thegirlwhofuckedup3

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

Someone asked me today, "What's your hobby?"

Well you would never guess this but my hobby? It's hurting myself. No, not in the way that you think but I like to hurt myself through my thoughts. Through thinking that I will never be enough no matter what and reminiscing the acts of stupidities I've done so far. I like to think that someone is there for me sometimes too but these kinds of thoughts are always, always overshadowed by my "emoness" as what they call but really, I just think that way so that when I fail, I won't have to be as disappointed to myself as much as I already am.

So there you have it. My hobby.

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

We suck. We all suck at some point but you know who else sucks more? Those who tell us to change and forget who we really are.

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

I love that you don't correct people thinking you are gay. Like you just roll with it. Or are you gay?

I have been straight for the last 22 years. But you know, there’s always tomorrow, amigo

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

It is important that you know your own worth. For who else will comfort you when everything else crumbles apart, but yourself.

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

But only drama came to me

Sappho, tr. by Willis Barnstone, from The Complete Poems of Sappho; “You Can Free Me,”

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

I'm dying. I'm dying. I think I'm literally dying. My chest hurts. My hands are shaky. I need to rest. But if I rest now, I'll never be able to have the motivation to continue again. So no matter how much I'm hurting, I should still continue. Right?

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

Have you ever done something really really embarrassing? Just a really really dumb mistake and youjustwanttodisappearorkillyourselforturnbacktimeandundothatstupidity?

[thegirlwhofuckedup3]

I regret the fact that I did that.

That thing I can never undo.

But I still hope you forgive me,

Even if it's just you.

Because no matter what happens I'll never forgive,

That stupid thing I did .

And I will always grieve,

The fact that I acted so stupid.

Ididsomethingreallyreallystupidtodayandijustwanttodisappearanddieinaholeorsomething.