twentyonephandomsjksuperluv-blog

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aye boi

o i have friends??

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h

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FRICK

i like soft tums and i can’t deny

and also curvy thighs

we love soft arms in this place

look at this squishy face

and just CRY

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i have a lot of lingering 2009 feels. 

more phan doodles X

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I just want to be as happy and loved as Dan and Phil are and maybe life wouldn’t be so heart aching.

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idk

Really funny and sad how happiness flies by but sadness feels like it lasts forever, but I crave happiness,

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THERE WAS THIS LIKE 25-36 YEAR OLD LADY, SHE GOT OUR BOX IN THE MAIL, SHE BROUGHT IT OVER, YOU DON’T KNOW HOW CUTE SHE WAS, SHE IS MY SEXUALITY.

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i just wanna be happy

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Not the usual if I was even usual

Can’t even stay positive knowing one day society will judge me for not wearing makeup and I’ll kill myself cause It takes me an hour to put it on but I’m ugly and fat without it fuck you society.

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It’s just sad people actually feel this way. Sad people get beaten by their own minds thIS MUCH. That they aren’t even holding on to inspirational quotes. They don’t even see why people think they should live. No, they haven’t gone through your shoes, BUT IT’S WORTH STAYING I PROMIISSEE!!! MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY! Please stay. For yourself. Not anybody else. You are down in the dumps, but you can also feel amAZINGLY HAPPY!! Just wait, it may take years and years and years, but it WILL GET BETTER AND YOU WILL BE VERY HAPPY YOU DIDN’T LEAVE!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

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Its just really sad to hear of someone dying even if its just one person because, it might seem like there’s billions of people, but every soul is unique and different and no soul is the same to any other in any way, and then that thing is GONE. That unique thing that could do anything it ever wanted, and only have to be controlled by itself, and can’t be controlled by anyone or anything else, is truly gone and we will never EVER know what they thought about. Their possibly life changing story is now FOREVER gone. It’s just a thing to think about. pleasee stayyyy 

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this prolly means nothing srry if it takes up too much of your screen

This is basically how I threw away my razors, some stuff from me, and me explaining a bunch or insanely inspiring quotes for yall i have horrible grammar ajfja So my mom cleaned my room while I was at school, but she decided to leave me to fix my closet. She told me a million reason why she’d appreciate it if I cleaned and made me feel sorry for her, then she left. I sat in my closet, crying because I needed distractions from my brain, but she took my laptop, so I decided to begin cleaning. I picked up a blanket, and I saw a razor glistening in the light, and I started to panic so I stared at it, I was too scared to touch it. So really quickly, I threw it out the closet door and just sat there staring at it, I was just scared and staring. I picked it up, and my hand just basically put it to the hole in my jeans, my brain was focused on my skin, my fingers lengthening my skin so it’d be easier, I realised it was getting close, so I threw it back. And I was just basically insanely scared; I told myself that this is horrible and I shouldn’t be scared of myself, so I told myself I was going to throw it away. But I told myself I was going to need it again. But I told myself, ‘no you probably won’t’ But I told myself, ‘what if you dooooo thoo’    ‘you might need it in a month maybe’     ‘maybe you need it right now’     ‘you probably won’t ever do it again tho, but just in case.’    ‘no you aren’t goi-’     ‘but jusT IN CASE I SAID!!!’    ‘NO YOU AREN’T EVER GOING TO NEED IT AGAIN YOU MENTALLY DISEASED SMOL BEAN’     And so I sat there basically repeating all these words in my brain, and I decided I was nEVER going to need them again. Not maybe. I won’t. So, my triggered bum decided to fight it, and get out my black box with my razors and other stuff just in case my mom opens it or my sis or whatever, and I opened it, immediately closed it and threw it. In a few minutes of telling myself those words again, I went downstairs, got some tissues, came back up, put the blades in the palm of my hand, covered them up with the various tissues I had, turned the tissue into a ball, ran downstairs, and I’d like to say I easily threw them away, but I was slightly hesitant, so I decided I was just not going to think, and I shoved them in the trash.  I ran upstairs and was just proud of myself while cleaning my closet. -I-don’t-wanna-cut-myself-ever-again- I am nOT going to cut myself ever again. I mean, if I wanna get better, I gotta try.and I know it’s very hard for some people to try, but you gotta do something.  If you have a “friend” that makes fun of you and uses you and steals your stuff and humiliates you when you say no, but constantly tells you she is your friend, she is not. GET RID OF HER. And you may think, ‘but shes the only person I have!!’ NO. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON YOU HAVE. AND SHE IS TRYING TO BEAT THAT PERSON TO THE GROUND AND MAKE YOU HATE YOURSELF, AND MAKE FUN OF YOURSELF, and basically do everything and more to you until, you feel like you are the most toxic person in your life. NO. You should never have to be afraid of yourself. If dancing makes you happy, dance silently in your room. If having the curtains open makes you feel an emotion diffrent from the usual, open them halfway. If you are so weak you don’t wanna try anymore, just get out of your bed every once in a while and walk a lap around your room. If there’s a person in your life that you want to stick around, but are scared of them not wanting you, ask them questions. If playing with a bouncy ball makes you forget your worries, play with it. If somebody calls you something you know you aren’t, or it shouldn’t be a problem to them at all, Its like being chubby but still being called straight up FAT. You can either choose to let that effect you, maybe get a disorder, cry every night, miss out on food, miss out on life, excetra excetra, or you can choose to say, ‘I’m not fat. I’m healthy, and I love myself, and the people who I love, and the people who love me, don’t care if I’m a bit chubby, then why should it matter to me anyways! They probably like the fact I can make myself happy by eating a doughnut every once in a while!” If you have a big mole, it shouldnt matter. If you have balding hair, it shouldn’t matter. If you are naturally skinny, it shouldn’t matter. “You are a human with one life and it is up to you to make it the best life you can.”-Daniel Howell “Do whatever it takes to be happy”- Daniel Howell  “Use your smile to change the world. Don’t let the world change your smile”.- Shane Dawson “Do what you do, do what makes you unique, do what makes you happy”-Sean McLaughlin “Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look past the imperfections”-Gerard Way “Push yourself to do new things, go out of your comfort zone. Just do things that you enjoy, things that you’ve always wanted to do”-Christian Novelli(?) “Pancakes”-Daniell Howell These quotes are insanely inspiring. You know why? Because you always say you can’t live like this forever, and thats right. THATS EXACTALY RIGHT. SO MAKE A CHANGE. If you cut, you are insanely stupid. But only because there are so many things you could be doing besides that. It seems like you cut if you have just given up on yourself. Its stupid because the scars could stay forever. You won’t be able to get jobs from shallow bosses, you will always feel insecure about them, shallow people won’t date you, and you’ll wear long sleves, and you won’t feel that safe with the sting and regret the next morning. EVEN IF It’s just trying on cute dresses you like and twirling in them, do WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE HAPPY. IF black clothes make you feel like you are hiding, change them. IF looking into the stars makes you feel happy, it may be small, but its a change. DO IT. “You’ll never know where life is gunna take you. You’ll never know where your life is gunna go, but you’ll never figure out if you end it”-Shane Dawson “DO IT. JUST DO IT. DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS.”-Shia Labeouf  Exactaly. Make your dreams be reality. If you want to say hi to somebody, do it. If you know you don’t reeaallly wanna cut, don’t. If you want to be in a band, but think it’ll never work out, why waste the opportunity? YOU ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE AT LIFE. Don’t let it go to waste by cutting and letting your mind take you over. You are only the best at being yourself, don’t let this mental illness get its way. “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not”-Miles McKenna “I feel really happy as me and i wouldn’t change anything for the world”-Miles McKenna “Normalness leads to sadness”-Phil Lester “You’re all very beautiful for spacious skies, don’t let anyone think you’re not”-Joey Graceffa “Learn your weaknesses and fears, embrace them, and then nobody will be able to use them”-Sean McLaughlin “They laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at them because they’re all the same”-Felix whatever the fluck his last name is (pewdiepie) “Be yourself. Don’t worry about what other people are thinking of you”-Phil Lester “I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone”-Ed Sheeran “I don’t wanna hate myself anymore”-Shane Dawson Don’t change yourself. People will criticise you your whole life because they don’t like one thing about you. Be yourself. I don’t care your religon, race, sexuality, identity, or even if you hate your chubby belly. BE YOURSELF AND DON’T LET ANYBODY TAKE THAT RIGHTTT AWAY FROM YOU!!!!! You’re unique. Thats amazing!! “Storms don’t last forever”-Sean McLaughlin “Everything is going to be alright. Maybe not today, maybe not tommorow, but eventually”-Sean McLaughlin “Treat depression as if its a storm. Yeah, it can get brutal and even scary, but if you hang on and keep fighting, the sunshine will come back. It always does.”-Greg Onision “Know this, you can start over each morning.”-Tyler Joseph “Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind”-Tyler Joseph “Theres always a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dim it may seem”-Adam Dahlberg “Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end”-Ed Sheeran (ok im getting emotional) “Broken crayons still color”-Mark Fischbach IT WILL GET BETTER for me and for you and even though we might be broken, If you strive for happiness and do “whatever it takes to be happy” you will eventually be happy, and even if you don’t wanna right now, might as well do the little things so it’ll be easier to go all out when you are ready. It’s sickening to me the fact that at times I AM SCARED OF MYSELF. I don’t want to keep living like this even though I at the same time want to go deeper into it so MAYBE somebody will care. But instead of wanting somebody to care, MAKE THEM CARE, not by going on a killing spree, but sharing your story and helping whoever it takes.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT. YOU ARE NOT. All the posts next to this useless one are people going through horrible things as well. It’s ok to cry. Its ok to close your eyes for a moment. It’s ok to have this illness, BUT it’s not to hate yourself for feeling it. SO TELL YOURSELF HOW AMAZING YOU ARE IF NOBODY ELSE WILL.  “Celebrate your minor victories no matter how small they are. It’s important.”-Daniel Howell  I CARE ABOUT ALL OF YOU AND you might be thinking, ‘how tf does she care about me she doesn’t even know my flucking name’ I care about you because you look at the news “20 ppl killed in car crash” you might think, “oh its only twenty”  no. ITS TWENTY UNIQUE LIVES THAT COULD’VE DONE ANYYTHING twenty unique lives that could’ve made others or evEN THEMSELVES happy twenty people that go on totally diffrent paths then the others. I love every one of you sufferers and ending your pRECIOUS LIFE means that one amazing beautiful person is now gone. They can’t do anything about it. Gone. And they’ll never be able to change anybodies lives, including their own, EVER AGAIN. Do this for yourself. Not me. I’m kinda young but I wanna change lives from early on because this REALLY SUCKS and if I can makes somebodies day happier, then thats amazing. I TRULY LOVE YOU ALL. 

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OMG THIS IS AMAZING

Heathens // vocals and piano only.

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u all suck yay