#my day has positively sucked. this is exactly what I needed
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ramonathinks · 6 months ago
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just a tiny reposted drabble lol
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kento nanami is your dad’s boss … you meet him at a important dinner once that your dad forces you to come along to and he always holds a dark look in his eyes whenever he talk to you, he talks to you about the company, briefly says how pretty you are before he sips on his drink and licks his lips, you try to avoid him but for some reason he keeps trying to talk to you even though it’s clear you can’t hold a conversation with this man. so when your dad sprains his back and needs you to fill in for him, for a month max, he swears, you do it, never really realizing how much time the two spend with each other. you know little to nothing about the position or even what is it that these men do.
all you know is that you’re the only girl there… wearing a tight knee length skirt wasn’t the brightest of plans but it was hot outside and you just came to get some papers, sign them and fax a few of them. you’d be gone in less than two hours. you weren’t expecting Nanami to come into your dad’s office with yet another stack of papers, grumbling how important they were, about how he needed this done by the end of the day.
“did you work my dad like this? no wonder he sprained his back! i know he has desk work and has to go into the field with you and i don’t appreciate this!” you give him a piece of your mind and you know you shouldn’t, he’s your boss… at least for now, but more importantly he’s your dad’s boss, he could lose his job. but your mouth was moving faster than your brain. you can’t believe how selfish this man is.
“you never worked a day in your life huh?” he rolls his eyes. “i can tell that a cute little thing like yourself never so much a lifted your finger, you think he sprained his back because of me? what about that new bedroom set you pleaded with him to build you?” and that stops you dead in your tracks as you narrow your eyes at the man.
suddenly more annoyed than you ever been. “listen here! you don’t know me. you don’t know what i do! my daddy’s not expendable, this job is his life.” your eyes feel moist and your lips are quivering, he cups your face.
and you don’t know exactly how it happens but then…
he’s sinking in deep inside of you and he’s finally just like “well maybe i should give your dad a raise—fuck, maybe a bonus too…” you’re squeezing him so tight and he says: “he is a good worker, the fucking best. fuck… you’re so—fuck. you’re so damn tight…! pretty little thing like you milking my cock like you own it.”
“if i offered you a position,” his hips moving quick as he ruts deeper inside of you. “a permanent position…would you take it? work for me. Daddy’s not getting any younger babydoll. I’ll make sure he works one last good year and then you can return his favor. Just keep sucking me in just like that and I’ll just pay him all out, right now.”
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fettuccin-e · 1 year ago
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Man in the Mirror
Kinktober Day 19: Voyeurism
Tags: Marc Spector x Reader x Steven Grant, afab!fem!reader, consensual voyeurism, unprotected piv (pls wrap it in real life omg), dirty talk, slight degradation, Steven watches Marc fuck you through a mirror idk what to tell you (w/c: 1K)
A/N: Back with the boys because I love them and I cannot help myself okay!!! And this is consensual, even though Steven doesn't exactly know it at the beginning, he just thinks he's being a perv. But in my fics, everyone is a perv alright! (this month I have been using these prompts from flightlessangelwings!)
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Steven knows it’s wrong, God, it’s fucking wrong, but it’s like he can’t stop himself.
There’s something about the way Marc fucks you, the way you scrabble at the bedsheets when the shoves you into a lewd arch, his hand pressing into your back. The way you moan for it, heaving breaths into your lungs. It’s the way Marc talks to you through it, talking to you like you’re the filthy one, like you’re the one who’s desperate for it, even though Steven knows it’s both of you.
“God damn, baby,” Marc snarls, fucking into you hard enough that tears are starting to leak down your cheeks. “You’re fucking sucking me in, sweetheart. Feels good, huh? Getting fucked like you need?”
“Yes, fuck, yes,” you gasp through the moans he forces out of your mouth with every thrust. “It’s so fucking good, Marc, you’re so fucking deep.”
Steven should stop, right now. Go hide in the headspace, go to sleep and let you both have some privacy. Fuck, he's as naked as Marc is right now, he should feel exposed, have some god damn decency. But it’s like he’s stuck in place, staring in through the mirror as Marc rips you apart in ways he’s never dreamed to. It’s fucking addicting to watch the way your eyes roll back, the way your ass smacks back against Marc every time he shoves himself in, in, in. He reaches down to his bare cock and squeezes, unable to help it.
You’d only put this mirror up a week ago, and he hadn't even thought about the positioning of it. It’s placed on the wall right across from the foot of your bed, and fuck, he can see everything. He hadn’t noticed, hadn’t thought about this view when he had helped you set it straight, Marc coming into view in the reflection and smirking at Steven like he knew something he didn’t. Steven had brushed it off.
He shouldn’t have fucking brushed it off.
Because he’s sure, almost fucking positive, that Marc had somehow known. He’d known that Steven would watch, just like this, how Marc takes care of their girl. How he destroys you in ways that Steven can’t even think up on his own. It’s a special kind of torture, seeing you like this and not feeling it, not feeling you.
Marc’s thrusts are brutal, violent like the man himself. He treats you with so much care normally, Steven has seen it, but this isn’t gentle in the least. And you love it, crying out and drooling onto your sheets as Marc rips you to pieces, pulling you back onto his cock with thick fingers digging hard into your hips. He’s not sure how long he’s been watching intently, unable to tear his gaze away, when he sees Marc’s head snap up.
Looking right fucking at him.
Steven should go, disappear from the consciousness entirely, but it’s like he’s glued to the spot, his gaze locked with Marc’s. Marc’s thrusts don’t stutter, don’t stop, and you’re blissfully unaware as Marc watches Steven watch you.
Until Marc grins like the bastard he is, and leans down to mutter, just loud enough for Steven to hear, “Guess who’s here, gorgeous?”
“Wh-what?” you gasp through Marc’s unrelenting thrusts.
“He’s watching, baby,” Marc smiles, glancing up at Steven. “Just like you wanted.”
You wanted- you wanted? Steven’s breath catches in his throat, he’s pretty sure his heart stops fucking beating. 
“Steven,” you moan like it’s been punched out of you. “Steven’s here.”
“He’s watchin’ in that mirror you put up, sweetheart,” Marc says, “Watching me fuck you.” Steven is flushed beet-red, he knows it, but still, he watches. “Look at him, baby,” Marc growls, “Fucking look at him.”
Marc reaches up and curls a fist into your hair, tugging your head up to look straight into the mirror, straight at Steven. And God, you’re beautiful, tears falling down your face, your lips plump from the way you’ve been biting at them. You can’t see him, Steven knows that, but you look anyway, like you really can.
“She wanted this,” Marc snarls, and you clench your eyes shut, like you want to hide from Steven’s gaze. “She put that mirror up, hoping you’d watch like this. Wanted me to watch you both too, Steven.” You whine, and Marc’s thrusts seem to get even harder. “Our baby’s a little slut, just wants someone to watch her get fucked, isn’t that right, honey?”
“Your-” you gasp, staring into the mirror, like you’re talking to Steven, too. “Your slut, fuck, just yours.”
Marc fucking growls, his hips driving his cock into you. Steven can hear the way your pussy squishes around him, so wet you’re dripping down onto the sheets beneath you. Your body is covered in sweat, glinting in the light, practically glowing.
“Gonna let him fuck you after this, baby?” Marc grits, “Fucking whore for this cock, can’t get enough.” You slur a stream of yesyesyesyes as Marc reaches beneath you to start rubbing furiously at your clit, and you tremble beneath him.
“C’mon, gorgeous, cum for me.” Marc glances up at Steven. “Cum for both of us.”
Your eyes go wide, your mouth gaping open around a silent scream as you gush down Marc’s cock, body shaking as Marc fucks you through it, letting out a strangled groan of his own. Steven is hard as a fucking rock, straining against his stomach, begging for your touch. He watches as Marc thrusts deep and stills, his eyelids fluttering as he pumps you full of his cum.
You slump into the sheets, and Marc slides out of you, leaning down to kiss down your spine, muttering little praises of “such a good girl,” and “took it so well, looked so pretty,” into your skin. You roll onto your back, tugging Marc down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Marc smiles against your mouth, and Steven feels that familiar pull to the front.
He shuts his eyes, and when he blinks them open again, you’re smiling up at him, reaching up to brush a reverent hand across his jaw.
“Enjoyed the show?” you whisper, and Steven can’t help the way he grins, the way his heart flutters.
“More than you know, darling,” he mutters, and leans to lick into your mouth. “Got to give Marc a show now, yeah?”
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mochiepie · 5 months ago
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Tits TyPa Man you ask? - sukuna
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He is the epitome of "tits are the greatest invention, creation, whateva 'tion' just, tits are life" there's not a single day he is leaving without.. touching your tits, flicking your nipples or pinching them, squeezing them, biting them, or digging his long nails into your nipples and the flesh of your tits.
🍈 " you keep talking and giggling, and those milk monsters go boom boom on me brat!" yeah, that's the king of curses right there talking, like a toddler. Like wtf is boom boom?
🍈 when you weren't sukuna's gf or even wife, like the very first time you met him, girl. He wasn't even looking at your face. His eyes, were stuck on your.. titties. His face told that, he was wondering how your breasts looked like under your tshirt
🍈 he thought himself to be into ass, as with the amount of concubines he had slept with in the past. And that's when he totally went wrong when you walked towards him.. well not exactly towards him you walked past him when he saw you for the first time ever. His eyes got stuck on those magnificent 'boom boom' of yours. For the first time he doubted himself.. " i was.. into ass right? ....right? "
🍈 it's so normal now, his hands resting on your chest, not even in a sexual way.. just, laying on em, yeah it's his property, you just lucky enough to have tits attached to your body but it's .. his. He is the owner. You wanna take a bath? Sure, he'll be the one to wash, massage your breasts. He'll be the one to put the lotion on your titties, help you wear a bra and any dress. Why? Cuz you (your boobs) belong to him you stupid.
🍈 when you guys had sex for the first time, when he saw your glory, for the first time, your tits for the first time.. his 4 eyes snapped. He paused.. like *sukuna.exe stopped working* his four giant palms immediately kneading your tits simultaneously, like his movements were soo sloppy, inexperienced despite sleeping around with so many concubines, that is because no woman has ever tempted him the way you did. And yes, you changed him, you changed the king of curses completely. You made the ass guy turn into tits guy. "Fuck, these tits are gonna make my silk black sheets turn into white" and then, automatically he got the breeding kink, the thought of you getting pregnant?
🍈 sukuna threw your birth control and began to fuck you like a bitch in heat. Why? Cuz your tits would have milk. Simple. That's all what you lacked. What's the purpose.. of these gorgeous tits when it can't produce milk.. right? So he is being generous enough and planting his seeds in each round, making sure you womb is swollen. Your milk ain't belonging to his future child.. nah, it's his. His alone. Mf is jealous of his own child.
🍈 his favourite position? Missionary or you riding him. Why? TITS. he'll need your tits to stay motivated and keep fucking you. The bounce? The jiggle? The sounds? The perky nipples? Those areolas? The squishiness? Oh YEA
🍈 sukuna would always roll his tongue around your areolas, while his second mouth would be biting, digging those sharp canines in your other breast, he once bit your nipple so harsh, that made u bleed.
🍈 despite sukuna never caring for anyone, he cares immensely for you. He instantly began to give up, trying his best to remove this addiction to your tits. He loves you so why is he acting like some perv only blinded by your tits? Well, his will didn't even lashed 2 days and here again he is sucking your tits on the kitchen counter, your apron and tshirt thrown somewhere.
🍈 "you're the only woman who is... Making me get on my knees" sukuna isn't a man to show vulnerability.. but if showing his vulnerable nature makes you stay with him. Oh yes, he is ready to become a sub. He is too into you, drowned basically, and now he can't resist anymore.
🍈 while he sleeps, he'll unconsciously end up getting between your arms.. his face squished and pressed on your tits.. ocassionally licking and sucking your nipples and tits. Oh yes, you sleep naked. That's your relationship rule.. you can't sleep wearing something. You must sleep naked. He'll wake up, between your arms, pressed against your tits, and again begin his session of sucking titties. Yeah, that's his ritual. You can't stop him.
🍈 he is in some meeting? His subjects are busy talking? Yeah let em talk! He has your sitting on his lap while he is sitting on his lap. His 1 hands resting on your tits. Yeah, and if any of his subjects looks at you? Instantly "cleave" attack. Also, he likes to demonstrate his powers and show you how... You belong to him and if.. anyone even looks at you the way he does.. he gets pissed, super pissed. Like not even any enemy or opponent can piss him off more then if he catches any men or even women being tooo into you or your beauty. Just, not possible. You're only his. His alone. You can't even count on how many lives he has taken for you. Both men and women, he had killed just because they stared at u for longer then necessary, or tried to approach you. Also, you don't even know that he had killed anyone for you cuz.. how can he let his precious wifey know about his wrong doing.. right? He only shows his upper layer or a coating of his powers.. just to keep you under him. He can't think of traumatising you by showing his real doings. You're too precious.. also your tits.
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foresthyena · 14 days ago
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Sevika headcannons bc I need her
Sfw:
She doesn't exactly say she she loves you. But she shows you, she finds acts of service better. She'd cook for you, wash the dishes and sometimes does the laundry when she isn't held up with Silco.
Like with the cooking thing, she's a god at it. Just amazing yummy food, when you wake up for breakfast there's always warm fresh(as fresh as it can get in Zaun) food with a little sticky note of her saying to not leave a mess.
Being Sulcos right hand, she's always busy, injured and arriving late. But she always makes it up by bring you fresh *your favorite fruit* from Piltover that she took.
She's very protective, she's also afraid of you getting hurt! She tries to keep her work and love life separate. She wouldn't know what to do if someone decided to harm you.
Even tho she's big and scary, she loves to lay her head on your thighs while listening to the radio. It soothes her after a hard day, she'd get really grumpy if you don't play with her hair.
Speaking of being grumpy, she just has a resting bitch face. She tries to relax her face but it's no use. Tho it comes in handy when people try to flirt with you. One glare from her and they all run.
She's worse in the morning, she isn't a morning person or ever was. It just means waking up early and dealing with work and Jinx.
Nsfw:
Ugh she loves to manhandle you. She counts it as a workout and get frustrated when she notices she can't left you up as easily and works out even more.
Speaking of manhandling, it's all she'll do in bed. She loves to move you around and force you into different positions for her pleasure.
BITING. Oh she loves being bit and biting you back. It secretly helps her cum faster, not that she'll ever tell you.
This woman would mix praise and degration, it just messes with your head so easily.
"fuck, that's a good whore"
"yeah look at that slutty hole"
"my good slutty bitch"
She's slightly insecure of her mechanical hand, but you love the rough cold feeling of it, it just boosts her ego so much more!!
Her cold robotic arm slapping your ass, she just gives a sick twisted smile when you yell out.
Oh she loves to eat. And I mean EAT, she'd stay between her legs forever if she could. She also speaks to it as if it's a person and she'll receive a response.
"such a good tight hole"
"just swallows my fingers/cock up"
She'll also spit all over you and stares for awhile taking a mental note, she loves how ruined you look.
69...oh she loves that too, she'll have you suck on her fat large clit while she fingers you. She enjoys the feeling and seeing you struggle to please her, it's just so adorable.
Sevika would never tell anyone that she's a switch. Because wdym this scary muscular woman likes to be slutted out?
She's a bigger whiner and moaner, she gets so wet and desperate so fast. Her cunt just soaking and her bush covered in slick and saliva from your cruel teasing.
Oh she loves being praised much more then degraded.
Her large nipples are also so sensitive, she'll sometimes show her insecurities with it. But that doesn't matter, just suck,lick and pull them then she'll forget what she was crying about.
This woman can last so many rounds, she has a high stamina, expecally if she's bottoming. It's insane, she just gets so needy to cum even more!!
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truelovepolinator · 3 days ago
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Nicola and Luke are ABSOLUTELY TOGETHER and have been all along and here’s how I know
(Friends, I’ve just finished this and it is INSANELY LONG. Like, two looong book chapters long. But I PROMISE it’s worth it. I was gonna cut it into multiple parts to make it more readable, but I’m going to be super busy over the next few days, so I wouldn’t have a chance to post subsequent parts until probably Christmas, so I’ve decided to drop it all now so I don’t delay the final victorious conclusion. Sorry, it’s so long, but I don’t really have time to rethink it and try to tell the story in a more concise way. Again, I think you’ll be glad you stuck with it if you want to feel as thoroughly confident as I am that Nic and Luke are absolutely together.)
(Also, I have to run now, but I'll come back to add relevant photos/videos as time allows. But I'm sure you're all familiar with them anyway.)
So I want to start by saying something I’m sure I’ll repeat. This is, of course, just my opinion and supposition based on the evidence available to me. But I also want to say, I am absolutely, positively sure now in a way I have never been. Genuinely not a doubt in my mind, and I think you’ll agree by the end of this.
It’s also worth noting that this may be nothing new to some of you. I’ve only been on this platform for a week and have barely scratched the surface of the great content here. So this is how *I* came to the final, joyful conclusion that everything is right with the world where lukola is concerned. I had long been sure they belonged together, but was afraid to embrace the theories about them actually being together now for fear of heartbreak, plus all the confusing signals about A & J, etc.
But all that changed a couple nights ago when I finally got the last piece of the puzzle I needed to see the big picture. There were just too many things that didn’t make sense, until they did! I literally couldn’t sleep that night (seriously only got about 2 hours) and then spent next day telling my husband the story for hours (in 20-30 minute increments as he could spare them during his slow, Christmas time work day).
My husband has been a patient, long-suffering skeptic through all of this. He’s put up with my rants and constant videos I just had to share, but he’s been completely convinced from day one that they simply leaned into their friendship to turn on faux relationship vibes for PR. He was absolutely sure it was all just make-believe for the fans. No matter what I showed him, he could not be convinced.
Until yesterday. Yes, I convinced the toughest skeptic in town.
I think it’s important to start with my journey into the Lukola fandom for context. I was a casual Bridgerton watcher until this season, and had never read the books. I liked season 1, I loved season 2, and I was looking forward to watching season 3.
I had planned to wait to watch the first 4 until the second half was about to launch (so I wouldn’t have to wait for more), but I realized after about a week that we needed to watch it immediately before everything was completely spoiled by timeline gifs and clips.
Needless to say, I was beyond hooked. Instantly. Season 3 was another level for all the reasons you all know. Finally I could engage safely with the fandom, but the process from occasional Polin/Lukola content to nonstop immersion took some time. So even following the second half, there was a TON of footage I hadn’t seen.
All of this to say, I basically missed all of the World Tour stuff as it was happening, and it took well into the summer to finally see so many amazing clips and edits that I was absolutely fucking sucked into the lukola wormhole. However, I was well behind many of you on the curve, and even to this day, I’m still catching up on things.
But by late summer, I was all in. I was sailing high on USS Lukola (or I suppose that should be the HMS Lukola!) because I saw exactly what you all saw. This was clearly real, their feelings were indisputable, and everything about their behavior and much of what they said was so far beyond PR, even “faking couplehood” PR.
They were real. Even if he had this dumb girlfriend. (I say that only in the good-natured, abstract sense that I wanted him with Nic, not in a personal “actually about her” sense. In fact, I’ve never said anything hateful about either A or J and I hope I never will.)
WHY AREN’T THEY TOGETHER???
I couldn’t resist the mystery.
It drove me absolutely crazy for months trying to understand why they weren’t together. Nothing made sense, but I mentally explored literally every possibility. They’re afraid of ruining their friendship? They’re afraid of disrupting the production if it goes wrong? These possibilities at least made some kind of sense and seemed to be the only explanations I could find. But in my mind, they weren’t good enough reasons to resist what these two so obviously had. Still, I’m not them, so that was easy for me to say. I had nothing to risk in this.
One or both of them is/are secretly gay? Soulmate besties instead of soulmate lovers? I didn’t think this was the case and nothing made me believe this. Yet, I was attempting to allow for every possibility. Still, with Nicola being the super vocal “gay icon” that she is, it was hard to imagine she wouldn’t live out and proud if that was the case. And apparently she lived with an unknown man for two years. Though she does always keep her private (romantic) life super private, so I suppose who knows? And, of course, Luke had two very public past relationships with women, but again, who knows, I suppose? This option doesn’t ring true at all, but it does exist in the universe of possible explanations for this inexplicable situation.
They love each other in a soulmate way, but somehow one of them just isn’t “attracted” to the other? Certainly, if the stories about Antonia were true, that might suggest that Luke might be attracted to an entirely different physical type than Nicola. But that didn’t ring true either because LOOK AT THEM TOGETHER! He can’t take his eyes off of her, let alone his hands. And the same for her. They are magnetized to each other. If that’s not attraction, what is?
One of them has baggage and isn’t ready for a real, serious relationship? This one seemed possible. People can have hang-ups or wounds for all sorts of reasons, and letting someone in – especially someone who might actually be your soulmate – can be terrifying. Self-protection by avoiding relationships and/or distracting yourself with less meaningful relationships is a natural way of coping with baggage. Yes, maybe this one? Neither of them seems obviously wounded, but what would I know? Most people don’t wear their wounds on their sleeves, least of all during a PR tour. Still, the energy flow between them seemed anything but wounded. It seemed like the healthiest, happiest thing in the world.
People kept saying, they’re blind and they don’t see it yet. But I don’t believe anyone can be that blind. Especially after watching all the countless edits and clips of their tour, which we know they did because Nicola is chronically online and sharing with Luke the best of it all (and sneaky Luke is likely lurking also).
So at the end of the day, I had no good explanation. It just kept not making sense.
Then those music festival photos of Nic and Jake (I’ll abbreviate sometimes for ease, but I do say their names) showed up. The fandom erupted into chaos with full reactions across the spectrum including a bizarre, almost immediate burst of (not yet named) jakolas, which felt like a disproportionate response to a few photos.
Admittedly, those photos did look quite friendly, and touchy, and yes, they stood arm-in-arm. But lots of friends stand like that at concerts. And Nic is known to be touchy-feely, so let’s not go overboard, I thought. However, I did acknowledge (in my head, I didn’t weigh in online at all) that it suggested that it COULD be romantic. I opted not to freak out, because either way, Nic’s love life is her own and I want her to be happy.
And it’s worth saying here that both of their private lives are none of my business, none of any of our business, and even writing this is completely at odds with that truth. I acknowledge that. But what I told myself, and actually meant it, was that I was going to stay out of it unless and until NicLuke got together. That was the only place I would invest my energy since they’ve both said they think it’s sweet that fans ship them. If they dated others, good luck to them. Be happy. But when the time comes…
Yes, friends, the time has come!!! But back to my story.
Note that (because again, I was still catching up), I hadn’t yet seen the swimming in Sorrento photos and had missed that piece of the puzzle at that point. Throughout this time, I’d see people refer to things on Twitter like everyone already knew what they were talking about, but hardly anyone ever took the time to explain. So I got lots of glimmers of things that others felt were notable, without actually knowing any details. Those pictures were an example. Another was the Claddagh ring.
I’m very grateful to some amazing deep dive blog entries by @threeacttragedy that explained the ring, “Bless the Telephone,” and other meaty, important history that I’d previously only heard mentioned in passing. In fact, one of her blogs is what first brought me here by referral from Twitter. And if you don’t follow her, you should!
In the past week, as I started reading blogs that broke down past dates and clues, I finally started looking them up one by one and trying to put the pieces together in my head. I’d seen the swimming photos by then, but I revisited them. I dug in to try to understand the references to a “New Year kiss” from the night the friend group (Rory, etc.) posted photos together from a Soho House party. I reviewed Hot Boy Summer, I rewatched the incredibly emotional video of Luke meeting Nicola’s mom, I looked at photos of the Claddagh ring and went to Chupi’s website. I learned about the LA photos from April, both Antonia’s version and the InStyle Polaroids. I reviewed all the photos of Luke and Antonia that I could find. And I reviewed all the photos and videos of Nic and Jake that I could find. Also, I listened to “Bless the Telephone” about one hundred times. Lol.
Regarding Luke and Antonia, I had the same response in this deep dive I’ve had every time. Weird. I mean, if I didn’t feel so strongly that Luke was in love with Nicola, and if I knew nothing about him except he was some hot actor, could I see him dating someone like A? Sure. But the fact that there are almost no pictures of them posing together, alone like a couple, is weird. Even if it’s super casual and she was just his date to some stuff. The fact that Luke looks grumpy in both sets of pap photos (premiere night and swimming in Sorrento), but A is smiling happily in at least one of the premiere night photos is weird. The fact that after the Sorrento pap photos, Luke seems to leave his friend group to come home early, and then stops liking any of his best friend Rory’s photos from there on, weird.
The fact that in the fall, she posts pictures harkening back to a place and time they were apparently together, but without any actual photos together, weird. And the continual drip, drip of Likes from Luke is weird. And then when a photo of Luke in a restaurant in Rome is posted by the restaurant, she immediately follows with a video story of someone making pasta in the same restaurant, weird.
Perhaps weirdest of all, the fact that she pre-posted the LA pictures, and then he gave other versions of the same shots to InStyle. Especially the switching seats thing. If my husband and I were taking pics of each other at a café, I’d take his picture in front of the traffic, and he’d take my picture in front of the restaurant, because that’s where we’d be sitting. Across from each other. So why switch seats to take the photos? It’s not like that street with traffic was such a fantastic backdrop that we’d each need our turn with that shot? And they’re the same, with the same table number, but different. Sure, traffic moves, but weird coincidence that they each had a white truck, but a DIFFERENT white truck. So, like I said, weird. Always implying they were together, but never actually saying/showing it. Weird.
I read all sorts of theories from pragmatic (we just have to accept that they’re dating) to hateful (they’re not together/never were, but she’s obsessed and keeps inserting herself in a pathetic, desperate plea for attention and followers) to seemingly far-fetched (some sort of NDA that means for some reason Luke is obligated to Like her photos). Only the first of these seemed plausible. I maybe didn’t like it (not maybe, I didn’t like it at all), but I thought, “Yes, I guess we just have to accept that they’re probably together until they tell us otherwise.”
(Though I held out a small sliver of “but we don’t know anything for sure until L and/or N tell us themselves” hope, which remains true even as I write this.)
Now, let’s talk about Nic and Jake. First, there were those shots from the concert (discussed above). Then, I believe, were the NYC shots (if I’m not confusing the order). In the NYC shots, they were both there, but they weren’t especially intimate in any interpersonal sense. Then, the pap shots on the street posted on DM, ostensibly catching them walking home together, holding hands and arm-in-arm after a night at the pub. With those photos came an onslaught of fandom fury and gossip site reporting about how “Nicola Coughlan confirms her relationship…” Same story runs across a bunch of trashy sites, all saying the same thing and citing an unnamed source talking about how besotted they were, or whatever the quote was.
Admittedly, I was among the furious fans. Not because of what the pictures showed. Again, I was trying to be serene and Zen about them and their private lives. I believed with all my heart that NicLuke belonged together, but if now wasn’t their time, I’d have to wait. I didn’t love that I’d heard he was only 24, but I was trying to balance my efforts to be a non-judgmental person with my discomfort over that issue and reminding myself that her choices are none of my business (unless she chooses Luke!).
So I did my best to refrain from judgment, even as I saw the fandom erupt into toxic madness about whether it was true, whether he was gay, whether the age gap was wrong, whether DM lied about the date, and if they did (which they did), why? But I figured, unless the photos were very, very old, things weren’t likely to have changed in their relationship over a couple weeks, so I wasn’t overly concerned about the date.
However, I was angry about all these stories (basically the same story across the board) announcing that she’d “CONFIRMED” the relationship. It made me very angry that they said she confirmed something when she’d done nothing of the sort. I wasn’t prepared to argue that she wasn’t dating Jake at that point, but why would they all run this story, with this headline, when what actually happened was a paparazzi photographer snapped shots and sold them, then the media drew conclusions from what they saw.
Nicola never confirmed a damn thing. So why were they running this headline so universally?
I was also angry that the photos existed at all. Photos in her neighborhood could reveal her location and put her safety at risk. Also, how did they happen to be there to take those photos late one specific night? Felt like they must have received a tip. But I moved on and forgot about that part.
Time went on and I saw more and more discussion of Jake’s sexuality. I don’t really want to get into that here because I don’t really feel comfortable speculating about anyone unless they choose to explicitly come out, but I did finally start poking around his page, Douglas’s page, etc. and began to understand why people were saying what they were saying. However, I reminded myself that bi/pan-sexuality exists and I wasn’t willing to partake in bi-erasure, so I held my tongue and kept watching.
Now, at this point, I want to remind us all that Nic has always been extremely private and uttered nary a peep in public about her romantic/sexual life. And fair enough. It’s none of our damn business. Also, she’s talked extensively about how women are not just men’s girlfriends and her feminist take on many things and how it doesn’t feel nice to know that people are more interested in her love life than her work. She’s worked freaking hard to achieve the success she’s now enjoying, and she certainly should not be reduced to a woman in a relationship. No matter who is on the other end of that relationship.
(Again here, I feel the need to acknowledge my hypocrisy in writing this, but I really do genuinely love Nic’s work and spirit and activism, etc. as well.)
So, in light of her position on all of that, we wouldn’t expect her to go public with a new love interest. The fact that she was papped with this guy (if indeed he was a love interest) was just an indication of how much her celebrity and profile have grown. There’s greater interest now and she’s more recognizable now, so it’s to be expected that she’d have a harder time keeping her love life private now than in the past. Not so strange then, that she got caught a couple times in paparazzi photos at this point.
However, would she really then go public with that guy? That would mark a radical change in her behavior just when you’d think she’d want to be the most private because the glare of the spotlight is brighter than ever. Still, she allowed a public photo with him, Camilla, and Evan Ross Katz to go out shortly thereafter. If one believed they were dating, that could certainly be interpreted as a launch. Yet, as I said, would she really do that if she were dating him?
Then he started popping up everywhere. I won’t get the chronology here right because I don’t want to research the dates right now, but there was the Charlie xcx concert, in which she appeared with Jake and Dylan, who is out and proud. The Queer premiere where he was just caught in the background of a fan photo. The simultaneously released photos from the red and gold restaurant (with a mysterious third person taking the photos). There was the apparently brunch-time photo of her with Jake and two others, taken by Dylan. And most recently, Louisa’s photo with Jake and Douglas (who is also openly gay and close friends, if not more, with Jake).
I’m not mentioning all the players in all of these because it’s not critical to the story, and I may be forgetting some photos, but there is a point to all of this. First, there’s potentially a notable shift in what she’s allowing to be shared here. Again, historically, she’s never shared anything about her love life. Suddenly, she’s letting him be photographed everywhere. Also, at most of these events, there were other queer participants and/or queer content (the movie premiere).
And while she’s never allowed her romantic life to be shared, you know what she has often shared? Photos with all of her platonic friends, including her huge friend group of many, many gay men. So this trend in what she’s allowing to be shared suggests that she’s telling a story and clarifying Jake’s role in her life.
But then there’s that one mystery release, the simultaneously timed restaurant photo drops. Clearly coordinated, clearly indicating they were there together. No indication about the third party. Why? Just enough to hint that there might be something going on, and to continue wreaking havoc in the fandom.
Because remember that toxic fandom bickering over all of this? The jakolas swearing they’re in love and soon to be engaged and furious at the lukolas for “being blind and refusing to accept the truth and it’s so disrespectful to Nic ('who you claim to love') by disregarding her feelings and treating the love of her life so badly. They keep showing you they’re in love and you won’t listen!” Etc., etc.
Meanwhile, the lukolas fall into a couple camps. By this point, most have decided Nic and Jake aren’t dating, but some remain circumspect. Some scream back at the jakolas, ostensibly in defense of Jake, saying very similar things about “Jake and his friends are doing everything in their power to show you the truth and you refuse to see it.” And a variety of other responses. Everyone’s mad at everyone.
And all of it, every bit of it, keeps us ALL talking about Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton. Nonstop, every day.
Now, we are nearing the big mic drop of all of this, and I want to say at this point that we need to remember that Nic and Luke are HUMAN BEINGS who have a right to privacy. And they are celebrities living in a world that has an intense interest in their love lives. And sometimes, we might not feel good about the measures they must take to protect their privacy. We might hate those measures. We might feel manipulated, and we are. But if we love and respect them as much as I hope we all do, we can also understand and forgive them for taking such measures.
A quick review of important factors in all of this:
THINGS THAT TELL US IT’S REAL
The Galway trip and that very emotional introduction to Nic’s mom, which looked for all the world like a woman meeting her future son-in-law
The Claddagh ring and how she’s been wearing it
The things reporters, cast, and crew have said in passing and/or posted, not to mention recent open shipping from Ryan Wheeler and Shondaland’s IG
Everything we saw with our own eyes on the world tour, not to mention everything we’ve seen in the BTS
Little droplets of NicLuke over the recent months like Bless the Telephone and (not yet mentioned above) the S4 selfie and the photo of them in costume that Nic said she thought she’d shared, but now it’s ours (while she hasn’t posted any Jake)
The absolute consistency of all of this as a story that makes sense
THINGS THAT MAKE US DOUBT IT’S REAL AND/OR KEEP US GUESSING AND DISCUSSING
The premiere night pap photos (and though I didn’t mention it earlier, the fact that Nic went home that night so she wasn’t around for A’s attendance)
The friend group photos at Soho House with Luke, A and others
The weird LA InStyle photos
The Sorrento swimming photos
The multiple sets of pap photos of Nic and Jake, including grainy night-time neighborhood photos (with a woman walking a dog in the background)
The way every gossip news outlet ran the same “Nicola confirmed her relationship” story with the same headline and the same anonymous quote
The weirdly devoted, intensely defensive jakolas/Jake stans that seem to care about nothing but Jake/jakola out of nowhere and love screaming at and stirring up shit with lukolas
The chaos and constant discussion of all of this over the past 6+ months
The absolute inconsistency of any of this with anything in the top group
So, this mystery just gets deeper and deeper, and none of it makes sense. Every time I’d try to accept that they were just seeing these other people, something would bump in my head. There were just too many weird things that didn’t quite make sense and the biggest, weirdest one of them all was that NICOLA AND LUKE ARE CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER.
So while the pieces would always almost fit, the puzzle never quite took shape. Until two nights ago when I stumbled on @lukolafan ’s page after they liked one of my posts. I scrolled down their page and found a link labeled “Lukola PR Strategies and Fake Narratives.” I cannot scream this loudly enough. GO VISIT THAT LINK!!!!! (I’ll add the links myself later if I have time.)
I did and it led to a series of Reddit posts taking an academic approach to teaching us, the general public (and lukola fans) PR Media Literacy. Among the various topics it discussed were things like:
“PR Firms and Entertainment Media: Coordinating “News” Across Gossip, Entertainment, and Official Publications,” which talks about using anonymous sources, more about staged paparazzi, and repeated narratives (“outlets echo identical stories, reinforcing PR-approved messaging, for example, multiple outlets platforms describing a celebrity ‘rising above’ a controversy, quoting the same anonymous insider” – Sound familiar?)
“The Invisible Hand of Celebrity Privacy: How PR Fabricates Narratives and Manipulates Fans,” which includes ways that PR strategies intentionally manipulate fans to fight/debate celebs faking relationships, and more (sound familiar?)
There’s honestly so much meat in all of these (there are a couple others as well) that they are ALL worth reading. There is definitely some repetition, but still, the content is super insightful and revealing and can help us all be more savvy consumers of media.
But I want to focus on two CRITICAL posts, in particular.
“The Role of Staged Paparazzi and Gossip Outlets in Celebrity PR Campaigns”
The first part of this piece talks about the method for staging fake paparazzi photos to create narratives. Two items of particular note (and I’m excerpting directly):
Quality Control of the Image: While professional photographers use high-quality cameras, staged paparazzi photos are intentionally manipulated to appear grainy or blurry. This adds a layer of authenticity to the photo, making it look as though the photographer stumbled upon the celebrity by chance.
Extra Figures in the Background: Another key tactic in staged paparazzi photos involves the use of background extras—people who might be walking with dogs, pushing strollers, or simply in the vicinity.
Think of Nicola’s photos walking home with Jake, a woman walking a dog behind them. Some of them are clear, but some are quite grainy, despite the fact that professional photographers have great equipment and are more than capable of taking a night-time shot.
Another excerpt…
Gossip Outlets: DeuxMoi and the Symbiotic Relationship with PR Firms
With the rise of user-generated content and anonymously submitted tips, gossip websites have become integral to the modern celebrity PR machine. Sites like DeuxMoi thrive on rumors and speculation, providing a platform for fans and anonymous sources to share celebrity gossip. PR teams exploit these platforms to feed their desired narratives without appearing to directly control the flow of information.
How Gossip Sites Like DeuxMoi Work:
Anonymous Tips and Leaks: PR teams often send anonymous tips to gossip outlets, offering details about celebrity activities or sightings. These tips are deliberately vague, leaving room for interpretation and speculation. Once posted on sites like DeuxMoi, the stories tend to snowball as they are shared across social media and republished by larger outlets.
Fueling Speculation: These posts generate��buzz and speculation, keeping celebrities in the public eye without any direct confirmation. Gossip sites become a key player in amplifying the narrative, as fans, influencers, and media outlets continue to discuss and spread the information.
Mutual Benefits: While gossip sites operate independently, there is a mutual benefit to the relationship between them and PR teams. Gossip sites thrive on traffic and engagement, while PR teams can ensure their client’s name stays relevant in the public discourse. By subtly feeding stories, PR teams maintain control over how their celebrity’s narrative unfolds.
The piece goes on to give specific examples like Kendall Jenner and Bad Bunny, Tomdaya, Gigi Hadad and Zayne Malik, etc. then talks about fake fan interactions and how to spot them.
It offers key questions to ask about the photos you see (like what story is it telling and why and who benefits?) and then it gives this example. If your ears aren’t already fully perked, this will do it:
Example: 37-Year-Old Famous Actress and 24-Year-Old Lesser-Known Celebrity
Narrative of Romance or Distraction: In this case, the 37-year-old actress is likely fueling rumors of a relationship with the 24-year-old to either distract from something else in her personal life (like a real romantic partner) or to refresh her public image. The younger celebrity could be hired to play a temporary love interest or interest figure in the media, leading people to speculate whether they are more than just friends.
Creating a Romance or Mystery: The photo of them walking arm-in-arm, laughing, or holding hands might suggest that a romantic connection exists. This could be used to make the actress seem more relatable, desirable, or single, even if there is no romantic involvement behind the scenes.
Diverting Public Focus: If the actress is privately in a relationship with another celebrity or involved in an ongoing controversy, the staged photo with the younger celebrity helps to deflect attention. By inserting a "mystery romance," the public is more interested in who the new partner is, leaving the actress’s real partner or issues to stay out of the spotlight.
PR Stunt to Revitalize Publicity: The actress might not just be looking for romantic gossip but also fresh exposure. A curated paparazzi shot could serve as a PR tool to keep the actress's name in circulation—be it through romantic rumors, new partnerships, or simply new media content to fuel speculation.
Potential Body Double for Real Partner: If the real partner is shying away from the public eye or trying to avoid the media, the younger celebrity might act as a "body double" or decoy. This helps maintain an image of the actress being in a public relationship, while allowing her to keep the real relationship.
Don’t think I need to explain the relevance of this very specific example. There’s a lot more in the post, but I’ll move on for now to the next key post.
“Breadcrumbing and Coordinated Campaigns”
In this piece, they offer first some key breadcrumbing tactics, many of which sound awfully familiar.
Common Types of Breadcrumbs:
Cryptic Social Media Posts: Celebrities post vague messages or abstract references, sparking fan theories. Example: Harry Styles posts cryptic images or quotes, prompting speculation.
Coordinated Social Media Timing: PR teams synchronize posts to create the illusion of a shared narrative. Example: Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss posted similar content at the same time, fueling relationship rumors.
Accidental Social Media Interactions: Liking posts or commenting on ambiguous tweets creates intimacy and speculation. Example: Kendall Jenner engages with fans on social media, fueling rumors.
Seemingly Innocent Photos: Casual photos subtly hint at a larger narrative. Example: Zendaya and Tom Holland posted photos together, teasing their relationship.
Cryptic? Like Bless the Telephone? Or a mysterious left-handed guy holding a phone in the background while Nic gets ready?
Synchronized like Nic and Jake at that restaurant? Or as far as that goes, like Nic and Luke with the S4 selfie?
Accidental social media interactions? I didn’t go into that here, but we’ve seen lots of odd likes and things, lots of Nic interactions, oh, and those RW and SL likes of late.
Seemingly innocent photos. Like very happy looking S4 pics and the “now it’s yours” BTS photo?
Perhaps most of this could be interpreted as just genuine fan interaction and fan service, which I think it is to some extent. It’s a natural part of the business. But it’s also very often done with intention.
But here’s the more important part of this piece. It gives some case studies (Ben and JLo, Shawn and Camila), then it gives two “abstract” examples.
YOU’LL LOVE THIS. Note that the second example changes to an actor and a musician, but don’t let that fool you. Keep reading for some unmistakable specifics.
Breadcrumbing with a Fake PR Girlfriend: Case Study of Celebrity 007
For Celebrity 007, breadcrumbing is used to create a false narrative about a relationship with a PR girlfriend. This helps maintain fan interest while deflecting attention from the celebrity’s true personal life.
How It Works:
First Breadcrumbs: The PR strategy begins with posts from both the celebrity and the PR girlfriend, hinting at a connection without confirming it. Example: Celebrity 007 posts a picture from a Paris restaurant or cafe in LA and the PR girlfriend shares a similar post from the same location but from a different day with different white trucks in the background (double check the Instyle Stunt images!!!)
Expanding the Narrative: Shared travel posts and indirect interactions continue the illusion of a relationship. Example: Matching geo-tags in posts from Rome suggest they were there together.
Indirect Engagement: Likes, comments, and ambiguous interactions increase intrigue without confirming the relationship. Example: The PR girlfriend comments, “Great to be here with you! 💖,” on Celebrity 007's post.
Paparazzi Shots: Carefully timed candid shots further reinforce the illusion of a relationship. Example: Paparazzi photos of Celebrity 007 and the PR girlfriend walking hand-in-hand, fueling speculation.
Note:
Café in LA, same location, different trucks?
Matching tags in Rome?
Likes and ambiguous interactions
Carefully timed (say at a premiere party) candid paparazzi shops w gf walking hand-in-hand
And then there’s the next one. In the interest of length since this is already hella long, I’ve removed some less relevant parts, but I encourage you to read it yourself.
Breadcrumbing to Hide a Real Relationship: Case Study of Celebrity 009
Why Hide the True Relationship?
In celebrity culture, the decision to keep a relationship private—or hidden—can be a strategic move, driven by a mix of personal privacy and professional interests. Some celebrities may choose to share their personal lives openly, but for others, particularly those who value their privacy or wish to control their public image, keeping a relationship private is key. This is especially relevant for two celebrities who are romantically involved but prefer to maintain discretion, despite public curiosity about their relationship.
Whether it’s a high-profile couple like Beyoncé and Jay-Z, or a less conspicuous pairing, the decision to hide the true nature of a romantic relationship often involves balancing personal desires with career strategy. In this scenario, let’s explore why two celebrities might choose to keep their relationship under wraps and the complex PR considerations that lead them to do so.
Media Scrutiny/Escaping Constant Surveillance: Navigating the Spotlight Together (I’ve combined two sections here for length)
When two celebrities become romantically involved, the media will inevitably take notice. The relationship can quickly become the focal point of constant headlines, paparazzi photos, and gossip columns. For celebrities who value their privacy, this level of scrutiny can feel overwhelming, as every public appearance or moment shared can quickly turn into speculation, even if the couple doesn’t wish to attract attention.
Romanticized Expectations: The Pressure of Perfection
Media scrutiny often creates an unrealistic, romanticized version of a celebrity relationship. Fans and the public tend to project their fantasies onto famous couples, imagining them as the perfect, unbreakable pairing. The real complexities of a relationship—differences, compromises, and struggles—often don't fit neatly into the idealized narratives created by the public.
For a couple like Actor A and Musician B, the pressure to live up to these idealized expectations can be exhausting. By choosing to keep their relationship private, they can avoid the constant pressure to fit into a preconceived mold. Hiding the relationship from public view allows them to keep things grounded and avoid being turned into a media spectacle.
Brand Control: Managing the Image of "Singleness" or "Availability"
For many celebrities, their public image is closely tied to their brand, and that brand may depend on their perceived "availability" or their status as desirable, unattached individuals. The way the public perceives a celebrity’s romantic life—whether they are single, dating, or in a long-term relationship—can have a significant impact on their professional success and marketability.
Creating Room for Desire: The Allure of the Single Celebrity
Consider Actor A, a leading man known for portraying romantic heroes on screen. The public’s perception of Actor A as a single, unattainable figure is key to their marketability, both in the media and as a brand. If they were to publicly reveal a relationship with Musician B, it could diminish that aura of unattainability. Similarly, Musician B may want to maintain a flirtatious public persona, which could be undermined if they were publicly involved with someone. By keeping the relationship private, both celebrities retain the allure of being desirable and unattached, feeding into the fantasies of their fans.
Avoiding the "Couple" Brand: Risk of Being Reduced to a Package Deal
When a high-profile couple’s relationship is made public, they may become known less for their individual work and more for their collective identity as a couple. In some cases, the couple's public appearances or shared brand messages may overshadow their individual projects. Think of Beyoncé and Jay-Z, who have an incredibly powerful couple brand that often eclipses their solo endeavors in the media. For celebrities like Actor A and Musician B, the fear of being seen as a "package deal" might drive them to hide their relationship. This allows both to maintain their distinct identities, keeping their projects and brands separate and preventing the public from viewing them solely as a pair.
Respecting Boundaries: The Vulnerability of Celebrity Relationships
Even when two celebrities are involved, the vulnerabilities of a relationship can become the focus of media attention if they go public. Romantic relationships—especially those in the high-pressure world of celebrity—are often fraught with ups and downs. The public might demand to know every detail, fueling rumors of breakups, infidelities, or relationship drama. By keeping their romance under wraps, Actor A and Musician B can avoid becoming the subject of constant gossip and can maintain some semblance of normalcy in their private lives.
Avoiding Disruptive Publicity
Celebrity relationships often attract media scrutiny not only about their romantic lives but also about how their relationship affects their careers. The public and the media often delve into the smallest details, speculating about how the relationship might impact their professional trajectories, previous relationships, or future projects.
Career Disruption: The Challenge of Balancing Love and Work
For celebrities like Musician B, a new relationship can take attention away from their upcoming album release or concert tour. The media’s obsession with their personal life might overshadow the launch of a new professional project. Similarly, if Actor A is in the middle of promoting a film or preparing for a big role, the press could focus more on their relationship than their craft, disrupting the flow of their work.
I won’t bother reviewing the relevance of all of the above. I’m sure you can see it plainly for yourself. The examples are absolutely, positively referencing Nicola and Luke, and the reasons for hiding it are super relevant. Especially boundaries, disruption, pressure to be perfect, and being reduced to a package deal.
Now at this point, it’s worth asking the question, do we trust this source? I don’t actually know who posted this content, so I can’t verify their credentials. Perhaps this is yet another PR person’s tricky efforts to continually confuse us and keep us guessing? That seems unlikely since the entire purpose is to help lift the veil on all the other tricks. If you wanted the other tricks to be effective, you’d hardly be revealing them to your target audiences.
But even setting that very logical assumption aside, the reason I know with every fiber of my being that it’s true is that this is literally the only version of events that makes sense of absolutely everything.
All those mysterious and confusing signals, all those weird photos and changes in behavior, all the inconsistencies between what we all saw with our own eyes (they are IN LOVE) and what we saw subsequently with the adjacents, all the tiny Lukola crumbs keeping us hanging on, and all the fandom bickering, especially from bizarrely rabid jakolas.
Every bit of it makes complete sense if we accept that Nic, Luke, and their PR teams have been using a classic PR handbook to distract us from the very real truth that they are together and in love.
Does it hurt to know we’ve been manipulated? You bet it does! But I quickly accepted that because I was so happy to have the truth verified at last. And because I understand why they would do it.
Relationships are hard enough when lived in private. No relationship, no matter how much people love each other, is without challenge. Even soulmates have issues to navigate. Can you imagine the pressure on them if the whole world was watching?
And their lives have added challenges. Travel and separation. Long work schedules that may often be at odds. Possibly romantic scenes with future co-stars that could stir up uncomfortable feelings. Career ups and downs that may not always synch up. Fans and media watching their every move, dissecting them, judging them, rooting for them, and just putting massive pressure on them. What if they fail? They’re letting down the whole world, not just themselves.
And what about Nic’s longstanding demand for privacy? And her emphasis that no woman is just some dude’s girlfriend. She wants to be known for her own work and achievement and passions, not for who she dates or marries. Even if it is wonderful Luke.
Likewise, Luke is just now achieving a newfound level of success. This is a moment for him to seize and make the most of. Being a hot, sexy, ostensibly single guy is good for his brand right now. Even if we know he loves Nicola, his stans need to be able to fantasize about him, which is easier if his relationship is unconfirmed.
And let’s face it, if they come out as a couple, IT WILL BE LUKOLA all the time. That will be the story. Certainly if they’d come out during the World Tour, every question at every stop would be about them and their personal “friends to lovers story.” It would be irresistible to reporters. Too good a story to ignore. And they’d spend way more time talking about their personal lives than about their work. Does that sound like something either of them would want?
And one last thing. Back to their changes in behavior. Does it make more sense that Nicola, who has always been super private about her love life, would suddenly be willing to be photographed constantly with her new bf Jake? Or that Jake is not her bf and she’s keeping her actual bf (or fiancé or husband) secret?
Meanwhile, Luke, who has always been open about his relationships in the past suddenly decides to tighten up and share absolutely nothing about his private life? Well, that makes complete sense if he’s now in a relationship with a woman who is famously private and shares not one word publicly. Suddenly, literally everything makes sense and is entirely consistent.
So there it is, folks. To me, this is the Holy Grail. There’s not a doubt left in my mind about them. They’re together and everything else – literally everything else – is a decoy and a distraction, and every bit of it comes straight from the PR playbook.
I’d like to maintain a sliver of hope that they’re leaving much of it to their teams and they’re not in on the worst of it, but in any case, I don’t blame them one bit for trying to protect their love. It’s too special to let it be destroyed by public consumption. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Given that I don’t actually know them and haven’t confirmed anything directly, I’ll leave 1.5% room for doubt, and adjust my certainty to 98.5%.
And you may dismiss all of this and draw very different conclusions, which is okay, too. But if I’m being really honest, I’m actually 1,000% sure. And I couldn’t be happier for them.
What do we do now? That’s up to each of us. Personally, I’m going to be blissfully happy for them, not sweat any of the distractions, let them live as quietly as they like, and patiently await the day (whether it’s very soon or far in the future) when they finally go public. I hope you’ll do the same.
And until then, I’m going to keep watching Lukola videos on repeat.
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intromortal · 8 months ago
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hola~ just started following you today, and i really wanna know if you could write a lil smth for sub jungwon being desperate? (you can ignore this if it's too much)
a/n: first ever attampt at dom!reader (sorta kinda), annonie i hope this is good enough <3 tysm for submitting this
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virgin sub!y.jw x f!reader
cw: smut, no plot all filth, oral (f!receiving), overstimulation (m!receiving), no protection, creampie, cum eating... it's a sticky mess again guys im sorreyy
okay, but group project partner virgin!jungwon asking you to teach him how to pleasure someone since he’s sooo inexperienced but wants to impress the girl he’s seeing… except it’s you he ends up wanting aurrrr guys..
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He’s been lapping at your cunt for what feels like hours, and while he said that he has never eaten pussy before, you learn that Yang Jungwon is indeed a very fast learner. 
You almost feel bad truly, the way he’s trying to get himself off so badly, desperately humping the bed under him but still not uttering a single complaint as you roughly guide his movements with your hand in his hair. 
You already came once but he insisted it took too long for his liking, how is he supposed to impress the girl he’s talking to if he can’t get you off quickly? You insisted it was completely normal and even getting you off at all the first time was praise-worthy anyway, but he wouldn’t hear any of it and who were you to deny getting eaten out by one of the finest men you’ve ever met? You simply happen to enjoy the finer things in life.
So that’s how you end up with his fingers shoved knuckle deep in you curling to hit exactly where you need them to, just like you taught him, while his mouth sucks around your clit.
“Fuck, could stay here all day”, he moans, letting your clit out of his mouth with a pop before flattening his tongue against it, switching to kitten licks. You’re actually impressed when you feel your orgasm build up much, much faster than the one before.
You remove your hand from his hair and bring it next to you, gripping the pillow under your head as your other hand sneaks down to your breast and you start rolling one of your nipples between your fingers.
“Jun- fuck, baby I’m so close”, and you might be imagining things but from the way he’s now moaning in your cunt and his hips are stilled, you think he might’ve just come from hearing you say that and the thought alone brings you to your own high. 
Your mind is still hazy as he’s helping you ride it down with his fingers, you look down to find his head resting on your thigh and his eyes glued to yours. 
“Please, please let me put my dick inside you”, his voice breaks as he starts begging with his eyebrows furrowed, “just for a little bit, I’ll do anything, even just the tip”.
His eyes are teary now and you can’t help but coo at his state as you sit down and take his face in your hands, gently wiping the small tears that started spilling.
“Of course I’ll let you baby”, you whisper and place a kiss on his forehead, hands undoing his pants and finding a mess in his underwear. 
And his cock is hard again already.
Just how many times has he come from humping the sheets? 
“Sorry, it was too much to handle”, it’s so endearing how bashful he gets, cheeks reddening as he avoids your surprised eyes. 
His gaze is focused and he’s biting his lip as he positions his member to your entrance with your help, he enters you slowly and closes his eyes shut as little whines start to spill out of him.
Jungwon thinks he might become obsessed with the way you wrap around his already sensitive and overstimulated cock, and as he starts shallowly moving, he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood. He thinks about anything that can help him not cum in you just a few strokes in but you notice right away.
“Just let go baby, it’s alright”, you say after bringing his face close to yours. And he does exactly that, filling you up with a drawn-out moan of your name. He tries to move away but you wrap your legs around his torso, keeping him inside you. 
“Keep moving”, you order and he immediately starts thrusting into you again, little sobs leaving his lips, so compliant for you.
“Fuck fuck fuck, it hurts.” 
“I know baby, but I promise it’s gonna be worth it, wanna stop?”, you gently caress his hair with one of your hands, giving his neck small kisses. He ignores your question, too preoccupied with how overstimulated he is at that moment. You tighten your legs around him again, one foot pushing into the small of his back to keep him still.
“I’m gonna need an answer to my question, angel face.”
“No no no, wanna continue please I’m so close again”, he’s grinding into you as much as he can with the little space he has, and you think it's adorable.  
So you keep him exactly where he is, letting him hump into you desperately.
Soon he’s shooting his cum inside of you again, you loosen the grip your legs have on him and he’s tumbling back right away, cock still twitching as it spurts out whatever’s left on your mound and thighs.
You giggle at him as he flops back on your bed with his eyes closed, a sweaty and sobbing mess.
God, he’s so cute.
You’re surprised when instead of falling asleep right away he’s getting comfortable with his face between your legs again.
“I didn’t make you cum from that”, he replies before you can question him, sensing your surprise.
“You made me cum earlier, it’s okay. Plus, I already taught you how to make a girl cum with your mouth.”
He nuzzles his head on your thigh again, holding your gaze, “yes, now I wanna learn how to make you cum harder”, he whispers as he pushes his tongue into your hole, taking the mix of both of your juices in his mouth.
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leviismybby · 2 years ago
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Different seasons Levi and sex..
No regrets Levi
He is still young and a little inexperienced but exactly because of that, he takes his time with you, figuring out what you like, what pushes you over the edge, and which position you find enjoyable. You two go at it for hours, Levi fingers you, using his fingers differently as he watches your expressions.
"Does that feel good?" He asks, kissing your neck as you arch your back on his fingers. "Yes! Ummm.." He pushes a second finger in, seeing the way your body shivers at his moves. His slender fingers nudge that gummy spot and you gasp. "Here huh? Interesting..." He thrusts his fingers more rapidly and you cum with a whine of his name. Levi loves that sight of you and is proud of himself that he managed to bring you that much pleasure. You soon find out that his favorite position is missionary, he likes to look at your reactions to know if he is doing it right, his hips snap slowly into you, he kisses you almost the whole time. He is a quick learner and after some time, sex with him becomes immaculate.
Season 1 Levi
Mostly quickies but they are intense. Levi props you up against the wall as he enters you, his hand over your mouth so that you don't make too much noise. Most of your uniforms are still on, so you aren't fully naked. His thrusts are quick and merciless, all he wants to do is get the anger out of him and you are his favorite outlet. He misses you too, the whole world has gone mad but he still sneaks away these naughty moments with you. He bites into his cravat when he feels your pussy clench around his cock, his hips snap faster, it's getting sloppy and loud. Levi pulls your shirt down so that he can bite into your shoulder to keep himself quiet. You tug on his hair when you feel your high approaching. "There she is. You gonna cum huh? You gonna-fuck! cum for me?" You nod, his hand gripping your thigh surely leaving bruises for the next day. "Levi!" You moan against his hand, cumming on his cock, Levi hisses and pumps his cock into you a few more times before pulling out and cumming over your stomach.
Season 2 Levi
Since he is injured, you don't want him to do too much, still, Levi insists. "Name, my foot got injured not my dick." You get the message, your lips trace down his abs, kissing down his body as he lies on the bed, his eyes looking at you. Levi tangles his hand in your hair as you undo his belt and pull his trousers down. "Oh fuck..." His head rolls back when you take his cock into your mouth, sucking him for all he is worth. Swirling your tongue around his tip, you look up to see Levi with his bottom lip between his teeth. "Enough of that." You smile as you pull his hard cock out of your mouth. Positioning yourself on top of him, you Puch your down on his cock. "Fucking...so fucking wet..." Levi says through his teeth when you lower yourself down completely. You start to bounce on top of him, his hands grip your hips as you move. Pretty much lets you set the pace but don't be fooled because if he thinks you're going too slow, he will fuck up into you. "That's it, baby. That's the pace..." He fucks you hard on his cock, your nails dig into his muscular chest. Don't be surprised that your hips have marks after....
Season 3 Levi
Oh boy, he is rough. Levi is frustrated so when he gets you to his bed, it's rough and a little mean. Not too many words are said as he undresses you quickly and throws you on the bed. His lips bite at your neck, hands playing with your nipples. "I'll warn you just once so listen closely, I'll be fucking rough understand?" His head is buried between your thighs, tongue lapping at your pussy like he will never get the chance to eat you out again, his tongue moves harshly, the wet noises making your already tinted cheeks more red. "Levi! Levi!" He slaps your pussy. "Shut the fuck up, I had a bad day. The last thing I need is you whining." Levi enters two fingers into you as his mouth works on your pussy, his jaw hurts but he doesn't stop until you squirt at least two times and your legs shake. Levi puts you in the position he desired you in, face down, ass up. He slaps your ass a few times before entering you, you moan loudly. His thruths are rude from the start, he holds your head down into the mattress as he fucks into you, your eyes roll at the back of your head, droll dripping onto the mattress. "Really? You ruined the fucking sheets." He grabs your hips, fucking your brains out. Round after round, he is as he promised, rough. And when he finally cums inside of you, his head drops onto your skin and he kisses it. Don't be shocked that you can't walk properly for a week after that...
Season 4 Levi
Passionate and intimate, you loved how he looked, age looked good on him and the new uniforms didn't help. Levi kisses you deeply, his hands rubbing your sides as he takes your clothes off, one by one. Your arms are hooked around his neck, his tongue plays with yours. "You ready love?" You nod your head, Levi positioned himself in front of your entrance and gently pushed inside. Both of you moan against each other mouths as he starts to move. His hands are on your back, holding you flush against his warm body, his hips move in a hard pace but not a fast one. Levi wants to take his time with you and make sure you feel it all. Lips trace your collarbones and neck, he sucks a few love bites onto your skin, you throw your head back to give him more access. It lasts for hours, his hands in yours, his cock pounding into you as your foreheads are pressed together. "I'll cum soon, I'll fucking cum.." He moans and you feel his cock twitching inside of you. Cumming, he pulls you close, kissing you passionately as his cum fills you.
Postwar Levi
Sex with postwar!Levi is soft, you two are finally done with fighting and have freedom you have always wanted. He is so soft with you, so grateful that you stood by him the whole time, that you're in his hands alive. Levi kisses your forehead as his cock pushes further into you, your back is to his chest, the fresh morning air making the scene more romantic. He kisses your face, watching your beautiful face. "You're so pretty...thank you...thank you.." Levi whispers in your ear between thrusts. And nine months after that, you're carrying a little bundle in your hands..
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Taglist: @youre-ackermine @the-milk-anon @humanitys-strongest-bamf @cometlevi @mrsackermannx @svftackerman @sixpennydame @levisbrat25 @notgoodforlife @lovolee3 @randomlevithoughts @ackermendick @loveackermannn @luvjiro @sparkywrites25
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atinysuh · 1 year ago
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ateez and their favorite sex positions + explained
yunho, jongho: reverse cowgirl - ok hear me out, imagine yunho guiding the movements of your ass with his huge hand as you bounce on his dick while you look back over your shoulders to watch his expressions. he thinks its so hot to watch you performing on top of him that you almost can see the sparkles on his eyes. he usually let you ride him like this when he knows you had a long ass day at work or college or both and you need to take the stress out of you, so he offers his dick for you to do whatever you want because he just wanna make you feel good. on the other side… jongho also LOVES this position since he can watch your curves. his favorite body part on you is your thighs and the tattoos on it so every time he has the chance to see them bouncing on his cock he’ll take it. he’ll just relax his head on his hands and bite his lips while enjoying his girl. and you also love his thick thighs so you two are even. phew… he’s so fucking hot.
yeosang, mingi: you on top - yeosang loves leaving love bites on your neck and squeezing your waist while you ride him. out of all the girls he has dated in his life you’re definitely the only one who knows how to ride him RIGHT. because let’s be honest, my man’s got a big dick and you can take 100% of him and that’s one of the numerous reasons he fell in love with you at the first place. you kinda got the sauce. he also loves to feel your sweet vanilla cherry scent, he thinks is very sexy, so be careful because sometimes he can get drunk of you! he just place his face in the crook of your neck as you ride him and closes his eyes and stays there guiding your hips, like yunho, but in this case by the waist. okay and mingi… well, mingi is something else. he completely loves sucking on your nipples when you’re on top of him, hands on your ass spanking every now and then to remind you he’s the only one in the world who can bottom you out like that. he kinda asserts some dominance without even noticing and you can’t help it but call out his name every time you go up and down his dick. also, has a huge size kink.
san: BACKSHOTS - 6 words. on the way by jhené aiko. this song is SO choi san coded, every time i hear that “booty clapping from the backshots while we watch porn on the laptop” verse san’s the first person that comes to my mind. we all know he loves a big thick curvy ass that he can spank whenever he pleases. also “inhale the smoke while you stroke inside it” makes me literally malfunction since my biggest guilty pleasure is san getting high and passing the blunt to you while he breaks your back. if i could dedicate one song to one man it would be on the way to san because oh my god i could spend hours talking about this topic but imma stop before i pass out.
seonghwa: face off - we all know seonghwa’s the romantic type… but also the freak type. he likes it when you two are seated at the end of the bed or on the couch or even on the kitchen chair and have you like this, on top of him, facing him. as i said, when you’re fucking in the kitchen, for example, he usually put his elbow on the table behind him and expect you to ride his dick but sometimes it can get a little bit hard for you to keep a steady pace in this position so he loses his patience and quickly switch positions. you’re now laying on the kitchen counter. we also know he’s a worshipper, so he’ll make you feel so loved in his arms even tho he’s fucking the soul out of you. well, love and affection is something you’ll always receive when it comes to having a relationship with seonghwa whether is fwb, a date, a one night stand or a marriage… but he’ll also fuck you HARD and when i say hard i MEAN IT because we’re talking about a fucking aries here and as an aries myself i know exactly what goes on on his mind when it comes to sex.
hongjoong: missionary - still talking about zodiac signs, for those who don’t know, hongjoong’s a scorpio and girl let me tell you about scorpios… ma’am they are another type of freak, like, they literally invented freak, to me they are sex gods. and even tho this is a common sex position doesn’t mean hongjoong will make it ordinary. he’s very possessive so he wants to make sure that you know you’re HIS and his only and he does that by pinning both of your wrists with one hand while he chokes your neck with the other. sex with him is always pleasurable, he’ll satisfy you 200% of the time, overwhelm you even. but you can’t never get enough of him. also, he likes to hear it when you say that your pussy is his for him to please and your body is his for him to touch and that you belong to him. his moto is saying that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he couldn’t stand the thought of somebody else touching your body. i love hongjoong so much.
wooyoung: spoon - OK… i see wooyoung fucking you in a spoon position and it can be any type, with your leg up, down, kissing your neck, grabbing your breasts, chocking you, biting your lobe teasing you, but as long as it is in a spoon position. ooooh he loves the way you bite your bottom lip and do that crying expression with your eyebrows when you tell him to slow down and he just gives you a sassy smirk and says nothing but starts fucking you ROUGHER. you can barely open your eyes to look at his hungry eyes looking back at you because it’s rolling with pleasure. all you can do is whine and not even when he cums he’ll stop, he likes overstimulating you AND him.
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ladykibutsuji · 1 year ago
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Human! Muzan Kibutsuji Headcanons
SFW | NSFW
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• Premise: You are the beloved wife of Muzan Kibutsuji, although it was a arranged marriage your love for Muzan Kibutsuji was real. so what is it exactly like being his wife?
{SFW}
- Muzan always hated the fact that he have a sickness that is almost impossible to cure so he is always mad about it leading to him having such a nasty personality.
- He mostly takes his anger out on his own Servants and his doctor to whom he refer to as 'Fraudulent Doctor'
- In the beginning, Muzan despised you and didn't want to be near you.
- "Why the fuck do I even need a wife? She's as useless as the servants!"
- You dislike his nasty personality but you also understood that he's only mad about his illness that he takes his anger out on others.
- Despite Muzan's cruel words and actions, you have continued to look after him no matter how hard he tries to push you away.
- But as time goes on, Muzan started to appreciate the love and care that he is receiving from you
- And eventually he developed feelings for you
- He'd still be tough on you, but not so tough.
- Sometimes when he notices how tired you are, he wouldn't say cruel words towards you like what he usually does but instead he would be quiet
- In the end, you would notice that he's too quiet so you started asking him questions if he's okay
- He would get mad at you for asking such a question
- "Do I look okay? I have a fucking illness you dumb woman! just shut the fuck up and rest for the day"
- His sentence got you confused, You don't even know whether he's being cruel or nice
- When it comes to drinking medicine, he would make a huge fuss over it saying that it wouldn't even work but when it's you he would just drink it quietly he would still roll his eyes at you though or let out a 'tch' sound
- He only wants YOU to take care of him and refuses to let anyone else to take the spot
- the only time he lets anyone else do it is when you are sick
- since his body is weak he couldn't really take you out on fancy dates
- but sometimes when he feels like having a date with you he would make his servants cook and prepare a romantic table just for the two of you at home
- Muzan's favorite thing to do is to cuddle with you, he won't admit it but he really enjoys your company and touch
- although he wouldn't really ask directly, he would stare deeply into your eyes in silent with a >:| face
- "Do you need anything?"
- "You already know what I want"
- Aside Muzan's nasty personality, he also have a soft personality that only YOU have access to
- When muzan can't sleep at late night, you and him would have a conversation about life and would often be joking around with each other
- "Would you find someone else if I died?"
- "Don't say stuffs like that, You will survive you just have to believe in yourself"
- "Don't be so dramatic Y/N. it's just a what if, I want to hear your honest answer."
- "No, I don't want to... I'd rather stay at your grave for hours!"
- "Just hours?"
- "No, I'll live in your grave"
- "Good"
- That conversation right there is one of the rare moments you have with him since 99% of the time he's an asshole to you and his servants mostly his doctor
- "Y/N, When my illness is gone. I promise to give you the best life you deserve."
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{NSFW}
- DICK: 4 soft, 6'5 erected (Length), 6 in girth, curved upward, Veiny, hairy and tip color is ff9999
- He whimpers
- He's more submissive than dominant due to his body being weak
- You are the one who initiates
- His favorite part of sex is his dick getting sucked on by you
- He likes shoving his cock all the way down your throat
- And he thinks that you are really pretty with his cock on your mouth
- "f-fuck y/n. . . You're sucking it so good~"
- Since he has low stamina you are usually the one on top and the sex position you often do is Cowgirl and Reverse cowgirl
- While doing cowgirl his hands would be on your boobs playing with your nipples or sometimes they are just placed at your thighs giving them a squeeze
- If it's reverse cowgirl his hands would be on your hips and just like cow girl they would also be on your thighs
- You would bounce on his cock while he whimpers and begs you for more
- "ah~....ha~ ...pl-please more"
- Seeing muzan beg for more was amusing so you would tease him about it
- "Please what? Use your words my love~"
- He would get annoyed and grunt but greed took over him wanting more and more, he couldn't get enough of you so he would give in to your tease
- "Please Y/N...Please give me more of you"
- "Good boy~"
- And this is where you would bounce faster
- Muzan doesn't really use nicknames in sex because he's not really that sort of a romantic guy so he mostly just calls you by your own name
- And Muzan doesn't want any nicknames from you
- However you threatened that you would stop moving when he doesn't accept the nickname "Good boy" so he had no other choice but to accept the nickname you gave him
- When cumming he prefers to shoot it inside of you, into your mouth or all over your face.
- "Fuck... I'm close"
- If it's inside of you: he would tightly grip on your hips or thighs
- If it's into your mouth: He would ask you to stop bouncing and to suck his dick, after doing so he would have a tight grip on your hair forcing your mouth all the way down while his seed overfilled your mouth
- If it's on your face: He also would ask you to stop bouncing so he could pull out and come in your face, after cumming in your face he would cupped your cheeks admiring the mess he made
- He could only go for 1-2 rounds so if you are left unsatisfied and still wanting more he would just offer you to ride his face
- Poor muzan's dick was so exhausted after just 1 round
- "Seriously woman? Are you fucking trying to drain me?"
- "Please?"
- Muzan's greatest weakness was YOU, he couldn't refuse your request with that cute face of yours
- Too bad his dick was already exhausted so he offers another way to please you
- "Fuck you woman, Just ride my face and after this go kill yourself"
- Aftercare is important in sex but muzan is too weak to move on his own so you have to be the one taking care of him
- After having a warm bath together and putting on some comfy clothes You would bring in some foods for you and Muzan to eat together.
- After eating, Muzan will offer to let you cuddle with him to which you always Accepts and never once have refused.
- "I hate you but I also love you, but I still hate you more"
- "I love you most"
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flowersforbucky · 2 months ago
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sucker for you
peter maximoff x reader
word count: 1.2k
i can't stop thinking about how peter would react to reader taking his lollipop from him and putting it in her mouth so here's a little drabble about that
a/n: i should be working on this bucky piece that i started like 3 weeks ago but i just needed to get this out of my system first
warnings/tags: language, use of alcohol (everyone is 21+!!), no use of y/n, peter's pov, and some ✨️tension✨️
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Peter didn't know it was possible to get so flustered over a human being.
He's never exactly considered himself to be a ladies man, but around you? He's hopeless. A lost cause. Every time he's near you, it feels like his first very day ever interacting with another person.
From the way that your smile reaches your eyes whenever he makes you laugh with a stupid joke to the way that you always smell sweeter than the candy that he eats too much of, he's been a goner for you since the day he first met you.
And the worst part? You seem to know exactly how to make him blush.
As per usual on Friday nights, yours and Peter's group of friends is hanging out in the woods behind the mansion. You're all lounging around a bonfire that Scott works to keep going strong, talking amongst yourself in pairs.
"You know, I heard Warren telling Scott that he's planning on asking you to the winter gala," Jean snickers to you.
Peter isn't trying to eavesdrop, really. Jean just has zero volume control when she has any amount of alcohol in her system. He'd be able to hear every word she's saying even if you and her weren't sitting right next to him.
"What?" Jean demands when you offer no response other than some giggles and a shake of your head. "You've already turned two people down. You're kinda running low on options at this point.”
He twists the stem of the cherry flavored lollipop that he's sucking on, trying and failing to focus on whatever it is that Kurt's rambling on about. His body is angled away from yours, but he can feel the vibration of your low laughter from where your shoulder rests against his.
Peter had heard that you've been asked to the gala that Charles throws in the name of the X-Men every year. He couldn't lie, he was relieved when he'd found out that you had shot down the suitors - not that he'd ever have the balls to ask you himself. He had no desire to be added to the list of people that you've rejected to a glorified prom.
“So? I can go alone. Going alone is better than going with anyone who isn't the person that I actually want to go with,” you answer with a shrug of your shoulders.
Peter tenses at your words, his stomach doing a somersault.
“And who would that be?” Jean asks in a teasing voice, almost like she already knows the answer.
Before you can respond, Peter quickly shoots to his feet. Kurt comes to a sudden stop in the middle of a sentence, and both you and Jean turn to look up at him from where you still sit on the old, fallen tree that is being used as a bench.
“Where're you going?” You ask. Peter knows it's probably wishful thinking, but he can't help but think that there's a hint of disappointment in your voice.
“Back to the mansion. I've gotta take a whiz,” he retorts, hoping he sounds casual. Truthfully, he can't stand the thought of having to hear you say some dude's name in response to Jean's question.
“Since when are you above pissing in the woods?” Scott laughs as he piles some more branches onto the bonfire.
Peter shoots him an obscene gesture, about to bolt in the direction of the mansion when he feels your hand wrap around his from beneath him. You begin to get up, and he instinctively helps pull you into a standing position.
“I'll walk back with you,” you tell him as you drop his hand. “I'm going to grab a few more beers.” You smile at him in the orange glow of the fire and he forgets how to speak. He motions as if to say after you and you begin walking in the direction of the mansion.
He's fully aware that he could have the two of you back to the school in a split-second, but despite how nervous he gets around you, he'd never pass up the opportunity to spend a few moments alone with you. Living here, you're both almost always surrounded by other people. If it's not Jean, it's Storm. If it's not Storm, it's Raven or Hank. If it's it's not –
“I just had to get away from that,” you sigh when the two of you are out of earshot from the others. “I love her, but Jean can be kind of relentless,” you add with a small laugh.
“You can say that again,” he agrees, his voice mumbled from the lollipop stuffed between his teeth and his check. “Just the other day she was saying that I should ask someone.”
“Yeah?” You quip, a curious edge to your tone. “And are you going to?”
“Nah,” Peter shrugs, trying to play it cool. “Like you said, it's better to go alone than to go with someone who isn't the person you really like.”
“So what's stopping you from asking her? Is she already going with someone else?”
“No,” he answers, coming to a stop in the middle of the moonlit path the two of you are walking on. “She's not. But she's already turned down basically everyone in the school, so I don't think I stand much of a chance.”
Sometimes Peter starts a sentence without knowing where it’s going, but right now even he's shocked by his words. He's not quite sure where the bravery came from, but he can't exactly take it back now. You're not stupid - he knows you can read between the lines to deduce who he's talking about.
You come to a halt, turning back to look at him. He offers a small, nervous smirk and resists the urge to dash away before you can reply to his confession.
“Three people isn't basically everyone in the school,” you chuckle with one of those grins that could bring Peter to his knees. You take a few slow steps towards him, stopping when your chest is just inches from his. Your gaze flickers from his eyes and down to his mouth before you reach a hand up to his face and pinch the stem of his lollipop between your thumb and index finger, plucking it from his mouth.
His eyes widen in surprise, all but bulging out of his head when you pop what's left of the red lollipop into your own mouth. You swirl it around in your mouth, your plump lips wrapped around the stick.
“But for what it's worth, the whole school could ask me and there's only one person who would get a yes out of me.”
You pull the lollipop from between your lips and hold it back up to Peter's mouth, resting it against his bottom lip until he parts them - to speak or to accept the sucker, he's not sure. But he doesn't do anything to stop you when you guide it back inside his mouth, the flavor of the cherry candy and your saliva infiltrating his senses when it meets his tongue.
“Just in case you were wondering,” you shrug, and turn to continue your walk back to the mansion as if you didn't just make his heart combust in his chest.
He speeds after you, deciding that maybe Jean has a point - maybe he should ask someone after all.
•••••
thanks for reading! this was my first time writing for peter, i'd very much appreciate comments/reblogs 💕
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buttercandy16 · 2 months ago
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Betrayal
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PAIRING: Agatha Harkness x Reader
SUMMARY: The reader is heartbroken and finds comfort in the arms of her best friend.
Or who betrayed who...
WARNING(s): Cheating, manipulation, and a whole lot of SMUT.
A/N: My fixation for this woman is just unhealthy and I'm loving it. Enjoy!
Y/N POV
"The day we met was the day I was no longer a man of my own because from that very moment I surrendered myself to you and you alone, my Y/N. " 
Those were the exact words that my beloved husband said to me during our wedding vows. The words that made me feel like I was the luckiest woman alive… not until now.
Greg looks so handsome when he smiles, the way his eyes disappear with such mirth. Especially right now as he dances, swaying his body to the rhythm of the music. He's not really a fan of dancing but he tried it for me because he knew how much I love dancing, it made me feel special. But now as I watch him do exactly what I had originally thought he'd only do for me, with another woman nestled intimately between his arms made me realize that I wasn't as special as I thought I was. 
The way he dances is so much better than how he used to as if he's been doing this for some time now. I originally thought the reason why he's been coming home late was due to his busy work schedule because that's exactly what he's been telling me, I guess I was wrong.
My husband is no longer mine alone…
Tears silently streamed down my cheeks unnoticed as I willed myself to turn away from the scene that turned my world upside down…
The moment I went inside my car that's when all hell broke loose. I screamed and screamed until my throat felt raw and scratched while banging my fists against the wheel. 
Cursing his name for the lies, cursing him for the promises, and cursing him for causing me the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life.
My heart feels like it has been punctured a million times over by tiny pins. It stings at first, but now it feels as if they’ve left me numb, not even slightly painful, just numb. 
How could he do this to me? How could he cheat on me and throw years of marriage into the dust as if it meant nothing?! I gave him everything, I fully surrendered myself to him without reserve as I thought he would do the same to me… oh how wrong I was… 
I cried even harder just thinking of his betrayal but I was also starting to panic as I felt my chest constrict, making it difficult for me to breathe.
Damn asthma…
I looked through my bag for my inhaler, but it was not there. The panic and lack of air drove me to start gasping, breathing as if the oxygen had been sucked from the air around me.
I clumsily grabbed my phone and dialed the first person I could think of at this dire moment. 
After the final ring, I immediately spoke before the woman on the other line had the chance with labored breaths.
"A-agatha… I need you, please."
"Y/N? What's going on? Where are you? Are you hurt?" Despite the buzzing in my head and wheezing from my chest I can still hear the urgency and worry in her voice as she spewed one question over another. 
"Ha-hades Den… please hu-hurry. Can't breathe." I stuttered through the desperate sobs that left my lips, alerting the woman in the other line even more.
"Hades Den? The dance studio? I'll be there as fast as I can, just be somewhere safe and stay on the line with me." Agatha instructed but I could barely hear anything she was saying as I struggled to control my breathing. With my hands cold and shaking I accidentally let go of my phone making it fall next to the pedals.
"Sweetheart? Hey, I'm on the road right now. Hello? Are you still there? Y/N? Please answer me, you're gonna give me a heart attack!"
Already my thoughts were becoming jumbled like I was in a nightmare. Without uttering another sound the side of my face met the tinted window as darkness overtook my vision and my eyes closed.
_=_=_
Not really knowing how long I was out when I was suddenly jolted from my position when the door opened and I fell into the arms of my best friend who without a doubt caught me safely in her arms.
"Oh my God! Y/N!! What happened to you?!" Agatha asked worriedly.
I clung to Agatha’s arms as she helped me out of my car. She held an inhaler to my lips and I immediately took a puff, holding it in for a count of four before slowly expelling the air that tasted of chemicals. It was kinda bitter really, but after so long with asthma, I had come to associate it with easier breathing and so in a weird sort of way I liked it. Agatha put the cap back on the inhaler and jammed it deep into her pocket.
"Ho-how did you know I needed that?" I asked.
"We've known each other since we were teens, sweetheart, I'm fully aware whenever my best friend is having an asthma attack."
One of her hands kept me balanced while the other one cradled the side of my face trying to get a glimpse of my eyes.
The moment our eyes met I could see my reflection in her beautiful blue orbs, and I looked exactly like how I felt…  like shit… making me release another stream of tears down my cheeks.
"Sweetheart, please tell me. What happened?" she worriedly asked again while wiping my tears off with her thumb.
I couldn't really tell her at the moment, I just wanted to get out of here.
"Take me away, please" I softly begged, my voice barely a whisper but I knew she heard me as understanding can be seen in her eyes. 
She gently guided me towards the passenger seat of her car and put my seatbelt on me before settling on the driver's seat.
"I'll call someone to drive your car home," she informed me, I softly nodded in response. I leaned my head to the side of the window with my eyes closed as Agatha drove off away from the studio, away from my cheating husband.
_-_-_ 
"Y/N, wake up. We're here."
I woke up to Agatha's face close to mine as she gently shook me awake.
I was a little bit startled by how close her face was to mine, it was so close that I could feel her breath gently caress my cheek.
"U-um… okay," I gulped nervously, she only smiled before getting out of the car.
Surveying my surroundings, that's when I realized that she brought me to her house.
Agatha opened the door for me and gently took my hand in hers to assist me, leading me inside her humble abode.
Once inside the house, I was met with silence. Too quiet for what I was used to.
"Where’s Nicky?" I asked curiously as I sat down on the sofa while she disappeared to the kitchen.
"Nicky is having a sleepover with his friends. I also gave the staff some days off so it's just us here," she explained, coming back to me with a tray of water and alcohol.
"Alcohol?"
"I have a feeling we're gonna be needing it" she smiled mischievously before turning serious.
"So… are you gonna tell me what happened or should I play the guessing game?" she asked while pouring me a glass of expensive scotch.
"Greg." uttering his name leaves a bitter taste on my tongue. Much more bitter than the alcohol that I'm currently pouring down my throat.
"What's wrong with your husband?" Agatha asked while taking a sip from her glass.
"He's cheating on me."
Shock and disbelief painted Agatha’s face, while I tried my best to keep my tears from falling.
"You're kidding."
"I can assure you I'm not, I saw it with my own two eyes."
As Agatha sat there in shock, she laid it on heavy. "I told you he was no good! He is nothing but a cheating bastard!" After a breath, she continued, "He was never good enough for you anyway." Agatha’'s words rang true as my world started to fall apart.
Finally, I looked up with tears in my eyes asking, "What do I do? Leave him?"
Agatha doesn't even hesitate, "Hell yes! He doesn't deserve someone special like you."
I just sat and listened to whatever Agatha has to say as well as getting a little too deep with the alcohol consumption.
"You see, sweetheart, men like Greg are like damn leeches that suck the life from anything they come in contact with. He doesn't deserve an angel like you." she said with such seriousness which actually made me giggle a bit despite everything, probably because I'm getting really tipsy. I'm also starting to believe every word that comes out from her luscious red lips… 
Wait, What the hell am I thinking?!
I shook my head trying to get these… Um...weird thoughts about my best friend's kissable lips and what they probably taste like.
Arghh!!  What the hell brain?!
"Hey, are you alright?" Agatha looked at me as if I've grown two heads on the spot, which made me blush out of embarrassment. 
"Ye-yeah… Sorry… I'm getting a little too tipsy." I mumbled before getting up from the spot, which was a bad move since I lost my balance and fell backward into Agatha's lap.
"Well, this is comfortable" Agatha smirked as she wrapped her arms securely around my waist which only brought more blood flowing through my cheeks.
"A-agatha what are you doing?" I asked while trying to get her hands off me but failed miserably. She only laughed at my attempts and I was starting to get irritated not until I felt her warm lips softly pressed against my nape.
I went completely rigid from the contact, breath hitching, and my mind running wild with what the hell is going on.
"Is something wrong?" Agatha asks with a grin plastered on her face.
"N-nothing." I stuttered back to her.
Oh god, what do I do?!
"Are you sure? You seem a little flustered. Especially when you were eyeing my lips minutes ago" she asks before pausing, "It's as if you have been thinking of doing something with them."
"Agatha, I... I can explain." I tried to argue, yet I had no argument in my head.
"No need to, I understand. I've wondered for a very long time how your lips would taste as well," she whispered next to my ear. Her breath tickles my now sensitive skin.
Before I could react I felt Agatha's hand on my arm, I almost jumped out of my skin.
"Why don't we stop this little game," Agatha says, bringing her hand to my chin and making me look into her burning blue eyes, "And just… Give… In."
Oh my god! What should I do? This is so wrong.
"That's enough Agatha. I don’t want that and you won't speak to me like this any longer. I’m not like you… I’m not into women and married.”
"We both know that’s a lie,” Agatha whispered, and I watched as my best friend's hands moved to the buttons of my shirt. I could only watch her playing with it, slowly unbuttoning it one by one. "I think you do want it… In fact, I think you're deeply curious about it. You know I can treat you better, and make you feel even better than any man could."
"Aggie..." I went to protest.
"Shhhh." She whispers to interrupt me.
Frozen in my place, I was helpless to simply watch as my childhood best friend now fully unbuttoned my shirt. Her soft, slender hands move to the inside and effortlessly start to push the shirt to the side, exposing just a little of my bare skin.
"Give in, pet. Let your curiosity run wild" Agatha whispers.
My gaze meets her's, her soft lips smiling back at me as I feel soft fingertips running against my skin.
That's when I decided to surrender myself to this gorgeous woman holding me.
In a smooth and quick motion, Agatha pushes the shirt and it falls over. Only being held up by my arms, yet now my front body was fully on show. Wearing just a lace push-up bra, I remained still as Agatha's fingertips continued to explore my body.
 "Do you like it when I touch your body like this?"
Oh god, please help me.
"Y-yes." I stuttered back, closing my eyes as goosebumps appeared all over my body.
Knowing that I was losing control of myself.
She smoothly moved her head forward, her soft, delicious lips ever so slightly brushing against my ear as she whispers in the most seductive of tones.
"Does it feel good baby?"
"I...I....I..." I stuttered back, not being able to speak.
Closing my eyes and feeling Agatha’s warm breath on my ear makes my legs feel like jelly. I can already tell that my warmth is absolutely soaked.
Her hands explored my back and found their way to my bra strap.
"Cat got your tongue?" She whispers into my ear, her tongue slightly leaving her mouth and licking my ear lobe.
I gasped out loud.
My bra strap was unhooked. Pulling her head back, Agatha’s face was filled with joy as she kept a hold of the bra and pulled it back and off my body.
My body, no longer fighting any of Agatha's advancements allowing her to remove my bra, now sitting with my breasts on show.
With a slow movement, Agatha cups my right breast. Slowly playing with it, she flicks her thumb over the nipple over and over.
"Ooohh." I accidentally moan, my legs feeling weak beneath me.
"Do you like that?" Agatha whispers.
"Y-yes," I whispered back.
She continued to play with my nipple in her hand, knowing that I will soon be too far gone to turn back.
"What about this?"
My eyes were wide open in shock and a gasp escaped my lips as Agatha swiftly laid me on my back on the sofa while she hovered over my flushed body. She didn't waste any time and moved her head forward, her soft, plump lips landing around my nipple. Her wet tongue comes out and flicks it, running around in small circles.
I can't stop myself from letting out soft moans, my nipples have always been my weak point. As I looked down at Agatha’s soft dark hair, feeling her tongue playing with my nipple my legs begin to squirm.
She sucks on my nipple and nibbles down on it with her teeth.
"Oooohh." I moaned louder.
"Aggie, this is wrong." I panted out weakly.
"Yet, here we are," Agatha says, giving one last lick before pulling her mouth away. Keeping her hand on my breast, I feel like she had me lying here forever. "Why are you fighting this?" She asks.
Her hand pulls away from my breast. Just when I thought it might be over, Agatha’s hand returns softly to my pants-covered thigh. Instinctively, I slightly opened it and allowed my best friend's hand to run between them, ever so slowly getting closer and closer to my center.
Finally reaching it, she popped off the button and inserted her hand inside my pants, gave my warmth a slow rub from outside my underwear, and whispered.
"Why are you so wet?"
"I.... don't know." I tried to think of an answer but my mind is somewhere else.
"Hmmm… I think you do know. It's because you want this… need this…" Agatha pushed my underwear to one side; she easily slid one finger knuckle deep inside of my drenched warmth.
"Oooohhh." I moaned, biting down on my lip.
"Am I right, baby?." Agatha whispers, arching her finger inside my warmth, rubbing against my G-spot.
"Ooooh god." I moaned louder, closing my eyes and allowing myself to be fingered right here in my best friend's living room.
My head is a mess, the pure pleasure coming from Agatha's finger just increases when she easily pushes a second finger inside and perfectly hits my G-spot.
"Answer me, Y/N," Agatha demanded.
"Yyyyeesss." I moaned out in pure ecstasy.
"Yes, what?" She asks with a smile, knowing she had me where she wanted me.
"Yes, I want it," I said firmly, opening my eyes and staring at her beautiful face.
This spurred her to increase the pace of her fingering.
"Yes!" I moaned over and over, my G-spot getting hit by her amazing fingers.
"Good," Agatha says firmly and pulls her fingers out of my warmth, "Let's take this to the bedroom."
I know I should stop this, deep down I know this is wrong and that this can only end badly. But right now, I was no longer thinking with reason.
"Okay," I whispered.
She grabbed my hand and led me to her bedroom.
Finally, in the room, she shuts the door before sitting on the bed.
"Take off your underwear," Agatha commanded.
Not speaking, I bent over and pushed my underwear off. Now standing completely naked, by choice, in front of my best friend.
"Come sit next to me."
Sitting down, we stared at each other. For a moment, thinking of what is about to happen made my body almost shaking with excitement.
Agatha’s hand appeared on my thigh and once again instinctively I opened them. Her fingertip moves to my swollen clit.
"Oh god..." I gasped. Looking her dead in the eyes as she slowly massages my clit, sending so much pleasure throughout my body.
As my breathing gets heavier and heavier, my legs begin to twitch from every flick of Agatha's finger.
Not being able to control myself any longer, I moved my head forward and captured Agatha's lips with mine. Savoring her cherry-flavored chapstick.
As our kiss deepens, her fingers move faster on my clit making my legs twitch from pleasure.
My hand started to explore Agatha's body, caressing with such gentleness and sensuality. Landing my hand on her thigh, I gripped it tightly as I could feel myself nearing my release but before it reached that point, Agatha suddenly pulled her hand away from my aching warmth, making me whine in frustration.
Stopping the kiss, I stared at her in confusion. But before I could say anything she placed her fingers on my mouth and pushed it in, making me taste my arousal. It was divine…
With the combination of alcohol and pure lust burning through my system, I began to suck on her fingers as if they were a lolly whilst staring into her eyes, making her groan in approval.
The moment my mouth left her fingers, Agatha stood up and undressed with such speed I could barely process how she did it, but here she is now completely bare for me to see and worship.
I was still sitting on the edge of the bed when Agatha gently straddled me, our naked chests deliciously pressing against each other.
She grabbed my head and held it just inches away from hers, staring at each other's eyes.
"Touch me," She ordered.
Not having to be told twice, my hand goes to her smooth warmth which is just as wet as her own. With ease, I pushed my index finger inside and started to rub it against Agatha's G-spot.
"Ohhh yes!" She moans loudly. She looks down at herself fingering me whilst I fingered her. Looking back up we moaned in unison.
"Oh fuck yes!" Agatha moans out, pushing in to kiss me hard as the two of us finger each other.
This continues for a few minutes, each of our moans growing louder and louder.
"Lie down on your back baby," Agatha instructed as she pulled away from me. I was so close to my release but didn't mind it one bit for I was more than excited about what was to come next.
Lying down flat, I watched as she parted my legs and began kissing slowly up to the insides of my thighs.
She went closer and closer to my warmth until it was staring directly at her.
I turned red as a tomato as I saw how Agatha looked at my warmth, she was looking at it as if she wanted to devour it.
"Beautiful," she whispered and slowly moved forward.
Her tongue pushed inside of me and tasted my nectar. With her eyes closed, she explored my warmth. I can feel her running her tongue up and down my soft lips. In and out of my hole before finally reaching my throbbing clit.
"Mmmmm yes!" I moaned when Agatha's tongue first flicked my clit.
The way she was looking at me right now made everything so much hotter, and with it, a moan left my lips.
Agatha moaned back before getting her tongue back onto my sensitive clit.
"Don't stop,”
I slowly started to grind my warmth back and forth on Agatha's eager tongue.
My legs were spread wide, accepting the finger fucking in my warmth as the sound of my juices filled the room.
"Mmmmmm! A-aggie… I'm close.”
"You want to cum all over my face, baby? You want to cum on your best friend's face?" Agatha moaned but didn't even give me a chance to reply when her hands gripped my thigh firmly and in one quick motion slid her fingers knuckle deep into my tight, dripping warmth.
"AGATHAA!!!" I screamed out in pure pleasure and arched my back as my warmth flooded over Agatha's face. An earth-shattering orgasm wrecked my body over and over again.
As my body carries on shaking as my orgasm slowly dies down, Agatha, still hooked on my delicious warmth, carries on licking me, lapping up every drop of cum as she can while continuously she fingers my overstimulated warmth.
"Agatha, stop." I panted out, feeling too sensitive after cumming.
"Just one more, baby. Give me one more." She coos, with her words I screamed as my second orgasm was ripped from me. This time squirting all over my best friend's face and soaking the silk sheets that she shares with her wife. The taste of my sweet release on her tongue, and the magnificent sight of me squirting was too much for Agatha, making her cum hard with a primal moan.
After cleaning my warmth with her tongue she sits to the side and just stares at me with a beautiful smile on her face, looking quite proud of herself. I can see my juice dripping from her chin and some still glossing her lips which she seductively licks with her tongue, while her eyes are devouring mine.
What a sight…
She starts to slide her fingers around my lips. The fingers that were just in my warmth.
"Mmmm." I moaned as I happily took them into my mouth before her fingers were replaced with her soft lips.
Our lips parted before staring deeply into each other's eyes. All I could see in her eyes was pure admiration, desire, and…love?
"You're mine now, sweet thing, and I will not let anyone come in between us… never again." She whispered before gathering me into her arms with my head resting on her chest.
Her words ring inside my head, but I find myself loving the idea of being with Agatha, not quite processing the last part of her declaration which I gladly dismissed. All I can think about is that she wants me to be hers, and that made me feel like the whole damn zoo was having a party inside my tummy.
"Yours" I softly whispered with a bright smile on my face.
For a few minutes, we just both laid there basking in each other's warmth in silence. The smell and taste of my release filled our senses, and the room itself. It was the last thing my mind processed before letting sleep take me into the arms of my new lover.
_=_=_
It was a little before 11 pm when I pulled into the garage of my mansion, a mansion I share with my cheating husband. Thinking about it should've still made me feel bad, but that wasn't the case anymore. Because all I can ever think about the moment I left Agatha's home was her touches, kisses, and sweet words that she constantly whispered in my ears.
I came in the door a bit tired from the earlier activities but with a glowing smile still etched on my face. I set my bag and jacket on the kitchen table before I saw Greg eagerly enter the living room and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. "Wow, honey, you...you look glowing."
I just smiled a wicked little before answering in a slightly snarky tone. "Oh, thanks, honey."
If only you knew how I got this glow…
"Where have you been? I've been calling your phone non-stop but you weren't answering. I was so worried." Greg said, his voice raw with worry.
Getting fucked by my best friend in a much better way than you'd ever could… no biggie. I wish I could say these words out loud but I did my best to refrain from doing so, instead, I went into acting mode.
"Oh, I'm so sorry hon. I forgot my phone in my car. I was with Agatha the whole time, and well, we got busy…so busy that the time completely slipped my mind." I explained with my most convincing voice.
You cheating bastard don't deserve a single damn explanation from me, but I'll play your game, Greg… just for the kick of it.
"Well, I'm just glad you're home safe and sound. By the way, I have a surprise for you. I know I've been really busy lately, but I want to make it up to you tomorrow night."
"Oh, that's nice," I answered, not overly excited but still kept on indulging him.
"And to celebrate the anniversary of our marriage, maybe even a bigger surprise for you. I learned to dance." Greg happily announced, I on the other hand am confused as hell.
Shit, I didn't even realize the date for tomorrow is our anniversary. At that moment, Greg stepped toward me, pulled me in, and waltzed with me a few steps. While we danced, he said, "I have been taking lessons twice a week. I know I am no expert dancer, but I wanted to do this for you. I even have reservations for us."
I continued moving with Greg, my eyes wide and in shock as my mind started to spin. I suddenly stopped and just stood there. All I could think was 'this can't be. There is no way it was just dancing. He was cheating on me. He had to be cheating on me.' I had tears streaming down my face as I thought of what I had done earlier.
"Honey, I also took the liberty of buying the dress you saw last week when we went to the mall. I know it's a big surprise but we have all night to dance the night away." I was in shock as I continued to stare at him. And all I could ask is, "How?"
"Well, it wasn't easy. About two months ago, I was talking with Agatha, and I was saying how I wanted to do something big like learn to dance. She said she knew someone who offers dance lessons. So, for a week during lunch, we would work on a few basics in my office. Then, we progressed to going out dancing every Tuesday and Thursday at Hades Den, the dance studio. I invited my dance instructor and her fiancé to join us. I thought I owed them a nice night out after how helpful they have been. I'm so glad Agatha managed to keep it from you, I made her swear not to, so the surprise won't be spoiled. I was quite shocked since we both know she can't even keep a secret." Greg chuckled.
Hearing Agatha's name was enough to snap me out of my trance, "A-agtha knew?"
"Oh, she more than knew. She knows all about the entire plan. Sometimes she'd go to Hades den to make sure I'm progressing. Your best friend really wants the best for you, she's a gem. You're so lucky to have her in your life, in our life."
My mind started racing, and my breathing was getting shallower with every second that passed by. Greg saw this and immediately ran to my bag and grabbed my inhaler.
No… no… this can't be true…this can't be true. It doesn't make any sense… why would Agatha keep this… Agatha lied… she lied… and then she seduced me… we fucked… Greg never cheated… Agatha knew… we fucked… Greg didn't cheat… But I did… I cheated… I'm the cheater and not Greg… I cheated…
My mind was in jumbles as Greg placed the inhaler on my lips asking me to open my mouth… but I don't think I want to… I wanna drown in this asthma and just die on the spot.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as the feeling of guilt and betrayal started to eat me whole. My husband's worried voice feels like a faraway echo, as my mind is consumed by one question.
Agatha… What did you make me do?
_=_=_
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eideticmemory · 4 months ago
Text
BABY DADDY | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER
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A one night stand leads to much, much more than either of you bargained for.
Word Count: 8.3k
Warning/Includes: BabyDaddy!Matthew, duh!!! Smut Lite™️.
So, the thing about babies is that they don’t really give a fuck about context. They truly couldn’t care less about what you’re doing, what’s happening in your life, your goals, your dreams, your ambitions. It’s all irrelevant. They will show up anyway. And what the little clump of cells in your uterus has failed to realize is that you do not know their father. At all.
Seriously.
You know him biblically. Obviously. You’ve shared drinks and a bed. You’ve seen him naked. He’s seen you naked. You’ve spent, maybe, an hour and a half together total. And you spent the majority of that time making the conscious decision to leave together, undress and fuck. You’re pretty sure the last thing you said to him was, “Safe travels.” As in, I don’t want to see you again. As in, If all goes well, I should never have to see you again.
You used a condom. You’re not dumb, you used a condom. So when weeks passed by and your period was late, you didn’t think anything of it. It happens. Sometimes periods are just late.
But it never came.
You bought the pregnancy test just to be safe. In fact, you were so sure that you were playing it safe that you didn’t take it for another three days. Pushing it back and back, hoping your period would come.
It didn’t.
So you squatted over the toilet and got a good amount of pee on the thing and waited two minutes just for it to stare you directly in the eye and say: FUCK YOU, DUMB BITCH. YOU’RE PREGNANT.
Okay, it just said pregnant. But that’s what went through your head. Your knees buckled and you grabbed your stomach, almost like you could feel the thing just hanging out in there. You doubled over, thinking you were going to puke, but you didn’t. You eye the test again and then, out of pure nerves, you puke.
You buy two more tests. They call you a dumb bitch again, just a little louder. You want a bottle of wine but you don’t have one because you’re pregnant. You want a lighter and a goddamn cigarette but you don’t have one because you don’t even smoke and you’re pregnant.
You sit down for lunch with your friend and it’s the first time you say these words out loud.
She yells, “You’re what?”
Pregnant!
You give her this look that says please don’t make me say it again and she doesn’t. She heard you very well the first time.
“W-wh-what…” she trembles. Shaking, like she’s the one knocked up. “What? H-how…what? who’s the daddy?”
You sigh, cut your eyes up at her, and her jaw drops, stuttering, “O-oh…no…no…[y/n]…no.”
“It’s gotta be him. He’s the last guy I had sex with. I had gotten my period before then. Now, no period, three positive pregnancy tests.”
“Three?” she shouts. “Oh, so you’re pregnant pregnant?”
“Yeah, I took three just to be sure and they all told me to go kill myself. So.”
“Oh my god…” she shudders. “Oh my god? Oh my…” and she chugs her glass of wine in one big gulp. It looks good.
“What are you going to do?” she asks you.
You shrug, your mind made up, “I’m keeping it.”
“What?”
“Okay, you need to quiet down now before we get kicked out of here.”
“What do you mean keeping it? As in, giving birth? As in, raising a child?”
“Yeah, exactly that.”
“O…kay…and the baby daddy?”
You shrug, “What about him?”
“I-“ she slams her hands down. “[y/n].”
“What?”
“You’re not gonna tell him?”
“Why would I? I have a house and a job and insurance and a 401K, I can take care of my kid.”
“Well, yeah…but it’s…his kid, too? Why-why are you keeping it if you’re not gonna tell him?”
“Because I want a baby. I don’t know. I-I thought about…getting it sucked out of there, but I don’t wanna. I want a baby. I want a kid. And yeah, this…isn’t the conventional way of doing that, but I never much saw myself with a husband anyway.”
“So…what’s the plan? Matthew’s just walking down the street one day and a little carbon copy of him comes out of the shadows saying ooh, aah, look at me! I’m the love child you unintentionally abandoned 10 years ago! That’s fucked.”
“What if he doesn’t care? What if he wants to abandon the kid? What if we’re on the same page?”
“Then at least give him the option.”
“Ugh.”
“[y/n], just give him the option. What? You can gargle his cock in your mouth but you can’t have a conversation? You need to tell him.”
“Okay…” you roll your eyes.
“And whatever the outcome, he stills owes you money. He stills owes some type of financial support, whether you want it or not.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Whatever. Look, I work with him when he’s in town, okay? I see him, I have to interact with him, I can’t hold on to this and I can’t be the one to tell him. [y/n]…please…”
“Okay!”
“Okay?”
You huff, “Okay. Fine.”
“Okay. You have his number?”
“No.”
“Classy,” she quips as she scrolls through her phone and you roll your eyes, “Okay, I’m airdropping it to you now.”
His contact comes through to your phone and you only stare at it long enough to accept and then you plant the device face down on the table. You suck back an anxious gulp of water and fidget with your hands, “This is your fault, you know?”
“What? How?”
“You’re the one that introduced us. At that launch party or whatever. What was that even about?”
“It was the launch party for a new production company and fuck you, you whore. I didn’t force you to go and get yourself knocked up. That was all you, Matthew and those free shots.”
“Oh, please, you practically threw us together.”
“Yeah, well, sue me, I thought you guys would hit it off,” she shrugs. “Not quite this much, but…”
The two of you sit in silence, looking around the restaurant, picking at your food.
“So,” she pips.
Your eyes flicker up at her.
“How was it?” she smirks. “Worth a baby?”
You let a long sigh, shaking your head with a very violent roll of your eyes, “Honestly…yeah…”
So far, pregnancy doesn’t suck. You’re still early, still not showing. There’s been no nausea or bloating. The insomnia, however, is getting ridiculous. You’re normally the type of girl to crash in bed as soon as possible, knocked out the moment your head hits the pillow. It is now midnight and your eyes are wide open, unable to relax. You check everything possible off of your to-do list, even scheduling your first obstetrician appointment. The only thing you haven’t done is call Matthew, having had his number sitting in your phone for close to a week now. To make it worse, all you want is a cinnamon roll. But not just any cinnamon roll. One from the late night bakery down the street. This is especially dangerous because you know very well that they are still open and somewhere out there is a cinnamon roll with your name on it. It would be nuts to leave the warmth of your bed right now, walk a mile in the dead of night, just for a cinnamon roll.
But you’re going to.
You bundle up and head out into the summer night, looking completely insane. Hoodie, sweats, tattered sneakers built for walking down the New York City sidewalks. It’s not far and you walk fast, faster than normal tonight because the craving is just that strong. You make it in all of ten minutes and within five more, you have the box cracked open and are tearing a piece off with your bare hands.
You look up for merely a second and your eyes catch him immediately. Now, you’re tired. Your blood sugar’s just shot up but you’re pretty sure it’s him. Posing for a picture with a fan. Tall. Beautiful. Smiling. His eyes land on you and he excuses himself, throws up a wave. You jump, looking around, contemplating running. But, yeah. That wouldn’t be suspicious at all. By the time you stop fidgeting, he’s standing over you and you’re trapped.
“Hi!” he greets you. “Hi, [y/n], how are you?”
You wipe frosting from your mouth and chuckle, more caught off guard by his remembering your name than anything. You cough, “Hi. Matthew, hi. I’m good. I’m doing good. How are you?”
“Good! Just heading home.”
“Oh! Oh, you have a place in New York?”
“Yeah, near the park, just a few blocks over. You live around here?”
“Uh…” you did not know this so you’re forcing your brain to catch up. “Uh, yeah, yeah. About a block over, just… couldn’t sleep. Wanted a cinnamon roll.”
“Looks good,” he giggles. “You look good.”
“Oh, you’re full of shit,” you smile.
“No! No, I mean it. You look great. I love the cinnamon roll run outfit. Honestly.”
You blush, you don’t mean to, but you blush. “Well, thank you. You look good, too.” He does. You can tell he’s just leaving somewhere because he’s dressed up and you suddenly remember very vividly how you ended up pregnant.
“Aw, thank you. I appreciate that…” his eyes scan over you. “Where did you say you live? Can I walk you home? It’s late.”
You want to shout No! Thank you! and run. It wouldn’t be hard to do. Why not? Still, you say, “Yes. Yeah, I’d like that.”
And so the two of you stroll down the empty sidewalks together, he does most of the talking. You can hear it in his voice that he’s flirting. You’ve heard it before. It has been successful, with you, before. Yet, you’re too busy this time around trying not to puke. He walks you to your door and you notice your cinnamon roll has gone cold in your hand.
“This is me,” you tell him. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” he smiles. “We should get together again, if you’re up for it.”
You nod, “Mhm. Yeah. That sounds nice. Um, I’ll give you my number.” He instantly pulls his phone from his pocket and hands it over. He’s serious. You type your name and number in and hand it back, chewing on your bottom lip.
“Perfect,” his fingers linger on yours as he takes his phone back. “I’ll call you. Hey, could I use your bathroom? I pee fast so I won’t inconvenience you too long.”
No!
You snicker, “Yeah…” you start to unlock the door. “Of course. Sorry in advance, it’s a little messy.”
“Oh, a little mess doesn’t scare me,” he laughs.
You let him in and point out the bathroom and as soon as he disappears, closes the door behind him, you release the breath that’s been trapped in your chest and plop down on the couch. “Fuck,” you mutter to yourself. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
The toilet flushes and then there’s a loud bang from the bathroom and you snap back to reality. “Matthew?” you call. “You alright in there?”
“Yeah, sorry,” he calls in response. “Just kicked over your trash can. Sorry!”
“That’s okay!” you reply. You relax.
It is definitely not okay.
You hop up and sprint to the bathroom door. You don’t even knock, you just burst into the bathroom where Matthew is picking up the spilled trash. Your eyes instantly land on the pregnancy tests and you can’t do anything but stand in wait.
When he notices them, he laughs. Not a cackle, but a soft giggle, almost silly, “You pregnant or something?” he asks. It’s a joke. He’s making a joke.
He looks at your face. It’s not a joke.
He stops laughing. He stops smiling. You’ve never seen someone’s entire being go so pale.
“Oh, you’re…” he stutters. “You’re…” he breathes. “Is it mine?”
You can hardly look him in the eye but you do and you nod.
“How long have you known?”
You gulp, “Like…a week. I haven’t been to the doctor or anything.”
“Are you…” you can see his chest heaving. “Are you serious?”
You nod, “Yes.”
He looks around the bathroom, wobbling on his heels and you worry he’s going to pass out. Instead, he slams the toilet seat down and sits on it, falls on it. “What…what are you going to do?”
“I’m…” you clear your throat. “Keeping it.”
“Oh.” he says. “You don’t...you’re not…”
“No. I don’t want that.”
And this is where his words became jumbled. Mumbled. Barely incoherent. He, himself, cannot even figure out what he’s trying to say.
“Look,” you interrupt him. “You don’t have to be involved, okay? You don’t even need to be on the birth certificate. I can handle this. I will handle this. If you wanna drop me a couple hundreds bucks every month and call it a day, that’s fine. If you don’t? Also fine. But I need to know because we’re…not…confusing this kid, okay? So, you need to be all in or all out.”
“Are you...” he cuts his eyes up at you and then promptly rises to his feet. “I can’t do this right now.”
You’re so dumbfounded as he rushes past you that your brain doesn’t even fully process it until he’s almost out the door. “Where are you going?”
“I have to clear my head. I-I have to get out of here.”
“Uh, okay...” he closes the door in your face. “Bye…”
And in the wake of all this exciting, suddenly surrounded by silence and cut tension, you remember your cinnamon roll. You want it after all.
When your friend asks if you’ve told Matthew, you say, “Yes.”
“Oh, shit. You called him?”
“No.” And you have to explain. You have to explain every awkward, uncomfortable, terrible second.
“And I haven’t heard from him since,” you shrug.
“Really?”
You nod.
She sighs, “Wow…fuck him.”
“Fuck him.”
And you meant that. You’re content with that. You feel like you can move on. Prepare, nest, move forward. Then he calls you. Out of nowhere. His name pops up on your phone and silences the music that had been playing while you took a bath. You stare at the screen for a long time, wondering if it’s best to protect your peace. It is. But still, you answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey, [y/n]?” he clears his throat. “It’s Matthew.”
“Matthew,” you sigh. “Hi.”
“Hey, um, when is your first doctor’s appointment? Has that passed already?”
“Um…” you furrow your eyebrows, genuinely confused. “No. It’s on the twenty-sixth. At Aster on the upper west side. Eleven o’clock.”
Silence.
Then, he says, “Okay…okay, I’ll be there.”
You shrug, “Okay.”
“Okay.”
You arrive at 10:45. You do not expect him to show up, like truly expect him to show up. So when he comes walking into the waiting room, your heart genuinely stops. You cross and uncross your legs, shuffling in your seat.
“Hi,” you whisper, with very minimal eye contact.
“Hi.”
The nurse calls your name and Matthew follows you into the examination room, taking a seat beside you. The technician asks you a series of questions about your last period, your symptoms, your health history and Matthew hears none of it.
“And are you dad?” she asks him.
He feels like he’s going to throw up. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess.”
You roll your eyes and luckily, this kind woman cuts the tension pretty quickly. She slathers this cold gel on your belly and presses the wand to your skin and the heartbeat picks up immediately.
“Oh, wow, strong heartbeat already!” she grins at you. But you can’t take your eyes off the monitor. Matthew either. “You’re right around ten weeks so there’s the little head and you can see their arms and legs starting to form here.”
You can. You can really see it. There’s a baby in there. Barely. But a baby! You look at Matthew and his look of pure terror mirrors yours. It’s kind of comforting.
The nurse wipes you off and says, “So your estimated due date is March 10th, but again, that’s just an estimate so take it with a grain of salt because babies tend to follow their own schedule. You’re looking at anywhere from two to three days before or after.”
“Holy shit,” Matthew swears. “That’s the day after my birthday.”
“Is it really?” you tilt your head and at this, the nurse is dumbfounded. At this, Matthew is completely silenced.
You ask for two separate copies of the ultrasound and the technician has gotten over the shock. She’s not going to question it anymore, not going to give it any thought. Let you two sort it out.
As you stand outside afterwards, twiddling your thumbs, unsure of what to say or what to do, he asks, “Are you hungry? Can I take you to lunch?”
You cross your arms, wanting to say no. Wanting to lie. Instead you sigh, “Yes,” you nod. “Yes, please. I’m fucking starving.”
So he takes you to a cafe down the street where you order possibly the biggest burger even seen and fries and a cup of veggies and a piece of cake. It’s awkward, silent, and he just watches you eat. Almost like he can’t wrapped his head around it. You come up for air and catch his gaze.
“Hey,” you swallow. “Don’t look at me crazy. You’ve never had something in your body competing for resources.”
He chuckles, “No judgement. Eat what you want.”
“That was my plan.”
He picks at his food for a few moments and then sighs, “So…how…how are we gonna do this?”
You would ask for more context but you don’t need it. You know exactly what he means. You shrug, “I don’t know…” you shrug again. “I don’t know, just…do the best we can, I guess?”
He nods, “Yeah. Yeah, that always seems to work for everyone else.”
September | 14 Weeks
The deal is that Matthew will come in every four weeks for your appointments. This is what he agrees to, but you’re not convinced it will happen. But your next appointment rolls around and you’re shocked to walk in and find he’s beat you there. This time, he sees you and he smiles. His eyes scan over your figure as you take a seat, he goes, “Oh, you’re…you’re kinda starting to…”
You glance down at your tiny baby bump and you have this weird urge all the time to touch it so you do. “Oh. Yeah. I finally had to start telling people at work. They made me a registry.”
“Oh, that’s nice. What…what do you need me to get? What does a baby need?”
“God, dude, too much shit, I swear. Plus, I don’t even know what I want to dress her in. There’s like a million different brands and they all look the same or are made from spider silk or something stupid. I don’t know.”
He tilts his head at you, “Her? You think it’s a girl?”
You shrug, “I don’t know. I don’t think we can find out just yet anyway but, maybe?”
This little grin appears on his face and he almost reaches in to your bump, but he doesn’t. He shuffles in his seat, clears his throat, “A girl would be nice.”
You smile, “I think so, too.”
You both get your updated ultrasounds to go and the technician is greatful to not feel so suffocated this time. The energy around the two of you has shifted. Not much. You’re still strangers and it shows. But it’s different. You smile, you joke around, Matthew speaks up, asks questions.
It’s different.
At the end of the appointment, he asks you, “Hey, are you busy tonight?”
“Oh…” you’re caught off guard. “No. Why?”
“I was wondering if you might want to come over? For dinner maybe?”
“Oh.”
“Nothing…weird. I just…want you to know where I live and…I don’t know, I thought we could just talk.”
“Um. Okay. Okay. Send me your address.”
“Okay. I will.”
And so because you reluctantly agreed, you show up at his doorstep at six o’clock sharp. You’re not dressed up or anything, but it’s starting to get cold and you just threw on this big puffy jacket.
He opens the door and greets you with a bright smile, saying, “Hey, you. Come in.”
“Thanks,” you meekly walk in and instantly look around his place and oh, it’s fucking gorgeous. Comforting. Because you can’t have a baby with someone who lacks interior design skills.
“Are you still craving chinese? I got us a fuck ton.”
“Oh, my god,” you sigh in relief, smelling the food, instantly plopping down at the kitchen table. “Oh, my god, yes, thank you.”
“Of course,” he smiles.
You look around and notice the ultrasounds on his fridge, staring at them as he sets up a plate for you.
He takes a seat beside you and takes a bite of his food, then asking, “So, where are you from?”
It catches you off guard so you laugh, “What?”
“Where are you from? What’s your family like? Where’d you go to school?”
“Um, okay…what…you interrogating me?”
He laughs, “No. No, sorry. I just…uh, I wanna get to know you better, that’s all. You can ask me anything you wanna know, too.”
“Hm,” you nod. “Okay.” And you spill your guts.
You wrap your life up in a nutshell and it becomes this rapid game of back and forth about whose parents did this and how many siblings do you have and who was your first crush. Who’s your best friend. Who’s the last person you dated. Tell me about all the people you’ve dated!
Your baby daddy is kind of a slut, but, honestly, who are you to judge?
He’s funny. As far as you can tell, he’s honest. He doesn’t have or want to hide anything from you. What’s the point?
“So, um,” he says. “Why don’t I make you a drink and give you a little tour? Oh, wait, you…”
“Can’t drink,” you nod. “Yeah. Thanks for reminding me.”
“Sorry,” he laughs. “I have sparkling cider.”
“Bleh.”
“Sparkling water?”
“Bleh.”
“I…orange juice?” he laughs but you’re dead serious.
“That sounds so fucking good right now.”
“Yeah?” he chuckles. “Okay, you got it.”
And so, with your cup of orange juice, you follow him around his home. You see his bedroom, his office, and in the corner of the house, an empty room where he proclaims, “This will be the little guy’s room. I’m not sure what I’m gonna do with it yet, but definitely something.”
It’s beautiful. Lots of natural light but he says he’s already started looking at blackout curtains. “And then in my room,” he adds as you walk by. “I’ll have one of those little beside bassinet things, y’know? Just until he gets a little bigger.”
You look up at him with this sober look. You stumble around until you find somewhere to put your glass down and he asks, “You alright?”
You turn back to him and almost immediately jump into his arms, mouth open, a whole growing human between the of you, but still you are close. But still, you are kissing.
“Woah…” he huffs. “W-what…what are you…”
“Sorry,” you breathe out. “It’s nothing personal. I’ve just got a lot of blood rushing to a lot of different places and w-what?” you stutter because he’s caressing your face. “Y’know, it’s not like you can get me pregnant. It’s more like a…a favor?”
His eyes scan over your face and he nods, scoops you up in his arms like it’s nothing. “Yeah, okay, that makes sense,” and he carries you into his bedroom.
October | 18 Weeks
The greeting this week is different. In the past few weeks, there’s been a lot more casual texting. A lot of Matthew asking: Hey, how are you feeling today? Do you need anything? Do you have groceries? You appreciate it.
He walks into the waiting room a few minutes after you and you actually stand to say hi.
“Hi, you!” he pips and he gives you a big hug. This time, he is not so shy and he takes a hold of your bump in both his hands, leaning down to say, “Hi, you! What are you doing in there? Woah!”
“Ah,” you groan. “Yeah, kicking the shit out of me. lately. Don’t get her riled up.”
But he pokes at your belly again and those legs come back swinging. He laughs, “Oh, my god, that’s so cool!”
“Yeah, not so much when it’s the middle of the night and it’s directly on your bladder.”
“Oof. Sorry, I should be stern,” he leans down. “Knock it off, kid.” And the kid kicks back.
“Oh! Jesus. Okay, that was…bad. Keep practicing.”
He cackles, “I will.”
In the exam room, the technician asks, “Do you wanna know the gender?” The smile on her face tells you that she already knows.
And as you shout an enthusiastic, “Yes!” Matthew is shaking his head, saying, “No.”
And then there’s silence.
“What…” you chuckle. “What do you mean no?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “I kinda just wanna be surprised.”
“Hm…” you furrow your eyebrows. You turn to the technician, “Well, I wanna know, will you put it in an envelope for me?”
This envelope is hand delivered to you at the end of your appointment and you hold it tight in your hands all the way out the door. You tear into it as soon as you step outside and Matthew shouts, “Wait!”
“What?”
“I don’t wanna know! Open it when you’re alone.”
“Okay…” you shrug, putting the envelope in your purse.
The two of you stand there, silent, avoiding eye contact.
“Fine, open it,” he says.
“What?” you laugh. “I thought you didn’t wanna know?”
“I don’t! I don’t. But-but you should know. Open it.”
You roll your eyes at him and take the envelope out of your bag, breaking the seal, flipping it open and showing absolutely no emotion. You rise and fall from the tip of your toes, biting down on your lip.
“Oh, c’mon!” he groans. “What is it? What is it? What is it? Just tell me.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“You positive?”
“[y/n]…” he whines.
You chuckle and turn the paper around to face him and his entire expression goes blank.
“A boy?” he whispers. Followed by, “Oh, my god, a boy!” Then, “A boy?” Finally, “A boy…”
You giggle and nod, “A boy.”
Halloween falls on a work day, after which you immediately come home to take a nap. You awake to find missed calls and texts from Matthew, the last of which reads: I’m coming over. You see this just before he rings your doorbell.
You answer and flinch, caught off guard by his costume. His makeup, the whole thing. “Oh…” you say. “You did say you were weird about Halloween.”
“Um, I don’t know if weird is the word I used but…here! For you,” he hands you a bag full of candy and you laugh, taking it from him.
“Thank you.”
“And…also, for you,” and he hands you a pumpkin.
“Oh! Thanks?”
“It’s the exact same weight as the baby. Weighed it myself.”
And your heart just kind of melts. “Aw…that’s so cute…” you hold the thing in your hands and look down at it. “Wow, what? No fucking way that’s in there.” you say in disbelief, holding the pumpkin level with your belly.
The two of you burst into laughter and Matthew sighs, happily exclaming, “Yeah, that’s him.”
November | 22 Weeks
Before your next appointment, Matthew calls you to ask if you’ll spend Thanksgiving with him in Vegas.
“Y’know, I told my family and-and they were…y’know shocked. But, they wanna meet you. I’m sure you already have plans but if you don’t…I’d really love it if you came with me.”
You sit in silence for a second. “I…I don’t have plans. I’ll go.”
“Really?”
“Oh, did you…want me to say no?”
“No,” he laughs. “No. I just thought you would. Um, well, okay, cool! Cool. I’ll book the flight.”
“Okay. Cool.”
Matthew meets you at your place the day before Thanksgiving, greeting you with a hug and a kiss on your belly. “Hey, you ready?”
“Yeah…” you grumble. “I’m all packed, just tired.”
“Want me to carry you?”
“Ha…ha…no, thanks.”
“I’m so dead serious. I’ve been lifting weights, gotta train to carry a baby around.”
“I’m telling you, this fucker is heavy.”
He laughs, “Yeah, he looks it already. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Um…” you sigh. “Can you just carry my bags?”
“[y/n].” He looks you in the eye. “I was going to do that anyway.”
You get sick on the plane and the flight attendant gives you ice to chew and a cold rag for your forehead. Matthew is constantly rubbing your leg and fanning you with the safety booklet.
“Ugh, I’m so sorry. What can I do?” he asks.
“Will you be the pregnant one for a little bit?”
“Yes, if that’s what you need.”
His face is serious and you can’t help but laugh, “Fuck you.”
As you drive through the desert, you have to keep your eyes closed to feel peace. You only open them when the car slows down and you arrive at the house.
“Oh, by the way,” Matthew says as he shuts the car off. “My family thinks we’re together. Like dating.”
Your eyes goes wide and you shoot up in your seat, “What? What?” you yell.
“Look, look, I’m sorry! I didn’t know what else to say!”
“Uh, how about I got a little too drunk and horny on a Friday night and put a baby in someone? You don’t lie! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I…ugh! I’m sorry. I know, I know. I will tell them the truth, but not right now. [y/n], please.”
“No.”
“[y/n]…”
“No. Fuck you! How could you wait until we get here to tell me that bullshit? You’re insane!”
“Okay. Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry, let’s just, please go inside and I will fix it.”
“No.”
“What?”
“I don’t wanna go inside now. You pissed me off.”
“Oh, my…” he huffs. “[y/n], please.”
“No!” you cross your arms. “I’m staying in the car.”
Just then, his mom comes rushing out the house, waving to you both from the front door and you have to put on a smile very quickly.
“I will tell them,” he whispers.
“Oh, you fucking better,” you sneer, still smiling. “Or I will.”
You play along as you’re introduced to everyone. You tell them about yourself. You show them the most recent ultrasound, you pig out on all the food just laying around and somehow, along the way, you forget why you were mad.
Until you retire to bed and they have you and Matthew set up in one room. Then, you are pissed all, over, again.
You rush into the shower to avoid him and when you come back out, he’s laying in the bed.
“Hi,” he smiles nervously.
“Fuck you.”
“Okay.”
“Did you tell them?”
“No. I’m sorry. I will.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Matthew.”
“[y/n]-“
“Matthew!”
“Okay. Okay. I’ll tell them now.”
“Yeah.”
Still, he lays there. “I…I pulled out your maternity pillow. All ready for you.”
“Get out the damn bed,” you grumble and he’s up before you lay down. And worse, he just stands there.
You roll over from your side, looking at him. He’s looking at you and his face pisses you off so you shout, “Matthew!”
“Okay!” and he leaves the room.
He comes back in after you’ve fallen asleep but still, half awake, you ask, “Did you tell them?” and you don’t even question it when he lays beside you, cradles you in his arms.
“Yeah, I did.”
“Good.”
And you fall asleep just like that.
Thanksgiving goes well, despite the recent news. You practically clear the table yourself because you’re eating for two and one of you is much greedier than the other. You meet Matthew’s dad, who spends the entire evening lulling you into security just to later pull the two of you into a separate room.
Here, the conversation gets legal. And while you were not expecting it, you’re grateful. You hadn’t thought of any of this. Custody, exchange schedules, schools, primary addresses, out-of-state trips. All of it.
His dad finally asks, “And what last name will the baby be taking?”
You say, “[y/l/n],” as Matthew says, “Oh, Gubler, for sure.” And the two of you just slowly turn to look at each other.
“Oh…” he dad says. “You two should probably discuss.”
That discussion lasts well into the night. Through the drive to the airport. Through the flight.
By the time you land, you’ve compromised. You’ll hyphenate.
December | 26 Weeks
Your next appointment is just over a week before Christmas. Matthew agrees then to spend Christmas Eve with you. Your family comes into New York just to keep you from flying yourself. When they arrive, your home is cluttered with boxes and pieces of the crib and a dismantled bassinet and bottles and boxes of diapers and wipes. Your baby shower was a huge success. You and baby boy want for nothing. But you’re big, you’re stressed, you’re aching and you can’t stop crying.
“Baby, let us put the nursery together for you,” you mom suggests.
“No. No, we’ll do it. It’s fine. I want to do it.”
“Okay. Speaking of, is your baby daddy gonna be here any time soon?”
“Yeah, he’s on the way.”
And as if on queue, Matthew walks in and everyone exclaims, “Hey! Baby daddy!”
Your sibling walks up to him immediately and says, “Love Criminal Minds, dude,” and you put your face in your hands.
Matthew gets everything stuffed into the nursery just for now so there’s more space for everyone to move around. He helps your mom with dinner and he doesn’t mind when they poke and prode into his life.
“So, baby daddy, what part of New York are you in?”
“So, baby daddy, is this your first kid?”
“So, baby daddy, do you think you might propose to [y/n] someday?”
“Baby daddy, what’s your net worth?”
And this is not an exaggeration. By the end of the night, he responds to baby daddy like it’s his actual government name and he confesses to you that it makes him uncomfortable.
Standing on your balcony, he wraps a blanket around you and rubs your shoulders, “Y’know, I understand the terminology, definitely. But…damn.”
You cackle, “Well..you are my baby daddy. We’re having a baby together, but were not together, but we have sex sometimes. It fits. Hey, I’m your baby mama!”
“Aw, well…” he sighs. “Thats sweet.” And he grins at you as you burst into laughter.
Your family leaves to stay at a hotel and Matthew stays to make sure you’re okay. You’re pretty fucking exhausted to be honest. So he tucks you into bed and runs his hand over your hair, “You need anything?”
“No. Just sleep.”
“Okay,” he touches your belly. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
When you wake up in the morning, your first thought is that you need to eat. You remember some sugar cookies that your mom had brought by last night and you decide to have them for breakfast. You walk to the kitchen and passing by the nursery, you almost don’t notice. Then, you stop in your tracks, tilt your head and walk backwards.
It’s done.
It’s done!
The crib is built, the dresser and changing table are assembled, the mobile’s up and running, the rocking chair is in the corner. Even the wall art you picked out is hanging up.
“Wh-what…” you stutter and then you march to the living room where Matthew is passed out on the couch. “Matthew!” you shout. Still, he doesn’t wake. So you rush over and shake him, going, “Matthew! Matthew!” and he jolts awake.
“What?” he takes hold of your hands. “What? Are you okay? Are you alright?”
“Yes. What…what the hell did you do?”
“What do you mean?” he rasps. “Oh…the nursery? Do you like it?”
“Do I…” you cut yourself off and run back to the nursery, where you wander around the room unable to focus your attention on just one thing.
Matthew follows behind you and watches you from the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. “Well?”
“It’s…” you gleam. “Exactly like my pinterest board.”
“Of course it’s exactly like your pinterest board, I’m not insane!” he laughs.
You feel this peace wash over you and you hug your baby bump as you breathe out a slow exhale. You turn to him with a smile and he thinks you’re running to give him a hug. So when you all but tackle him, take him a kiss, push him to the floor, tear off his clothes, it all happens so fast.
When it’s over, you have no bottoms on and your head is laying on his chest. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I should probably stop attacking you like that.”
He chuckles, “No. Don’t. I don’t mind.”
January | 30 Weeks
Your appointments are every two weeks now. This is the time you expected Matthew to miss at least one, but he never does. He’s always there. Even when he’s not with you, he’s always there.
When your insomnia is at its very worst, he facetimes you in the middle of the night.
“Hey,” he smiles at the screen. “I knew you’d be up.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Insomnia still kicking your ass?”
“Every night this past week.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry, honey,” he frowns. “But since you’re up, I thought we could talk baby names?”
“Oh,” you say. You had forgotten about that. “Oh…right…names.”
“I know, we kinda dropped the ball on that one,” he laughs. “Now, it’s kinda a Gubler tradition that all the boys have the middle name Gray. Y’know, alliteration and all.”
“Oh..that’s…” Boring, you think. “Unoriginal. Can we compromise?”
“Well, I’m already compromising with the hypenating so I don’t know.”
“Oh, good g-“ you roll your eyes. “Sir, you hyphenated like 7 months ago, let it go.” And he lets it go. You add, “I like the name Lincoln. Link.”
“Ooh, no. He used to bully me in school. What about Silas?”
“Yeah, cause he’s a vampire? Veto. I like Noah.”
“Cause he’s building an arc? Veto!”
“Ugh.”
“What about Simon? Y’know I voiced him in the movie.”
You roll your eyes, again. “Yes. We know. Veto.”
Silence falls over the call as you both rack your brains for another suggestion. And like a domino, it naturally falls into your mind, “Theodore?” you shrug.
Matthew smiles, “Teddy?”
“Aw!” you squeal. “Teddy Gray…” you say aloud and then a tear falls from your eye and then you’re full blown sobbing in front of the camera. “Teddy Gray, that’s it. That’s his name.”
And Matthew is freaked out because he’s never seen you cry before. Ever. Not at the doctor, not in the nursery, he’s never had the pleasure of meeting your hormones face to face quite like this. “Yeah…” he chokes out a sob. “That’s it,” he wipes his eyes. “Fuck, why am I crying?”
“Oh, why would you be, you fucking freak?” you shout and he thinks it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.
Suddenly, your doorbell rings and it silences you, scares you. “What the fuck?” you whisper. “Is that you?”
“Nope. I had something delivered.”
“What? Right now?”
“Just a little cinnamon roll and a milkshake, but I can tell them to leave if you don’t want it?”
“Oh, my god,” you rush out of bed and immediately waddle to the door, “You’re amazing. I wanna have your baby.”
February | 34 Weeks
Your customized pillows and blankets have come in the mail. They all say Teddy and his baby book says it too. It is perfect. It’s your son. At your last appointment, he weighed about 7 pounds and you certainly feel every ounce weighing you down.
But for Teddy, it’s worth it.
For now, you’re still going to work and taking an afternoon nap for survival. Matthew jokes all the time that you can quit your job whenever you’d like. That he can take care of you both, just say the word. That was never the deal, but you appreciate it.
When you arrive home on Valentine’s Day, you’re just getting settled when your doorbell rings. You look through the peep hole and the delivery man is holding the largest vase of roses you’ve ever seen.
“Hi,” he greets you. “[y/n] [y/l/n]?”
“Yes,” you nod and take the roses in your arms. “Thank you.”
He hands you a tiny bag and you carry everything inside, setting them down on the table.
“One more thing,” he tells you and when you turn around, it is a teeny, tiny vase of snipped roses. The vase is personalized with the name Teddy.
“Aw,” you want to cry but you can’t do it in front of this random man. So only when he leaves, you let the tears fall and you set Teddy’s vase near in the window in his room. You leave your flowers on the living room table and take a small jewelry box out of the bag. Inside, are the most gorgeous pair of ruby pendant earrings and you audibly gasp.
The card accompanying it all reads: Sorry I can’t be with you and Teddy today, but I’m thinking about you both. I’m always thinking about you.
Happy Valentine’s Day, baby mama!!
M
March | 37 Weeks
“Any day now, [y/n],” your doctor beams, rolling the wand around on your belly. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” you nod. “Excited. Scared. I didn’t give it much thought about how I was gonna get him out of there.”
Her and Matthew laugh, Matthew holding your hand like it’s No Big Deal.
“You’re gonna do great. You’re right on track for your due date, but it’s possible you’ll start feeling some contractions in the next week or two. If you notice them coming really close together or your water breaks, I want you to put that birthing plan in motion, okay?”
“Okay,” you and Matthew say in unison. It would’ve annoyed you before. Now you just smile at him because you think it’s cute.
Matthew escorts you back home and he’s hoping you’ll settle in and maybe rest. You don’t. You end up in the nursery, walking around like maniac. There is absolutely nothing to do. Nothing to move. Nothing to fix. Still, your brain tells you there must be something.
“Honey, honey,” he calls, taking you by the hand and guiding you to the couch. “Come lay down, please. Everything is all set.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” he laughs. “You’re just nesting, I read about it online.”
“Oh, you and your baby google.”
“There really is so much out there!”
You roll your eyes, smiling as he covers you with a blanket. “You still going to Vegas this weekend? For your birthday?”
“Oh, no. No, I think I’m just gonna stay in New York.”
“What? Why? I thought your mom was planning a whole thing for you? You can’t miss it.”
“Well, I don’t wanna miss Teddy coming either. I don’t wanna leave you alone like that. The doctor said any day now.”
“Yeah, but, she also said it could be well over another week before I start contracting.”
He sighs, visibly anxious.
“Hey, look,” you pull him into your arms. “I appreciate you wanting to be here, I really do, but I want you to enjoy your birthday and I highly, highly doubt this kid is planning on escaping any time soon. Plus, my friend will be here if anything happens so, just, go, baby daddy, we’ll be fine.”
He sighs, “Fine. But you’ll call me if anything happens?”
“I will call you.”
“Immediately?”
“Immediately!”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
March 9 | 37 Weeks and 6 Days
The eve of Matthew’s birthday, you get roughly four hours of sleep. You rise with the sun and sit in Teddy’s room, folding his clothes, piling them in his dresser.
You friend wanders in, having just woken up herself and she sighs, “What the hell are you doing, crazy lady?”
“Nothing.”
“This nursery looks like it’s straight out of Architectural Digest. There’s nothing else to do, why don’t you go lay down?”
“Why is everyone always wanting me to lay down?”
“Because you’re carrying a human maybe? Duh?”
“I’m fine. I feel fine. I need to check on the bottles and make sure I have the right sized nipples because I’m not sure…”
“[y/n], you have all the nipples in the world. The ones, the twos, the threes, the ones on your tits. It’s fine!”
“I’m just checking!” And as you step towards the kitchen, you suddenly stop in your tracks, grab onto your crotch in shock.
“[y/n]?” you friend rushes to your side. “What’s wrong?”
“I-I…I, um, I think I just pissed myself?”
“Wh-what? Pissed yourself or did your water break?”
You look up at her in fear, “Oh my god.”
“I’ll get the hospital bag.”
“Oh my god.”
“Get some pants and shoes on, dude!”
“Oh my god,” you repeat. “I-I have to call Matthew.”
So you do. You do. Just in the knick of fucking time, your name pops up on his phone and he quickly grabs his luggage and sprints off the plane that was doomed to take off any second.
When he arrives at the hospital, he bursts into the room at full speed, thinking he’s already missed everything. Thinking it’s over. He finds you bouncing on a birthing ball and you grin at him.
“Hi, baby daddy!” you huff. “Happy birthday!”
“Hi! Hi…” he walks up to you, takes your hands in his although you do not stop bouncing. He kisses the top of your head, “Are you okay? How far along are you?”
“Three centimeters,” you pant. “And I am not getting off of this ball until it’s 10!”
“Okay, well, you have to take a break at some point. Do you need some water?”
“Nope! Just need to bounce.”
You last, maybe, five more minutes and then you need to lay down. Except you can’t. Because your contractions are ridiculous and you can never get comfortable and you end up on all fours in the bed, crying and groaning.
And three hours later, you are only 5 centimeters dilated.
Matthew lays in the bed beside you, patting your face with a rag, feeling absolutely useless. “What can I do, [y/n]? Tell me what to do.”
You cry and squeeze his hand until this contraction passes. You pant, “Y-y’know…I’ve heard sometimes…when a baby won’t come out…p-people….sometimes…”
“What? What do they do?”
“They…y’know…”
He is still confused.
“Like!” you shout in frustration. “Like, what gets the baby in also gets the baby out!”
It clicks, “Oh!” he exclaims. “Oh. Will that…will that hurt him?”
“I don’t think so,” you shake your head. “But he’ll sure as shit get the message.”
And so, two fingers, ten minutes and six big pushes later, Theodore Gray [y/l/n]-Gubler is born. He weighs eight pounds, five ounces but he feels so heavy in your arms.
Finally in your arms.
Matthew, like a big baby himself, can’t stop crying. Can’t stop looking at him. Can’t stop kissing your face, “Look at him! He’s beautiful! You did it! Oh, my god, [y/n]! Look what you did!”
Teddy is truly the best birthday gift Matthew has ever gotten.
Two days later, you’re discharged from the hospital. Matthew arranged for a car to drive you home and he installs the car seat himself. He pushes you out in a wheelchair, despite your frequent protests, and gets Teddy buckled in. He then helps you and into the car before sliding in on the opposite side of the car seat.
You cover Teddy with his blanket and touch your fingertips to his face. He’s fast asleep, but this little grin forms on his face and the two of you chuckle.
“Hey,” you coo to him. “Hey, mister man, what are you doing? Huh? You…really don’t look a thing like me.”
Matthew cackles, “Yeah. Yeah, that seems to be the general consensus.”
He follows behind you with the car seat as you unlock your front door and lead them inside.
“Should we…I mean, do we just let him sleep?” he asks you.
“Until he’s hungry, yeah,” you nod, taking Teddy from his carrier. “Oh, hi…” you whisper to him. “Hi, mister man, you wanna lay in your bed? Hm?”
You place him in his crib and he doesn’t make a sound. Doesn’t make a move. Matthew plops down on the floor, legs crisscrossed and you sit right beside him.
“He’s so fucking cool,” he tells you.
You giggle, “The coolest.”
The two of you could stare at him all day. You will.
“Is it still okay if spend the night?” he asks.
You look up at him with a smile, “Yes, we’d like that very much,” and you put your head on his shoulder.
His kisses your forehead softly, saying, “Cool.”
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writingsonsaturn · 9 months ago
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lucy taking care of sick reader!!!
lucy and r aren’t dating yet, but they aren’t just friends either. when r doesn’t come into work one day, and no one (besides grey) has heard from her, lucy goes straight to her house when she goes out on patrol. she stops in throughout the day after finding out that r is like beyond sick.
maybe a little scene where r lays her head in lucy’s lap and lucy run her hands through readers hairrrrrr oh my
lovesick - lucy chen
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{ masterlist }
🪐: im still trying to find my writing style, so hopefully this is okay and fits what you wanted!! <3
word count: 982
content warning: sickness (flu like), just fluff
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
You woke up with a throbbing head and a clogged up nose. Originally, you thought you could power through it and suck it up long enough to finish a shift, but the moment you stood upright your world became disoriented. 
Doing your best to breath through the dizziness, you reached over for your phone to call into work. Grey practically pleaded with you to stay home when you mentioned you would come into work if you needed to, “you have more than enough sick days, use them and keep your ass out of my station.” You just sighed and agreed, saying your goodbyes when he wished you to get better soon.
Without much thought to it you passed back out on your warm comfy bed, hoping sleep would rid you of the constant pain your brain was forcing you to endure.
Lucy checked her watch when she got in, thinking maybe you were just late or had been caught in some early morning traffic. As the time ticked away she decided maybe it would be best to text you, and when she didn't get an answer her thoughts ran around her head like an athlete competing in a race that would determine if they go farther into their season. 
She opted to check in on you when she was out on patrol, getting into her squad car and making you her first check up of the day, praying to whatever could hear her that you were there and okay.
Pulling up to your apartment she felt a ping in her chest, she wasn’t sure why she was so worried about you. You guys weren't exactly a couple, but the others would argue that you two were basically already married, you both would laugh it off and call the team crazy, still continuing the narrative that you two were just ‘friends”. 
Lucy knew better than that though, she knew you were the first person she called when she was having a rough night and needed a warm bed to share with someone, you were the first she told about good news, you are the only person she truly, and deeply loved with every living and beating part of her body.
She grabbed the key you had given her for the nights she needed someone, after the Rosalind situation you forced her to promise you that no matter the time of night or day she would come over whenever she needed to. Lucy wouldn’t say she now abused the fact she had a key to your place, but it was used more than her own key to her apartment at this point.
“Y/n?” Lucy called out, she heard the faint sound of a groan coming from your bedroom, alerting her of your presents. “Hey, are you oka-” Her words were paused by the sight of you, your skin was shining with sweat and you were cramped in a fetal position. “My love, what happened?” she quickly came over to you touching your forehead, flinching at how warm it felt compared to her skin.
You only groaned and rolled over, “i really don't feel good luce.”
You tried your best to explain all your symptoms, but your scratchy throat only allowed for so much irritation before you were in a coughing fit. Lucy rubbed your back gently, doing her best to coax you through your attack, “Here let’s get you out of this stuffy room, and on the couch, yeah?” she encouraged. You nodded leisurely and threw your arm over her shoulder, allowing her to help you to your living room.
Quickly, Lucy put anything and everything you could possibly need besides the toilet in arms reach. “Before I leave, do you need absolutely anything else, babe?”  you only smiled at her with droopy eyelids, “No, but i wish you didn’t need to leave” you pouted at her causing her to smile. 
“Call me or text me if you need me, I'll be here in an instant.”
And then she was gone, you continued to pout until her next check up with you during lunch. “Okay, love, i brought you some chicken noodle soup and some cough syrup” she set the soup in front of you with cold water and a pre-measured cap of medicine. “Thank you, love” you croaked out, “You don’t have to thank me” she replied while helping you get in an upright position so you could comfortably eat your food and take the disgusting medicine.
“I'll be back after my shift, and remember to call-” “call you if i need anything, i know, honey.” you finished her sentence, she left you with a quick kiss on your forehead.
After eating and forcing yourself to down the medicine you fell back asleep, you woke up a handful of times with the constant tossing and turning, and being too hot or too cold. You finally decided you had slept enough and reached for the tv remote, aimlessly flipping through channels.
You heard the door click and a smile began to grow on your face, “sorry i'm late! Traffic has been just awful today” Lucy explained, taking her shoes off and sitting her to-go bag on the counter. “It’s okay hon.” you looked at her as she sat down. 
“How are you feeling?” Lucy asked you, as you laid your head down on her lap looking up at her, “I've certainly been better” you joked. 
She reached her soft fingers to rake through your hair, massaging your scalp, aiding the headache that had been attacking your head all day long. “Well i'm here now, darling” she looked down at you, soothingly rubbing your forehead, lulling you to sleep. 
She gave herself an imaginary pat on the back at getting you to sleep so quickly, making a mental note that maybe when you get better she’ll finally take you on a long awaited date.
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yearning-for-autumn · 11 months ago
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Eris NSFW Alphabet
A/N: Ok, this is very self-indulgent...leave in the comments who you would like next! Also any other headcanons you have for Eris. I literally live for comments.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Eris loves aftercare because A. deep down he’s an exhausted mother hen and B. he’s touch starved. Basically it’s more for him than it is for you. Just let him fuss over you and he’ll be happy. After a particularly intense session, he has a deep need to know you are ok, that you feel safe and cared for. He can’t bear the thought of you not feeling like the princess you are, and if you ever experience subdrop he would absolutely panic and be very much not chill about it.
B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Eris is fond of his hands, he has long fingers (wink wink). He likes to compare his hands with yours to see the size difference. 
On you, Eris is a tits guy through and through. He’s never really grown out of the teenage obsession, and thinks any and all boobs are great. Small boobs, perfect to hold. Big boobs, perfect to fuck. All boobs are good to suck on. I’m not going to say anything about Mummy issues but I’m sure you can catch my drift. 
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
On the subject of tits, Eris loves to cum on them. There’s something about claiming you with his seed that gets him worked up. Whenever he cums anywhere on your body you know you’re about to go for round two, he can’t help it. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Eris has this fantasy of dressing you up in a collar and having you act like his little pet all day. He keeps this under wraps and probably always will unless you’re down to clown. But there’s something that gets him so worked up about the thought of having you down on all fours, a collar with a tag that says his name on it, lapping at his thighs for a taste of his cock whilst he coos, talking about how sweet you are, what a cute puppy…yeah…
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
I think Eris is probably quite experienced. He had an adventurous youth, behind his fathers back of course, and he definitely knows how to fuck you right. When he’s finally free of his father though, and is able to have a proper relationship with someone he loves, I can imagine him getting nervous that he’s not experienced enough with anything long term, but this is his inner critic talking, I don’t think you would be complaining.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Eris wants you on your knees, whether that’s all-fours, on the floor, riding him, etc. He’s a big big fan of reverse cowgirl because he can watch his cock driving into you in exquisite detail, and he can pull out and paint the small of your back with his cum so easily. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Eris isn’t really a goofy guy, his humour is more dry and sarcastic which doesn’t translate great to sex. He tends to be pretty serious, and the only humour involved is one sided, with him amusing himself, degrading and teasing you (but let’s be honest, you love it).
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
The carpet matches the drapes, 100 percent. He has a happy trail down his perfect v-line and keeps things well-groomed, he’s a male that values his appearance. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Eris doesn’t really go in for romance, he swings one of two ways, hard dom or super soft dom. Depending on his (and your) mood, he can be an arrogant, degrading ass, or sweet and gentle yet teasing. He’s very good at reading your mood and always knows exactly how to play things, this man is an expert in body language. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Eris prefers if you’re the one getting him off, honestly he would ask for a handjob everyday if he could (he probably does). But if either of you are away, he’s not exactly going to not masturbate to the memories of you, cock drunk and drooling as he fists your hair and takes you in his chair right in front of the window so all of Autumn can see. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
DDLG - When you’re both in a certain mood, I think Eris likes to baby you a lot. He wants to look after you, in the small things as well as during sex. He loves it when you act all shy and innocent, it only makes him want you more.
Innocence - More on that topic, I feel like Eris has a bit of a virginity kink. He would definitely want to be the one to take your virginity if possible, and if not don’t worry because he’s down to role-play. 
Pet-play - Eris wants to own you. He wants a collar around your neck, and he wants you to obey his every command. He also thinks you look absolutely adorable with little puppy ears clipped into your hair, it makes him want to absolutely ruin you. Call him Master, better yet call him your King.
This is going to come up later as well, but I don’t think Eris would want to switch with anyone other than someone he was extremely comfortable with, so before you he would have never tried it. That being said, he does have a bit of a Mummy kink (yes im british sorry) and I think he would be down to explore this, but he’s definitely more comfortable in the dominant role. 
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Eris is a bit of a fan of public sex but only when you are involved. He doesn’t really want to put himself in a compromising position, but he’s more than happy to show you off. More than anything he wants people to see your submission to him, not necessarily sexual, but imagine sitting next to him in a meeting and all of a sudden you’re pulled onto his lap so that he can kiss your neck whilst listening to some boring courtier.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You. You get him going. Because he’s horny. No but he’s sooo turned on if you sink to your knees, bat your eyelashes, ask him if you can make him feel good. He’s so going to cum all over your face. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Eris likes to degrade you, but if he ever gets comfortable enough to sub for you he can and will cry if you try it. Don’t degrade him. His self-esteem is on the ground as it is, there’s no need for that. 
He also doesn’t really want to do anything involving feet, I just have a silly headcanon that he really dislikes them. Like it’s bordering on a phobia for him. He hates seeing them. Who knows why, I definitely don’t and I just made it up. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
This man can make shoving his cock in your mouth feel like he’s the one giving you a treat. Like is it really giving, no, but do you appreciate it, yes.
He is an all-star pussy eater though, he’ll probably eat you out quickly and efficiently as part of foreplay most days to make sure you are thoroughly soaked and open for him. 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Eris fucks rough. Let’s be real. He fucks with fire in his veins, I doubt that means slow and romantic. On your anniversary though, he’s going to light candles, and he’s going to drive you absolutely out of your mind, fucking you slow and hard, whispering praise and cruel teasing as he fucks you into the bed.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Eris loves a quickie honestly. Oh, he’s got a meeting at 10? Time for a quick fuck. Oh you’re late for work? But you have 15 minutes for a blowjob right? 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He is down to experiment, I mean he’s quite kinky really and has experimented in the past, but he’ll be a bit nervous to scare you off or go too far when you’re early in your relationship. He has some trust issues he’s working through, but he really does want to try everything with you.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Mmm Eris lasts a long time, and he wants to go multiple rounds. He just has so many positions he wants you in that he can’t just choose one, he has to try a few out right?
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Eris love love loves to dress you up, i’m talking collar, garters, lingerie. He’s very much into toys, for both of you, and thinks anything that enhances your pleasure is worth it. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He’s a tease, he’s a degrading tease. ‘Aw baby you like that? Stupid slut, drooling around my cock, does my pretty baby want more? Hm? Well you’re not getting it.’ 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
I think at first he would stick to dirty talk, and try not to moan too loudly. But after you express your interest he lets go completely. He’s feral, he’s loud and he doesn’t stop talking. You could probably cum from just his words to be honest, he has a filthy mouth. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I think the first time you ever try pegging Eris he cums literally immediately. He won’t let you bring it up ever, and he’s insanely embarrassed by it, but deep down he knows you only care about making him feel good and would never tease him in bad faith. It takes him a little while to try it again though, because our poor baby is repressed. 
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Eris has such a pretty cock. It curves upwards in just the right way, it’s the prettiest shade of pink at the tip and blushes deep red when he’s needy and desperate. He’s longer than he is thick, and it hits all the right spots.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Eris is a horny horny boy, but he’s quite good at hiding it. He tries his best not to overwhelm you with how much he wants you, but realistically you want him just as much, I mean how could you not.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Eris physically cannot fall asleep until you are asleep. He will fuss over you for as long as it takes, and no matter how much his eyes are drooping shut, he needs to know you are tucked up and comfy first.
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avelera · 2 years ago
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Was thinking about how Hob and Dream could both be insufferable in some way because, in fairness, Hob comes across as someone who could make friends with bread if left in a room with it long enough.
Then I had a thought:
What if Hob Gadling is just super fucking insufferable to other immortals?
See, Dream is... difficult for mortals to get because he's got his whole eldritch thing going on. But while he's not particularly popular with them, I imagine other immortals at least get and respect his whole deal. Like, he's the Dreamlord. Of course he's weird. But they understand the laws and principles he's referring to at least when he's being weird. He seems to at least have a pleasant relationship with the Faerie Court. It's mortals who can't really connect with Dream and find him exasperating as a result.
Whereas Hob gets along great with mortals, just swell. He's Just A Guy who happens to live forever and people get along with him. But immortals? We don't really see it much but immortals positively loathe this guy.
Dream's reaction to the whole, "I've made up my mind, I've decided not to die!"? Hob tossed out in 1389? That's the teeth-grinding level of irritation Hob engenders in every immortal he comes across (before they have centuries to get to know him) and it is exactly why Death just had to make this man immortal because it would be hilarious.
Why doesn't Hob hang out with other immortals besides Dream? Because the minute he opens his mouth about how great life is and how he's never had even a moment's doubt about how much he wants to live, every immortal in the room starts to make the gagging motion.
You're an immortal just trying to have a bit of a kvetch about Kids These Days and how much times have changed and how it was better in your day, and there's Hob fucking Gadling again ready to throw down about how amazing antibiotics and automobiles and the latest iPhone number whatever are and like, sure, but you were just trying to say back in your day things were better, right? Not objectively maybe but you're just trying to indulge in a bit of immortal nostalgia and Hob fucking Gadling is not having any of it and is ready to argue you into the dirt about it.
You're immortal but haven't quite kept up on today's slang? Hob Gadling will absolutely call you out and he's a teacher now so he's going to be super nice about it but you know he's judging you for saying groovy unironically and thinks you should get with the times already.
You're a vampire living off centuries of generational wealth? Hob keeps talking about how you should get a job and get out of the spooky mansion more, and maybe you wouldn't feel so much existential angst. You like your existential angst!
Hob doesn't have a single ounce of patience for immortals who want to wax poetic about wishing they were mortal again. Diseases, he says, have you ever had diseases? Like even a cold? It sucks. It really fucking sucks. The Plague? The fucking worst. You don't need to be mortal to get involved in mortal life, Hob fucking Gadling keeps pointing out at the monthly eldritch coffee meetups. You can just live as a mortal and share in their problems and enjoy the fact you don't have to deal with the shit parts like getting sick. Completely missing the point of the futile lamentation of regretting one's lost mortality is something you enjoy.
Hob harshes the vibe of every single immortal out there. They are so goddamn sick of him. There's a reason he has no apparent immortal friends or connections to the supernatural world despite (in the comics) seeming to have met other immortals and having the occasional supernatural encounter that he immediately brushes off as dull when compared to what the normal, every day world has to offer.
No other immortal can fucking figure out what Dream of the Endless sees in this guy, and how he can stand to talk to him even once a century without storming off (which, in fairness, Dream has done on 2/7 occasions). Dream, not otherwise known for his patience, is seen as a saint in the eldritch community for even spending as much time as he has over the course of 600+ years with Hob fucking Gadling.
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sturnalsm · 6 months ago
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FOCUS ON THE ROAD BABY... ᡣ𐭩
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ִ࣪𖤐Matthew Sturniolo 󠀠ִ࣪𖤐
warnings: touchy backpack, teasing on the road, a little bit of smut, make out.
summary: Matt is your best friend, he has a motorcycle which he loves going out with. tonight you wanted to go with him and he aggreed..
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Tonight you and Matt decided to hang out with his motorcycle together. You were going to he his backpack.
you hold onto his waist with your head on his shoulder..slowly you start roaming your hands trailing up along his legs. a deep voice comes trough tue speaker in his helmet. "what are you doing?" he asks breathing heavily "enjoying myself"
you unzip his jacket so you can slip your hands under his shirt, sliding over his smooth skin. he leans back taking one hand off the handle bar and wrapping it around your leg, granting you for better access.
then you travel back and forth along the waistband of his sweatpants. he lets out a low groan "y/n- stop i cant focus.." you dont stop, instead you slip your hand inside..
you know you're driving him insane and killing him to focus on the road controlling the bike to keep both of you safe..
you feel his hand squeezing your leg, while you're sliding your hand under his pants, making you moan quietly. your hands feel the wetness in his boxers making you smirk under your helmet. "y/n put your fucking hands on my waist before i pull up somewhere and fuck you cuming deep inside of you making you feel it for days inside of you."
you act like you didnt heard him and you start squeezing his dick. "fuck you y/n.."
he sees a parking lot with no cars on it deciding to pull up there and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
"why are you stopping Matt?" you ask as he gets off the motorcycle, taking off his helmet and putting it on the infront of the bike. you put your visitor up so he can see your eyes. "you are a fucking tease, doll"
he takes you off the motorcycle and flips you over. "bend over and hands on the seat sweetheart you're going to need to hold on.."
you do as he says. "i know what you're doing, and im going to show you what this leads to. im going to fuck you until you cant stand on your beautiful legs anymore, princess"
you smirk under the helmet "oh yeah? are you?" he looks around one more time to make sure there aren't any people there.
as you're bending over like a little kitten infront of him you gmmove your ass closer to him feeling his cock getting even harder than before. he pushes your ass back and slides down your pajama sweatpants in one go with your underwear.
he takes off his own sweatpants with his boxers, grabbing both of your hands putting them behind your back. with one hand holding your hands and the other strocking himself he positions at your entrance and slams into you without any warning. "FUCK MATTHEW-"
"shut the fuck up someone could hear us you doll" he spanks your ass as he starts moving faster and faster. you cant stop moaning so he puts both of his fingers in your mouth "suck my fingers while i fuck you from behind bitch"
you start sucking his fingers causing him to roll his eyes back from the pleasure of your pussy wrapped around his cock.
still holding your hands behind your back he starts going deeper inside of you making you feel every inch of him inside of you. sucking his fingers you try not to moan, but its literally impossible when he is breaking you.
he is slamming inside of you with unbelievable force causing you to scream. "matt im going to cum.." you say as he speeds up his movements even more.
"you are going to cum when i allow you to." he let go of your hands and holds your hips slamming you against his own. the whole parking lot is filled with your bodied slamming against one another.
"plea- m..matt l-" you moan failing to make a sentence. "use your words, what are you begging me for, doll?" he knows exactly what you want , he knows you want to cum, but you? you know if you cumw without his premission he will fuck you until your legs are completely weak and your vision is blured.
"plea..se let me..c- cum Matt..." you barley get those words out of your mouth. "hm..i dont think i heard you can you repeat?" he stars teasing you making you taste your own medicine. "PLEASE LET ME FUCKING CUM MATTHEW" you scream as you punch the seat next to you.
the second he lets you cum you starts shaking making a mess on his cock. "good girl begging me to cum huh?"
he still doesn't stop. "Matt please im sensitive-" you say as he starts speeding up his movements once again. "just a little more, baby"
he says as he slams his hips into yours using his bike as a support. you try to get your hand and push him by his chest but you fail to do so.
you just give up because you know he wont stop and he will get what he wants from you. "ohmy...." he says as he throws his head back.
he starts going deeper inside of you so he can release his cum that deep that you'll feel it inside of you for days.
he thrust one last time deep inside of you so you can feel the cum in your stomach.
"youre such a good girl for me , doll" he says as he spanks your ass and gets his cock outside of you.
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HIII , I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE , I TRIED MY BEST.
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