thesettingsunstory

[thesettingsunstory]

Dragging Away Problems Part 6

Roman stared at the text message between him and Patton. He felt so dirty and bad. Most people did not know that Roman and Patton had dated each other in eighth grade to freshman year. Things were great at first, but then they crashed and burned when came to high school. Roman became popular fast as did Patton. Roman had gotten jealous and lashed out at Patton. He felt threatened by the fact that people liked Patton more. Patton had no idea about Roman's insecurities and thought that he hated him. He said things like "You know that stupid nickname you gave yourself "mama/ papa Patton" nobody thinks of you like that and you are a huge nuisance." or "Pansexual isn't even a real thing Patton it's just an over glorified Bisexual." "You aren't special" Roman slammed his phone down onto the floor as it had burned him. Tears flooded his eyes. He was a terrible person. He had no idea what he could say or do to help Patton. He felt like he couldn't live with himself. He was an ignorant kid back then and he has tried to grow since then. But he still felt bad, terrible in fact. What made it worse was that it was Patton. He could have ruined Romans life at any point, but he didn't. Roman stared at himself in the mirror. His sliding closet doors were mirrors. He hated them. He always had to look at himself. He could see every flaw. The stuff he could never let anyone else see. He got up and pulled out a box from under his bed and went to work.

There was a boy sitting in his room on the floor. He had drawn on scales on half of his face and worked on the extravagant green makeup look on the other eye not surrounded by the scales. The boy had a purple-red birthmark over the eye surrounded by the scales. This was all part of this boys coping. He was a drag queen known as Deceit the Snake. He was a compulsive liar. It was very hard for him to tell the truth so he turned to a profession where he could play as a character, be his true self. Deceit put on his wig and smiled in the mirror. Everyone would love him tonight. He was going to be the star of the show.

"You look absolutely terrible" he whispered to himself. He grabbed his bag with the rest of his supplies. He locked his door so his brother would know he was out. He opened his window and jumped out of it landing swiftly on his feet. He then began the short walk to town so he could get ready for the rest of his performance.

Roman smiled at himself in the mirror. He had done his makeup like a royal and had on a brown curly wig. This was Roman's alternative to self-harm. He made himself up in drag. It took a long time but it was distracting with all of the work he put into it between making his own clothes and sculpting his face the way he wanted. He pulled out his phone and texted his mom.

Roman- Mom, don't forget I am going out for my first show tonight!

Mom <3- Okay honey I love you be safe

Roman- I love you too mom <3

Roman walked down to his car and made his way downtown to the drag show tonight.

Deceit was walking down the street when a group of people stopped him.

"Hey, freak, what do you think you are doing?"

"Not walking," He said trying to push past the group.

"Oh, so we have a smart ass queen on our block."

"I am so scared of you," Deceit said glaring at the group. One of the boys grabbed his wig and pulled it off.

"HEY LEAVE HER ALONE!" Roman drove quickly towards the group slamming on his breaks as he came up to them. The tires squealed as they slid on the pavement.

"What are you going to do about it?" Roman unlocked the car.

"Come on in hun, we have a show to get to, no time to deal with these assholes." Deceit grabbed his wig quickly and ran over to the other side of Roman's car,  getting in.

"Hey get back here!" Roman stuck his middle finger out of his window as he did a burn out before switching gears and taking off.

"Bye Losers!" Roman yelled riding to the club. He may not be confident like this as normal Roman but as Princess Roe, he will slay any dragon witch who gets in her path. One day though he wanted to be as confident as Prince Roman.

part1 part2 part3 part-4  part-5 part-6

[thesettingsunstory]

Logic Isn’t Always Logical Part 5

(Special update for Thomas’s Birthday!! It’s actually not that special its just I’ll be releasing 2 chapters instead of 1 this week)

Logan walked home thinking about black holes and gravitational waves. Time travel was something he thought about when he was stressed. It was a paradox and it kept his whole mind focused on one thing. He had so much school work that he had to rearrange his schedule and he forgot to put in a time to eat. There was barely enough time for him to sleep a whole 6 hours. He walked up to his front door and unlocked it. He was home alone for another 4 hours. He set his bag down and immediately went to work on his homework. His phone went off. He ignored it. It went off again. This time he got a bit annoyed. Though he decided to ignore it again. No phone time until his work is done. It buzzed a third time and now Logan was curious. If it were Virgil it would have been one buzz. If it were his parents it would have been a call. Those are the only people who really call or text him. Maybe it was important? But if were important the person would call. Yes, that is logical. Virgil most likely did one of those auto-correct messages. He should really proofread his messages before he sends them. Logan concluded that a messaging mistake was the reason his phone went off multiple times. But then it went off again. A total of 4 messages. Logan decided to look at his phone finally. All four texts were from Virgil. He clicked on Virgil's contact and was surprised to see the multiple medium length text messages.

Virgil- Hello, I wanted to let you know that Patton has arrived at my house. He is currently worried about something you did when you two talked in the parking lot. I am trying to calm down his anxiety. Am I able to tell him? If not that is okay. I can always explain it in other ways.

Virgil- He seems fine now. That is good. I do not know how much more I could take. I am tired just by being around him Logan. I should eat something but we have no food in the house. I feel like it would be rude to fall asleep with him here.

Virgil- I am so sorry I did not realize that now is not your texting time. I am sorry for bothering you. Patton told me you are not eating. Please, when you read this eat something. You know just as well as me that not eating is very harmful to the body.

Virgil- Hi Logan! Virgil fell asleep with his phone in his hands and I thought I should let you know in case you feel like he is ignoring you or something. I heard his stomach growl so I am going to get him something to eat. I just wanted you to know that you are also welcome to text me on my number too! - Patton  🐶

Logan just stared at his phone and sighed. He assumed that Virgil was talking about his high functioning autism. It's something he kept a secret he never really liked telling people about it. It made them treat him different like he was stupid. And he was not stupid. Pitty was another thing he hated. He had only told Virgil. He and Virgil were very close to each other. They understood each other. Logan set his phone down and started back on his homework. But he couldn't stop thinking. What would happen if Patton knew about him? The truth. He would have to tell it to him sometime if they became friends. If being the keyword. All of his teachers knew but he made sure they didn't tell any of the students. Logan set aside his math homework and grabbed his IB English homework. He had to write about an internal battle within him. At first, he was going to write about space and his amazement and fear with it but now, he decided that writing about this internal conflict would work better for him. It had always been hard for him to explain how he was feeling. Of course, he had emotions and it felt bad when people would dismiss him. Logan thought that it might just be better to also ignore his own emotions since it seemed as if no one would ever understand him, His English teacher had always told him his works were technically spectacular but lacked emotion. This would make him get an even better grade, and It may even help him come to a conclusion.

part1 part2 part3 part-4  part-5 part-6

[thesettingsunstory]

Breakdowns Part 4

The true Prince: Hey Patton

Mamma Pat: Roman? You haven't texted me since like last year.

The true Prince:  I just wanted to let you that Ms. Band started an LGBTQ+ club and the first meeting is at lunch tomorrow.

Mama Pat: Are you starting to feel better, the last time we talked wasn't the best

The true Prince: Of course. I might not have liked what you said, but I should not have snapped at you as I did. And you were right anyway. I've been trying to figure out how to text you, but I never really knew how.

Mama Pat: A simple sorry would have worked kiddo. But that's okay. I am glad that we are able to talk again.

The true Prince: So you are not mad at me?

Mama Pat: never

Patton set his phone in the passenger seat of his car. Tears began falling down his face. He got into his car and laid his head on the steering wheel. Why now? after all this time. Patton was close to Roman and he betrayed him, hurt him, drug him to hell and left him to burn. Patton crawled his way up but he was full of scars. He wanted people to see that he was dying inside. People just don't understand that he could be upset. Why the hell do people not understand? He jumped when he heard a knock on the window. He looked up to see Logan. He opened the door and smiled.

"Patton I wanted to- Where you crying?" His voice almost sounded concerned, even if that meant slightly less robotic. It made Patton's heart do a flip, something that hasn't happened in a long time.

"Oh! It's no big deal! I saw a picture of a very cute puppy and it made me so happy that I cried and now we are here" He let out one of his most convincing laughs. "I am just emotional is all" Logan squinted for a split second at Patton, but eventually just shrugged.

"Okay? I never knew emotions worked that way. I just wanted to ask how much I owe you for the apple and water?" Patton wiped his eyes and smiled.

"They were free silly, I want to make sure you ate. You are skin and bones!" Patton gave Logan a genuine smile.

"Well yes, that is what the human body is composed of," Logan stated.

"You're right, but I was meaning that you felt like you were underweight and might have been not eating enough to sustain yourself, but words can be tricky sometimes."

"Oh, well, in that case, Thank you. I guess sometimes I forget-" a car alarm went off.  Logan looked panicked as he covered his ears his breathing quickened and he started shaking.

"Logan?" Patton went to touch his shoulder. Logan looked down at him and shook his head.

"Don't touch me" Patton drew back and watched helplessly. A minute or two after the car alarm stopped Logan got up and brushed himself off.

"Logan? Are you okay?" Logan nodded.

"Yes, I do not like loud noises. It pains me to listen to them. I do not like them." Patton nodded and smiled at Logan.

"Well, I am happy you are better."

"Your concern is appreciated, I should get going. I have to study." Patton nodded.

"Oh, Logan,  there is an LGBTQ+ club that meets tomorrow in Ms. Band's room at lunch tomorrow. I am not sure if you are queer, but I wanted to let you know, just in case." Logan nodded.

"I do not like changing my schedule. I have done it enough and am still trying to adapt. I will have to decline your invitation. Have a good day" Logan walked away and Patton frowned. Was Logan weirded out by the fact he asked if he was queer? Did he annoy him? Did he really have to go? Patton sighed and turned on his car. His phone went off and he picked it up.

My ray of darkness: My mom said you could come. Sorry, it took so long to reply. She had insisted that I waited for the end of the school day. Here is my address: 1234 W broken dreams, Boulevard.

Mama Pat: Oh it's okay! I ran into Logan. Though he was acting strangely.

My ray of darkness: Oh?

Mama Pat: I learned that he doesn't like loud noises. And then I asked him about the LGBTQ+ club and then he told me that he didn't like changing his schedule and is that some kind of key for "I am not gay how dare you to assume I am gay."

My ray of darkness: Patton, Logan does not talk like that for one. Two he doesn't sugar coat anything. He told you the truth.

Mama Pat: How do you know that?

My ray of darkness: Logan has a hard time giving hints and using subtext, so he usually just tells you what he is thinking. He may have a bit of a hard time expressing how he feels but he knows how he feels.

Mama Pat: huh if you say so. I should be at your house in like 15 minutes. But I have to go because I don't text and drive.

part1 part2 part3 part-4  part-5 part-6

[thesettingsunstory]

Talking with yourself Part3

Roman walked into his IB English class. Today was not a terrible day but it wasn't the best. He was more tired than anything.  But it wasn't the kind of tired that sleeping could fix, it was more of an emotional tired. He decided that he would write about what he was thinking. It had worked before why not now?

'Nothing feels right. I feel tired. But I slept 13 hours last night. Which should not have happened. But I couldn't even walk anymore. It's weird I do not feel comfortable in my own skin? I know I am a very "feminine" person. I am not a female. But I am not comfortable with being male either? I do not see a point in being strictly one or the other. I like aspects of both. I want to wear makeup to highlight my features But will that make people hate me? Does that mean I am not gay anymore? then what would I be? I am not attracted to girls. What would I identify as? Maybe I am nonbinary, but I don't mind people calling me he and it didn't even bother me when people called me she when I joined the cheer squad. Some people call me they or them to be respectful, but I am not sure people would adopt that so easily. What if they hate me afterward? then what would my sexuality be? I could still be gay, but I am not a man loving a man. Well, some homosexual women identify as gay. But gay means liking the same gender. And if I am nonbinary then I do not really conform to one gender so would that mean I am only attracted to nonbinary people. Because that is not the case. I wouldn't mind dating one. but what if they are a nonbinary person who identified as a female before. Does that mean I am being bigoted against nonbinary people? I mean they can do whatever they please, but I date someone who is well overly feminine. But just because they are female doesn't mean they are going to be over feminine. Would that just be a preference? Am I stupid for not knowing? Am I a bad person? Do people actually hate me? Am I overthinking? Maybe I am just Queer. But that isn't specific. What if people hate me because I am so flip-floppy. Why do I care what they think? I care so much what they think. Sometimes I wish I could just be me but I can't. The only place I feel like me is on the stage and even then I am in costume. Why can't I just be myself? Why do I care so much? What can I do? I am not happy with myself. No, I hate myself. But do I really? I do but I am overly confident. Am I truly confident? Can someone be insecurely confident? Covering up their insecurities by putting up a fake facade of confidence. Fake it till you make it, right? Does that actually work?" Roman pulled himself away from the paper. He felt like he just came up from underwater after a long time. He felt like he was overthinking everything. But his feelings are too strong to ignore. He looked around the classroom to see that it was empty. His teacher walked over to him smiling.

"I am glad to see you are back. Are you feeling any better?" Roman looked up in embarrassment.

"When did class end?" Roman felt panicked, but he tried to cover it up.  

"About an hour and forty-five minutes ago." She smiled and looked up at the clock. "I already called your next hour teacher and let him know you weren't going to come to class. I read a bit of what you were writing and didn't want to interrupt you. Are you feeling any better?" Roman decided it was just better to seem strong.

"Yeah, I just wanted to bounce ideas around." He said forcing a smiling gathering his things up.

"Well, that's good. Though I hope you know you do not have to lie to me. I can tell you are obviously not alright. Though I think solving this would be good, don't feel afraid to ask for help. I am always available, and you have my number, just like all my other students." Roman's face paled as he looked up at his teacher and nodded.

"I think I can handle this but I will let you know if it gets too much" The teacher went to get up before stopping.

"Roman, I have an LGBTQ+ club starting soon. It will be during lunch and or after school. If that is something you'd want to attend the first meeting is tomorrow." Roman smiled brightly and had a celebration moment in his head.

"Sounds good. I will totally be there!" Roman wiped his face and stood up.

"Oh, don't bother going to your next class, you can just go home, there's no point in going to class for ten minutes" Roman nodded and started walking out the door.

"Have a nice day Ms. Band" She smiled and waved the boy off. Roman walked to the student parking lot. He should text Patton and tell him about the club. He pulled out his phone and stared at Patton's contact. Was he sure he wanted to text him after what had happened? He decided that texting Patton was for the best. 

part1 part2 part3 part-4  part-5 part-6

[thesettingsunstory]

Where is He? Part2

Patton smiled as he walked towards the corner where Virgil usually sat.

"Hello, my little dark night-" He was met by two kids making out. "Oh, sorry guys- I was looking for Virgil, the kid that usually sits here?"

"The freak boy?" The male asked.

"He wasn't in any of my classes today" the girl stated glaring at the boy.

"Psh he probably finally took himself out" he laughed. The girl hit him in the chest and walked towards Patton.

"That was not an okay asshat, why would you talk that way to him!" The boy looked down and frowned.

"Sorry babe" she smiled and walked back over to him.

"Just never say anything like that again" and then they went back to making out. Pattom turned away but sat there thinking. Virgil would never do that would he? Then it crossed his mind. Before Virgil left he had told him goodbye. Patton sucked in a deep breath trying not to freak out. Of course, he wouldn't have killed himself right? Patton started freaking out more. He had to find Logan. He was the one who could actually talk to him. Patton ran to the math room and slammed open the door making the two men in there jump.

"Patton, what is the matter,"  Logan asked flinching, still recovering from the loud sound.

"IS VIRGIL OKAY HE ISN"T AT SCHOOL TODAY" Logan tapped his pencil on the table agitated by Patton's loudness.

"He is doing online school now" Patton let out a sigh of relief then frowned.

"Awe my baby bat is gone" Logan let out an annoyed sigh and went back to work.

"I can give him your phone number if that would please you" Patton let out an excited giggle and then hugged Logan. Logan jumped and shoved Patton off of him, being visibly shaken by the touch. "Please do not touch me. I do not like it" The explanation sounded forced but Patton nodded understanding, though he was worried about what he felt.

"Logan, you are skin and bone when was the last time you ate?" Logan looked very annoyed at Patton.

"I am busy... Please leave" Patton nodded his head. But before he left he made sure to write his phone number on a piece of paper. He set it on Logan's desk as well as an apple and a bottle of water.

"Thank you so much, Logan. I hope you find some time to eat, otherwise, you will work yourself into the ground." And with that Patton left the classroom. Logan looked at the apple and back at his work. He picked up the apple and ate it as he did his work. His stomach made a gurgling sound happy it was finally getting food for the first time in two days.

Virgil stared at his phone. Logan had just texted him. He decided he might as well text back.

Logan: Patton asked me to give you his number.

Virgil: Logan, he treats me like a child.

Logan: He was worried about you. I think it would be good for you to have more friends. Patton is an acceptable person and would take good care of you and your emotions.

Virgil: So...  are you saying?

Logan: I swear to Hawking if you send me a meme I will be very unamused.

Virgil: He is my emotional support Patton.

Logan: Here is Patton's number, XXX-XXX-XXXX. I am going to work, goodbye.

Virgil: Okay, make sure you eat and sleep.

Virgil got up and started making himself something for lunch. It was a little late but who cares? It's home in school. He walked to the fridge and sighed. No food. He opened the pantry and sighed again. Tomorrow is a shopping day. He sat back down on the couch and curled into a ball. He took his phone out and stared at Patton's number. Maybe Logan was right, he needs to talk to someone else. Someone who actually shows emotion.

Virgil: Is this Patton?

Patton: Yepper this

Virgil: It's Virgil.

Patton: OH I WAS SO WORRIED

Patton: I thought you died

Patton: there were two people making out where you usually sit

Patton: I remember you told me goodbye when you left and my mind jumped to the worse

Virgil set down his phone, he could not deal with Patton right now. He sighed and curled in a tighter ball. What if Logan gave him Patton's number because he secretly hates him? What if is some sick joke? What if- Virgil started panicking. Tears streamed down his face, his breathing becoming fast and shallow. Suddenly his ring tone went off. He struggled to answer the phone.

"Hi, you stopped answering I was calling to make sure you were okay" It was Patton. Virgil was almost glad that he had called him. "Virgil are you okay? You are breathing heavy"

"I am okay now Patton."

"You sound like you were crying! Who hurt you! I can be there anytime you need me! I will fight them!" Virgil let out a small laugh at the thought of Patton fighting someone.

"It's okay, I just had an anxiety attack but-" Patton cut Virgil off.

"Do you want me over there? I know some stuff to help, I can be over there anytime, I have no more classes after lunch. I can leave now" Virgil stopped and thought for a minute. It wouldn't be bad to have some human interaction considering he hadn't left the house since his last day at the high school, which was a week ago.

"I'll ask my mom and text you" Virgil could feel Patton smiling on the other line.

"Okie Dokie, just let me know!" Then the phone call was over, and Virgil texted his mother to ask for permission.

part1 part2 part3 part-4  part-5 part-6

[thesettingsunstory]

Background part1

Virgil was sitting on the couch watching TV with his computer in his lap. It was an average day for him. He was supposed to be doing his school work but he wasn't really motivated to do anything. Nothing particularly bad was happening, no more than usual anyway. His family was fighting, it was getting harder to hide the fact he was gay, his school work got overwhelming fast, and he was just stressed. He was convened he was fine. Sure sometimes he couldn't sleep because everything was bouncing around in his head, anything from that one time in 4th grade he accidentally threw up on the nicest girl in the class to the time his sophomore year when he was told that he was too emotional and always made everything about himself. When he had nights like that he couldn't help but lay in his bed staring at his ceiling trying to focus on the faint music coming out of his phone. Virgil was at the end of his Junior year. He had started online school so he would be able to help his family. He missed interaction sometimes however it was better for his family and him in the long run. He was able to take and replace his high school classes with college classes so he could get ahead. He was never the smartest student but he wanted to get a head start on his major. Plus it would protect him. Virgil was never bullied in high school per se, but no one liked him. He was "too emotional" "too overbearing" "too emo" "too gay" "too depressed" "too anxious". It was just better for him to be alone so no one talked about him. There was possibly one person who was his friend, though he believed it was more out of pity than anything.  Logan was his only really true friend and that was because he knew Logan would never lie to him or manipulate him in any way. Logan always grounded Virgil when he felt like he was drowning in his thoughts. 

Roman smiled as he sat down with all of his friends in the dining hall. He was living his life laughing and joking with all of his friends. Roman was one of the "popular" kids, he was the first male cheerleader in the school's history, he stared in all the plays his sophomore and now Junior year, and he was in the IB program, his favorite classes were IB Theater and IB English 1. He was usually really happy and a total people pleaser. He craved making people happy and he succeeded, most of the time. Everyone loved being around him and he loved people being around him. It made him feel like he was important and needed and that's all he needed. Roman worked as hard as he could so he was never forgotten and never hated. But even the most popular people are insecure. Though he would never show that to anyone, it was something that kept him up at night. And just like anyone he had his secrets. 

Logan sat in his IB Calculous class. It was lunch time but he wanted to get ahead on next weeks assignments. The teacher was kind enough to let Logan use his textbook. Logan was into science, more specifically zoology and astrology. He craved knowledge. He wanted to be known as the smart guy. The man who knows everything. The unbiased man. The man who was going to do something with himself. He had some certain disabilities that no one but his teachers, parents, and Virgil knew about. He was terrified if people knew he would be known as the person who "overcame his disability" not the man who got his recognition because he earned it. He always wore a button up shirt and tie to school. His family was prestigious and he had an image to uphold. He was not allowed to feel. His father always said that feeling was how a good business sunk. Logan had to make his father proud so he can get the business someday. There was no time for anything else. 

Patton walked up and down the hallways a large bag in his arms. It was filled to the brim with food and drinks. Patton always made sure everyone got food and water in them. He was the mother/ father of the school, it really depended on who you asked. Patton always made sure everyone was okay. He felt it was his job. He wanted everyone to feel at peace with themselves because he knew how sucky it was not to be happy continuously, he knew it all too well. And he enjoyed seeing other people smile. He could be very emotional at times, but it was always "positive". He was happy Patty. No one could think otherwise, no matter how he desperately wanted someone to catch on.

part1 part2 part3 part-4  part-5 part-6