thinking-out-loud-to-myself

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Love talking to myself and hear the birds chirp in answer

Oh wait its just like that cause its 6am.

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

I hate how my brain decides to come up with all these ideas and inspiration is yanking me towards my sketchbook when I have an exam to study for and assignments to do like—

Is this my subconscious procrastinating or something? 2 more weeks then I’m done the semester but nooooo ideas are nagging in every corner of my brain

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Sometimes its hard to be critical of yourself, without blaming yourself. Blaming the past. Its hard to reflect when a part of you uses that to blame yourself for past actions in which you can’t change, nor can you control. Maybe you could’ve then. But you can’t now. And I don’t know if those are the thoughts eating me alive. Or if its the blame. I’m not trying to blame myself I’m trying to be critical at this time and this place that I am to reflect.

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Do you ever just look at yourself and realize that you’re not as stupid or naive as people have made you believe?

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

I’m the kid that doesn’t have their “niche”

Like growing up, I knew kids that just knew like so many details about like one topic or subject matter. May it be like Taylor Swift, or like all about WW2 or cars or even airplanes or like a tv show or characters like I never had that??? Like even now I have friends that have THAT topic that they’re oh so knowledgeable about. Like may it be the K-pop industry or like BTS or Ariana Grande, or like tech- I just don’t have that?? And I’m wondering if people should have that? Because now I’m 19 and I have no “niche” I don’t have a thing and I feel like I’m trying to find myself and my thing, but like I have no idea whats my thing. Like I suppose I like this and enjoy doing things like art or reading books but I just don’t have a thing. Does this even make sense?

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Just a thought.

If I bleach and then dye my hair purple will that finally make me the main character?? Am I dying it to reclaim my own self-proclaimed protagonist role or am I doing it just cause its cool. Or is it both.

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

The invention of sushi.

So who decided that they should just slap some fish some green vegetation from the beach (seaweed) and rice to make sushi. Like who was like hm y’know I’m gonna make a masterful creation and BAM sushi?! Anyone know? Anyone wonder??

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Remembering that time of your life where you really thought and saw yourself as an alien. Like I’m not kidding y’all I saw myself as an extraterrestrial. And now only realizing you felt that way because you felt isolated in school and from your social circle. AHAHAHAHA past me was a yikes.

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

So a textbook is something we use for like educational knowledge and stuff right? They literally called it text book like text in a book. So isn’t every book ever technically a textbook??

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Honestly just waiting for the day someone walks into the bathroom in my hall (I live on campus) and sees me dancing at 3AM with music playing in my brain like 😀

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Ya know life sucks and all but maybe I’ll fail but like whatever maybe theres something better for me in the future or maybe this is it and this failure will be my “get your shit together” wake up call

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

“Love U BYEEEEE”

Do y’all ever panic when talking to a friend or maybe relative on the phone, when they’re about to go for like some sort of road trip or journey on the road? And you say “love you bye!” Or “bye, love you” even though you may not say it to that person often or even ever, but you do love them and want them to know that just in case???

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Another lecture thought:

At a young age we were all taught to raise our hands in class, and only when we were “picked on” we were allowed to answer. And all those kids who had the bright idea that just didn’t get chosen would put their hands down and keep their thoughts to themselves or even forget them. Like does this have anything to do with our modern day society and finding our own voices or thinking our ideas aren’t good enough or worth it just because we didn’t get picked on? Like just because your idea wasn’t chosen or picked, it doesn’t mean its not worthwhile. It just wasn’t chosen. So what do you do with those thoughts? Write them down! Tell other people! Make your ideas heard.

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Paper towel

If I got a piece of lined paper and used it to dry my hands, it would be qualified as paper towel. Or a blank piece of paper, or construction paper. They would all be paper towels.

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Has anyone ever wondered what dinosaur tastes like?

[thinking-out-loud-to-myself]

Its 3:31AM but I could really go for a grilled cheese