unattainablesillygoose

[unattainablesillygoose]

I can't recommend this one enough. It was one of, if not the actual, first fics I read of this ship, and it SUCKED me in. I love it. I squealed, I cried, and it twisted my belly into delicious little knots at points. Definitely will be going back to reread!

Chapters: 34/34 Fandom: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield, Fíli (Tolkien), Kíli (Tolkien), Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Bombur (Tolkien), Dís (Tolkien) Additional Tags: all the dwarves - Freeform, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Cultural Differences, Background Kíli/Tauriel - Freeform, Gift Giving, Language of Flowers, Flower Crowns, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Bilbo Remains In Erebor, Slow Burn, Miscommunication, Podfic Available Series: Part 1 of The Mushroom Mine Summary:

There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.

[unattainablesillygoose]

BILBO AHSGAJAGAJ

Finished this redraw out of sudden. 《Commissions open》

[unattainablesillygoose]

[unattainablesillygoose]

What is this?! I'm crying 💀

I'm currently testing the limits of my antidepressants by rewatching Breaking Bad

[unattainablesillygoose]

W parents

Fav drawing you've ever made ? :D

probably this artwork that i did for ‘classics but make it gay’!

because a) they’re my OCs, b) it’s a recreation of a raja ravi varma painting, and c) my dad got a massive print of this incredibly gay painting, framed it, put it up on our dining room wall and now my parents show it off to anyone who comes home 😆

[unattainablesillygoose]

[unattainablesillygoose]

She's got secret ptsd

Belle: Can I tell you a secret?

Snow: I wouldn’t recommend it, no.

[unattainablesillygoose]

Hook is actually rep for hot disabled people

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My mom said we should watch the extended editions together so I can point out more evidence supporting my bagginshield claims

this always happens btw.

[unattainablesillygoose]

another good time to post this

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So all I have to do is go steal a goose and then it's mine? Consider it done.

haymitch core

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[unattainablesillygoose]

Okay, picture this:

The battle is over. Everyone lives. Thorin and Bilbo are engaged to be married. Bilbo has to leave to tidy up his affairs in the Shire while Thorin has to stay in Erebor to be, y'know, king.

As the days and weeks and months pass, Thorin gets grumpier and grumpier and grumpier. It is becoming INCREASINGLY obvious.

One day, while Kili and Ori are talking to one another about the issue, Thorin stomps past growling about the Council and Kili decides enough is enough. So he says out loud to his uncle, "The Council isn't the problem. You're just missing Bilbo. You two just need to bone when he gets back."

Ori whimpers. Thorin stops dead.

"What did you say?"

"Don't say it again!"

"I said you two need to bone."

Ori: gulp

Thorin: "Hoooooow DARE you, Kili, son of Dis. I am your ROYAL SOVEREIGN!"

...5 minutes later...

"BONE!"

[unattainablesillygoose]

Wdym? This actually happened. They're all alive and well 🙄

What if Thorin was really fine and he didn't pass away and he just took a long nap and he and Bilbo got married and Fili and Kili survived and were only pretending and what if I wasn't going insane? What then?

[unattainablesillygoose]

Methinks I'll write this.

Okay, do any of the people on here have good bagginshield fics where Bilbo just straight up brags in the Shire?

Like 'oh queer Baggins my ass Lobelia, talk to the heavily bejewelled hand while I ride in on a silken interior carriage' or 'yes, thank you for noticing Lobelia, I could buy the Shire twice over if I so wished too'. Where's my 'Ah I see you've met my husband, KING OF EREBOR'

Give me a little salty bitch, I know he has it in him.

[unattainablesillygoose]

Shut up. It's canon now.

Dumbass thought:

Bilbo stays in the mountain. He still communicates to his family in the shire. He regularly talks about them to thorin + company and other dwarves end up overhearing a few things, specifically about his cousin who’s having her 6th kid.

Cue the dwarves being so confused, becuase what does he mean?? Dwarves are lucky to have one child never mind six. And Bilbo goes on to talk about how hobbit families are really big and how they have the blessing of yavanna.

This however get miscommunicated around the mountain and the dwarves start to believe that hobbits can bless fertility. One darrowdam goes up to Bilbo to ask for his blessing for a child. She has always wanted one but she has never been able to carry to term. Bilbo doesn’t realize what’s happening yet, so he gives his blessing. He checks up on her during the pregnancy, giving her special teas and foods. (This just makes the rumours worse, as the dwarves believe that this is some kind of ritual) She carry to full term and gives birth to a boy.

And volia Bilbo becomes the patron saint of fertility in the mountain. He is confused. Kili and Fili are in awe, their uncle is a god. Thorin is smug as fuck, especially after a couple of elves hear about this and travel to the mountain for his blessing.

Bilbo gets a fierce guard of darrowdam warrior who would defend the consort until they die. Every babe that gets born under bilbos blessing considers him 1/4 their parent. He loves all of them. Fili and Kili have to fight for his attention