#I’VE BEEN CURSED 😭😭 POISONED!!!!
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touchme-teezme · 1 month ago
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hi mimi! idk if u take requests but last pick was everything to me like i lovedddd the book that inspired you 😭🥹 can i PLEASE get a san version with the “did you want to watch me burn” poem? just destroy me. my heart is yourssss
This Time.
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PAIRING | collegeboy!san x fab!reader
TAGS | arguments, smut with a plot, kissing, oral, angsty unprotected breakup sex, san has great pull out game, and a (sort of?) cliffhanger… again? idk i suck at writing tags and proper endings lolololol
RATINGS | NSFW 18+ (minors pls DNI/if it makes u uncomfortable don’t read it)
SONGS | No One Noticed - The Marías, Not You Too- Dr*ke & Been Like This - Doja Cat
SUMMARY | The breakup for this couple was on the horizon. One of them was in denial, and it’s not you.
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ thank you all for showing Last Pick a lot of love & anon for enjoying it. since a san version was requested, here ya go :) lmk which member should be next if you'd want me to actually make this into an angsty atz smut series. kinda like the idea they’re all connected?¿ like a smutiverse… im a little tipsy rn writing this part. also if u catch mistakes, no u didn’t. kk bye love uou
inspired by a quote from Save Me An Orange by Hayley Grace: what more did you want from me? i gave you my heart my soul my body i let you build a home inside of me but you still went to the store and bought a lighter just to set me on fire did you want to watch me burn?
You’re usually an optimist but it wasn’t until San smashed the vase you bought and painted together at that one arts and crafts store that you realized optimism could only take you so far.
A screaming match broke out immediately. Words bounced off the walls, echoing in your small apartment as fingers were being pointed. He followed you around the entire house as you tried to walk away from the conversation, pinging in your ear like a fly.
San gets emotional when he cares. It was the first thing you liked about him when you first started to talk. How nice would it be to be with someone so well in-tune with their emotions that they don’t why away from it?
If only you’d known it would result in this.
The relationship was done for. It had been for a while. He had been far too busy juggling classes, work, and his new friends who seemed to suddenly fill all the time he used to spend with you. You’d barely even seen him in weeks, and when you did, it was like you were fighting for scraps of his attention.
San’s voice cracked as he shouted behind your head. “You think I don’t know I’ve been busy? I’ve been juggling everything, trying to keep it all together, and you—you—think I don’t feel guilty? You want me to just drop everything? Stop hanging out with my friends? Quit school? What do you want from me?”
He was following you now, not letting you get a moment of peace. You forced yourself to focus on the task of cleaning up the shards, trying to block out his words as you looked for the broom around your house.
“Do you think I want this? You think I want to feel like this? You think I want to hurt you? But you keep demanding more from me, and I can’t do it anymore! I can’t just stop living my life to fix yours!”
“Oh fuck off!” You barked back, finally finding the broom that was in an odd spot in your wardrobe (probably because San had placed it there the last time he used it). You were now growing more annoyed.
“Don’t curse at me! Listen to me for goodness sake!”
Your hands trembled around the broom handle, but you marched towards the vase shards and started sweeping, trying not to hear the poison dripping from his mouth. You had given up on fighting—there was no point anymore. He was too far gone, wrapped up in his own world that was so difficult for him to show up.
“You’re too much, alright?” he spat, his voice cracking with frustration. “I can’t breathe, I can’t think. Every time I try to focus on something else, you’re right there, needing something from me. I can’t fix this. I can’t keep being suffocated—“
You dropped the broom.
You turned slowly, meeting his gaze for the first time, and in that moment, you never felt like this about him before.
“Do you hear yourself?” Your voice was shaking, but it was steady, sharp. “In that whole rant you just forced me to hear, not once did you mention us—not once did you mention me like i’m not in this fucking relationship with you! Not once did you mention all i’ve done for you, and the only time you did was to insult me!”
San opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He just stood there, eyes wide, lips trembling.
You stepped forward as if to challenge his speechlessness, your heart pounding in your chest. “What the fuck are you still doing here then?!”
The room fell silent.
And then, out of nowhere, he tried to reach for you.
It was a movement fuelled by panic if he was truly honest, it was a final desperate attempt to fix things without actually knowing how.
He just knew that he had to have you in his arms and you’d melt. His hand caught yours, pulling you closer, but you yanked it away.
He stepped closer, his breath ragged, reaching for you again with a look in his eyes that was pure guilt you knew all too well.
Your stern face broke when he managed to get you in his large strong arms that wrapped around you.
You stood there, shaking, breathing hard, barely able to hold back the tears.
“Why do you keep doing this to me?” Your cracking voice was muffled against his hard chest.
And then, in his painful silence, he cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours.
You did not stop him.
In fact, you couldn’t.
His next kiss was more desperate and frantic than the last, like he was trying to compensate for all the times he had utterly let you down.
When he finally found the self control to pull back, both of you were panting, faces flushed, hearts racing. He looked at you with a mix of fear, guilt, and longing in his eyes. He wiped your damp cheeks, cupping the sides of your face.
"I don’t mean to," He whispered. “I-I swear, everything I said, I-“
You shook your head in denial, wanting to just shut him up with more kisses knowing if you both talked, you’d eventually argue.
For once, you didn’t want to fight. If the relationship was crashing and burning right now, might as well get one last lick out of it, right?
Metaphorically, and quite literally.
San groaned softly into your mouth, his hands coming up to tangle in your hair and snake to the small of your back as he deepened the kiss with his tongue.
"You drive me insane," He breathed against her lips, breaking the kiss to look into her eyes.
It was true, you always had, in the best and worst ways possible. The feeling was mutual as you stared back at him.
He couldn't resist your pull, the way you were in the moment consumed him entirely. His hands roamed your curves, and reached down to grip your ass firmly as he walked you backwards towards the couch.
You let out a soft gasp, your fingers digging into his waist as you let yourself get sat down with him positioned above you. His knee perched up right between your slightly parted legs.
The friction his knee brushing between your legs sent a jolt of desire straight to your core. He could feel your pulse quickening, and your breath hitching as he sucked and kissed the sides of your neck.
Your hands slipped beneath his black shirt, seeking for skin. With a slight eager tug, he took it off without any argument, revealing his lean muscled torso that you did not hesitate to touch and admire knowing it was going to be the last time.
Instead of letting that knowledge crush you or him, with a low moan, he just leaned into your touch.
“Tell me to stop…” He breathed out, hands on your shoulders to steady himself. He struggled to maintain control as his arousal throbbed against the inside of his zipper.
“Keep going.” You replied in a husky whisper.
With a groan, he gave in to the temptation. His tongue met yours, as his hands slid down to your chest to cup your breasts through the thin fabric of your top, having to bite back a smirk when your back arched into his technique.
Your nimble fingers freed him from his jeans. Unbuttoning, and then zipping down before massaging his hard on through the fabric of his underwear. A breath of relief escaped his lips when his throbbing cock was finally freed.
He helped you out of your top, watching you stroke his impressive length in your hands from above. His hands glided down your back and unclasped your bra, letting your breast sit in all its glory.
He was going to take care of you first until your mouth engulfed him without missing a beat.
“O-oh my god.” His hips bucked involuntarily forward as your skilled hand continued to stroke, the dual sensations of her and her fingers wrapped around his member threatening to overwhelm him.
San’s eyes rolled back as you took him entirely into your mouth. His body weight leaning on his forearms that were on either sides of your head, holding onto the back of the couch for dear life.
Your skilled tongue and throat working in tandem to bring him to the brink of madness. The wet heat blanketing his aching cock was almost too much to bear, each bob of her head sent him more and more over the edge.
"Oh f-fuck!” His mouth hung open as he fisted your hair and fought the urge to thrust deeper.
A part of him couldn’t make sense why this was happening now of all times. He could’ve just taken your desperation to touch him for granted but something about it didn’t feel right.
With effort and a hell lot of focus, San gently stopped you before he could cum. He stroked the side of your face when you looked up at him confused. He shot one of the sweetest dimpled smiles at you.
Seeing that dimpled smile light up your face.
With a hand behind your head, he laid you back on the couch gently. Your hands politely stayed on your own chest, cupping them as you watched his next move.
In one swift motion, he tugged down your underwear with your pyjama shorts and tossed them away.
One of your legs get thrown over his shoulder, and he used his other hand to part your leg wider. His head moved down to your glistening sex and his tongue licked a strip up your folds.
Air got caught in your throat. You let out a shaking deep breath through your lips. His hand on your thigh moved up to your chest, intertwining his fingers with your fingers against your racing heartbeat.
You gripped onto his fingers every time he’d do something that sent shockwaves through your body either with his lips, tongue or his nose. He kissed your sensitive clit, alternating his tongue between that and pounding into your entrance.
“San,” You whined, which only encouraged him to keep going. You tilted your chin upwards, facing the ceiling as tears began welling in your eyes. Unclear if it was the pleasure or the sinking feeling in the out of your stomach.
Then you felt that body shock again, jolting you as you let out a loud moan.
You met his eyes. Those cat-like eyes staring back at you between your legs with laser focus before lazily shutting when he turned his head to the side to lap up your slick arousal from the inner part of your thighs.
He got up and took off his underwear before hovering on-top of you, centring his hard shaft just past your entrance as he supported himself up by the armrest behind your head.
His chain necklace to drop down and dangle in your face.
He gazed into your eyes, reaching down to rub your slick folds once more. He leaned down to kiss you, tasting yourself on his lips as he readjusted his hard dick between your legs. Your hands wrapped themselves in the dip of his waist as your knees pressed against his hips.
“We can’t keep fighting forever,” You told him in a faint whisper.
Leaning down, he distracted you by capturing your lips into a tender loving kiss to slowly pushed in. He felt your teeth on his lip as your walls adjusted to him.
“I know.” Was all he could murmur against your face as a hand cupped one side of your face.
He kept having your lips in between his as he started to move, his hips rolling in a slow rhythm designed to slowly ease into you. Small gasps escaped your lips and you clutched onto his biceps for support while your neck stretched upwards.
“Baby, you feel incredible.” He picked up the pace slightly, his thrusts growing deeper, and more insistent, as he chased the intense feeling coursing through him.
The way your body clenched around his length, the soft gasps falling from your lips.
With your moans of approval, he seized the opportunity to go even deeper and quicken the pace in your wet welcoming heat. He pulled in your mouth for intoxicating searing kisses he couldn’t get enough of.
“I miss you,” You whimpered out the truth between the kisses. “S-so much.”
He snapped forward with new determination accentuated by the lewd sounds of your skin slapping against each other.
He let go of your mouth to focus on your chest. "I'm right here baby." He mumbled over your breasts as he cupped one in his large hands, brushing over your nipples before reaching down to lick.
He alternates between wet kisses and whirling his tongue, aimed to only give you pleasure. In his defence, he hasn't had the opportunity to do this in a while.
You grabbed a side of his face to look into his lustful eyes. “I really did love you.” You breathed out.
“I love you too.” He replied, too entranced by the moment to catch that single word in your sentence.
You crashed your lips against his. The technique of his kissing made you moan loudly into his mouth, and then against his jaw with your eyes shut when he was hitting the perfect spot over and over.
Your body was tensing up tighter and tighter as the pressure of the inside you. You could feel yourself teetering on the edge, ready to shatter into a million pieces at any moment.
“I’m close,” San panted. “Come for me. Come first.”
As a result of his husky words, your walls clench around him, and your climax comes crashing in. One passionate thrust as he buried himself inside your convulsing sex, the intense orgasm shook your entire body violently.
While your final convulsions faded, you slumped against the couch, panting heavily. Meanwhile, San rode off your enjoyment only to abruptly slip out of you before blowing a load inside you without a condom on.
He released himself from your legs that were wrapped around him and hurried to your nearby bathroom, his hard-on in his hands.
You lay there in a daze, trying to make sense of everything, feeling a mix of confusion and shame. You covered your face with your hands, desperate to hide from the reality of the situation.
Slowly, you pulled yourself up from the leather couch to sit up, its surface sticking a little to your sweaty skin, before you reached for your underwear lying forgotten at your feet.
You managed to get most of your clothes back on when he returned. The sight of him—his broad athletic build and that confident stride—distracted you just long enough for him to lean down and kiss you, his hands gently resting on the side of your neck.
You instinctively covered his hand with your own, locking eyes with him.
“Everything okay?” His voice was soft.
You stayed quiet for a moment, the weight of his question sinking in.
He kissed you again, his lips warm and insistent, and for a moment, the thoughts swirling in your head began to fade.
Before you knew it, he lowered himself down onto the floor across from you, wanting to pull you on top of him to straddle him.
“Stop. No more.” you murmured, pushing him away gently.
Your heart pounding as your knees pressed against the hardwood floors when you realised you were already sitting on his thighs.
San sharply sighed, a little disappointed, but he didn’t fight it. He let go of his grip on your waist, and you slowly kicked yourself off him.
The two of you lay on the floor, side by side, your breaths finally slowing after whatever that was. The silence between you wasn’t comforting in the slightest.
He reached for his underwear with his feet, slipping it on slowly, his eyes never leaving you. He was trying to read you, trying to understand what was going on.
You turned your head to look at him. His eyes turned to the ceiling, his expression unreadable, distant even though he was right there.
“San,” you began softly, your voice breaking the stillness. “I think we—”
His phone buzzed, cutting through the tension, and he glanced at it with another sigh. You felt the moment slip away as he got up and fumbled for his phone left in his pants by the couch.
“It’s Mingi,” he muttered.
“San,” you tried again, your tone heavier this time, begging for his attention. But he’d already answered the call.
You stayed on the floor, your chest tightening as fragments of their conversation reached your ears.
“Dude, what? I’m in the middle of… Huh? No, I haven’t heard from her,” San said, his tone sharp but tinged with concern. “She’s been dodging everyone since that night at Yeosang’s when you wouldn’t shut up about your conquests.”
Your frown deepened as you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him. His brows furrowed, his full attention on the call like you weren’t even there.
“Well, maybe you should go check on her then,” San said, leaning back against the couch. “What, come over? Her place or yours?”
A pause, then his expression shifted—confusion, followed by clear exasperation.
San ran a hand through his messy hair. “Fine, whatever. I’ll come over later.” He hung up, tossing the phone onto the floor like it had personally wronged him.
“Mingi needs help with something,” he said it like that was enough explanation.
You stared at him, baffled and angry, “So you’re going?”
He turned to you, guilt flashing briefly in his eyes before he looked away. “I don’t have a choice,” he said quietly.
The words hit you like a slap, but what was worse than the sting was the inevitability that this was always how it would be. You, waiting for scraps of his time, his attention. Him, running off to play hero for everyone but you.
“You always have a choice. You just never choose me.”
Guilt and shame took over his tired expression, “That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” You shot back. “You couldn’t even let me finish breaking up with you before answering his call.”
“What? Babe, it’s not like that. Look, he really likes her and—“
“Save it,” you cut him off, your voice sharp. “Since you’re always serious about everyone else, just go.”
He hesitated, his hand hovering near his phone. “You’re being—”
“Go,” you repeated firmly, tears welling in your eyes but your tone unwavering. “And don’t ever come back this time.”
For a moment, he looked like he wanted to defend himself, or to stay, but then he stood up. He pulled the rest of his clothes back on, grabbed his phone, and shoved it into his back pocket without a word.
He glanced at you on his way out, his gaze searching for something, anything, to make this easier. He convinced himself he’d call you tomorrow, that this wasn’t really goodbye like the other times you both have tried to end it. He didn’t realize how serious you were this time.
He walked past the shards and the broom and left. The door clicked shut behind him.
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the-darkestminds · 9 months ago
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A Dying Flame
Eris POV — my first fic
Heyyyyy friends. I decided to write the two scenes UTM from Eris’s POV where Lucien is being tormented and Eris is forced to watch. It can also be found here. I’ve never written anything before so be nice to me 😭 I took a few lines directly from ACOTAR to set the scene and make it as canon as possible, but the rest came from me. I tried to channel SJM's writing style as best I could. I am trash for Eris so I couldn’t resist. I hope you guys like it 🥲 title is dumb so I might change it. I am eternally grateful for any of you who choose to read the whole thing, I promise it’s not too long! 🙏
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Eris
I stood at the edge of the gathered crowd, struggling to keep the cool mask of indifference on my face as Amarantha once again had Lucien bound and on his knees before her. Would his torment never cease? He had never quite mastered the ability to keep his mouth shut, to leash his tongue until the moment it would best serve him. Lucien’s loud mouth had already cost him his left eye, plucked right from his head by Amarantha herself. Rage coursed through me at the role I was forced to play each day under this cursed mountain. How useless I’d become at protecting those I held most dear. 
Lucien and I had not exchanged honest words in over 30 years. I longed for the chance to speak to him alone, to beg him to hold his tongue so as not to draw Amarantha’s ire more than he already had. Not for the first time, I desperately wished for the daemati abilities the High Lord of Night possessed so that I might speak to Lucien privately. Abilities he was about to unleash upon my brother.  
Beside Lucien stood a small and ordinary mortal girl, likely Amarantha’s newest plaything to torture and discard.
“Her name?” Amarantha asked Tamlin, who didn’t reply. “I don’t suppose your handsome brothers know, Lucien,” she purred.
Give up her name! I nearly begged him. To hell with the girl. Instead I heard myself say, “If we did, Lady, we would be the first to tell you.” The words tasted like poison on my tongue. My brothers chuckled from behind me.
Amarantha only smiled and nodded at Rhysand. He cocked his head, his eyes narrowing slightly on Lucien, who hissed in pain.
I tensed as Rhysand began smiling faintly. Bastard. He was a loathsome, foul bastard. And though I knew he played a role and wore a mask as much as the rest of us, it didn’t stop me from hating him as he held Lucien’s mind in his clutches.
Lucien stiffened in pain. A groan slipped out of him, and– 
“Feyre!” the girl shouted. “My name is Feyre.” 
Lucien sagged on the ground, trembling. Relief shuttered through me, and I bared my teeth and snarled quietly at the girl to disguise the trembling in my hands, my legs. He was safe, for now. And no thanks to me. 
The conversation continued, but I let my mind drift far away. Tried to feel nothing as I attempted to calm my racing heart. I clenched my sweaty palms at my sides and allowed myself a quick glance at Lucien’s prone form. Alive–for now. 
I slipped back into the crowd as they dragged Feyre away. He was alive. I repeated this to myself as the cruelty continued through the night, as it did every night in this miserable place. Alive–as I sipped wine and smiled at the punishment the Attor was inflicting on the poor faeries Amarantha had singled out this evening. Alive, alive, alive a steady chant in my blood as the night wore on.
Alive.
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“Well, Feyre, your second trial has come.” I heard Amarantha smugly announce from her throne at the front of the room. A gnawing dread had been pooling in my gut for the last hour. I could only guess at what new horror she had in store for the girl, but I grew increasingly anxious when I did not see Lucien amongst the revelers. He tended to lurk in the shadows of the room, one eye on Tamlin, ever the loyal sentry. I couldn’t help the low snarl that escaped me at the thought. That Lucien was willing to risk his own life for the Spring Court brute. The faerie next to me skittered away at the sound.
I slowly made my way towards the gathered crowd. Faeries averted their eyes as I passed. It was a relief that I still commanded a modicum of fear from these leeches. Their fear of me was a weapon I wielded frequently.
Amarantha sat proudly on her throne. The Attor at her left, Tamlin braced stiffly behind her on her right. 
“Here, Feyre darling, you shall find your task. Simply answer the question by selecting the correct lever, and you’ll win. Select the wrong one to your doom. As there are only three options, I think I have given you an unfair advantage.” Something metallic groaned at the snap of her fingers. “That is,” she added with a snake-like smile, “if you can solve the puzzle in time.”
I had just gotten a glimpse of the girl when the floor where she was standing began to sink down, revealing a small chamber split in two by a metal grate.
I went rigid as I beheld the figure chained to the floor, previously hidden from view. A loud roaring began building in my head. My skin felt tight and hot as I saw that it was Lucien–Lucien, who would again be part of the night’s entertainment. Lucien wrenched at the chains binding him to the floor. I nearly puked on the throne room floor at the sight of it.
Only the many years of practice in my long immortal life stopped the cry of anguish from escaping me as burning spikes began to slowly lower towards Lucien from above. I was a fool. A wretched fool to think Amarantha was done torturing him. That she would not use his friendship with the girl again and again until she finally broke, or was dead, Lucien along with her. I made to take a step forward but then jerked to a stop. Nothing. There was nothing I could do to stop this without damning us both further. I would be forced to watch in silent agony as Lucien was slowly and painfully crushed under the weight of those red-hot spikes. 
I stared and stared at Lucien, only vaguely aware of the girl flailing and panicking in the chamber next to him. This was some new level of hell. My nightmare brought to life, one that I could not wake myself up from. 
“Answer it!” Lucien shouted, his voice hitched. My eyes burned, and I felt a cold drop of sweat begin to drip down my spine. Only sheer force of will kept the practiced smirk on my lips. The spikes lowered further.
“Just pick one!” Lucien shouted. He strained against the chains, panting frantically, eyes wide.
My brothers around me laughed gleefully, and I forced myself to join in, the sound a pitiful rasp in my ears. I was grateful that the crowd around me was thoroughly distracted by the horror unfolding before us. That they could not hear my pounding heart or the screaming inside my head as those molten spikes lowered another inch closer to Lucien’s body, helplessly chained to the floor. This was the true torture. Not the painful lashes I’d so often received from my father for disappointing him in one way or another. Not the loneliness and fear that threatened to crush me after so many years navigating the snake pit of my father’s court. But this. Forced to stand idly by as my loved ones were killed. Forced to hear the fear in Lucien’s voice as he begged the girl to just pick a lever and be unable to stop any of it.
“Feyre, please!” Lucien moaned. The terror in his voice nearly brought me to my knees. And yet I stood there like a statue. Maybe this was my punishment for being so useless. So worthless. I desperately wished I could take Lucien’s place. That it was me chained to the floor. I deserved it.
I held my breath and shut my eyes as the girl finally reached for the third lever, bracing myself for what was surely to come. 
Silence. Then–a sigh. From Lucien. 
I opened my eyes at the sound and choked down the sob building in my chest. The girl, Feyre, had actually done it. By dumb luck or fate, she had saved them both.
I did not stay to witness Amarantha’s reaction to the girl besting her once more. Could not stand to be there a minute longer. I turned, not seeing any of the faces around me, desperate to escape the swirl of both panic and relief pressing in on me, threatening to swallow me whole. I could not fall apart, not here.
I stumbled away to the back of the throne room and kept walking until I was alone in a darkened passageway, the sounds of jeering and wicked laughter slowly disappearing. I leaned heavily against the nearest wall and emptied the contents of my stomach onto the floor. My eyes and throat burned and I let out the broken sob I had been holding in. I would allow myself one minute to fall apart, away from prying eyes. Just one minute, and then I would return to join in the merriment of those who had cheered as my brother had nearly been killed again.
I breathed in the damp, cold air of the mountain, my body shaking silently as I sunk to my knees. I listened to the drip, drip, drip of water on the stone floor and used it to slow my quaking heart. When the minute was up, I stood. Tunneled deep down inside until I could barely feel the rage and sorrow. I brought the smirk back to my mouth–it was second nature after all these years. I took one last deep breath, and turned back the way I had come. I had been gone too long, and these caves had eyes and ears that were always watching, always listening–always reporting back to her. And though Autumn Court fire burned in my veins, I forced my heart to freeze over, as cold as Kallias’s ice. I let that ice flow through me as I walked back–as I blocked out the despair that fought to drown me with every step I took. Until I was no one, and nothing. 
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A small part of me was aware that I was in shock. I drifted through the following day as if underwater, not fully hearing the words spoken to me or how I responded. Through it all, I made sure to keep the haughty mask on my face. Only when I spotted Lucien across the room did I feel as if I had come up briefly for air. Our eyes locked, and Lucien’s mouth tightened in displeasure. He held my gaze, emotion flickering in his right eye–there and then gone before I could decipher it. After a beat he looked away and was promptly swallowed up by the crowd.
I knew Lucien despised me. It was written on his face whenever he deigned to look me in the eyes, and I let him believe I felt the same. As much as it pained me to do so, I treated him as if he were nothing to me, no more than trash to be discarded. I hated myself more with each passing day–was at risk of being consumed by it entirely and slipping deep into the burning pit of fire within me. It was sheer defiance against the bitch queen that prevented me from doing so. The hope that I might one day see Autumn again. So many years trapped down in the dark were wearing heavy on my soul. The steady fear that I would fail those I sought to protect slowly ate away at me. What I’d give to breathe in the crisp, cool air of home, to walk amongst the red and gold leaves that sparkled like jewels in the dawn light. I held on to the hope that I would one day return. Tucked it deep down inside where it flickered softly, the aching pain in my heart its only companion.
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crazylittlejester · 10 months ago
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Something which I'm really suprised about is the fact that nobody has come up with a story for Warriors that's basically the princess locked in a tower guarded by a dragon trope.
Like, the Chain in general tend to fit fairytale princess stories. Wild and Sky are quite literally Sleeping Beauty, Wind is basically The Little Mermaid but reversed and Hyrule and Time are very much Snow White in a different font and people acknowledge that but I've never seen anybody put Warriors in the classic fair maiden formula which genuinely suprises me because he's literally just that specific trope if the princess had a sword.
Imagine a story where somebody, say Artemis if we're going for the most basic play on this trope slays a dragon (WE HAVE A DRAGON! VOLGA!) and then came into the tower being like "hey yo. What's up? I heard a certain fair hero needed rescuing?"
I think this might just be my love of Links with classic fairytale tropes like the poisoned apple or sleeping curse talking but COME ON! You can't tell me that Warriors doesn't give you that vibe because this trope is basically an extremely toned down Helen of Troy story without the Trojan War 😭😭
Oh man.. I just keep finding ways to make Warriors suffer. First it was Sky and now Warriors has joined.
The little parallels between them and classic fairytales are really cool! I haven’t really ever thought about the fairytale aspects of it too much, but Warriors is definitely this world’s equivalent of Helen of Troy, which is an essay post I will have to write once I have the time to sit down and get really into it.
The mental image of Warriors as a damsel in distress up in some tower guarded by a dragon is an absolutely beautiful one. I imagine he’d be more like Fiona from Shrek where when the help finally comes he’s like “Excuse me?? You’re doing it wrong! Ugh! You’re supposed to be my one true love!!! 🥺🥺🥺”, because as traumatized as I write him, he really is a bit of a drama queen and I adore him for it.
(You’ve awakened in me an urge to write something of a crack shrek au after I finish my big hero 6 au, and I’m sitting here cackling at the possibilities I’ve just been awoken to see)
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ma-lark-ey · 9 months ago
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WE’RE BACK BITCHES.
Okay so, I’m currently in finals hellscape. In the interest of reading this as fast as possible, I have therefore forsaken complete unabridged liveblogging in favour of giving more quotes/in depth thoughts rather than screaming into the void (thats what my boyfriends dms are for)
Anyways;
CHAPTER NINE:
Oh they’re watching Jeopardy… Love you sm
Jean relearning social cues. Autism. Real footage of him at USC
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Cat is planning several murders as we speak. i love her. Also COOKING BESTIES. TEACH THAT WHITE BOY TO COOL ALVAREZ HELL YEAH.
oh they’re about to learn about the fuckass schedule.
“To show that we can still have fun and excel without resorting to poison.” Jean’s having an eye opening evening fr
Not to concern everyone ever for my wellbeing but me and my boy’s dynamic is so jerejean coded.
The Trojans are going to tear their hair out trying to explain to Jean that food is not, in fact, an inconvenience but is, in fact, something necessary to life that should be enjoyed and savoured.
fascinated by whatevers happening between Jeremy and Bryson. studying them like bugs.
Hold hold hold on with Jeremy’s blond now… oh we’re SO committing to the golden boy black cat vibe
Gene Moore 💀💀💀
THE FAKE FRENCH. CAT YOURE PERFECT NEVER CHANGE GIRL
“You’re as socialized as a stray dog” STOP
Jeremy’s so big brother coded.
GRABBED HIS CHIN??? AYO IS THIS SAY YES TO THE DRESS OR SAY YES TO THE—
theyre sooooooo.
Jean really did have to reboot his entire brain seeing Jeremy blond, huh? gayass.
CHAPTER TEN:
Oh. my god.
Jean fr out here not knowing how the fuck to respond to anything.
the implications of this. I. Jean…
HIM JUST LISTING OFF FACTS OF GRAYSON OBJECTIVELY?
Respect Cat’s response to Jean hitting Laila actually. All three of the Trojans are quickly realizing how in over their heads they are & Jean is having to figure out that he’s NOT in danger. sobs.
“He could sense the others’ presence even if they weren’t around to bother him, and that was enough to take the edge off the loneliness eating at his heart.” theyre his friends…
I’m literally obsessed with the cardboard dog.
FIRST TEARS OF THE BOOK! “At least keep it down. I’ve got to be on the court in two hours,”
Jean it is okay to have boundaries. I. sighs so heavily. Please go to therapy.
CHAPTER ELEVEN:
“This heinous crime was committed against you, against all of you, but you’re not angry about it.”
“if you say it was your fault, i’ll trip you.”
oh yeah. its all coming together.
AYO LUCAS WATCH YOUR MOUTH
“They shouldn’t have said yes when you asked.” “I didnt ask.” OW. OW OW OW OW OOWNCSJSBSB
God.
“You are not them. Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.” SCREAMS. OKAY THATS FINE
BETSY!! BETSY!! BETSY!!
CHAPTER TWELVE:
Finally someones looking into the fucking Ravens HOW did they get away with this 😭💀
I just know with such certainty Kevin has not been sober for several days. Guaranteed.
Jeremy & Jean is literally SOOO unstoppable force meets an immovable object. tell me im wrong.
I need to stop watching anime. archetype terms from anime infesting my brain whole reading this like a parasyte get out of my HEAD.
(Hi besties. It’s been two days. Curse my catholic liberal arts school making me put Jean Moreau in a drawer to make presentations on Protestant Fundamentalists just to remind my class about cults. Bro I have better cults (re: the Ravens) to read about)
“Do not let it bother you,” Jean said, setting his racquet aside so he could finish getting dressed. “It will not affect my performance on the court.”
“That’s not the issue. Your parents are supposed to love and protect you, not—“ Jeremy gestured helplessly toward Jean. “I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine what that was like for you.”
“Imagine getting changed so we can practice.”
Jean be so fucking real with me right now you did not 😭😭 boy got JOKES does he???
Jeremy is so gay for Jean its so cute I love them
“As your captain and your partner, don’t I at least deserve the chance to not be a villain in your story?”   "You are
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A lot of Jean’s trauma responses are gut punches. A lot of what we’ve learned of him rips out your heart the second you read it. But his speed showers is something that grows more and more haunting the longer you think on it because like… A shower is supposed to be a comfortable resetting place at the end of a long day. It’s supposed to be somewhere to allow an emotional release or catharsis. There’s a reason showers are so often used in poetic ways. But even that simple act of cleanliness or hygiene has been stripped from him. That little ounce of dignity is not something Riko allowed him. Not something ANY of the Ravens allowed him. And I just…
THE RESPONSE TO LISINSKI SHOVING HIM IM GOING TO DIE.
Jean, anytime he’s near water:
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(its not funny I’m crying about him this is me coping)
“That meant some part of Jean understood that what had happened to him was a monstrous crime.”
Cat & Laila actively accommodating Jean’s food restrictions instead of trying to force him to completely unlearn his mindset overnight. They’re so important
Jean keeping the notebooks and magnets and postcards is something i feel viscerally in my soul. I understand him so implicitly I’m concerned.
Thank God someone in this series finally has a FUCKING GAYDAR.
THE FLOOZY LINE??
“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.”
CAT. YOU REALLY JUST SAID THAT HUH.
LESBIANS !!!
So sad we got no Jean reaction to this commentary. I just know he was frog blinking at them.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Jean: oh. oh this bitch is *gay*. how do we feel about that brain? complicated? Yeah. Checks out.
Jean is so real for just having no social skill whatsoever. Me too.
Cody why are you so oblivious. HE’S RUBBING CIRCLES ON YOUR ANKLE? stop.
I am not living, laughing, OR loving.
JEAN CHECKING WITH CAT ON IF CODY WAS SAFE? lays on the floor and cries
The dynamics between the Trojans is completely perfect and amazing in every way shape and form. Also Laila & Cat literally picking Jean up like a rescue pitbull <<3
The Trojans are the KINGS of petty.
TRANS KING TRANS KING TRANS KINGS
Jean be out here just like “Oh thats chill” at literally all of the queerness surrounding him but then be out here like “No *I* cant be gay because thats *wrong*” sir what is happening in your lizard brain.
Jeremy being patient in re-teaching Jean less aggressive techniques >> the coaches recognizing Jean is attempting to do better >> he’s just a GUY.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
Jeremy is going to teach this man to have fun even if it kills him
Impromptu intervention I LOVE them. THEY SOLVED THE RIDDLE !!
“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”
It wouldn’t work, but it did. Jean opened his eyes to meet Jeremy’s stare. “I told you not to ask me about him.”
I am neither living, laughing, nor loving
“Be careful with it.” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.” “I’m trying.”
JEREMY KNOX LOVE OF MY FUCKING LIFE
the hug….
can we cuddle pile 2.0 right now gang. please.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
“I am not a Raven.” NO THE FUCK YOURE NOT BABY BOY!! HELL YEAH !!
YES JEAN. Beat his ASS Jean
“You are lucky to have lost him.” PREACH JEAN
Lucas and Jean’s conversation is HAUNTING because you KNOW Lucas is piecing it together but wont admit it until he hears it
Jeremy’s family is FASCINATING
(hi. so. my commentary for chapters 16 & 17 did not. save.
HOWEVER!! I'm going to make another post that's literally just TSC but all the quotes I highlighted, so... Instead tak this vague reeanactment of what ti should have been;) LUCAS DO NOT. LUCAS SAY SIKE.
god. *head in hands*
Rhemann is the love of my life. He's perfect. No notes.
SHE'S DEAD????
Wymack call... I was not ready.
"That's illegal, just so you know."
Never change, Josten
"Do you have anyone who can take on local work?"
NEVER CHANGE, JOSTEN
*slowly lays flat on the floor* okay this is fine.
peace out. Until next liveblog
Lark Liveblogs Literature: THE SUNSHINE COURT BABYYYYY LETS GO JEAN
to begin: THE COVER???
The fucking NARCISSUS/DAFFODIL. Stop stop stop. Nora stop. She said it wouldn’t be a sun but I WASNT READY.
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RESILIENCE. FIRST BLOOM AT THE END OF WINTER. NEW BEGINNINGS AND REBIRTH.
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warning in advance for how many reaction images will be in this post. Miss Nora Sakavic has a way of making me unable to verbalise how devistated I am so I turn to goofy photos.
Also, just so we’re all on the same page:
it’s 1:20 AM. My roommate IS asleep. I am fighting the demons (downloading this book) but i am winning (it is queued on my kindle)
ITS DOWNLOADED LETS GO
Okay so context is that my Kindle is at 10%
I tried to go to bed and read this in the morning but I am
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SO NOW I HAVE FRANTICALLY FOUGHT A WAR (figured out how to get this book) AND I AM READY FOR BATTLE (to cry over Jean)
ONE, TWO, THREE, LETS GO BITCH!!
Also my kindle cord is too small for me to properly lay in bed so im literally about to lay on my stomach kicking my feet like a middle schooler WISH. ME. LUCK.
CHAPTER ONE:
oh we’re jumping right in okay. god. hi baby :((
OH. I am just adding onto my #1 Riko hater agenda right now.
“The golden rule— not where the public can see” DIE. LITERALLY DIE TETSUJI
“The lack of broken fingers this time” THIS TIME??? JEAN. JEAN.
im so.
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RENEE!!!
“and he had wasted them texting Renee a heads-up.” Nora please we’re only four pages in bro
Renee i love you im marrying you please give me a kiss. Mwah Mwah Mwah. She said “Bitch. Lay back down.”
currently also reading a batshit raven!neil fic and just. on the ground. about all of this.
stop the way I literally went “who the fuck is Nathaniel” Im too transgender for this.
Me, seeing the Abby content we need in this world:
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Jean dont call that hellscape home bbg
Renee beating self worth into this man. ily
“Jean couldnt remember the last time he was allowed to wear color” LITERALLY KILL ME
Nora I need you to be less good at describing pain please and thanks
NOT THE BITING
DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK!!
he fr be moving this man like a doll. love you wymack
tied him up with racquet laces I. h. lays on floor softly crying.
NOT THE DADDY ISSUES
Jean fr out here plotting 50 ways to kill his brother. he fr though Neil was the problem. no girl Neil just has no tact and autism rizz. Kevins the fucking snitch
no one:
Jean @ the Moriyamas;
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“that man is years overdue for a head-on high-speed collision” YOU TELL EM DADMACK
CHAPTER TWO:
Jean please just sleep like a normal human man. God.
Even Jean be out here like “Kevins a little Chihuahua ass drama queen. Bitchboy. Wet cat man.”
Kevin: look, bro, if the 5’3 twink with enough daddy issues to make riko blush and chugs ‘fuck around and find out’ juice for breakfast can escape the moriyamas and not die, so can you.
Testuji. Testuji when I catch you. Tetsuji
Jean what the fuck makes you think anyone but Andrew Minyard will ever tell Neil what to do. Girl.
“If I am not a Raven, who am I?” A MOTHERCUCKING TROJAN BABYYYY
“I have to go to my next class.” I forgot they were in college deadass. Neil is straight up my age im gonna throw up.
Okay. It is. *checks time* 3 AM. I cannot keep my eyes open, which means i must put Jean away for sleep.
ITS IS NOON THE FOLLOWING DAY. I HAVE SLEPT. I HAVE TAKEN MY MEDICATIONS. TIME TO HYPERFOCUS BABY.
KINDLE SAYS WE HAVE 8 hrs 27 mins LEFT IN THIS BOOK. IM SAYING GOODBYE TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I’LL SEE Y’ALL AT DINNEE TIME. ITS JEAN TIME.
Hiiiiiii Thea….
“Good morning, Paris.” Now, the average man will see this as a reference to his frenchness. but real ones know Paris is prince of Troy, the man who married Helen of Troy & started the Trojan war.
do y’all think Jean has a french accent wait wait wait. obviously itd be very slight at this point but is it there. necessary question.
Assessing Thea like a fucking state exam right now. Neil could not have cared less about your ass I am gaining so much information
Hate of my life Riko moriyama.
CHAPTER THREE:
JEREMY FUCKING KNOW HI BAYYYBY
the way I literally got up and had to pace and stim for a moment even though I fully expected this. autism. my roommate is concerned. not really. she’s used to this she watched me read TKM and dramatically reenact the Ichirou Car Talk.
wow??? AFTG team actually seems happy and well-adjusted and friendly with each other??
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Random Note: I’m currently watching Blue Exorcist & one of the main characters is a girl name Moriyama and I’m literally just sitting here like “This girl is way to nice and innocent to have that name.” Because she literally is the nicest girl to ever exist. Why is she cursed with the same name as my mortal enemy (Testuji)
“Tonight’s experiment was the icing on the cake, an invaluable experience no matter how it ended.” Jeremy, my love.
He has empathy… Never before seen footage. Y’all get the cameras!!
He’s so shaken about Jean,,, holding you so gently Jeremy. Here as a guy who knows nothing at all about Jeremy since I’m. so new here. but god.
Jeremy: are you sure a Raven can abide by Troja—
Kevin: Bro Jean is so pathetic he’s a bottom fr. He never disobeys an order
Jeremy: I. Okay you didnt have to say it like that, bro.
I will literally never stop respecting the Trojans strat in the final they really said. “If these fucks can win the championships with nine players, surely we can.” and then willingly got their asses handed to them.
“Xavier stumbled when he got the next serve off, and the Fox guarding him gamely hauled him back upright before running for the ball. It was a simple gesture, but it endeared Jeremy to them” I dont remember if this bit was described in tkm so i’m going to guess that’s Nicky or Matt. Aaron would fucking never.
Nah because like. Yes this proved to the Trojans how resilient the Foxes were, but it was also a message to the audience, yk? Like we know the Foxes were getting shit for their quick rise to the top after they pulled their shit together, but I personally think that the Trojans did this both for their improvement & for Foxes’ publicity. This game proved to the public at large how devastatingly *good* the Foxes were, because of their small size. The second best team in the league crumbled playing the same conditions the Foxes did *every game* and got to championships with. They proved that Foxes were, in fact, a D1 team who earned their keep.
oh hes got daddy’s money. Well. not. officially. yo what I mean.
“it was always best to have a paper trail” Neil Josten would have an anuerysm hearing those words.
Bye Jeremy I’m. Love you so much. Why do you feel like a sixty year old man in your early twenties.
“between seven and twelve students.” yikes.
“unfamiliar and accented voice.” I WAS RIGHT I FUCKING CALLED IY HES GOT AN ACCENT BABY FUCK YEAH
“you ever feel like— like you’re making a choice you cant come back from? But even knowing everything could go completely sideways, you’d make that choice every time?” okay so coming out allegories i could make aside, Jeremy is so… where to start with him. He reminds me of Percy Jackson. Endlessly loyal and selfless to the point its a bit stupid but endearingly stupid.
CHAPTER FOUR:
Okay so we’re alresdy hateflirting. noted.
Its also extremely sunny today in Podunk Hicksville where I live so it feels very On Brand.
“Jean had seen that smile in a half-dozen broadcast… He could picture it too easily, and he dug his fingernails into his own face in vicious warning.” Awww you think you can best the gay worms in your brain. goodluck with that Johnny.
“isn’t that reason enough to keep living? To rediscover simple delight one moment at a time,” keeping this quote for eternity
“enough sunlight to chase away Evermore’s shadows. They are willing to take a chance on you. Aren’t you?”
Kevin Day autistic king. taking this hesdcannon to my grave .
“the conspiracy theorists were working overtime” no girl they just aint stupid.
THEY DESTROYED HIS POSTCARDS…
CHAPTER FIVE:
I want to start keeping record of all the times Jean is like “[name] wasn’t decent enough to [thing]” because its SO funny. We LOVE a petty king.
also keeping track of all the insults he throws at Neil.
Neil likes to think he’s SUUUUCH a loner boy no friends angsty “dont speak to me” resting bitch face ass motherfucker. In reality he is a jack russell terrier — ceritifed jack russell owner who’s dog thinks hes soooo big and bad but said dog literally cries when you dont let him in the bed or say hi to people on the street
Jean is SOOOOOO dramatic 😭😭
Jean: Why would you let Kevin do this.
Neil: let him?? He did that on his own.
Jean: you’re proud of him for being a problem, arent you?
Neil: oh you fucking know I am, bitchass
“but other than his outstanding murder charge there was nothing interesting about that Fox.” i’d consider that very interesting information, Jean. Youre just deranged
“with milk, juice, and vodka dominating one shelf” that’s Aaron, Nicky, Andrew/Kevin in order. Im correct.
“There was an entire drawer dedicated to cheese.” Yeah that sounds like Nicky.
“Half the drawer was full of mini candy bars. Jean threw them all into the trash” bro Andrew is going to kill you in cold blood and not even Neil can save you.
Jean is SO dramatic. Give him Kevin’s crown.
Jean @ Neil during the final: ARE YOU WITHOUT INTELLIGENCE????? ARE YOU STUPID??? DO YOU WANT TO DIE??
Seeing the media coverage of the championship is the food I needed thank you Nora for this. I am eating it up. om nom nom
The sportscasters referring to athletes with their first name is batshit. What. why. huh. Absolutely not.
CHAPTER SIX:
Renee protecting Jean from discovering Riko’s death through media & not through them…
Everytime boys start fistfighting in this series I hear Roxanne from Megamind. “Ladies, ladies, you’re BOTH pretty.”
a) Jeans reaction to finding out was exaclty what I expected
b) I’m FASCINATED to know who called campus security. Jeremy?? Renee?? Someone in Fox tower???
Neil was gentle with someone other than Andrew? I didnt know he knew how to do that…
NEIL. NEIL JOSTEN. YEAH BABY
HES ROOMING WITH CAT AND LAILA??? YES YEA YES YESY
the Jean-Renee dynamic is so fucking important to me. MLM/WLW solidarity. theyre besties.
THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME BRO.
Literally snuggling Jeremy
Oh he’s got Fox potential. Hiiii Jeremy. Give me the traumadump bbg
THEY/THEM??? DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME OR IS THIS AN HONEST TO GOD THEY/THEM PLAYER OH ILL CRY. ILL CRU RIGHT NOW
CHAPTER SEVEN:
Oh Jean. you’re about to have such a gay awakening babe i can feel it in my bones.
A FUCKING YOYO??? I LOVE HIM
“A mite bit hecked up” PLEEEASE JUST SAY FUCK /ref
OH HE WAS IN LOVE WITH KEVIN. INTERESTING INTERESTING INTERESTING.
autism coded lookingg motherfucker (stares at Jean.)
The chaos of Cat and Laila’s house is so fucking cute. Its about to be two lesbians and their distrustful pitbull rescue in this bitch and im ready for it.
CHAPTER EIGHT:
watching normal people discover the cult that is Evermore. Finally someone having a normal response to that madness. What the FUCK.
wait theres actually a cardboard dog i thought it was fanon joke.
oh my god there is actually a fucking cardboard dog. i.
jeans brain just got actually shattered by this living room. he cannot comprehend this.
Cat & Jeremy, realizing the cult rumors are real: I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING! I thought it was joke! I even wrote it down in my diary! “Kevin made a very funny joke today!” I laughed at it later that night!
Okay, last night; I went to bed at 2:30 AM 45% through (college my beloathed). we’re back in business.
Jeremy is so disturbed all of the time. goofy ass.
“Loving something is not enough,”
“When was the last time you enjoyed playing?”
“ Irrelevant.”
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Whats his shirt look like Jeremy. Jeremy whats the shirt look like. Jeremy. Whats the shirt look like.
Okay so I’ve reached my image limit for this post and I dont have fun reaction images on my laptop. so now I will post this & reblog with the rest of this book.
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punkpandapatrixk · 2 years ago
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Scorpio Fucking Things Up For Me
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In spite of my first ever post on this blog being actually an introduction to a story called ‘J’s Lute Tavern’, do you know why I’ve not been able to publish even just a chapter thus far? The extreme abundance of Scorpio energy surrounding my 5th House (house of creative expression) keeps ruining my cute stories!
This one time I was developing a super short story (working title: Cosmic Co-Incidence) about a Japanese runaway girl who got scammed in China and became a ‘karaoke girl’ then she met a high-ranking police officer from Hong Kong who was so charismatic, polite, a tad cruel, speaks both Canto and Mandarin (smexy), and rich dude brought her to a safer life in Hong Kong and they were supposed to have a cute romance revolving the cultural and personality differences and language barrier and live happily ever after or something silly like that. Then, as I was filling in the details, Mr Psycho—I mean, Mr Pluto—just had to steer the wheel in an entirely differently direction:
Police dude got killed in action whilst chasing a dangerous case involving an extremely powerful triad boss and the girl was already pregnant and now she didn’t know what to do and she didn’t wanna go to jail nor go back to Japan so she decided to jump off a fucking building. THE END. What. The. Fuck.
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I swear that was the LAST time my patience got tested! After that, I worked really hard to surround myself with a lot of cutesy stuff so I would avert the Poison of Mr Psycho. Honestly, it's not helping much because those Scorpio placements in the 5th House just have to to be squaring my 8th House placements which is literally the Scorpio House itself LMAO😈LMAO👹LMAO🤡
😭😭😭
I think I'm cursed😔My life story is plenty dark and dreary. At least I wish my fiction would be cute and cheery. Alas, Mr Psycho wouldn't let me go🤦🏻‍♀️Well, anyway let’s just say I intend to write something legendary, so… I won’t be in a hurry🥱
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sunflowerharrington · 3 years ago
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bestie PLS PLS GIVE SONG RECOMMENDATIONS??? I’m desperate for new music.. everything sounds like noise T-T
SORRY BUT THIS IS THE BEST ASK I HAVE EVER GOTTEN I SWEAR!!!
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i absolutely love doing this!
so these songs are what i’ve been listening to recently;
- high school sweethearts by melanie martinez
- sex with my ex by lil peep
- boss bitch by doja cat
- thru the night by jack harlow and bryson tiller
- maniac 2000 by ruaile buaile 🎉😭😭 this one is a joke btw i’m not getting you to actually listen to it
- thot shit by meg thee stallion
- hallucinate by dula peep
- drive by wes nelson and clean bandit
- comme toi by tayc
- redbone by donald glover
- heartbreak anniversary by giveon
- hrs and hrs by muni long
- boyfriend by dove cameron
- she’s all i wanna be by tate mcrae
- fine line by harry styles
- show me how by men i trust
- heartless by kanye west
- i bet you look good on the dancefloor by arctic monkeys
- pink + white by frank ocean
- billie bossa nova by billie eilish
- honesty by pink $weats
- tú by maye
- supermassive black hole by muse
- loving is easy by rex orange county
- pluto projector by rex orange county
- hello? by clairo
- ok by wallows
- are you bored yet by wallows and clairo
- mind games by sickick
- poison by brent faiyaz
- confidence by raye and maleek berry and nana rouges
- twisted by missio
- easy by dani leigh and chr*s br*wn
- first class by jack harlow
- hypnotize by the notorious big
- breed by nirvana
- lounge act by nirvana
- come as you are by nirvana
- oxytocin by billie eilish
- fuck everyone but you by cheat codes
- all for us by labrinth and zendaya
- as it was by harry styles
- she by harry styles
- softcore by the neighbourhood
- the less i know the better by take impala
- deviltown by cavetown
- underground by cody fry
- she’s my collar by gorillaz and kali uchis
- see you again by tyler, the creator and kali uchis
- sweetest pie by dula peep and meg thee stallion
- tear you apart by she wants revenge
- potential breakup song by aly & aj
- burning pile by mother mother
- hayloft I & II by mother mother
- je te laisserai des mots by patrick watson
- brutal by olivia rodrigo
- wild by troye sivan
- my my my by troye sivan
- boys by lizzo
- wild side by normani and cardi b
- s&m by rihanna
- pov by ariana grande
- parents by yungblud
- smells like teen spirit by nirvana (had to hid this song in here somewhere lmao)
- rhinestone eyes by gorillaz
- little dark age by mgmt
- prefontaine by versatile (for all my dubs out there xoxo) and also ketamine by versatile. don’t @ me!
- teenagers by my chemical romance
- love on the brain by rihanna
- sweet dreams (are made of this) by eurythmics because how could i not recommend this song?
- could’ve been by her and bryson tiller
- boo’d up by ella mai
- shot clock by ella mai
- god is a dancer by mabel
- sociopath by olivia o’brien
- begin again by taylor swift
- fuck it i love you by lana del rey
- 505 by arctic monkeys ❤️😭 favourite song ever
- ilomilo by billie eilish
- nintendhoe by doja cat
- 40 shades of choke by ari lennox
- while we’re young by jhené aiko
- sativa by jhené aiko and swae lee
- love language by queen naija
- no idea (don toliver) remix by dj purpberry
- 3 nights by dominic fike
- cupid’s chokehold / breakfast in america by gym class heroes
- sparks by coldplay
- freaks by surf curse
- jealous by eyedress
if you want my playlists i can send them to you, babes!
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