk off now *starts getting lowered by chain pulley into an ominous glowing red pit*

[vhoorlpool]

cod fan base is wild. one minute i'll be masturbating to price x reader smut, the next i'll be sobbing to a ghost fanfic, then i'll come across a piece of ghost x soap fan art

[vhoorlpool]

not sure if you’re into stuff this filthy— but oh my GOODDD soap being a kinky bastard!!! WE LOVE HIM IN THIS HOUSE

then we’ve got price and Holy Fuck The Praise Is So Good

more nasty stuff :drool emoji: but könig + scent kink?? YUMMERS (tw for noncon themes)

Can someone pls provide me with the FILTHIEST cod smut pls pls pls

[vhoorlpool]

Your father, the King, had been pushing for you to join more diplomatic meetings. You needed the experience, of course, and what better way to get some than to accompany your Royal General to various meetings and discussions?

You dressed your best, of course. A light, silky skirt that barely covered the top of your thighs. Formal upper clothing without sleeves and a bottom cut that exposed your left hip and midriff. Your long flowing blond hair was freshly combed, adorned with a tiny rose sculpted from ruby. You were ready to receive this important dignitary and help lead the talks that would secure further peace between your kingdoms. Though as you had little taste for the initial boring pleasantries that go around every single staff member and noble at the very beginning, you were encouraged to wait a bit before entering the room. As your presence is announced by the door guard, you eye the General and make your way towards him, who was conversing with who you assume was the foreign dignitary… holy shit, he’s attractive? You can hear the general introduce you to him, the Formal Diplomat of the Western Kingdom, but his fanciful words sorta get lost on you as your eyes eat up his features.

God, his rippling muscles, his beautiful coat of fur, he was just… handsome. The neighboring kingdom could have scarcely found someone more attractive. You close in and gently touch his biceps and chest, gazing up at him in awe and lust. Oh god, he towered over you even more in person. Holy fuck. “Are all the wolves in the West as handsome as you?” you coo, biting your lip. You bring your knee up his thigh to subtly gauge his size by feel… oh, god, hes packing. He smirks at your comment, and he flexes for you, letting you feel just how ripped he was under all that fur. Oh my… You wanted him to devour you.

"Ahem, my lord, I know you wish to extend formalities in full,” your general interrupted, “but we have some serious business we need to discuss.” In the corner of your eye, you could spy the general adopting a stone face you’ve become all-too-familiar with when he gets irritated. Maybe he should get laid sometime, too. You’ve offered him some pussy in the past, you knew girls who would love a chance to bed a powerful warrior like himself. But he always droned something about duty and professionalism. What a bore.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all,” the diplomat replied, enthusiasm dripping in his deep voice. You start murmuring an apology but he cuts you off by tipping your chin up, gazing deep into your eyes with a roaring hunger. You salivate at his gaze, silently begging for his undivided attention. Please please please fuck me.

“I’m sure we could discuss this policy while paying my respects to His Highness.” His powerful hands grip your hips, swinging you around to face the war room table, and sets you firmly against it. You squeal in excitement, thighs trembling, as you spread your legs apart for him. God, you loved diplomacy. “Eager, are you?” he chuckles, pulling up your skirt to cup your cheeks and play with them, as the head of his cock slowly pushes against your quivering hole. You glance back at him with, happy groans escaping your lips as you beg for more. “Mmm… please…”

“Yes, please enjoy our hospitality.” His curt unfun words slice through the air, but its getting dulled by the electrifying current of pleasure sweeping through your clouded mind. “Now, you carry a proposal from the West?”

The diplomat doesn’t even skip a beat in his speech as he rhythmatically pounds into your bussy, his words getting huffy and labored as he struggles to keep his volume above your pathetic moaning with each plap. Your slender hands struggle to hold onto the table, your flowing locks knocking over some wood pieces representing some distant army. It was all distant, really. You couldn’t really hear the conversation anymore, you couldn’t focus on any part of the map on the table, you couldn’t even put two thoughts together about this whole affair. All you could do is let him slam into your hole and moan like a good boy. Let your drool pool out onto the map, let him raise you high enough your feet don’t reach the ground anymore and you’re solely leaning forward and pound you harder. Let your little cock throb and cum between your belly and the table, then just leak again and again as the waves of pleasure overwhelm you. Let him push as deep inside you as he wants and fill you up with his own cum, before pushing you further forward and letting you lay there, legs dangling off the edge with cum dripping out. You were in Euphoria.

“...And what does the prince think of this action?”

Wait… what? How long were you laying there basking in the afterglow? When did the werewolf quit fucking you? How long were they talking? There’s no way they finished their talks and were ready for royal approval. Was he really that good? Fuuuck…. You’d agree to anything just to feel him fuck your brains out again. Maybe you’ll invite him to your chambers immediately after this.

"Uh… yeah…” came your words, slurred and disjointed, as you struggled to lean your head up to gaze at the circled group of men in the room. “Sounds… good…. Someone gimme a… pen…”

One of your knights picked you up with ease, and set your toes down on the floor so you could prop yourself with your hands. You couldn’t bear to sit, anyway, not after what undignified things that foreign dignitary did to your ass… mmm, fuck… where is he? Somewhere behind you? Niice… You poke out your ass absent-mindedly and wiggle it at him teasingly.

“Your highness? The signature.” The curt words of your general snap you out of it, and realize the document had been sitting in front of you for some time. Everyone was watching you expectantly. The general in particular had that impatient look of mild disdain whenever he asked you for your permission. You got the feeling he didn’t like you much.

“Oh… sorry…” With a few strokes of your pen handed to you, the document is signed with the sloppy handwriting of a boy who still was suffering from a good dicking. Not your best handiwork, but it’s a document, not a work of art. You barely finish the last stroke before document and pen are snatched away, and the general shoots a hurried final greeting to the dignitary before exiting the room with his staff.

You can feel the weight of the dignitary press against your back, his hands reach forward on top of yours, and his muzzle presses against your ear. “You made an excellent decision this day,” he whispers, and his tongue suddenly drags up your earlobe to the pointy end. “I was hoping perhaps we could discuss more… private matters in your chambers? For the good of our kingdoms, of course.”

As you were being bridal carried by him all the back back to your bed, you kept thinking about just how much you were making your father proud. Just wait till he hears how important you were to governing favorable terms with the Western Kingdom. Or how well you're cultivating new relationships with them.