two-blinking-eyes - Tumblr blog

[two-blinking-eyes]

sulat

Sir naisip ko lang na sa mga nangyayari ngayon, mas naging idol kita hahaha, hahaha as in mas naging inspiration yung katatagan mo para tumuloy at galingan pa sa mga gawain aaaa kasi kung ikaw pinaghuhusayan mo diyan sa situation mo ngayon, mas paghuhusayan ko pa dito. dagdag pa dito yung gustong gusto kita, at isang araw babalik ka, at sobrang saya non!

ang saya saya ko pag kausap ka, pag kasama ka. ngayon lang talaga to sa buong buhay ko. walang ibang nagbigay sakin ng gantong pakiramdam, at wala na kong gusto pang iba magparamdam sakin ng ganto kasi sapat ka na sir. ikaw lang talaga. kampi tayo sir foreverrrrr

sir, nung sinabi mong mahal mo ko, grabe sir gusto kong umiyak. Sa mga nagsabi sakin niyan, ngayon lang ako naniwala (bukod kay mommy). Akala ko dati walang ibig sabihin yan, akala ko sa pamilya ko lang mararamdaman. pero sirrrr binasag mo yon. Ganto pala yung pakiramdam.

[two-blinking-eyes]

ang dapat na caption ng dp ko

Akala ko talaga OA lang mga tao tuwig nagkukuwento sila tungkol sa *Exchage Experience* nila (oops hahahaha joke lang 1/2), pero hindi talaga.

Bukod sa mga bagong kaibigan mula sa iba’t-ibang bansa, mga nabuong mga alaala, bukod sa mga masasarap na Japanese food (kahit sa Yoshinoya lang naman ako kumakain), higit kong nabigyang halaga ang mga Pilipino.

Ako lang kasi ang PIlipino dito sa school, kaya medyo mahirap, pero di ko inakala na dahil dito mas lalalim ang aking pagmamahal sa Pilipinas.

Ang dami pala talagang Pinoy sa Japan, at marami akong nakilala sa aking mga paglilibot. Sa bawat Pilipinong nakilala ko, nawala nang dahan-dahan ang pagka-miss ko sa Pilipinas, dahil na-realize ko na ang bayan ay hindi lamang nakikita sa lugar, ngunit mas makikita ito sa mga tao.

‘Kay nanay na nakatabi ko sa pila papasok ng isang temple, salamat sa mga payo at tips sa Japan. Alam ko pong lalaki ang apo niyo na katulad niyong masiyahin at matapan.

‘Kay ate na nagtatrabaho sa Taco Bell sa Jimbocho, salamat sa mainit na ngiti at sa pagbati sakin ng “hello kuya” noong nalaman mong Pinoy din ako. (favorite ko pa rin talaga ang Taco Bell, sana meron na sa Katip)

Sa mag-asawang Japanese at Filipino na nakilala ko sa Philippine Festival, napatunayan niyong hindi hadlang ang wika sa pag-ibig.

Pero sana ituloy niyo ang pag-aaral ng Japanese, pati na rin ng Filipino, para naman hindi puro charades ang usapan niyo hahaha

Salamat din po pala sa 1000 yen. Sorry po na ginastos namin sa hal-halo at hindi sa beer, tulad ng sinabi niyo.

Sa St. Ignatius Catholic Church sa Yotsuya, at sa mga nakakatabi ko sa simbahan, salamat sa pagiging pangalawang bahay ko dito sa Japan. Kahit wala akong nakilalang Pilipino sa dinami-dami nang pumupunta sa simbahang ‘to, ang ganda na marinig kahit minsan ang tagalog

Sa lahat ng mga Pilipinong nagtatrabaho at nakatira sa Japan, saludo ako sa inyo. Patuloy pa rin ang laban natin para sa makataong conditions sa ating bansa, upang hindi na mapilitan ang ating mga kababayang mag-abroad at mawalay sa kani-kanilang pamilya.

Sa kasaysayan, patuloy nating ipinapakita na hinding hindi magpapatalo ang mga Pilipino. Nilabanan natin ang mga Espanyol, Amerikano, Hapon. Nilabanan din natin ang diktaduryang Marcos, at marami pang iba. Ngunit sa kabila nito, hindi pa rin napapawi ang apoy sa ating mga puso — ang apoy na nagtutulak sa atin upang ipaglaban ang ating bansa, ang Pilipinas, at ang mga Pilipino.

Nakita ko ang apoy na ito sa mga mata at puso ng mga PIlipinong nakilala ko dito sa Tokyo, pamilyar at kilala ko ang apoy na ito dahil nagbabaga rin ito sa akin.

[two-blinking-eyes]

nakita ko lang sa notes idk ano context

Para sa mga umagang puno ng tawa,

At sa mga gabing kabilang ka sa saya

Para sa mga panahong mahirap na,

Ngunit pinili mo pa ring sumama sa laban patungong ginhawa

'Wag kang mag-alala.

Di ka namin malilimutan.

Padayon, kasama!

[two-blinking-eyes]

pa-cool na somethig in german

di ko na alam ibig sabihin nito  Mein Traumberuf ist Orgelbauer wie mein Vater.

Ich plane und entwerfe Orgeln.

Ich muss jede Teil funktionieren sicherstellen.

Ich sicherstelle die Klangqualiät von die Orgeln.

Ich helfe und berate unsere Kunden.

Ich muss den Bedarf von unsere Kunden lernen.

Ich will diese groß Musikinstrumente wahren.

Ich will bleiben die Orgeln lebend in die Herzen von Leute.

[two-blinking-eyes]

tula para sayo

di ko alam hahaha di ako proud dito pero mahalaga ay para sa’yo to isang araw tatlong kubo tatlong hakbang sampung libo dalawang tokwa dalawang barbeque dalawang sitaw isang gabi dalawang gabi tatlong minuto isang puno anim na “dapat ituro” pitong kwarto eight classes isang boses isandaang lalakad isang tanghali four minutes two calls isang pasalubong

[two-blinking-eyes]

Sa Ngayon

Sa mga drawing sa mcdo gateway ko na lang muna aaninagin ang malapad mong kamay na tumangan ng sandata

Sa mga litrato mong pinadala ko na lang muna sisilayan ang mata mong nasaksihan ang kagandahan ng kabundukan

Sa mga makukulit mong kwento ng pakikipamuhay na lang muna ako mananaginip gabi-gabi

Sa mga delatang binili mo na lang muna ako sasandig sa mga pangakong tinupad

Sa mga tula mo tungkol sa malayo na lang muna ako kukuha ng tapang at gilas

Sa mga sinulat mo na plano sa gula-gulanit na papel ko na lang muna aasahan ang pagbalik

Sisiguraduhin natin, kasama

Na sa ngayon lang ito

Titibayan ang loob, lalakas ang buwelo

Tutuloy ang laban para bukas ay wala ng sa ngayon.

Dahil b’ukas ay may katiyakan na, b’ukas ay darating na ang harana.

[two-blinking-eyes]

Paalala

Nasa loob nga pala talaga ako ng isang rebolusyon

Nakupo sa jeep papuntang mendiola

Mahangin ngunit paso ng init ng galit

Maliwanag ngunit pansin ang dilim ng paligid

Kalmado ngunit nakabibingi ang pagbadya

Hindi na pwede ang tulad ng dati

Ngayoy nasa pangil ng panganib

Takot, kaba, walang katiyakan ng bukas

Pero tutuloy lang. Lalaban.

Dahil para sa’yo laging gagalingan.

[two-blinking-eyes]

last

went

by

so

fast

everything is hard, but it just

goes

by

so

fast

jeepneys, busses, tricycles just

go

by

so

fast

a bed, a table, a closet, three doors

go

by

so

fast

credits, units, grades, numbers are

going

by

so

fast

signatures, pools, cameras, shoots

go

by

so

fast

hands, movies, laughter, cars are

going

by

so

fast

last few things are

going

by

so

fast

things are just

going

by

so

fast

very fast

so

fast

and here just praying

that

they

would

hopefully

last

-s.e.e.

[two-blinking-eyes]

Confused [rambling]

(sorry for mixed povs i got confused very confused) ~woosh~ (that’s time turning back if you can’t tell)

Oh, look! It’s gradeschool me. Oh, don’t look. I’m chatting with a friend and using “xD”. The horror! Look at me - I’m there chatting away without a care in the world. He doesn’t care about the future. He doesn’t even think past next week - much less about high school, or college. Oh, how the times have changed. 

~woosh~ (this time, we’re going forward in time)

We’re about to start Junior year and since gradeschool, there has been talks about college and courses and degrees and those scary monsters. He still doesn’t know where he wants to go for college or what he’ll be taking. He wishes someone would force him to go to this university and study this field, just so he could have an opinion on this matter. Can someone force me to study in UP or La Salle or Ateneo or whatever? I don’t want to decide! I don’t want to be held responsible for my failures! I want someone else to blame! His friends are all talking about college even if it’s like three years away and all of them seem to know where their life’s headed. They all seem to have it all figured out. Wow, and I thought we were all in this together.  

We’re at home and mom tells him that he wants to have an Atenista. Finally! Everything, the brain, the nerves, the hans, the eyes, the heart, locks on to the words “Ateneo de Manila University”. Everything seems to have a purpose now -a goal in mind. Everything I do, I do it so I could get in Ateneo. I will do everything in the best of my ability just to get in that school. Ateneo. Ateneo. Ateneo. Ateneo! LUX IN DOMINO!!!!! ATENEO ATENEO FIGHT FIGHT BLUE AND WHITE!!!!! (thats my body)

~woosh~ (still moving forward)

Ateneo. Ateneo. Ateneo. I know I didn’t want to go to Ateno in the first place but now I would do anything to get in! He finally has the application papers for Ateneo! He got his UP papers first, but he acoomplished it very quick, because why would he pass UP? lols. and anyway he’s going to Ateneo, why would he bother with UP? So Ateneo, what courses do they offer? Oh! “BS Communications Technology Management. Perfect for those managers who understand the creative process” This is perfect for him! He wrote this down on the form. Its time for the essay. Something about an accomplishment or important event in life... I’ll just think about this during the week. I want this essay to be the best essay I’ve ever written - all for my admission to Ateneo!! Weeks passed and I still couldn’t think of anything to write about. Then it hit me - all the things we do in life - even the smallest and the seemingly insignificant things affect our lives very greatly. So I wrote about that. It took me a few days but I finally finished it. I sent the application form and got my test permit. Only one more hurdle to pass ‘til I get to Ateneo - the ACET. 

Sure, I attended a review class but all it did was scare me even more. I read forums online and they said that ACET was the hardest CET they ever took. I read inspirational blog entries, read Chicken Soup for the Children’s Soul, prayed and finally the day came. It all went by so quickly but I remember every detail of that school. Every brick, every pillar, every tree. The test started and I answered as fast as I could - A, A, B, C, B... four time six is twenty-four times the square root of pi equals... “closeyourbookletsandputdownyourpencils” ... A, B, D, C, E, E, A... sixty seven equals the area of the distance of the circumference “IF YOU DONT PUT YOUR PENCIL DOWN I WILL SEND YOU OUT OF THE ROOM” WHAT SHIT NO DONT OK THE PENCIL IS DOWN IM SORRY IM SORRY PLEASE ADMIT ME TO THIS SCHOOL PLEASE PLEASE I BEG YOU I WANT TO PASS THE ACET PLEASE PLEASE MAKE ME PASS PLEASE I WANT TO PASS - and I did, but I didn’t get to see the bricks I memorized, the pillars I counted and the trees I smiled at. 

~woosh~ (ipassedtheupcatwownicegoing)

“...what...yes but what i’m sorry but I know yes I know it’s a privilege yes I know its an opportunity and i must get it yes but I don’t really yes i know but my degree program no i dont want to shift yes but its too much work but i like my degree in ateneo, why not, but you said you wanted, but i did my best, but i passed the acet, yes i know i passed the upcat but the acet i passed the acet i passed the acet im going to go ateneo ateneo fight blue and white i passed the acet...” 

“oh. okay. i understand. its alright - at least, it will be.”

~woosh~

Oh, look, it’s his fourth week in UP! He seems to have adjusted and knows his way around. He seems to do alright in his classes so far. He’s seems to be alright - I know he will. (I’m sorry im trying really hard to love UP. It’s only the fourth week and I can feel that theres a UP fire starting in my heart - even if it’s just a spark, it’s enough to ignite a flame. I know UP will mold me to be a well-rounded Filipino who will serve his country. I believe in it. As for my Ateneo dreams, I’ll see what comes my way. Maybe we’ll see each other again in the future.)

[two-blinking-eyes]

-s.e.e.

[two-blinking-eyes]

Englufed in darkness

Sometimes

Staying up late

Is fun because

you get to see darkness 

when you're alone

in your room.

--

Darkness isn't all that 

scary

It became a friend

sometimes it

will comfort when you need

it the most

--

Before you first

opened your eyes

darkness engulfed your world

--

Darkness keeps coming back -

missing it's old friend - 

so it comes when we blink

Just a fraction of a second

is what it needs to be with us

it misses us

and maybe 

we miss it back.

--

So we come back to it 

You know,

In the end

when the ground falls 

and we will 

once again be

engulfed in darkness.

- s.e.e.

[two-blinking-eyes]

Hidden Thoughts

A big day today,

My leader would hear,

All I need to say,

Things I’ve done this year.

Do I look okay?

Is my speech alright?

Guide me, please, I pray.

Blue, red, yellow, white.

I greet the party,

They’ll get an earful.

Hope they’ll stay lively,

Won’t think I’m awful.

A big day today,

I can’t wait to hear,

What he needs to say,

Convince me this year.

I know I’m okay.

Is he even alright?

Guide him, please, I pray.

Red, Blue, yellow, white.

I reply, “Hello.”,

And then I lean back.

Ready for the show,

Of the golden plaque.

- s.e.e.

[two-blinking-eyes]

the best time

petals in the breeze

new sprout on the earth

loud cries from the mouth

big smile on the face

bright sun in the eyes

crushed heart in the room

wise words from the heart

a hug from behind

brown leaves on the ground

loud bells in the air

long walk on the aisle

a kiss and farewell

white snow on the grass

goodbies from the heart

soft cries from the mouth

faint smile on the face

- s.e.e.

[two-blinking-eyes]

stOp aND LoOK ARoun D

stop And look around

ask Yourself

are you Trapped?

do you Feel free? happy? 

...

open?

are you Sure you’re Not 

trapped? Sad? 

...

closed?

you Must get Out

now

before It’s too 

L

 a

   t

    e

Before you get Trapped

before you turn To dust

before You wither and

d

  i

   E

is it Open?

or is It just A mirage

a Trap

A trick

to fool You

To lure you

Into Its

c l u t c h e s

check Again

and again

And again

you Must

stop And look Around

- s.e.e.

[two-blinking-eyes]

Kaya

Pagmulat ng mata

Para sa

matayog na puno

halamang mapagkumbaba

Kakayanin

Unang mga salita

Para sa

simoy ng hangin

agos ng dagat

Kinakaya

Pagbukas - sara ng kamay

Para sa

samyo ng bulaklak

lambot ng damo

Kinakaya

Unang mga hakbang

Para sa

mataas na bundok

malawak na patag

Kinakaya

Pagtakbo

Para sa

malayang ibon

leong matapang

Kinakya

Pagpikit ng mata

Para sa

init ng araw

lamig ng gabi

Kinaya

-- s.e.e.

[two-blinking-eyes]

I don't

I like 

How she never gave up

How he always laughs

How she jokes around

How he is very kind

How her anger is somewhat

funny

How he talks How she followed us

How he relates to us

How she loves what she’s doing

I still don’t want I don’t want to leave

No, please.

Don’t make me- us leave. I love the people. I love everyone. Not when it’s starting to get fun Not when I’m starting to have fun

Now when we’re almost there

We’re so close Don’t lose it. Please keep it.

I still don’t want

2 more years to come. I don’t want to leave them. The mentors are sure But I can’t leave us I can’t. We must stay together. Just, please. We are here So let’s enjoy this.

Please,

2 more years to come I still don’t want.

I’m scared of growing I’m scared of going out I don’t know I do not know Yes 2 more years But after that. Please no. This year’s been tough

but fun, challenging

but great, hard but it made me happy

I still don’t want

I know we must be prepared. We all knew this was coming We all knew We just don’t admit We just don’t talk

about it We just don’t

Because we shouldn’t

We’ll just make a mess

Messy, messy mess. Unclean happening - an event I still don’t want

It’s a quiet war Between 

what’s to come and what is right now

No one does. Nothing Seeing the smiles Seeing the tears and fear

behind - like a Mask, A very colorful mask A mask so extravagant To get a high score - 100, 50, 0. Different kinds, beauty and score The best one who hides.

Yes, I know It’s not the best

The best, the great, 100. But it’s enough

for me

to make me happy

make me satisfied

for a short while

before the fear

and mystery awaiting

after 2 years

I still don’t want.

- s.e.e.