togetherwearestronk-blog

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

Trigger warning: All sorts of disgusting. Not for those with a weak stomach.

This is a documentary about cutting open an obese person to see whats on the inside. I mean if you click the video it tells you all you need to know anyways. 

I watched this a couple days ago and it left me feeling off. Like.. Motivated, disgusted, scared and intrigued. Not specifically in that order either. I’m making a post about it because I think its something people should see. It gave me a feeling of mortality, which I guess I lost at some point. Like a wow I guess death is real after all sorta feeling. It also made me feel really disgusting.. which isn’t positive but that’s the fact. 

I’m not saying you have to watch it but maybe you should, its pretty eye opening. If anything watch it for the medical science of it.

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

May 18.17

I died, I guess.  I haven’t updated this blog since.. well.. March. Let me update you on the past 2 months and we’ll get right back into it then.

A summary:

     I flew home for almost 3 weeks. I ate plenty of take-out, but I also went out and hung out with my long time friends. I did not count calories the entire time. It was probably bad because my diet was pretty much pizza and whatever else that I missed so much. I bought and consumed plenty of chips and chocolate. When I came home I measured myself at the end of the month like I do and was surprised to see that I actually managed to lose some inches. I guess I kept myself kind of in check after all. I also consumed far too much alcohol but eh that’s all done with now.      I came home and I didn’t resume counting calories, nor did I walk my miles for a while. On my first walk back I was pretty surprised at how out of breath I was at 3 miles. Fuck, all that progress, undone. Measured myself again, very little decline.     

I’ve got to measure again in 10 days. I can’t have let myself stagnate like this. Begrudgingly I am powering up this blog again. Keeping myself accountable helps, even if I don’t think anyone is watching.

Goals:

♦1400-2000 Calories. ♦Walk 4 miles a day... probably. ♦Get a job. ♦Learn to drive

Until I get good shoes, goal 2 may be a bit of an issue. I already walk 4 miles every time I do go out, but I also sport some blisters and I risk putting myself out of commission if I’m too reckless. Last time I went ham I got shin splints and wowie, no thanks. That and the past few walks have been me stressing over my life and its not been fun at all. Points 3 and 4 are related to this. -- Now, thinking out loud about calorie deficits.. My app that I use to track how far I’ve gone is called MapMyRun. I think its pretty good except that it tells me that the 4 miles I walk burns about 900cal. I don’t believe it to be entirely accurate but say it is for this moment here.  If ate 1400 cal that day, and burned 900 with that alone.. I imagine I wouldn’t be fairing too well in a couple days. Hmm.. Its just when I actually try to eat right sometimes I don’t even make it to 1200 so..

These are just my thoughts on the whole thing. I’m sure on days where I do walk I won’t be eating the minimal.

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

Mar 8 + 9.17

Its these two days right here, these two bad days I didn’t really want to admit to, these two days are the reason I made this blog. 

March 8th was rest day. I was recovering from some serious leg pain. I was okay coming home from the walk, but the in the evening my right foot was cramping, and it was a weird pain. I’ve had foot cramps all my life, it was the same muscles but they were crying a different tune. My left leg had shin splint symptoms, and by the evening I was limping to avoid that pain too. The pain + the loneliness I was feeling, I cried. All’s good now.  If I’m being completely honest, I ate a whole lot of garbage. I listened to those fucking cravings. I did not calorie count. -2 Bologna sandwiches -1.5 servings of M&M’s, i think -2 lemon snap cookies -A shitty prime rib sandwich from a gas station -Most of a bag of Lay’s sour cream & onion chips -A few Doritos -Some beef stew If I were to roughly estimate, I’d say thats gunna total up to abouttt 3300 calories. GOOD JOB FUCKING UNDOING THAT 5 MILE WALK, ASSHOLE. Where those chips worth it? Maybe. They were fucking DELICIOUS. Am I ashamed of myself for being a glutton? Absolutely.

---

March 9 wasn’t supposed to be rest day too, but it turned out that way. The shin splint pain was still there in the morning so I took it easy. So I did nothing. What I ate was still garbage, just maybe a bit less of it. -The rest of the chips. -Beef stew -Dark Chocolate I remember having some need for munchies but ultimately I was too lazy or something. Its funny because the 9th is more of a blur than the 8th. 

Haha, I really don’t know what to say. I don’t have an excuse. I wonder if I’m being too hard on myself. Stronk, how can you think you’re being too hard on yourself, you just inhaled 2x bags of chips in 2 days, and also you didn’t work out at all? Sounds like you’re just creating a hug box for yourself. Well, inner voice, I say I may be hard on myself because its not even been 2 whole weeks yet from when I decided to fix shit up for good. Of course I’m going to fall on my ass, and rather hard too because not even two weeks ago I wasn’t getting up to work out every day, and I ate worse. I didn’t get to 290 overnight, and these bad food habits go as far back as when I was a child. Looking at my track record for trying to lose weight, I would always quit if I fucked up really badly. These bad days just now, these two gluttonous days would usually be where I stop. I’m going to keep walking as often as I can, and eat okay as often as I can. Maybe one day these junk food days will be less frequent if I’m persistent enough.

I thought about leaving those two days out, but if I’m being honest with myself, those are the days I need to write about the most. Besides, I’d only be lying to myself. 

Goals for the 10th:

Take it easy on the calories. I’m making pizza tonight so it might be pretty easy to go over board, but I got this fam. Also go on a walk. The winds are daunting but I didn’t go for 2 days and my legs are stiff. Perhaps its also time to add some planks and push-ups to the routine. While everyone hates leg day, I hate arm day.

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

March 7.17

Good morning Tumblr, hope you’re having a pleasant day. Personally, I am not. I feel awful. Just kinda sad and lonely. I’ll be okay of course, but that is my current mood. 

Walk: 5.2miles. Complimentary shin split and foot cramps. I am proud of myself but I think that March 8 is rest day, at long last. I may still go out, but not record how long I’m out. Going outside so often has been really great for my mental health. I get all this time to think, and I don’t feel alone, just by myself with nature. It rained the whole time i was out, and I loved it. I think with how I feel I desperately need to get outside and disconnect, but even now my feet are protesting, so I’ll listen to them. They don’t even hurt, its just.. they are just saying no. Food source

Canned chicken soup - 360 cals Cookies, and M&MS - 1100 ish. Beef stew: ???? Didn’t do the math. I’ve been eating sweets. I am in the snacking mood. I have to g et through this, but I don’t know how. I don’t have the physical energy to say no to sugar today anyway. We’ll see how it goes. I barely have any M&M’s left. How badly can I fuck this up?

God, I am tired. 8+ hours of sleep + unrelenting loneliness today = no bueno.

I should just learn to be comfortable alone, depending on people to always be there for me is seriously hurting me. 

Have a good day Tumblr! 

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

March 6.17

Today’s walk was 4.6miles. I’m going to try for 5 miles tomorrow.

Food products include:

Peaches n cream oatmeal - 260 cal Lemon snap cookies - 60 cal Cookies I found in my drawer -400cal Pretzel mix thing. -300ish cals Burger King (I’m sorry body,) - 1900 cal. ... 2920 cals. ahaha FUCK! Don’t follow this blog thinking I’m not going to fuck up like every other day. I’m a 1 step forward 1 step back kind of person. I’ll probably be trying to lose this weight for like 4 years or something.  I’ll update this blog every day even if its shitty days like this, calorie wise. Honestly,  Even though these shit days are pretty frequent right now, I don’t feel at all discouraged. I feel like I’m doing it right this time. I guess in a sense that makes this an okay blog?? I feel like people show their successes and maybe hide their mistakes a whole lot. Like for example, a person loses 100 lbs in the span of 2 years. That’s super super impressive. They tell you they ate healthy, and worked out. But you probably don’t hear too much about their 1 week binge they may have had on 6 different occasions.  or the 87 different times they busted their calorie goals by a mile. I’m not saying everyone is like this of course, its just kind of nice seeing all the flaws too. It might make someone who thinks its impossible see that its really not. Weight loss, and getting fit is mostly a persistence thing. You fuck up you move on, you do great, keep going! Time is going to keep going whether you do something or not.  --- Goal for March 7: Try and make it a 5 mile walk. It is a rainy day, so I’ll still settle for 4 miles if its too cold. as I write this entry at 6am, I can still feel my feet protesting a little because of yesterday’s 4.6 mile walk. I’ll also do my best to not eat like shit. Also making beef stew. I really like soups.

Have yourself a good day Tumblr!

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

March 5.17

I walked 4.20 miles, blaze it.  I’m so exhausted as I write this. Perhaps I’ll sleep the whole day away again soon. Haha I’m always so tired. It’s not really a mystery.. but I’m not doing too much to fix it. I’ll just have to deal with the lethargy until I can fix  my situation. Food substances of the day: -Oatmeal, the blueberries and cream kind -260cal. -Chicken soup ????? -4x Lemon snap cookies -120 cal -5x bacon strips - 150cal -Cream of mushroom soup.. from a can - 300cal. -Pita chips, probably 400 cal. -An orange 100cal... who even cares. fruit. -a bell pepper, salted. - ???????  How do I calorie? I’m not overly hungry, but.. I can imagine this will be a problem in the future. I have to spend more time trying to reach a caloric goal. Perhaps that would be easier if I wasn’t poor as all hell. I could always work up my calories with snacks, but that seems stupid.

Tomorrow will be a better day, Good night Tumblr!

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

March 4.17

Today might have been the worst, walk wise, but a few things did go well. 

Pat on the back for the following: Eating 2 cookies and not inhaling so many more. Forcing myself outside when I didn’t want to.

The walk of the day was short, and not even sweet. I didn’t even hit 2 miles, but in my defense I went out with as much optimism as I could manage. I was .. blown away by the cold air. Weather says -9°c? I say -15°c. It’s a big drop when you’ve been feeling +10°c the days before. Oh well, tomorrow will be better.

Food consumption:

3 or so bowls of chicken soup, home made. -????cal (Whatever it is, its not enough. I did some rough math, and the soup, the whole fucking pot, is no more than 2300 calories, and thats GENEROUS. I’ve got at least anotherr day of soup ahead of me, its fucking delicous though so I’m not complaining.) 2x Yogurts - 140 cal 2 lemon snap cookies - 60 cal. Couple handfuls of pita chips - 300cal at best

I don’t recall eating much of anything else. I’m well aware this is far below the amount of calories I should be eating, but I’m still getting the hang of things. I DID eat like shit two days in a row, well really shit 1 day, and just over caloric the other. My main focus right now is just to make sure I go outside every day and whatever it is I eat, its good for me. I wouldn’t even say I’m restricting garbage from my diet, but I am trying to avoid my personal kryptonite , aka chips. Soda? Not an issue. Chocolate? sure no problem, Chips? holy fuck dude sound the alarm. I think if anything, I could just make my own chips at home. I don’t need them YET though.

1 last thing before I go, I’ve had a headache all day today, and it sucks. It is definitely food related. Its the same shitty headache I always get when I start dieting. Whew......

Goals for March 5: Eat enough, walk 4 miles, resist the urge to take measurements. 

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

March 3.17

4 Mile walk. This is the Second 4 mile walk this week. I had to make up for yesterday’s 2 mile walk that I bitched out on. My feet don’t even hurt as much as they did last time. Am I adapting this quickly? I wonder when I’ll hit a 5 mile walk. I probably won’t go farther than that honestly, because it is time consuming. I’ll start adding stuff like squats and push ups to my workout soon. I really just want to get into the habit of doing something every day. Actually, today it was a little hard to get myself to get out of bed and go out. Even after I had my shoes on and ready to go, I was sort of not in the mood. I’m not sure if it’s because I was cold, or if the lazy is setting in so quickly. Good thing I went, because after a little bit I got used to the cold, and ya’know, 4 miles. 

That’s what this blog is for, to keep me from straying too far. I’m one of those people who need to keep up a  very constant routine with little to no faults, because then I just fall off the wagon completely. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten into gear to lose weight, and I slip up a little and then its over. No lives, just starting from the beginning again. So even if I hate it, I’ll update this blog every day, and I’ll do my fucking best to go on a walk every day. This blog is more like a public diary than anything. I don’t expect anyone to read these, or like them, or I don’t expect followers. These are just big blocks of text. It still helps, and the year is young. We’ll see how it all plays out!  

Whew.

What did I eat today?

Yogurt - 70 cal Chicken sandwich - 300ish cal -sleep for quite some time- Home made chicken soup- Complete mystery. Something like 400 calories or so. Maybe 500. I used taco bell sauce instead of the usual hot sauce I have lying around.

Thats it. And it’s all because I slept  a whole bunch. I’m glad I finally got some rest. I sleep really awful for the most part, so feeling rested for even an hour or so is a blessing from the gods.

So anyway, have yourselves a great day Tumblr!

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

March 2.17

Haha, wow this day was a joke. Starting off the day with 900???? cals at 1am, this wasn’t going to end well. I can’t even really remember what I shoved into my face. Nothing greasy or stereo-typically fat. 

Before I get into the food, I’ll mention it was only a 2 mile walk. I am slightly disappointed in not going the full 3, but I was quite cold and the wind was awful.

I think I ate a chicken sandwich, 300ish cals. I ate pita chips with cheese, 500 cals of cheese. I ate 2 different yogurts at different times, 150cal. Apple soda - 150 cal. I can’t think of much else but I know I was thinking I passed 2500 cal for sure. Not great, kinda shit actually. March 3rd will be better. (If this is all I ate and I didn’t forget anything, then I did better than I thought. Huzzah.)

I’m fairly certain at some point I thought: Well today is going shit might as well not bother too much.  That’s a really shitty place to be mentally, because it snowballs. Luckily I managed to tell myself to stfu, and I put my chocolate away before I bit into it. Every time I do groceries I buy myself a bar of dark chocolate with salted toffee in it. It is quite delicious. Its there for when I need chocolate. We all need a little chocolate. I’m not going on a two year journey to completely deny myself of life’s pleasures. Still though, they should be pleasures, and not common occurrences ya know?

Anyway, peace out Tumblr, I’ll be back later with a summary of today, as always.

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

March 1.17

It’s been like 4 days my dudes, and I fucked up pretty badly on the whole food thing. 

Burger king - 1600 cal. Holy fucking hell fast food is brutal.

bowl of special k cereal. - 270cal? est. I didn’t weigh it. but it was a small bowl.

Tomato soup + pita chips + bell pepper = 400cal?

Well. thats like 2270 cal, which for my size isn’t the WORST, but fuck me dude.

Also its past midnight and I ate pita chips and cream cheese. Gunna guess like 400 cal right there. And also peanut butter. another 500 cals. 

It’s not a fucking mystery as to WHY I’m fat. 

Thoughts on today and why I went a little bit ham:

No self control past the point of BK. I do blame it, but not because the food is calorie dense no no. Me eating take out of any kind is like asking my stomach to be hungry forever. Something about the grease and carbs triggers [tehe] my stomach and nothing else satisfies me. Well tomorrow is a new day. I’ll behave much better. EXCUSES, STRONK. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO TO THAT BURGER. Well, yea but I didn’t. You live and you learn.

Also the walk today was alright! Windy, and about 3.3miles. I plan on increasing my walk every day until about 5 miles. That should be good. And maybe start running eventually.

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

Feb 28.17

H.. hm.. What did I do today? 

I walked for 4 miles, my left foot wasn’t too happy about it. I suspect blisters may be an issue in the future. I do not have walking shoes yet, fuck. Nature was beautiful and I listened to tunes. The last .5 mile was a bloody nightmare. Side effects of a long walk include but are not limited to; pulsing legs & feet, being tired, foot cramps, and your feet falling asleep. To be fair, I kinda went from 0-100 on my feet. Not that I really plan on stopping. After I finish this post I’ll sleep for a bit, then wake up and go out again. I’ll probably only aim for 3 miles today.

Food includes:

The 4 bread slices of pizza mentioned in the previous post - 900 cal

Yogurt -70 cal

A pouch of kidney bean curry from Indian Kitchens. -180 cal

The tiniest damn portion of spaghetti ever - who fucking knows. 150cal????

I am a piece of shit and still didn’t do groceries. Today for sure. I mean all I have left in the cabinet is a can of Tomato soup. The poor life is a brutal one. 

Goal for March 1: Walk, do the fucking groceries, cook something.Be less of a NEET.

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

Feb 27.17

I didn’t sleep until 5pm, and woke up at 10pm. Basically I sleep like trash. The day included me walking around the city feeling some dull pains in my hips from the 3 miles the day prior. I did not walk 3 miles worth today. When I got home I basically dropped into bed and that was it. I don’t feel guilty for not walking 3 miles.

Before I slept I ate:

Chicken and waffles at Funk’n Waffles. It wasn’t great. I estimate literally all the calories. 1500 if I’m being stingy, 2000 if I’m being generous. All my calories in 1 meal? Nah. I fucked up. Also a vanilla milkshake. Awful. 

Slept kinda okay, but for only 5 hours. 

After I woke up, to about now (10pm ->7:30 am)

4 little pizzas, slices of wheat bread as the crust. I roughly estimateeee 400 calories for cheese, 300 calories for the bread, 160 for the pepperoni, and 40 or so for the sauce, maybe less. So for a midnight snack (or in my case, breakfast?) 900 cal for breakfast? It was pizza. I’m not sure how I feel. In my defense It’s one of the last things I can prepare in my house before I do groceries. But to be fair I could have made 2 pizzas instead. 

To be honest, since I have a really weird sleep schedule it’s hard for me to figure out what goes in what day? I feel like since I woke up at 10pm I should count everything from there until I go to sleep at around 1pm or w/e. but then is that feb 27 or feb 28?  Maybe It would be easier if I am strictly counting from midnight every day? In that case I spent 900 calories at 4 in the morning. Whew. 

Today’s goal: Go for the walk my dude, hell yea. Also make chicken soup. 

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

Feb 26.17

-Walked for 3 miles. ->Was cold, windy, accidentally happened upon a 1/2 marathon down by my local lake. Felt kinda awkward, did it anyway.

-Bought a measuring tape and took my measurements. Will take measurements again at the end of the month and compare. I don’t own a scale.

-Ate under 2k calories. Not exactly sure how many but under 2k is quite a safe bet. Diet included Cottage cheese+ 1 tomato, 2 Yogurts, A handful of pita chips with tomato cheese and cucumber also 5 strips of bacon (haha,, fuck), and 2 homemade tortilla pizzas. I’m not sure how many calories are in a home made tortilla, but before the pizzas I was at around 1k calories, slightly less.

Not the most detailed first post, as I still feel quite silly making a post about this at all. It’s not at all easy for me to talk about myself even with the lack of audience. Again, its not much, but I did get myself out of the house, didn’t eat any garbage and stayed within reasonable calories. Pat on the back for me. 

Other things I’m feeling: Motivated by doing good today, as well as talking about working out with my demigod of a friend. He goes hard in the paint, man. Looking and talking about goals in chat. The fact that tomorrow (today) I’ll get to restock the fridge accordingly. Goal for groceries: Do NOT buy chips. Buy more cottage cheese, keep carbs kinda low. I’m not a ketogenic diet type, but I must admit keeping carbs lower than usual really helps? Bread products tend to make me feel kinda bloated if I’m not careful. 

Well that’s all I really have to say right now. Peace out Tumblr!

[togetherwearestronk-blog]

Obligatory intro post

Good morning Tumblr! My name is.. uh.. call me Stronk, and I’ve made a blog about my path to sweet sweet gains. As I stand, I am a female, in my 20s, 290ish lbs, pretty lazy, depressed as all hell, and tired. I made this blog while I waited for my phone to charge. I thought to myself: Wouldn’t it be great if you actually held yourself accountable instead of pretending you do? Gee you sure do lie to yourself plenty so why not keep a record of what you do but in public. The idea is if I’m embarrassed to post about it then maybe I should do something to rectify the situation. Besides, Tumblr is a bit of a safe space so I shouldn’t be too worried. 

That being said, this is not a fat acceptance blog, or HAES, or whatever. I made this blog to keep myself accountable and actually get shit done. Its for people who, like me, need a little push now and again. Or people who might be in my shoes and should they stumble upon this blog will be like: Jee whiz, someone who is in the same boat as me? How cool!! This blog will contain all of it. My good days, my bad days, my depression, my over the moon excitement. It will contain the days I did jack shit, and the days where I went to the moon and back. It will be PERSONAL. It will contain opinions from depressed me as well as happy me. The blog might have themes of depression, anxiety, and the like. I sure did say depression a lot, must be a thing I struggle with a little too often, haha. I don’t plan on posting any pictures of myself anytime soon, but maybe as I gain some confidence that might change. 

Sorry for the wall of text, but I hope everyone’s day goes well! My phone is charged now so I’ll be out and about for probably an hour or two and probably do some squats. Thicc thighs save lives my dudes. Stay classy.