timbarrus

[timbarrus]

The term "Family" is self-conscious rhetoric.

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I am a communist. This has nothing to do with being autistic. I am allowed to deal with both these things. Concomitants are the reality of luggage. What I see as reality is not what you see as reality. I can keep the mask on for about eight hours, and then it begins to disintegrate. I am compelled by capitalism's spin on what it means to be alive as compliant, soft, eyes to the ground, don't make waves, we are the dead, and we are the dead. We are also not alike. There is no autistic, neurological manifesto were people articulate their rights. I know this: I have no rights. I need a team of neurologists and lawyers just following me around, but can they ride dirt bikes.

The lawyers will be very busy. They all have one focus: We Will Tape Your Mouth Shut. Like I don't know that. I say and write things that makes the heads of Normals go around and around snorting steam from their nostrils. You calculate risk. I am not sure I know what risk means. I am not sure I care. My formative life was with Act Up. I learned, really learned so much with those guys. No one is talking about how antiretrovirals are made in China. Act Up is dead. Meds were always out of reach.

Kennedy will do what the Deviant tells him to do. Does that mean he would kill us.

Yes. That is what it means.

If the tariffs stick, and they will, each HIV pill will cost $100. This is a death sentence. The deviant has just killed hundreds of thousands of people. Americans do not care because that is who and what they really are. I have written seven books. The one I am working on today is called We Will Tape Your Mouth Shut.

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I am a communist. The whole Let's Have More Babies fetish is a hay ride I cannot jump on. Babies in poverty is so unfair. We are worth more than that. Why is slavery always the answer. Just telling me that humanity will rot doesn't make it through the filters of all my second selves. Being in the here and now -- is all I can do -- and it takes power, love, apprehension, and cash. It's the cash part that gets tricky. I have a secret. I have this terrible habit, and moral failure, because I cannot help myself from counting cards. I have no idea why I do that. It might be the money. My autistic masks do work. Ross seems to have a question that I share. I go up to people and I ask them why they are here.

Not here at church. Not here at home with family. Not here at school. Not here at work. But here. On the ground. In the trenches. And why are you here at the beginning of the extinction. People look at me like I am mad. Bring it on. Sometimes, I ask them how much money they have. We are all waiting for Godot. Ross is here (not a criticism) to immerse himself into the glow of family, god, the house of god, and a vision of where the world is going. We do not agree. But I can recognize authenticity when I see it. I just can't share it. The reality is that my life, and the lives of many other people, get the rug pulled out from under them in that deliberate debate where icons reflect conflicts in values, yet you are alone in the here and now and drowning in the culture of hatred.

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In Dirt Bike Town, Romeo Void takes a road trip to the ocean. Which is now onshore Oklahoma. Oklahoma Beach Resorts. What have we done.

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One writ with me in sour misfortune's book. -- Tim Barrus

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Photography is a witch.

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On the longer road trips, we pushed. Pushed and pushed. Our electric bikes had lights. After dark, and so many miles, and your butt itches. Your hole is the Memphis blues and the Memphis bluez ran liquid all the way to Bluez, Texas. Which was under twenty feet of salt water. The desert where we lived was comparable to Djado, Niger. The water was slow, but it was relentless. The desert was slow, but it was relentless. Relented and ruthless have both been shoved down my throat. That is not who I am.

That is exactly who you are. This is exactly what you are. Where are we going to find food, Mister Politician.

Politicians can suck my dick. I have authority problems. I never meant to kill those bad, bad people. I didn't know I had a sword and I have never known how to use it.

Twenty-fathoms five.

Long way down. I wonder what we might find there.

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The characters in Dirt Bike Town do a road trip to the ocean which is crawling for Oklahoma. Oklahoma Beach is a place everyone avoids.

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I am a communist. I feel disoriented reading this. I was not educated at Harvard. I was educated in a grey depressed factory rust-town where the principal would shave your head if your hair touched your ears. That was the focus of education. Your hair and what kind of knife you carried. There is no such thing as an ivory tower or city on a hill. We were groomed for the factory rats. Harvard grads served as mostly second lieutenants in Vietnam. They were the managers. The grunt had a gun. The Harvard graduate had a helicopter. More grunts were killed than graduates.

The university has made a little show of announcing that students whose families make up to $200,000 won’t pay tuition. They've aimed at making Harvard more affordable, especially for middle income students. The goal is to make Harvard affordable. “Putting Harvard within financial reach for more individuals widens the array of backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives that all of our students encounter, fostering their intellectual and personal growth,” Harvard University President Alan Garber made the point that: “By bringing people of outstanding promise together to learn with and from one another, we truly realize the tremendous potential of the University.” 

It's a little late. No one from my school even contemplated Harvard. It sounded like a fish market. Where is this place. Can you bring hookers on campus. The deviant wants to kick education into the gulag. Deviant University was closed. But we will end up with a lot of it because gunk sticks to the wall. It's coming for Harvard, too. -- tim barrus

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Sheer Poetry From The Desert By Tim Barrus

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We went to the dirt bike races. It was a little loud for an autistic kid. But we had fun anyway. I gave him a dollar whenever he looked at me in the eye.

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First Drafts From a a Cheap Motel -- tim barrus

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I am a communist. “It takes a couple dozen people to say yes to make something happen, and it only takes one person to say no." I honestly thought the piece was articulating the machinery of book publishing. I remember when they would all scream at writers to not send them email. Email was beneath them. It interrupted their pretty day. I know they still hate email, but now they're telling us to never sent them paper. As soon as email came out, I started emailing queries to every last one of them. This time, government squirms. Governments create unintended consequences such as tariffs create poverty and inflation. A double whammy. Are we talking about creating a new government from the ground up.

Marx knew that Das Kapital was not a sprint. Jack Sullivan wants the payoff now so politics gets a star on his chart on the fridge.

Time is the continuous progression of existence that occurs in an apparently irreversible succession from the past, through the present, and into the future. It is a component quantity of various measurements used to sequence events, to compare the duration of events (or the intervals between them), and to quantify rates of change of quantities in material reality or in the conscious experience.

There is not enough time, Jake, to go around. All of us want more of it. The conscious experience. Be careful what you wish for. 

What could possibly go wrong. Are we talking about reinventing the wheel. Are we talking about breakfast for kids. Yes. Yes. Yes. How can you take food out of the mouths of impoverished children to feed the rich would make Karl Marx roll his eyes to the sky. He predicted all of this. His writing became relevant with the publication of Das Kapital. Marx's work in economics has had a strong influence on modern heterodox theories of labour and capital. He is often cited as one of the principal architects of modern sociology. Jake Sullivan seemingly would have no connection to Marx. Yet both men were following and attempting (softly) to change not just procedure, but economics on a global scale. How do you make systems that work. For everyone. Conflict is the last man standing.

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We mean it about the barn dogs/ They are always included and they never bark/

Alex never barks/ He's tempted/ But he sits and shivers/ Blue Heelers for the most part are quite compliant/ And loyal/ If a butterfly lands on a tulip in your yard, that dog would herd those children out of the wolf den and you all know I am not going in there/ and you cannot make/ me/ probably make me but in depends on one kay from your white trash wife oh, just shut up for god's sake this is not a podcast/

But it's a daily challenge/ The Blue Heeler is blue because (they take blue ice cream pills) this is America and we have rights/ you have no tights/ no one has rights/ They will cut out your tongue/ Young son/ We have the right to have a red pill night because we are all very ill but under no circumstances take the orange pill because look what happened to him/

Fat/ Bald/ Drools/ I jest/ I jest/ I jest/ Satire is protected speech/ Our king made it up/ He sent two entire armies and a navy just to irritate the fucking French/ and then we fucked him/ we hung a few, too/

We're still hanging people/ Homo sapiens/ At night with our beer bottles and our dogs and who has more beers who in the fuck is carrying the beer for this one/ Who has a flashlight/ I thought Bobby was bringing his hound dogs the real kind/ I just go to these things because I have no judgement whatsofucking ever, and I take to many risks, but I can fly an airplane because I went to the Macho School of flight and fight, and I can murder hundreds of thousands in just a flick of the fingers, and my machine gun and my tank, and my Spiderman unders and out of my jeeptrench just bring me a bike before the East Coast fucking eats me alive like a dragon and the rumble/

Get outta my Ford f150, and both men and women put their tongues in my ear and they wallow around slow like liquid snakes/ It takes one to know one/ a Copper Head is a Copper Head/ I know some hookers outside of Reno who run that wherehouse into the ground and if you want and only if you want we can all ride up there for that grand opening at Stop And Shop and Macho Society of Doom we hang heads in shame/

The Macho Poetry Club wanted to sponsor a pit bull fight versus just another piece of ass/ I want ice cream on my waffle/

Macho Poetry Night is You Know When at the Green Parrot/ Same old place right around the corner from that Esso Gasoline Heaven just get the fuck in line you are in the wrong lane for Waffle House oh my god lemme at that wheel get out of the left and turn hard right and go around the block looking for spies/ What are you doing what are you doing/ Oh, shut the fuck up and honk the horn at girls and then run off the road to avoid the toll get back on that road/ Run me to Vegas Anus/ Vegas, Baby, Vegas/ I can't go back to those casinos/ You all/ I have never, ever, ever counted cards in my life/ Wanna see my Poetry Barn/

tim barrus